Can I Interest You in Purchasing This Creepy-As-Fuck Clown Motel?

Are you the sort of person who is keen on clowns? Would you even maybe—possibly—say that you’re down to clown? Well then, my buddy, do I have the real estate property for you: the Clown Motel.

I know what you’re thinking: “But Rachel, I’m not a professional clown. And wouldn’t an establishment called the Clown Motel specifically be for clowns?” Fear not, for the Clown Motel welcomes one and all. It would, however, be emotionally and spiritually beneficial to be enthusiastic about clowns. Extremely fucking enthusiastic.

As the A.V. Club reports, the property is located in Tonopah, a small town between Reno and Las Vegas with a population of 2,478. The town boasts a few attractions: a strip mall, a miner’s graveyard, and a lunar crater. And, of course, there’s the motel itself, with a lobby stacked with hundreds of clown dolls, like a fever dream saturated with juicy red smiles. Moreover, the walls are covered with clown-relevant murals, and paintings of clowns hang in every room. It is a veritable Goosebumps novella come to life.


Should you want to book a room in this palace of horrors, prices are easy on the wallet, just $42.50 per night. And prospective buyers, take note: owner Bob Perchetti only asks $900,000 for the property. But you must heed his one condition—the clowns stay. It’s imperative that you honor the agreement because Perchetti will return for visits now and again. The majority of the clowns come from his personal collection, and after 20 years running the motel, he harbors great affection for it.

“Oh, I’m going to miss the clowns. I’m going to come back. I’m going to come back and visit my clowns,” he declared.

That’s...kind of sweet.

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hockygrrl4 Agent of Chaos

Kind of expecting every comment to be a variation on the no way in hell theme.