There is no way I am prepared to cry over a damn Budweiser commercial, unless it's one of those elaborate ones that feature puppies and horses during the Super Bowl. Then all bets are off. But on a regular day of the year? HOW DARE THEY MAKE ME HAVE EMOTIONS.

The slogan for the ad is "Next time you go out, be sure to make a plan to get home safely. Your friends are counting on you." That was actually their second choice. Their first slogan was "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE OR WE'LL KILL THIS PUPPY.SERIOUSLY. WE ARE NOT FUCKING AROUND. WE ARE BUDWEISER AND WE WILL DO IT." It was a little extreme. It's hard to tell in the commercial if the dog is sad because his owner didn't come home that night or because his owner drinks shitty Budweiser beer. Dogs are sensitive about that kind of stuff. Don't worry; the commercial has a happy ending. But it does cut out before you see the guy screaming because he just found the giant pile of dog doo his "best friend" left for him in the bedroom.