Here's Your Latest Peek at the Very Sparkly New Cinderella

There's a new trailer for Disney's upcoming live-action remake of Cinderella, directed by Kenneth Branagh and featuring Cate Blanchett as the Wicked Stepmother. It looks like a glorious drunken rococo pile of satin and chiffon. Which is to say: surprisingly delightful.

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Also, it must be said that Helena Bonham Carter as the fairy godmother is genius. How can I get IRL Helena Bonham Carter for my IRL fairy godmother? Please advise.

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Bears for President

And yet my Spinderella biopic continues to languish in development limbo. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF HOLLYWOOD?