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A Beauty Queen's Secret Weapon Against Camel Toe

There is actually a product that beauty pageant contestants wear on their genitalia to prevent camel toe during the swimsuit portion of the competition so they can achieve the smooth, anatomical incorrectness of Barbie's mon pubis. It's called a Cuchini.


Ever since I learned that toddlers wear dentures to compete, absolutely nothing shocks me about the pageant world. Thank God for reality TV, otherwise we'd never learn these things. Case in point: Bravo's new show Game of Crowns about a group of women in the Mrs. USA pageant circuit. Not only have these women taught us that Cuchinis are an industry standard, but we've also been told that, actually, if you wear one, you have a super gross pussy. (Adult pageant contestants might be more confused and fucked up than kiddie pageant contestants.)

So the lesson here is that camel toe is shameful and Cuchinis are shameful. In fact, you should probably be embarrassed about having any labia at all.

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