Prince is dead. Today is stupid. This year is stupid and the world is stupid. Here are some very not-stupid stories, videos and reflections on the greatness, shadiness and the never-suffering-fools perfection that was Prince.
Let’s start with one my favorite moments: When Prince kicked Kim Kardashian off his stage because A) Why did she think she could share a stage with him in the first damn place? B) Who today would have the balls to do that and C) Who has the steeze to do it as flawlessly as Prince? Nobody.
I got to see Prince perform at this terrible Nike-sponsored NBA All Star event on Wall Street last year. The crowd was pretty famous and very drunk and not really paying enough attention. Prince dealt with this by ripping through his set and finishing every song by looking out at the crowd and saying, just coldly enough, “Thanks. You’re welcome.”
This isn’t a story about Prince doing anything but once I was listening to The Hits/The B-Sides and cleaning my room in middle school and “Sexy MF” came on and my mom came into the room and was like “WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?!” and I was like, “It’s Prince and Dad gave me this album!”
Also, the recent incredible event of Prince throwing a pajama dance party (“dress to impress”...in pajamas) at Paisley Park, complete with pancakes, with the doors opening at 2 a.m. Also the first time I ever heard “Purple Rain” and thought my heart would burst as the riff went on and on and on. Also the moment when he dunks on every single person onstage at this George Harrison tribute and then throws the guitar in the air at the end here.
For his 1994 VIBE cover, right after he changed his name to a symbol, he poured journalist Alan Light a glass of port, said “I learned about this from Arsenio,” and toasted “To Oz.” Even at his most mundane, he was a visionary in pure existence.
In 2010, Trey Songz took his life into his own hands and tried to sing “Purple Rain” during the BET Awards tribute to Prince and it didn’t go over well. As Trey strained to hit the high notes and gave his trademark yodel, the camera zoomed in on Prince, who gave the side eye of life. LIFE. I think a piece of Trey Songz died that day.
Because we all want more, here are some honorable mentions and further proof that today’s loss is very real and incredibly shitty.
9. James accused Prince, once his opening act, of stealing his shtick.
Things took a rocky turn between the men when Prince was supposedly “emulating my moves like a motherfucker.” It pissed James off. “I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but because my act followed his, it looked like Rick James was copying Prince rather than vice versa.” Later, once Prince became famous, he refused to sign an autograph for James’s mother. It didn’t end well.
Image via Getty.