Donald Trump Is Happy Republicans Are Being Nice to Him

Illustration for article titled Donald Trump Is Happy Republicans Are Being Nice to Him

Last week, GOP presidential hopeful and deflated football Donald Trump was publicly cryhurt that the Republicans were being mean to him, and threatened to run as an independent. Apparently, they’ve gotten nicer.

“They’ve been really nice over the last few days, they’re starting to see what’s happening,” said the human embodiment of hot dog filling on CNN’s State of the Union with Jake Tapper. “They viewed me as an outsider I guess, and now they’re starting to view me not as an outsider because I’m leading in all the polls.”

On Friday, Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus played the role of the embarrassed father to Trump’s petulant child when he assured the nation that he’s not gonna be so dumb as to make a third party run.


“I think he knows that if you’re going to beat Hillary Clinton— if Hillary Clinton is going to get beat, there’s only one party that’s going to beat her,” he said on Fox News. “It’s the Republican Party.”

Unbelievably, Trump is making some sort of impact. He led a recent CNN/ORC poll, earning 18 percent support among registered Republicans — beating Jeb Bush by 3 points. CNN reports:

Though Trump currently tops the race for the nomination, his advantage is by no means firm. A majority of Republican voters, 51%, say they see the field as wide open, and that it’s too soon to say which candidate they will ultimately get behind. Among that group that see the contest as wide open, Bush has 14% support, while Trump has the backing of 13% and Walker stands at 9%.

Godspeed, you saggy ear of corn.

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Image via Getty.

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I’ll keep posting it.

Can we please get a “Insults we’ve called Trump, Ranked” post? Here, I’ve made a list:

-Exhaustive child (def in the top ten)

-$4 billion puddle of tinted moisturizer

- ever worse human and godsend

-wonka factory escapee

-Serious republican Presidential Candidate

-Open-Faced Quesadilla

-Idiot billionaire and face of YouTube’s popular “Annoying Orange”

-Noted Asshole


-shrunken apple head

-permanently open mouth

-Verbal Billionaire

-deflated basketball

-cartoon plutocrat

-Sentient overripe pear

-melted creamsicle

-Rotting pumpkin time-lapse

-fluffy bouffant

-gaping mouth with a hairpiece

-oozy lather of absurd hyperbole

-dick-nosed baldy

-perpetual asshole

-serially bankrupt business mogul

-television clown

-bloated spawn of a Penn Station ashtray and Nickelodeon slime

- legitimate hairstyle choice

-anthropomorphic caterpillar

-toupee’d buffoon

-bloviating billionaire

-idiotic rich man

-vibrating Bologna loaf

-Deflated football

-Human embodiment of hotdog filling