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Here's Who Should've Been on the Shortlist for Time Person of the Year

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On Monday, Time announced its annual shortlist for 2015’s Person of the Year, an honor annually bestowed to someone who has changed the narrative, or some shit.

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This year’s list is lacking, to say the least. It includes Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS (no thank you!), Vladimir Putin, and Donald Trump—all verifiably garbage choices. It also includes “Black Lives Matter activists,” who are actually a deserving choice and I appreciate their work.

If I was Queen Time, my list would include some politicians, some artistic geniuses, some charitable souls, and some people who have just won my heart. Here’s a look at what should’ve been:

Lin-Manuel Miranda

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For writing and starring in the theatrical event sure to influence the art form for generations to come, Hamlet.

Mary-Kate Olsen

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For community service-marrying an elderly Frenchman and proving once and for all that ageism is a thing of the past.

This Smiling Dog

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For bravely looking into the face of adversity.

Lincoln Chafee

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For the same reason as the dog.

My Mother

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For letting me serve myself one kind of ice cream which I tried and hated, telling me to throw it in the garbage, and giving me better, different ice cream one time this year.

Shonda Rhimes

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For making years of quality television programming that I watched the entirety of in October.

Sunny Obama (Pictured back left)

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For putting up with as much bullshit as anyone in the White House and getting literally no credit.

Yolanda Foster

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Because she seems like she really needs this.


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.

Images via Getty.

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DISCUSSION

thisisanexparrot
ThisIsAnExParrot

Lin-Manuel Miranda is just absurdly talented. I sat behind Jennifer Lawrence at Hamilton and it was the best day of my life.