In Other Pussy News: Cats Are Getting So High

Photo: Getty (cat pictured is not stoned, just frightened)
Photo: Getty (cat pictured is not stoned, just frightened)

Apparently pussies all across America are getting high. This is not a euphemism, ok, it’s medically necessary. So please get your head out of the gutter, though today that has been particularly challenging, I know.

The New York Times reported on Saturday that pet owners are giving their cats marijuana to help alleviate the symptoms of various ailments. The catnip industry has got to be furious.

The Times interviewed Lisa Mastramico, a Long Beach, California resident, and owner of an arthritic tabby cat, Little Kitty. (With a name like that it is only a matter of time before your human plaything feeds you weed.) Mastramico got the idea of treating her cat with cannabis after attending a meeting for a group of marijuana entrepreneurs, but was initially hesitant.


“My concern was that it’s not my place to get my cat high,” Mastramico told the Times. But Mastramico tried it anyway, perhaps realizing that it was nobody’s place but hers.

Now Little Kitty is more “herself”—social, sweet, and asking big questions of life. Like, are humans giant cats, or are cats tiny humans?

And Little Kitty is not alone. According to the Times, marijuana is being used to treat cats, dogs, pigs, horses and other domesticated animals. None of this has been approved by regulators.


Other highlights of the article include a heroic Floridian who feeds hemp chews to her skunk, which is suffering from cataracts.

Then there’s a guy in the Bronx who created his own hemp-based powders to treat pit bulls afflicted with allergies and separation anxiety. He is also a New York state assemblyman!


Anyway, America is pretty nuts at the moment, but it’s not our pets’ faults and they should be allowed to be super chill all the time.

contributing writer, nights

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