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It's never easy losing a job. On top of the humiliation of being frog-marched out of the building in tears by the steroid-abusing former army corporal turned security guard, you worry how will you pay the rent, the bills, your dealer - it's a very stressful time. But at least you have love. Oops. No you don't, because he just dumped you, even though he's a hairy loser with all the charm of a moist turd, and half the intelligence.

As you sit in tears outside the apartment you've just been evicted from, the detritus of your pathetic unsuccessful sorry-arsed life piled high around you, spare a thought for Mischa Barton.


Not only does she forever bear the shame of having regularly enveloped the greasy penis of Brandon Davis in her front bottom, but now she's been dumped by 'rocker' Cisco Adler. And Paris HIlton thinks she's fat. And she got killed off from her TV show, so now she's facing an uncertain future, says In Touch. You know, like we all do when we're in between jobs.

"Now that her days on the O.C. are over, Mischa Barton has had to curb her spending. According to pals, the 20-year-old star was earning a six-figure weekly paycheck for starring on the show, and even though she's making millions from movies and endorsements, she's secretly cutting back on expenses."

So that's just ONE gram of coke a day from now on, then. Righty-ho. What's that you hear? Why, it's the sound of my heart bleeding for Mischa.