A lot of people say that chicken is a good meat, but they are wrong. It is a bad meat.
This has nothing to do with ethics or factory farming (although factory farming is bad). Birds are unsettling animals and I don’t much care for them, mostly because there’s something obscene and overly revealing about the way they move. Instead, I choose to focus on this either ignored or maligned fact: Chicken doesn’t taste very good unless you happen to like the flavor of dirty barn bird, which is exactly what you’re getting.
Allow me to come atcha like a dark horse and tell you some truths about chicken:
- It almost always tastes raw.
- You often have to eat around its bones.
- It has too many bones.
- “Chicken” is, phonetically, a horrible word.
The four exceptions to this are:
- Boneless fried chicken
- The beer can chicken wrapped in bacon that my friend made once
- Braised chicken, because it’s been infused with other flavors and—ideally—lost the original structure that makes it so gross to begin with.
- Any chicken your parents or grandparents make me, as I am polite and will eat and appreciate what is served
All other chicken is bad.