The clip above would be way more hilarious if this girl were a Tracy Morgan character or something, but you know, it's real, so it's sorta like, sad. But either way, it's amazing. Angelique is a 14-year-old girl who's been having sex since she was 11, and is apparently a hooker. She went on the Maury Povich show yesterday to explain that she's confident in the way she looks, loves her lifestyle, will beat the shit out of anyone who doesn't agree with her, and brags about how she has had sex for a bacon double cheeseburger. Thanks to Molly for catching this one!

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Maury shows break down into three categories: unruly teens, deformed/ill children for whom they do something nice, and paternity tests.

I'm still waiting for the perfect storm of critically ill unruly teens wanting to know who their real daddy is.