11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Christmas is here! Well, not here. But in mailboxes: The new Bronner's catalog has arrived, and some of the ornaments inside really embody the meaning of the holiday. If the holiday is about hanging strange things on a dead evergreen.

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Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Let's just say you're a kid, learning about religion, what B.C. means, and the birth of the baby Jesus and stuff. And maybe you learn that Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicolas and Kris Kringle, and that the modern image of Santa — as a jolly man in red — first became popular in 1881. Does Santa leaning over the baby Jesus in a manger make sense to you?

Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Nothing says "Christmastime" or "Winter Wonderland" like a disembodied alien head. O come all ye faithful!

Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

This is when you know your love of TV has gone a tad too far. Surgically remove yourself from the couch and go outside.

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Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

We've previously discussed the pizza and the Coke cans: I'll admit that N. — the Coca-Cola cup — is pretty cool. I have no problem with the mushroom, since they do grow on trees, but the tomato? No comprende.

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Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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Everyone knows that when he's not passing out toys for girls and boys, Santa lives below a rainbow outside of Dublin, guarding his pot of gold.

Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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Certain foods seem right for Christmas: Gingerbread, sugar cookies… fortune cookies, SUSHI. Who doesn't want fake raw fish rolls? On a tree? Man, this stuff is so weird, it's enough to drive you to drink.

Illustration for article titled 11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
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Luckily, they've got booze, too! Now if they'd just make a gin and tonic ornament…

Earlier: 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
9 More Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

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DISCUSSION

ZemarSea-Urchin
ZemarSea-Urchin

It is too soon for christmas. That said I am terrified of the leprechaun santa and I want it. Also I think maybe Santa is going to steal the baby Jesus and stick him in his red sack and cart him off to the pole and force him to work along with other enslaved elves. Or at least that is what it looks like. I would also like to have those ornaments.