Yay Summer: U.S. Beaches Are Disgusting and Too Much TV Will Kill You

Summer has officially arrived, and with it, the usual sweltering humidity — as well as the news that your local beach may be a health hazard.

According to a report from the Natural Resources Defense Council — as seen on Salon — one in ten U.S. beaches are not safe for humans to go swimming.

Yay Summer: U.S. Beaches Are Disgusting and Too Much TV Will Kill You

Yay Summer: U.S. Beaches Are Disgusting and Too Much TV Will Kill You

The NRDC has an interactive map (as does USA Today); so you can enter your zip code or zoom in and find out what's up with the water near you. FYI:

The Great Lakes region scored highest for unsafe contamination; the Gulf Coast, New England and the West Coast also had high rates of beaches to avoid.

We're talking about bacteria levels here; and as USA Today puts it, "Illnesses that can be spread by contact with polluted beach water include stomach flu, skin rashes, pinkeye, respiratory infections, meningitis and hepatitis." Summer lovin', had me a blast… of diarrhea.

If you're thinking you'll just stay inside with the air conditioning and catch up on Orange Is The New Black, bad news: too much TV has been linked to premature death. The study out of Spain followed over 13,000 adults:

Those who watched three or more hours of TV a day were twice as likely to die over the study period, compared with those whose watched TV for one hour or less daily, the study found.

Uh, three hours is barely any TV at all, where I come from.

So… Your options:

  • Spend the day sweating on the beach without touching the water
  • Spend the day at the beach swimming in sewage and contracting hepatitis
  • Stay inside and watch TV but draw up a will to prepare for your premature death
  • Stay inside but spend the day pacing back and forth like a tiger in the zoo

Cool? Cool. Enjoy.

Image via Steven Chiang/Shutterstock