Welcome to Flavortown: Man Seeks Woman for Guy Fieri Sexual Roleplay

Illustration for article titled Welcome to Flavortown: Man Seeks Woman for Guy Fieri Sexual Roleplay

There’s someone for everyone, even those of you dreaming of fucking a man pretending to be Guy Fieri in an Oakland apartment that he’s redesigned to look like a diner.


In a Craigslist ad shared by BuzzFeed’s Ryan Broderick, an Oakland man (37 years old, blond WITH goatee, 4'10, and separated from a partner) seeks a woman who’s willing to indulge him in a very specific and SPICY fantasy:

“I have a fantasy where I am Guy Fieri going to a diner on his TV show,” the man writes in his post. “I order a spicy Texas melt with a side of potato wedges, you pull up your skirt and say, ‘I’ve got a hot creamy place you can wedge something into.’”

And lest you think he’s impolite or bad with money:

“I’ve already spent $12K decorating my apartment like a diner so I can host.”

Could this ad possibly be real? It no longer appears online, but it seems cruel that the fates would tempt you with your dream man (second only to the real Guy Fieri) only to snatch him away! Just think: All you’ve ever wanted is to hike up your skirt and get wedged. Perhaps it’s well within the grasp of your hot and creamy place...

Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Image via Getty.


Morifarty's ringtone

I volunteer as tribute. I love Guy Fieri and I will not be kink shamed by you vanilla flavorless weirdos.

Guy Fieri and me against the world.