<![CDATA[ - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[ - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[]]> @TheLadyK: Here here!

msrosiethegeek

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @jessnichole: I went to the grocery store with my husband about 3 hours before I gave birth and as perfectly fine. Trust me, I had what is considered a precipitous labor but I KNEW when that baby was almost here. There is a huge mental and physical change between labor and delivery. And a lot of times a woman can get stuck having 5 or 3 minutes contractions for HOURS like my poor sister-in-law... I guess that's when you'd hit up the hospital for a little something to speed things up :)

msrosiethegeek

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Yikes, I didn't mean to turn this so off topic at all, sorry! It was a natural reaction to all the "might as well wax, cause we're gonna slice and dice down there anyway" that was going on.

I wasn't advocating home birth, if you'll go back and read my comment -- I said the *documentary* was, which I didn't agree with.

@blushingflower: Yes, women died, but generally it was due to bad hygiene, and bad health in general. Childbirth itself is not inherently dangerous, the handling of it is. And that goes for medieval England or an American hospital. Our infant mortality rate is frightening.

Otherwise, I agree with you -- healthy compromise is all I want.

So, to bring this off topic back *on topic* -- that's really what is terrifying, isn't it? Women are so concerned about scheduling their C-section around their Brazilian that they forget to do what is best for them and their baby. Where are our priorities? Being pampered at a rough time of your life is one thing -- and the right thing. Being so self-absorbed that you care only about your appearance is another.

LadySheridan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @blushingflower: I'm w/you. Not sure when this turned to a discussion of natural childbirth instead of waxing, but I've been highly skeptical of home birth ever since my friends lost their baby during one. Then I met a 50-something woman w/college age kids who'd known *three* women over the years whose babies died during home births. *shudder*
I'll stay in the hospital, thanks, just in case my baby (or even me) needs one, as that could turn out to be the case even in the very last seconds of a delivery.
We in the West are mostly able to forget how thin the line between life and death can be, which is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

vixenatrix

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @karnett: Well, the poo they can wipe up, but your vadge hair is there for the duration.

vixenatrix

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I got a leg and bikini wax on Wednesday, a mani/pedi on Thursday, and then went into labor that night (delivered on Friday). Bby came 10 days early, so I'm convinced there really *is* something to the nesting instinct.
It was GREAT to lay there w/my newborn son knowing that at least my nails and legs and bikini line looked good, having felt like such a schlub for months.
They gave me Vicodin to deal with discomfort from the tear/stitches and thank god they gave me Colace too -- how not nice to make a new mom use the toilet w/out one! Now I know to ask for it in the future.

vixenatrix

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I <3 my midwife. I'm a granola eating tree hugger with a few control issues, so the attitudes of the docs I interviewed for prenatal care really grated on me. (The "Here's how birth works, you come in at X, we wire you up like a sixth grade science exeriment and add chemistry until there is a kid." "Do I have any say in what gets done to me and my child?" "Not really." "Good bye then.")

I sat in a hot tub for a couple hours, with the midwife checking heart beats every half hour or so, very relaxed, very zen, got out of the tub, pushed twice, had kid, took nap, shower and went home. Not a day at the park, but very loving, very normal, very right feeling.

At every point the midwives would talk to me about different options, ask what I was most comfortable with, and give their reccomendations. (I was young, healthy, with zero risk factors, so everyone was happy with very little interferance with my body figuring the whole thing out.)

I think balancing risk with comfort on an individual basis is really the only way to go. Higher risk siturations require more oversight, and honestly, some people may be more comfortable with more invasive procedures than being left alone for most of labor. More people touching me, doing things to me will only serve to rachet up my stress level, which isn't the way to go. (so I'll stay hairy and full of poop, thanks. Though I'll take any excuse for a pedi.)

TheLadyK

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @LadySheridan: Women also died. I'm very pro-natural childbirth, and I think we overmedicalize birth and a lot of other parts of being human in general and a woman in particular. But I think when we get all anti-medical births we forget that birth, while natural, is also dangerous.
What we need to do is find the balance between pre-emptive, unnecessary procedures and a complete laissez-faire approach that assumes natural is always best. (And actually, a midwife is pretty much the best compromise, if you and she can agree on what medical invervention is acceptable and when)


blushingflower

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I really don't recall giving a single, flying fuck about my appearance at the time. I was mostly concerned with not dying and getting every last Christmas present wrapped up (weird nesting thing).

Skinny Bone Jones

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Actually I don't think its a crime, if your body has been kind of out of your control for awhile, and is about to be ripped open by a human being, to pamper yourself a bit beforehand.

betakitty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I had a pedi the day before I was scheduled to be induced because who knew when I'd be able to get another one after the baby was born. So glad I did cuz my toes looked fab up on those stirrups.

Then my water broke the morning I was supposed to be induced. I totes washed and styled my hair before going to the hospital.

ayrez

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: We MUST see this.

sybann

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Yeah, my moms told me they shave you down before birth anyway. So why would you have to do that beforehand? Also, re: the going to the bathroom thing, she said if you have some time they give you a laxative beforehand to alleviate that problem.

brassinpocket

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I worried about a lot of weird stuff when I was pregnant, but waxing my vadge wasn't something that ever crossed my mind... this is possibly due to the fact that I was informed by the OB/GYN that most women actually poop on the delivery table while giving birth. What's the point of trying to make your vagina look awesomely hair-free if people are going to end up watching you poop? Classy!

karnett

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: So women have to worry about health care professionals judging their looks?

Mrs. Colbert

]]> <![CDATA[]]> When my mom gave birth to me in 1979, she washed her hair before going to the hospital. My dad? He threw up in the bushes outside of the house while she was washing her hair.

MissPeacock

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'm not a mani-pedi person, but as I understand it during the last month of pregnancy you feel kind of gross, and birth, well that gets really gross. If it makes someone feel better to have clean fingernails when they're shooting 10lbs of baby and fluid out of their crotch, I can get behind that. You don't want to look like complete shit in a picture of the happiest day of your life? Totally understandable. Though that woman's quote about admiring her nails when looking at a picture of her newborn son gave me the douche chills.

freestylewalker

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I stopped being able to reach down there to shave at 30 weeks... that was three weeks ago. I've heard that waxing hurts even more when you're pregnant, so I think I'm going to just try to reclaim the crunchy spirit I had when I went five years without shaving anything.... I'm slowly gravitating towards putting on my bluegrass records and busting out the tea tree and patchouli.
In so many ways, I swear, being pregnant is akin to the Twilight Zone...

HeathaFresh

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AbbyNormal: It may have already been called, but that is comment of the day.

Wanting to be pampered is one thing, but the idea that we should be expected to look good while we are giving birth (probably the hardest physical work you're ever going to do) - crap!

Do people offer miners or steelworkers facials and make up sessions? Lots of people see them too.

Dogtanian

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Athaliah: uh, if you needed a c-section for health reasons, it's not really "unnecessary" then, is it? relax.

TheGuvnah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @SkipToMyLou: OMG RELAX. I could give a flying fuck what the surveys are about chosen c-sections. I made a half jesting comment about reading about women choosing c-sections for their own convenience (which I did, in Time), I have heard women say they would do that, and I have spoken with doctors who talked about it. I was not getting into a statistical debate with you because I don't care.

I think convenience c-sections, be it for doctors' reasons or for wome's reasons, are horrible, but in the middle of The Office and 30 Rock I was not the slightest bit interested in responding to your efforts to pick a fight.

TheGuvnah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Sorry, I sent that first respnse before I read your clarification doc.

badteaparty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> While I doubt I will ever have children, I would probably be one of those women who went in for a wax before delivering. Why? Because I am a hairy, hairy beast. And I would be so embarassed and uncomfortable knowing that I was so freakish overgrown forest down there that I would be distracted. I'd have to do it just so I'd feel comfortable putting my feet in the stirrups. Labor is terrifying. Pain sucks. Toss embarassment over my freakish hair on top of that and I can guarentee I'd spend all of my time crying and feeling bad about myself because I'm not "normal" down there, hair wise.

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Were you a doctor in the 50s? Standard practice today is no enema, no episiotomy (unless for some reason it becomes medicaly necessary, and that is rare). And I have also heard many doctors say they don't care whether or not you're shaved. You sound like a pretty old-fashioned doc!

badteaparty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Doc jezebel I feel you. I get the impression that the shaving is not for your convenience but a matter of sterilization. Kudos to you and where you work for taking steps to m ake mothers feel comfortable

socasweet

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @beatrice3000: That's what I think to myself everytime one of these alarmist stories about high-maintenance women comes up. Yeah there out there, but there aren't that many of them, they're all totally fucked, and I don't care what they do. I have to imagine that this kind of prepping only goes on among women who've never given birth before. Isn't there a good chance you poop while in labor? Or do they get enemas too?

aubonpam

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel:

I just wanted to give you a high-five in the midst of the bullets you've been dodging.

As a birth doula, I've been part of a birthing team over 60 times and counting. Also, as a natural birthing, breastfeeding, clothdiapering MANIAC...I can say with certainty that a very large majority of doctors ARE NOT THE DEVIL.

I feel fairly qualified to spot a good doctor vs. a hurry-up-and-labor-woman-I-have-a-2pm-tee-time doctor...In a heartbeat.

Your attitude seems to point to the former, not to the latter. Kudos to you.

MissAnthropy

]]> <![CDATA[]]> When one of my friends was prego, all she wanted was pedicures. I went with her a week or so before birth and tried to get her to have a mani as well, and she said, "I can do that myself, but I can't reach my feet, and they are so sore, that's my luxury right now."

If it's for comfort reasons, absolutely, they deserve it. If it's for appearance reasons, i.e., we'll be showing the video to all our friends and I want to look good, that seems a tad self-absorbed. But nothing surprises me any more.

brendastarlet

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Jozebeen: I was born in a teaching hospital. When the interns came in unannounced, my mother took her feet out of the stirrups and crossed her legs, refusing to give birth to me until they left (granted, my birth was not imminent at the time.) She told them that if the hospital wanted to foot the bill, they could stay. If not, they better get the fuck out. They left.

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Sure that article reeked of desperation. But I'd like to give the general female population the benefit of the doubt and say that these were the minority hellbent on getting a blowout, regardless of whether or not their baby was on the way.

Also, let's talk about how awesome your feet feel after a pedicure. I forced my brother to get a manli pedi when he was home temporarily from Iraq. I think the foot razor may be one of the greatest things ever.

So yeah, wanting to feel good before a small person comes barreling out of your vag? Why not?

clyderambutt

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'm a birth doula.

One of the more bad-assed, amazing births I've ever been to was that of a client who sold MaryKay.

She did 10 hours that culmunated in a vaginal birth, completely UNMEDICATED (her choice!)...In full makeup.

Also, getting a manicure/pedicure while you're having contractions: Not unheard of. Let's give pre-labor a nod, okay? I have a sneaking suspicion that this woman probably wasn't in the throes of active labor while beautifying was taking place. If she was, then she was most likely using anesthesia.

You want something to help relax you, to help take your mind off of things. Relaxing helps the birthing process go smoothly.

If a mani/pedi helps a mom relax, go for it! Why be so judgemental? Since when does getting your nails done suggest that you don't care about the health of your child?

Let's give these ladies the benefit of the doubt...Let's say they have their ducks in a row, and this is just one thing that helps them feel comfortable.

If she's the kind of person that will worry about fingernails or vag hairlessness or whatever, I'd rather have her take care of all that BEFORE she's in labor, rather than being distracted about it during.

MissAnthropy

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Goddamn. I mean, I love women, don't get me wrong - but why do some of them continue to be SO STUPID?

Ladies - you're making us look bad. Stop it before I come cut you.

zivah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Hell Kitty: Well, that's why you have a bikini wax, obviously. I know I want a nice clean landing strip for my kid to land on.

Wow, that sounded wrong.

no_name

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: I understand what you are saying and thank you for the information. I agree that it's all about the woman's comfort level especially when she is in a situation where she feels powerless and frightened. And shit, if you have to shave me bare to do a more accurate episiotomy I could care the hell less! Hair grows back.
Childbirth has been occurring for millions of years without these procedures, but as to women surviving it ... well it was the number one cause of death for women until about 50 years ago. That's not to say that homebirths aren't a great choice for some people, but I personally will be availing myself of modern medicine.

scullymurphy

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I had my second child at home with just my partner and a fantastic midwife. I could not have felt more beautiful and empowered and loved if I had been bathed in honey and then dipped in diamond dust... my toenails were chipped, my bikini-line was so long I probably could have plaited it and my eyebrows resembled something belonging to the face of Liam Gallagher... honestly, it mattered not one bit.

Londonmac

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Makes sense to have at least the mani-pedi thing going for you when you're literally shitting that thing out with tons of people staring at your hoo-ha.

Hell Kitty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Wow, this whole discussion made me even more determined to use a midwife when I have kids -- the tales of unnecessary procedures abound. The more natural the better -- women survived childbirth for millions of years without enemas or episiotomies. Or shaving. Yeesh. Rent the "Business of Being Born" sometime -- way too biased towards home birth, which I find icky to contemplate, but it's amazing how natural and ordinary it can be.

I'm all for doing whatever to pamper yourself during pregnancy -- I know me, and I'll probably wear make-up because I am so self-conscious without it. I'll probably want my legs shaved. But the rest of it, forget it.

LadySheridan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> There are photos of me taken 21 hours into labor right before the docs decided to do a c-section. I look awful and scary. This does not matter though because the whole point of childbirth/delivery is to Have A Child...not look like a fashion model. Why should women feel compelled to meet beauty standard while giving birth?

magpiegirl

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I work at a video rental store, and about 2 months ago a veeerrry pregnant lady came in. I had seen her before and knew she had been pregnant for awhile and must be coming near her due date.... well, she came up to the counter to pay for her rentals, and had to stop twice during the transaction because she was having contractions!! 2 contractions in under ten minutes? I would say you should be at the hospital if that is the case, not renting movies! I still boggles my mind.

jessnichole

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @BreeDMN: Your two vastly different (yet similar) experiences clearly make you an expert. You got me, I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV. For the last time, grooming is for mom's comfort if that's something she feels will make her feel better. It's not going to affect my care at all. Oh, and maybe I'm not as competent as the other medical professionals you've enlisted, but I certainly can't work as well when hair is in the way.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Jozebeen: Hehe, I'm not really all that freaked out. I'm sure by the time I've seen a couple of friends go through it, it won't seem all that bad. Its just that I'm an only child whose mom almost died giving birth to me. After 24 years the pictures of my mom, green from lack of blood and nausea, holding me are both funny and cute, but as an example of having a baby - kind of horrifying.

AFever

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @kakinston: Damn, I'm jealous. I'm a freaking forest (if I don't groom) on the mons, down the sides, and all the way back to my tushy-hole. I'd KILL for just a few wispy hairs down there!

formergr

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'm very skeptical of this "Doctor Jezebel". I've had two children at two different hospitals, two different docs, two episiotomies and wasn't shaved for either. If you really were an OB, when or where did you practice? In the 50's or 60's? At Cedars Sinai in LA, hospital to the stars? By the time you're in transition you don't give a rat's ass who's looking at your privates, and if anyone is judging you about your "personal grooming" they don't belong there in the first place. Give me a freakin' break!

BreeDMN

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Spaceman Bill Leah: "Bajingo" is killin' me over here, literally cackling.

NoInheritance

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Some women chose "unnecessary" c-sections because they don't want their uterus prolapsing or their bladder tearing, like my mother's, aunts', grandmother's did. I think I may be one of those Bitches who's too posh to push. Selfish bitch that I am.

Athaliah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel and @LaFemme:

I do have hair 'deeper in', but we're talking about a few wispy hairs in a very small area. I'd be perfectly fine with a nurse trimming things up and shaving the area actually meant to be cut. But shaving the mons because you're cutting the perineum is like a man shaving his head in order to avoid growing a beard.

I'd be pissed if, post-labor, I discovered some idiotic OB nurse apparently didn't know where episiotomies happen. Depending on my level of cojones, possibly even pissed enough to demand they rub ointment on my razor-burned mons...

kakinston

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AFever: There is no reason to be scared. After a long, liberating pregnancy your body is ready. I had an amazing experience with the birth of my son; had a mixed CD of my music and went with the natural flow. I had a low dose of epidural which allowed me to feel and push but without complete numbness. I did take some laughing gas and recommend it! In fact, I think I offered it to my doctor (I'm no bogart!)
In the end my pics look like an tired but happy woman with a beautiful baby in my arms. I have found a common denominator in that look of a woman that has freshly given birth. It is a most natural look if your destiny includes a child.
Scary is when your 2 yr old freaks out at the store and it is Christmas and you MUST complete your purchases! ;-)



Jozebeen

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @kakinston: I know where I'm supposed to be cutting :) Hair does grow in the area of the midline incision, and those who carry out the order to shave don't really discriminate.

Your comment made me think of a hilarious moment from medical school. Tiny, super old Englishman with an equally quiet voice, teaching me pelvic exam pearls. "index and middle fingers straight... and TUCK YOUR THUMB!! we are not in the business of unwanted stimulation!"

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @kakinston: I am not a doctor by any means, but you must be very lucky if you only have hair on the front (mons). I am sure it depends on the woman, but many do have hair that is not just what you see standing in front of a mirror that I could see needing to be shaved for an episiotomy. I mean, from other hospital experiences I have had, they shave you for MANY surgeries, I can see something vaginal being no different.

LaFemme

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Meg: I find the various methods and standards interesting too! I learned of a completely different technique/instrument from the one I use from a patient who had moved from Europe. Didn't make a difference in terms of comfort or outcome, but enriched me all the same.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel:

I think it's the "drove people to", in addition to "take care of themselves" that makes this particular statement seem creepy. If you're using "take care of yourself" to mean indulge in sensually enjoyable personal care activities, you usually don't use a phrase like "driven to" in the same sentence. I am not driven to get a massage -- I freaking WANT TO. Whereas if you mean "take care of yourself", as in "don't be a nasty dirty ho", you might use a forceful expression like that.

Also, I find it really odd that you apparently have a medical degree and seem to think that shaving a woman's bush (generally located on and around the pubic mound) is going to help you perform an episiotomy better. Please to not be cutting up le mons while I am in labor, kthxbai...

kakinston

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Jozebeen: Ack, baseball poo!!!! Just one more reason to be scared of childbirth after that epic post a while ago led to the catchphrase "NO ONE SHITS IN MY WIFE" in my house.

@leaderbean: That is awesome. No lie.

AFever

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: I'm glad you came clarified your original comment, because I misread it completely. I think we're both on the same page regarding a woman doing what makes her feel the most comfortable.

And it is interesting to hear your comments (and others) about what is common, because at my hospital (the three in the area, actually) they don't do routine shaving or enemas. And I mean "interesting" genuinely, not sarcastically. Also, I'm speaking as a woman who gave birth a few times, not as a doctor, so I'm not challenging your medical expertise. Just find all the various methods and standards here, and around the world, kind of fascinating .

Meg

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @TheGuvnah: Nope. Not convinced. That article contained ONE account of a woman who chose a c-section (and incidentally even she mentioned she chose it because she was scared by the possibility of being given an unwanted c-section at a time not of her choosing). The article contained no statistical evidence of an uptick in woman choosing c-sections for their convenience. I find that article as credible as the 'Opting Out' crap from the NYT two years ago. Ie, not at all. This is what happens when journalists interview a friend or two and claim that experience is a nationwide trend.

Click on the second link in my post and read just the one para summary of a credible, large scale study.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @kakinston:

I am reflecting exactly what people tell me. I don't dictate what people should and shouldn't do. For some people, taking care of themselves includes a Brazilian, and the medical profession is not to blame for that one. At any rate, shaving the area was a pretty standard thing to do where I trained, in case we had to perform an episiotomy and repair it afterwards.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'd probably keep up my regular playboy waxes up until birth, 'cuz my dugouts so nappy a procedural shave would irritate the shit out of me! There's nothing worse than ingrowns on the cooter, but add healing from an episiotomy and an infant to the mix? Hells naw!

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Heh, as far as looking good for the pictures, we didn't have time to get any :( So I have no clue how I looked, nor did I care at all. As to all this talk of ob/gyns and hospitals... I had my baby at home!!! I was attended by my midwife and doula (and my husband, of course. I could not have done it without him.) No intervention of any sort, whatsoever. I didn't actually feel any contractions until I was fully dilated, and I only pushed for ten minutes. I had an 8lbs. baby girl in my own home, with only a tiny lateral tear on each side, which healed in a few days. I didn't get stretch marks, no poking or snipping or shaving, and I weigh less now then before I got pregnant (about 103lbs.) I know it isn't for everyone, but, I think doing it the old-fashioned way rocks... Oh, and all this fuss about getting stretched out, I know some people have problems, but I'm tighter then I was before, I guess because I'm more conscious about doing kegels. Or maybe I'm just really lucky. ^^ Yay Midwives!!!

msrosiethegeek

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Kaehoku: It's thoughtful, honest people like you that make the world go round. That was hilarious and adorable!

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Thanks for the explanation. That clarifies things a lot, and it can't be easy to anticipate what a whole bunch of different women will want at the most critical moment of their lives. Personally, I still shudder at the thought of the enema and shaving...I think I can only handle so much traffic in my nether regions at once.

I can haz Valium n manicoor naow?

BeckySharper

]]> <![CDATA[]]> "drove people to take care of themselves."

Wow, I didn't know a full Brazilian was considered the bare minimum of 'taking care of yourself' these days. I like to think I'm a fairly sanitary person, and yet I don't feel that my lady needs to look prepubescent.

Is this what they teach you in med school nowadays? That pubic hair is dirty and women whose vulvas look more Gene Wilder than Telly Savalas are not "taking care of themselves"?

I have never been happier to have a normal gynecologist rather than one of these body image freaks.

kakinston

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @SkipToMyLou: [www.time.com]

TheGuvnah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> i actually got a blow out and mani/pedi before i had an abortion. i'm not kidding.

leaderbean

]]> <![CDATA[]]> True story: when my stepmother had reached the pushing stage of her first birth, she was holding back and the nurses kept telling her she needed to relax and go with it -- she went without drugs, too, so it was definitely time to just push the baby out. She confided to my dad that she was afraid she would poop on the table, to which he sweetly replied, "Would it help if I told you you already did?"

I had a pedicure about a week before my daughter was born, but that was because I wanted someone to massage my legs and make my toes pretty since I couldn't reach them. My midwife didn't care either way, though, and she certainly didn't care about the length of the beard on my clam. :)

MysweetuntouchedMiranda

]]> <![CDATA[]]> My husband got so sick of me complaining about not being able to trim my bajingo, he offered to do it himself before we in for the induction.

I politely turned him down because I have watched that man shave his own face with an aggressiveness that frightens me.

Spaceman Bill Leah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @ecs:

thank you! valium for anyone who wants it here! no, just kidding. maybe a french manicure.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AFever: I don't know if I would've takne an enema, but I'll tell you; it made my BM so rock hard I couldn't go for a week. After laxative upon laxitive I finally 'delivered' my bowel. It was the size of a softball and rock fkn hard. I also popped a couple stiches in the process. It actually flooded my toilet and I laughed in hysterics (rather than cry) as I had to mop up a flooding toilet,as my baseball plugged it. Then my girlfriends laughed! "Yeah, that's what we forgot to tell you!" Stay regular! When everything pushes down it gets very compact and it was difficult, scary to take that first BM. So mom's to be, now you know!
P.S. I think Doc. Jezebel was speaking from a mother's personal choice and her level of comfort rather than what the hospital staff thinks, I am SURE the professionals are doing their focused job which is your and the babies' health. Also, I have never heard of sutures being put on that area without a shave.
Geez, is pubic hair a big deal these days? Sorry, but guys think it looks like a raw chicken from what I heard.



Jozebeen

]]> <![CDATA[]]> When those labor pains kicks in, trust me, you will not give a fuck if you are naked in the middle of Time Square on New Years Eve and Dick Clark is standing right next to you!
My husband actually pulled the baby out after the head crowned( midwife standing by)which means he had his hands up in there afterward I voiced my surprise that I did not shit on myself and he was like "Ah, Yes you did". We just laughed.I was not ashame ,nor was he disgusted. Why should he be? I gave him a beautiful son.

ionu

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @BeckySharper:

I see a huge, huge range of people and as you can expect, different people have different attitudes about their bodies. Everything I do centers around my patient. I'm available 24/7 and actually give out my personal cell phone number to all my patients (only a handful have ever actually abused that privilege). That said, the enemas are for the mother's comfort and to put her at ease. No one has refused that I can recall, but it's certainly that person's right to do so. One mother told me how embarrassed she was to "give birth to a huge turd" (her words) during her first pregnancy and was mortified by that- and thankful that she had an enema this time. As I said, nothing bothers me, and I go out of my way to put my patients at ease. So many people feel self-conscious and embarrassed for a whole lot of reasons, and I do my best to remove that from the equation to concentrate on their health. The same goes for all hospital staff. I realize I came off wrong when I highlighted the fact that there were a million eyes on a patient in a teaching hospital [none actually judging you, I promise!], but my point was that that irrational fear of being *in the position to be* judged drove people to take care of themselves. Also, grooming is one of the few things a person can potentially control, and many do *for their own comfort*. I'm sorry I implied that you were being judged, but it's really easy to develop those irrational fears when so many people are around. When I had a major surgical procedure done on myself, I realized how vulnerable and helpless I felt. I got taken care of ridiculously well (an unspoken perk of professional courtesy), but I still felt like a worthless pile of sick goo unable to take care of myself. Irrational, but I got a facial and my nails done, and I felt a lot better. As for shaving, it is definitely tricky to throw a stitch in hairy tissue, and I'm not a noob- I pride myself on my technique and cosmesis. As for episiotomies, they are definitely not routine anymore but sorry ladies, there ARE absolute indications for them and I've been there -- 3+ hours of stage 2 delivery and fetal heart rate issues means your baby needs to come out asap or else to avoid adverse outcomes including death.

As for c-sections, it's definitely a mixed bag. They don't necessarily reduce complications and birth defects unless they are actually indicated (as in breech delivery), and can actually *predispose* to surgical complications like throwing clots, bleeds, sepsis, etc. We are discovering that some specific birth defects would exist regardless of labor complications. There are some lawsuits that John Edwards would have lost if today's scientific knowledge were available back then. The thing is, people are much more lawsuit-happy about birth defects they perceive to be caused by a "poorly-managed" vaginal delivery than maternal infection due to a C-section.

Whew, sorry for the rambling.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Founded in 1918, Childbirth Connection is a national not-for-profit organization dedicated to improving maternity care quality and value. Their website is www.childbirthconnection.org.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Sophie: Hahaha, good catch! And aww, a little freudian slip? :) Yay Moms!

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @TheGuvnah: Where is your evidence for the increased scheduling of c-sections by women for their convenience? Try reading the Childbirth Connection survey, here, [www.childbirthconnection.com] or even the summary section on c-sections, here [www.childbirthconnection.com] for a thorough de-bunking of this myth.

This survey was conducted in 2006 and included the responses of more than 1,600 mothers across the nation.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AFever: I imagine the enema as being done as soon as you arrive- administered early when you are just beginning to have contractions and still mobile (if you don't have an epidural) where you could just sit on the toilet for 5 minutes. Then by the time you were pushing there wouldn't be any suprises. That is just how I envision it though. I haven't had a baby so maybe I am wrong.

LaFemme

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: I'd like to add what other people are saying by remarking: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? Sorry for the yelling, but really now, does any woman who has gained between 25-35 pounds (more, if you're me) who is tired, sick of lumbering around, sick of avoiding tons of fun stuff, need additional reason to be worried?

You have pissed me off.

TaraIncognita

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Oh good Lord, thanks for reminding me of the 7 med-students that came in to witness the birth of my son, unannounced..I saw them writing in their notebooks, could it have been about my pubic hair?? ;-)

Jozebeen

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Having been through this twice, I have to say whatever makes you comfortable is what you should do. I have never seen a picture of a brand new Mom who isn't beautiful.

That said, I did the waxing thing, because it's what I always do, and I couldn't see my bikini line, so was paranoid about that. I tried doing the wear-a-little-make-up to look good the first time around. It doesn't look quite as good smeared all over the place. I actually washed off my mascara before labor, because I didn't want to look like Alice Cooper the first time my daughter saw me.

Kaehoku

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @battleaxonista: Every time you call it your monchichi it cracks my shit up!

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Sheer Debauchery: You're right - you get shaven. They were laughing at me there because I was on the table, shaking really hard from fever, and I was like, "Don't go to short, it'll itch too much when it grows in." Hey, practicalities.

And I was posting on Jezebel the entire week leading up to the birth, even when I was having false labor pains, because what the hell else are you going to do? It's not like you feel like moving around (well, I didn't, anyway.)

TaraIncognita

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @LaFemme: But isn't having an enema grosser? Eek. I've never had an enema, but I have shat myself (hey, we've all had a debilitating flu/food poisoning before) and it just requires some baby wipes or TP or something, not liquid up the bum! To each their own though.

Never though I would say "to each their own" regarding the choice of shitting one's self or enemas, lol.

AFever

]]> <![CDATA[]]> this is stupid. they give you a free shave with childbirth at the hospital.

scarlettletter

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @LaFemme: And I would take an enema. I know it's natural, but the idea of shitting myself as I deliver my child does gross me out.

LaFemme

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I can see myself dusting on some powder after giving birth so the light isn't bouncing off of my face and making me look as drenched in sweat as I imagine I would be. In terms of the mani/pedis, I don't know. If it makes you feel good, do it. And for most of the women who feel it ohmygod absolutely necessary, these are probably the same women who are doing it EVERY sing week anyway, and so yeah, they were keeping up with their "maintenance" until the very end.

As DoctorJezebel said, I think this has to do with your own comfort. If you are the kind of woman who usually does these things and then feels totally powerless while in the hospital and is going to worry also about looking a mess, then by all means do them. If you are going to be the person giving birth who is super worried about having a full bush, whatever, wax it so you can think about the baby you are pushing into the world. If you are not, then don't wax, who cares.

LaFemme

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Ha, when I started labor with #1, I sat and finished writing my shower thanks yous and pre-wrote the birth announcements. With #2 I insisted we finish cleaning the house--vacuuming, putting away toys and laundry, general tidying.
Yes, I did have a mani because I wanted my hands to look pretty. But I had my priorities right!

hello.kitty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> My main concern was the pooping issue. My OB/GYN giggled at me when I asked if I needed an enema...He was like..."OK, that's going to be any better? If you poop, you poop,now let's get this little one out of you!"

I love this man!

meanmommy

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @exelizabeth: WELL SAID!!

@SkipToMyLou: and yes, I am well aware of why there exists a large increase in c-sections, but there is a growing number of women opting for it for their convenience as well, as evidenced by a recent Time magazine article. Also, I work with doctors and we have discussed this.

TheGuvnah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Oy Vey. This reminds me of when I saw pictures of that woman from The King of Queens holding her new child in the hospital with full hair and makeup done. Granted, she was in a magazine and all, but could she have waited to sell her baby out for money until after she was out of the hospital? The birth of a child is beautiful. No one expects you to look like you do on your TELEVISION SHOW after you just spent (insert hours) pushing out a babe.

raleigh likes swaddling

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @ecs: I don't agree that I was "harshing" on anyone. Nor do I think it's wrong for women to do whatever makes them feel better. I challenged something I didn't agree with, in a calm and respectful manner. And I'm quite at ease, but thanks for the suggestion.

Meg

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I just had a baby two and a half weeks ago, before then I hadn't seen the ole beav in several months. During my birth and hospital stay, I didn't give a shit about what I looked like or what anybody thought about the wildebeast my bush was.

bunnypants

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @ecs: Frankly, I'm not going to "ease the fuck up" about how *I* want to give birth, because I do not trust doctors to act in my best interest. And maybe that's harsh, but I've heard too many stories about women in labor who just were not listened to, so you've got to look out for yourself. Dr.Jezebel's attitude just reeked of the attitude that I fear most from OB/GYNs. The way she phrased her first comment was not, "This is what might make women comfortable," it was, "You should keep in mind lots of people will be looking." Badly phrased? Maybe. But I want way more sensitivity from my OB/GYN. I hope she considers that as she works with her patients. Because if I were her patient and her attitude were like it came across in that first comment when I met her, I would find another doctor. *That's* about my comfort.

exelizabeth

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Oh, no no, I get that. If its about having control and making yourself comfortable, than I'm all for whatever someone needs to do that. But I just find it disheartening that a woman about to give birth would worry about whether people, including her husband for fuck's sake, thought her vag looked ok.
I think its that your last line makes it sound like the fact that people will be examining your vag is something that people criticizing these mothers are forgetting...but we're not forgetting, we just think its ridiculous to worry about.


AFever

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Honestly...I went into surprise (early) labor before I took a shower one night and my biggest regret about it all is how nasty I felt laying in a hospital bed with dirty ass hair. In all our "first" pictures I have my hair slicked back and look horrendous.

These women aren't trying to impress anyone, just feel better at a physically miserable time.

fulanita

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @ecs: The part I take issue with is her saying that she does enemas and crotch shaving as a standard part of preparing women for labor. This has a lot more to do with the comfort of the doctor than the comfort of the woman. That's what people are reacting to--not the free beauty treatments.

BeckySharper

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I looked made-up and fabulous in the pix taken right after I had my first and second kids. For me, it was indeed more of an identity issue. With the first baby especially, I was terrified that I would never be "me" again, and putting on a little makeup to look like myself made me feel better. No word yet on whether my adorable-and-adored kids think that makes me a shitty mother.

jadzia

]]> <![CDATA[]]> One of my girlfriends had a pedicure and foot/leg massage the day before her baby was due. Her feet and ankles were swollen all the time by that point, and she just wanted an excuse to put her feet up and let someone else do something nice for her.

In the post-push pictures, she has a messy ponytail, and sweaty bangs plastered to her forehead, but she's holding her new baby, and looks incredibly happy....which she was. She didn't get a pedi to look pretty, she got it to have a chance to, really, have to sit still, take a break from nesting, and let someone rub her feet and legs.

Me? I didn't get a pedi. I got a hair cut just before I was due, really, the day the baby was due, and I was in early labor, I got a hair cut. Why? It was a little bit of pampering to have someone else wash my hair, and my stylist always did a wonderful scalp massage when she did that (God, I miss her, I live too far away to have her do my hair regularly, 3000 miles is a long ass commute), and to make my hair look pretty and shiny. Even if it was just for a few hours, it was nice to have freshly cut hair. Not because I wanted to "look pretty" in the post-push pictures, but because I wanted a little bit of pampering before I had to be changing Pampers constantly.

ThatsMS.Ktoyou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I cannot believe you guys are harshing on Doc Jezebel like this! All she said is if it makes the mother more comfortable, who cares? NO ONE IS TELLING MOTHERS THEY SHOULD GET WAXED. Ease the fuck up people!

ecs

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I can't see what the problem is with getting a mani/pedi before labor. You're just preparing for a big, messy event, and wanting to feel spruced up--for yourself, not the nurses, as some people seem to believe--is so not a big deal.

ecs

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @SarahHeartburn: Just the word makes me shudder.

PinkSoxHat

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: God, I really don't want you assisting when I give birth. If I need to poop, you docs are just going to have to suffer. A woman about to give birth does NOT need something shoved up her ass to add to her discomfort. Ditto on shaving the crotch and adding major discomfort when the hair grows back spiky three days later. If you can't put sutures into a crotch that's not shaved, ur doin it wrong.

BeckySharper

]]> <![CDATA[]]> My cousin got fresh tips put on right before she was due, and had perfect hair and makeup for all the pictures. She also got a massive piece of "push jewelry" for each of her three kids.

Yes, we are from Jersey.

And yes, there is a vowel at the end of our name.

La Madrugada

]]> <![CDATA[]]> OMG my mother is one of these women! She wouldn't allow any newborn photos until she had her hair coifed and her makeup applied. She literally gave birth, groomed, put on the trendy lounge wear she brought with her and THEN allowed photos. She looks stunning and it speaks volumes about her and her parenting. None of it good. That being said I am kinda jealous 'cause I know I will be BUSTED but glowly in my post-push photo shoot.

Alohamaid

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: I'm sorry, but I find it odd to say that a woman about to give birth should be considering that her "vag-area is subject to scrutiny by any number of students, nurses, interns, residents, and attending physicians." If the woman would feel more comfortable with her nails done, so be it, but implying that her vagina is being judged by those employed to deliver a child is kind of demoralizing.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @exelizabeth: Episiotomies are evil.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: If you're saying that women should do what makes them feel comfortable, great. But it doesn't seem helpful to me, to tell someone who may be self-conscious to "keep in mind" the various people who will be judging. Various medical professionals, who frankly, should not forget the "professional" part.

Meg

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Um, the interns, students, residents, etc. can deal with it natural, thank you very much, and for you to suggest that we should give a damn is pretty offensive. Also, you stay the F away from me with your episiotomy. Actually, where do you work? I don't want to give birth there.

exelizabeth

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: Your last sentence makes me sad, and angry. I tried to shave my vadge, but seeing as I couldn't see, it probably looked like I had vaginal alopecia. Honestly, If a woman wants to get a mani/pedi, put on some gloss, or shave their vadge, I don't really care. But to suggest a woman do so, or consider doing so, because the hospital staff may not find her grooming habits pleasing is ridiculous.

Meg

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: You have got to be kidding because you are cracking my ass up!
Fuck you and anyone else who thinks they have a right to say how I and my husband prefer my appearance to look.

KnitSandwich

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Eh, pretty soon Cornell, CHONY, and Mt. Sinai will find a way to market this and offer it in-suite.

ScarlettOdahling

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AFever: It's so not what those people think (I frankly don't care -- I've seen it all), but more about self-conscious mothers. One mom told me that she felt completely powerless in the hospital- in pain, and at the mercy of so many other people- and one of the only things she had control over was her appearance, i.e. whether her eyebrows were done, nails painted, etc. It was more of a self-esteem boost for her than something to appease hospital staff.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @ElleL: I know it was a typo, but I like how you said, "mothergood." Hear, hear to Mothergood!

Sophie

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @DoctorJezebel: If I am pushing a 5 to 10 pound little person out of my vag, and any one of the listed people has the nerve to think about whether my vag is pretty enough, fuck them. Fuck them SO HARD.

AFever

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I am very low maintenance but before both my deliveries I got waxed and my toes done - so glad I did. During my recovery it was nice to have pretty feet and a clean bikini line since the rest of me felt and looked like hell.

msjlu

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @BadenBaden: Y'know not that many women have scheduled c-sections for their own convenience. They are oft talked into it for their doctor's convenience however. Convenience meaning everything from avoiding a long labour they have to attend to predictable office hours to opening up beds nice and quick to avoiding *any hint* no matter how unlikely of a lawsuit.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Unless my monchichi has magical baby-pooping powers I'll be too busy howling in pain to give a fuck.

battleaxonista

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Having a hairless pubic region makes it much easier to do an episiotomy and close it up afterwards. Back when I was conducting deliveries, I would actually shave the area in advance or put in an order for a nurse to do it, just in case, along with the usual enema. We had a beautician available in our ward for manis/pedis, though her main job was with the cancer patients. Many expectant mothers took advantage of her services! I would add a caveat... keep in mind that in a hospital, especially in a teaching hospital, your vag-area is subject to scrutiny by any number of students, nurses, interns, residents, and attending physicians -- not to mention your husband, if he chooses to participate in the process. I don't pregnant mothers for wanting to look their best.

DoctorJezebel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Oh, and if you have to have an emergency c-section/surgery, won't they take off ALL the polish and give you a free shave anyway? ;)

Sheer Debauchery

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'm more concerned about women scheduling their c-sections for convenience than getting a pedi.

BadenBaden

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Eh, if it helps relieve the stress of impending mothergood, why not?

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I would figure that would at least be the one time in my life it would be deemed acceptable by others to NOT have a perfect mani/pedi, hairdo, and shave. Believe me, I would take full advantage of that free pass.

Sheer Debauchery

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: I love the photo of my mom with newborn me -- she looks exhausted and messy but so damn happy!

Now that I think about it, girlfriend coulda used some blush though.

NoInheritance

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @SkipToMyLou: I certainly wasn't going to have time to do it afterwards. I can imagine if you have another at home it might be tough to prioritize that, however. And here's the kicker- the nurses at the hospital wiped the polish off a couple of fingers on each hand to attach heart rate monitors. So in my hospital pics I have a very uneven, bright red mani.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Eh. I had a mani/pedi a couple of days before I had my (first so far) baby.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Waxing is a priority before childbirth? Where are these ladies delivering, Hugh Hefner Presbyterian? "OMG, Nurse Becky, look at her! Body hair is so demode!"

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @beatrice3000: the aggressively vain.

with 10 weeks to go in this pregnancy, i can tell you the last thing on my mind right now is waxing. Jesus.

SharonTaint

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Sure why not!
When you are in nesting mode you NEED to get everything in order. I went for a pedicure, much appreciated with the swollen feet. Why not have a pedicure while you're starting the contractions, better than waiting in the hospital! The manicure should consist of cutting nails short and clean.
I think I did a little trim down there too..



Jozebeen

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I know someone who put makeup on her newborn daughter before people took pictures of them. I shit you not. Lip gloss and blush. They both looked ridiculous. Of course, I looked like death warmed over in that picture, but please.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Isn't this just a small class of women who would do this?

beatrice3000

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I get annoyed at girls who wear anything other than sweatpants or actually do their hair or makeup for an exam, so I'm not sure I could handle a woman who worries about a pedicure before giving birth.

PinkSoxHat

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @BeckySharper: The only reason I'd want to shave is because I begin to get uncomfortable when I haven't for some time.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I wouldn't want my child to get a bad first impression.

...

In all actuality, I really don't think I'd care. The beautiful new born will be what's on everyone else's mind.

Atsumi

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka: Ooops, I forgot the gagging sound.
bleeeechchchchchhchh


Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[]]> These are the kind of women who have a professional photographer running around the delivery room and someone fixing their make-up between pushes.

Mills

]]> <![CDATA[]]> And if the baby's already crowning, you can get the slippery little bundle of joy her first highlights and/or weave!

andBegorrah

]]> <![CDATA[]]> when i was pregnant, i couldnt see to shave and waxing would hurt WAY too difficult to get in all those positions. who cares, its not like obgyns aren't looking at assorted cooches all day; hairy and hairless.

themontmorency

]]> <![CDATA[]]> My stepmom always went into this obsessive frenzy as she approached her due date. She just HAD to shave her legs and pits every night for fear of being seen to have body hair while in the hospital after giving birth (this was in the late 80s, so people had not yet gotten obsessed about pubic hair). Not an easy thing to do when you're 39 weeks pregnant, btw.

I always thought it was ridiculous and tried to reassure her that absolutely no one would give a damn about the state of her armpit/leg hair while she was in labor. I hope I'm not worried about that when I have kids.

BeckySharper

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I'd consider myself prepared if I remembered to bring my toothbrush.

Tacoma

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Catherina Zeta Bologna Jones had a mani/pedi hours before her schedule C-section in her Cedars-Senai suite.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]>