Last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras was typical in its display of unorthodox parenting that involves bad advice, spray tans, and sexy bikinis for five year old girls.

1.) Mantra Fail

2.) "Hot Mess" Fail

3.) Inner-Beauty Fail

4.) Spray Tan Fail

5.) Investment Fail

6.) Grammar Fail

7.) Sticking to Ethics Fail

8.) Normalcy Fail

9.) Logic Fail

10.) Confidence Fail