Saturday Night Social: You Give Me The Sweetest Taboo

Every single possible human shout to the Queen Sade who had her birthday on Friday.

Secondary shouts to the realest Sade song ever heard with the realest Sade lyric ever written: "It hurts like brand new shoes."

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OK, Ladies (& Gents). Having a pretty serious issue and would like your feedback.

I'm having a hard time. (Trigger warning: Alcohol abuse)

Last week, I decided I was imbibing too much, desired to correct the issue. Put myself on a "wean" from red wine. Instead of my usual 1.5-2 bottles of Merlot per evening (I know. Shut it.), I went for the reasonable 1 bottle only, and to bed.

Maybe the worst night I've had.

After the 1 bottle, I went to bed around 1am. Hubby works nights, so I usually wait up to see him. I had also taken a few Benadryl for my constant allergies/sleep readiness.

Tossed & turned all night. Freezing cold sweats. Short, continuous anxiety nightmares. Never once was I fully asleep. Woke and looked at the clock every 2 hours. Due at work (usual) 10am the following morning. I stank like something most foul serious when I awoke. Showered, shampooed, gargled, et al.

Got up. Went to work. Jamba Juice. Bagel. Everything was functioning as it should mind/body-wise. But the events of the previous night worked on my mind all fucking day. I couldn't wait/fear to get home and Google alcohol withdrawal.

So I did. And what I found out was pretty fucking scary. And after I read through about 15 articles, I realized I was shaking. I got really scared. Went directly to the market and bought wine. It took 3 glasses over 2 hours to regain my composure.

I will add: I have never - in 2 years of this pattern - ever been hungover. No headaches. No vomiting. No blackouts. No bad dreams. No cravings. I think that's why I called myself a "Wino" and never considered I was an alcoholic.

I think my good-time-party-wino days are over. According to what I read? I could have killed myself doing the self-weaning thing. (Amy Winehouse?)…

I spoke with my husband, about this & my fears for myself, just last night - such a wonderful love of a man - and I will be seeing an MD this week for an at-home 7-day detox plan. I think the Librium plan is best, but I am leery of benzos.

I have an amazing therapist, whom I've seen for years regarding familial abuse & other issues. However, I have never spoken to her about alcohol use, as she is a fervent soberite - her dad was a raging alcoholic. So - I'm torn. I trust her so very much, but if I bring this up with her - I don't want to be judged, pidgeon-holed, preached to. Do I know she would do that? No. I'm just afraid she will, and I may lose my trust in her.


Have you been through this, and what is your advice?

How did you manage detox? Food, vitamins, herbal supplements, counseling?


I'm terrified. But, this must be done. Please help.

Thanks, everyone. I am most appreciative.