Britney Spears Is Maybe/Probably Getting Fired from The X Factor

Illustration for article titled Britney Spears Is Maybe/Probably Getting Fired from emThe X Factor/em

Lo! See how the gutters run red with the blood of the famous as yet another celebrity has been axed from The X Factor. It is rumored that Simon Cowell, with the sanguine thirst of a wild beast, has turned on his simple yet consistent companion Britney Spears after but one season of service on the lofty and precarious judge's throne. An insider tells ye olde US Weekly that "Britney will get the boot. Producers wanted her for the long haul, but it isn't working."

Zounds, but why? Apparently, Cowell's privy council has determined that Spears isn't worth her $15 million per season salary. As a second unnamed palace spy reports, "They paid all that for her to say 'amazing' and offer half-claps." And now she shall be the one to pay.

It was not too long ago that Spears was a favorite of Cowell's, but — oh, sorrow! — how things can change. Unless Simon has a last minute change of heart, Britney's head, clip-in bangs and all, will join those of fellow former judges/Simon's other wives Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger and Cheryl Cole. L.A. Reid will also be departing from The X Factor, but, as he gave up his position voluntarily, he will be allowed to quietly live out his days in the countryside.


Exclusive: Britney Spears Will Get Fired From X Factor [US Weekly]

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"They paid all that for her to say 'amazing' and offer half-claps."

No, they paid all that in hopes that she would relapse, have a meltdown, and maybe even shave her head live on camera this time.