<![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I don't know how I feel about this. One part of me says if you like fucking then fuck but when a woman or MAN for that matter has sex with a different person every night I often think to myself why are they doing this maybe they do have some deep seated issues. I know we all do, but maybe their's is really deep, maybe it is not. I am not a psychologist so I can't say. What is funny is when people flip the script on girls. If a girl of 13 was having sex with men and boys and racking up numbers in the 100s people would jump on the she was sexually abused train instead of saying maybe she is just enjoying her sexuality.
However, I don't like it when women say "well men can do it and not be judged so why can't I do it and not be judged." Maybe 500 years from now but this is 2008. To me it seems like they are only being promiscuous to prove a point not because they actually find it fulfilling. SM I was surprised when I read your post because if you own your sexuality then why did you feel the need to address the "haters" there always going to be there, it came off as if you were trying to reassure yourself? Did you recently get a sex change and realize that being a woman comes with many double standards? Like they say if you can take the heat get out the kitchen and I don't think you'd be willing to get a sex change.
Anyway, I recently started reading your blog and I find it interesting because I think we share similar thoughts on sexuality not exact thoughts but similar.

sailormoon

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Your TMIness makes me so happy!

ClaCla

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Bedroom Pirate

You are a simple child huh? Dancing, fucking, same thing. Um yeah. Oooook. And no, my statement "If you don't like the feedback then stop writing. Simple as that" is not defeatist, if you are a true artist, embrace the critisism and let it mke you stronger, but then again you wouldn't understand that sort of thing.

whatyousaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @LucyRed: It's definitely mine. And I'm a total dork (hey, I'm 20) and have already quoted you, SM, on facebook. Yes, you have garnered facebook love.

treschic

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @whatyousaid:

On the whole your comment irks me as at the end of the day sex is just an activity that you do with another person. Obviously for some there is an emotional element but there doesn't have to be. If someone wanted to go dancing with three different people a week would you say they have some deep seeded psychological problem? Maybe they just like dancing. Maybe SM just likes sex. Of course sex is far more intimate but it's only as intimate as you allow it to be and it's all tied in with your particular view of sex. For some it's this deeply personal act whereas for others it's just a way to get off and have some fun.
Also, "If you don't like the feedback then stop writing. Simple as that." <-- That is so defeatist and said that I can't even begin.


Bedroom Pirate

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Your posts on Jezebel and on your own blog are the main reason I signed up for an RSS reader because I don't want to miss a thing. (Insert cheese Aerosmith here)

Seriously, the double standard is completely unfair and I think it's great that you stand up for yourself as many others wouldn't.
I love your blog, your brutal honesty is refreshing and it's just sad you have to take so much abuse for it.


Bedroom Pirate

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I love you. Seriously :)

musicgirl1008

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I spent a couple of years working for my university newspaper; we ran a weekly column, 'Sex Geeks', in which staffers explored everything sex, wacky or weird, protected under pseudonyms. When a women's rights group took offense to an article deemed sexist (ironically written by a pro-feminist, whose only error was employing he/she pronouns as they applied to his specific heterosexual POV), the use of pseudonyms was banned to make writers feel more accountable. After years of being open about my sexperiences (a comfortable attitude which helped me avoid girl-on-girl hate), I got sick of being judged by those who never took the time to know me - because if they did, they would have nothing to say that I hadn't already put out there. I was approached by my former EIC at the paper and asked to contribute a weekly column, so I launched my one-woman version of Sex Geeks, unprotected by anonymity. I couldn't get as riske as I would have liked, mostly because my bosses and professors frequently complimented my "sex column" and I wanted to maintain respectable academic and professional relationships. However, I put myself out there in the hopes of showing how much fun an open approach to sex can be - and I have never felt so free. Go ahead and call me a slut - everyone else is calling me the Carrie Bradshaw of our school.

10ischic

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I respect your choice and your view.

For me, however, empowerment and "owning my sexuality" came with the realization that I just plain didn't like sex outside of a relationship, with a partner committed to making me happy in a lot of different ways - sexually among them.

I need trust and security to relax and really get my kink on. Guarded sex with people I don't know very well seems to do waaay more for them than me and leaves me feeling used.

In fact, i wasted a lot of years trying to 'cure' myself of that feeling, by trying to conform to 'the other conformity's' idea of what a sexually empowered women was like.

I don't think anything anyone has the right to belie you, Slut Machine, or call you names.

BUT... while your way is your own, it's not the only one.

thenewmasses

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Comment on The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing wait. why do you call yourself 'slut machine' if you do not identify as a slut and dislike it when readers proclaim that you are a slut? does it not encourage readers to think of you, and other women who enjoy casual sex, as sluts rather than sexual, free spirited, etc beings? just wondering how you justify it..

SudiptiNinja

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @whatyousaid: That could be because it is a forum of people who read Jezebel, therefore making it more likely that they actually like her writing. So it's definitely preaching to the choir.

As a teenager myself (though now the incredibly more mature 18) I think that adult squeamishness about kids learning about sex in an honest manner a bit puzzling. I am a virgin who has never smoked a cigarette, done any mood-altering drugs and drinks very rarely, yet I still love to read Slut Machine's frank explanations about sex. We an have friends that are different from us; in the same way, we can read about stuff that is not immediately pertinent to ourselves without becoming it. Also, it is nearly impossible to block what a teenager wants to see online, even by parents (as long as they have a computer or the internet). A stupid teenager is a stupid teenager is a stupid teenager; there is nothing jezebel can do that it's not already doing that can change that. If all that someone got out of what they read "sex is kewl!! Slut Machine says so!" they have more issues than can be fixed by a more circuitous route to such sex information (of a non-clinical kind).

CrabbyPants

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I will say this, however, in all seriousness. We must admit that there IS a difference between ladies who say "Whatevs! I like sex! I don't care what anyone thinks!" and MEAN it, and those ladies who say the same, but really are adopting that image to cover up for mad insecurites. And the second they sleep with a guy who wants to be their bf, they take it and quit their Who Cares, I Love Sex ways. I know plenty of girls who use that as excuse for raging insecurities and issues galore.

I've never had a problem with sex for fun. My roommate, on the other hand, totally claims to be down, but then ends up crying every weekend after she her latest fling doesn't end up interested. I say you're gonna do it, own that shit, and really mean it. There's no crying in baseball.

BlowJoy

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Bitch, I wish you woooouuuullld burn my mothertruckin clothes REAL TALK.

SM, haters gonna hate. Ballers gonna ball. Keep it up.

BlowJoy

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I don't relate to what you write about much, but I still find your point of view interesting and relevant. Isn't that what feminism is all about? Or should be?

sadiehawkins

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II:
I think the point of her being a writer and the point of her being outraged and upset is because she is allowed to have her opinions. It is her opinion that nothing like this would happen to her if she were a man. She's fucking entitled to an opinion without jackasses coming in and hating her for speaking her mind.

(end rant)


Leigh81387

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: I can't remember if anyone ever welcomed me. But people have responded to my comments, so does that mean I'm in the clear?

Leigh81387

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @ineffable.me:
Tasting mashed potatoes doesn't make you like mashed potatoes; you had to be predisposed to liking mashed potatoes to like them when you tasted them. Likewise, you were going to hate apples before you tasted apples.

Just like tasting foods, when we meet people, they may strike a chord with us (we were predisposed to like their personality). The same goes for their blogs: one person may prefer (and want to emulate) a conservative Christian's blog about their quest for higher spirituatlity. Another person may prefer a blog about an adventurous woman who discusses her sex life.

missfifi42

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> You protest too much. You get way more compliments than insults. All these bitches on here are on your jock, I hardly see a negative comment. There is a double standard about sexuality, but not as much as you would think, I think that men who sleep with tons and tons of women are slightly defective too, I think that most intelligent people would agree with the fact that being extremely promiscuous is definitely some sort of deep seated psychological issue whether the subject is male or female. You can disagree all you want but I know you have some issues (who doesn't). If you don't like the feedback then stop writing. Simple as that.

whatyousaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II:
Yes the statement in question was wide reaching and overly simplistic. I'm not sure what type of hate mail a male sex columnist would receive. A gay male sex columnist probably sees his fair share of homophobic vitriol, and a black male sex columnist would probably be exposed to racist epithets and n-word usage. The problem is that these are all minority groups who are marginalized because they are not the "norm" (norm being white, straight and male.) It is all too easy to discount their opinions and feelings because there are litanies of hurtful words and sentiments that can be used to degrade and de-humanize these people. Many women have this issue making blanket statements because they have been exposed too frequently and too easily to such marginalization. This is why you tend to see the stereo-types in each group. The "angry black man" the "man hating feminist" and the "in your face queer" when pushed to the limits sometimes the only way to protect yourself is to take on the very definition that is expected of you. I understand your comment and I appreciate your point of view, I hadn't commented on this issue until now but I felt it needed to be said.


Boredinacubicle

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I LOVE reading your work and find a lot of what you write to be informative and entertaining. Who cares what the haters think? They are projecting and being judgmental when you're just being an honest you. And we LOVES ya, SM! Keep up the GREAT work, write about what you know and live the life that makes you happy.

frantastic

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> It isn't easy being an innovator, but don't let 'em get you down.

What was it you once quoted? "At least now if I make the wrong decision, I made it for the right reasons."

chxation

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Save these comments for the next time you get down by the douchbags. I think you are awesome too. I wish I were more like you, but I am a prude.

As far as the teen readers go, I think we need to give them more credit. I have often wished the internet existed when I was younger. I think I would have gotten over some of my insecurities and other issues earlier if I'd have had some forums to read and talk about sex and relationships.

raoul j raoul

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Another straight guy here, I read your stuff all the time and wish more women were able to be as open and honest as you are. You've opened my eyes to alot of the douchebaggery and double standards that plague my gender. The fact that you receive this much self-righteous criticism says to me you are probably on the right track. Stay strong.

emptee_head

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @nicoledapostrophe: She's not bashing "being called a slut," she's criticizing the disparaging way others speak about her vagina in order to attack her when they would never say the equivalent to a man about his penis. She responds and says as much somewhere in the comments.

Marscinema

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I won't judge you, SM. except maybe when you confessed that you don't always tell the guys you fuck that you have herpes.

wring

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I agree with you 100% (really) on this piece, and I definitely think it needed to be written. But what bothers me is that you present an oxymoron here. You say this:

"I'm pissed because people so frequently try to take women down a peg by attacking their sexuality, automatically throwing out names like "whore" and "slut." "

...Which I agree with you on completely.

However, at the end of your piece, you say this:

"And I'm probably preaching to the choir here, since this isn't a common problem I encounter on Jezebel (which actually proves my point that I'm not the only unabashed slut out there)."

...Which is also true.

But then, in fact, your nickname is "Slut Machine."

I stand by my original statement that I really like this piece, and I'm genuinely glad you wrote it, but you are bashing something (being called a slut) and then giving into it too (by saying that you aren't the only slut out there)...and I find myself a little confused. I don't mean to criticize, but the mixed message leaves me feeling thrown off. I think that if you don't want to be called a slut, don't call yourself one first? Perhaps it's a defense mechanism? Maybe I'm completely wrong?

(I'm concerned that this is probably going to get me banned from commenting in the future, but I'm trying to be cordial and honest as possible.)

nicoledapostrophe

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> oh, HELL YES. tracie, you rock my world, even though i can't read your personal blog at work. don't take no shit from people hiding behind screen names on the internet. you're too cool for school.

onesong

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> You are me if I only had the NERVE to write about it, DON'T YOU DARE STOP!!!

angryblackgurl

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> SM I know I am late in commenting, BUT you are brave and real. You own your sexuality and you don't use it like some kind of shiny accessory to attract men, it isn't put on, it is real and womanly. Anyone, especially other women, who try to stone you are simply threatend by your honest sober (although not always...)discussion of your self-exploration. Honesty + sexuality + ownership -shame = POWER. Rock on sista, rock on!

blackhoneybrown

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I'm such a loser, when I read the headline, I thought this article was going to be about Carrie Bradshaw.

Slut machine ... you are a great writer. I totally enjoy all your artlicles. I would love to meet these people that have insulted you. Can you imagine. *bitch altert* they are probably really ugly and can't get laid.

BondGirl

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> damn, there are a lot of comments up in here about this - i will add to the chorus of people who enjoy SM's writing and like what she does. however, i agree with nellicat and other people's assessments. the double standard sucks and is very real and should be done away with, but we are dealing with centuries of male-dominated societies...change doesn't happen overnight. if you're expecting the overnight change, expect to be disappointed.

that said, i'm also curious as to where the 'right' to judge someone has come from. it's not like judging is mandated by law - it happens! it's human nature! if you put yourself out there, expect to be judged on it regardless of your context or intention or purpose.

having said that, i'm glad that SM puts it out there. ignore the haters and do your thing. the change begins one step at a time. kudos to you for taking the leaps...and the lumps that come with it.

rednrowdy

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Keep the honesty coming! I don't get enough of it in my owm life.

AnnaXC09

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Too late to the party to count, but I want to say I love you SM. I support you and keep on doing what you're doing. For every person who thinks you're, whatever they think, there are hundreds more girls who need to hear about sex in an honest way so they don't get screwed over as an adult. This abstinance education is BS and I applaud you.
And hey, we're just the girls that own up to liking sex. I think that isn't self degrading or low self esteem at all. You own it. Sex is awesome. Unless it isn't and then usually it is funny.
For every hater out there, you have thousands more lovers.



Muffyn

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I know I am coming really late to this one, but I thought more words of support couldn't hurt!
As for the whole teen thing, I know as a young teen I was called a "slut" at school regularly, and any sex bloggers I found on the internet were very male-centred and didn't really talk about anything useful. Some people may find it uncomfortable to think that teens read what you are writing, but I think we were exposed to much less honest and more harmful things. Teens deserve honest discussion about sex and I think they can handle it.

nats

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: Oh Mrs. Carey Cannon. How sweet! You look very pretty on the cover of People Magazine this week.

My last thought on this topic re: so-called sluttiness and feminism. I think it was SinRoo who said earlier in this post that being promiscuous does not necessarily mean you're a feminist (something SM came back and addressed but I think she missed the point.) But SinRoo is so right.

Some of the biggest "sluts" I knew were also the biggest women-haters. They used their sexuality and promiscuity to compete with other women. SM does not strike me that way at all -- she just loves sex and feels no shame about it, and good for her. But there are a lot of women-hating women out there sleeping around for very different reasons, many of which involved competing with their imagined rivals.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I came to Jezebel because of your frank, unabashed sex talk (as well as pot psychology), and as a chronic lurker, this is the first post I've felt the need to comment on. SM, you speak for all the female casual sex lovers out there, and I Stan for you.

Nessia

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> SM, like some have already stated, you are the reason why I fell in love with Jezebel. As a socially-anxious-prude having a forum on which to discuss all things related to female sexuality has been a godsend. Being able to read your experiences as well as everyone else's experiences and comments on various interesting topics has been eyeopening, gratifying and educational for me. For that I am ever thankful. Thank you!

As for the teenager ordeal, I don't really get the point of adding a "mature content" warning, considering that Fleshbot is only a click away with easy access to all sorts of porn (I love Fleshbot btw). Yes it can be a little weird sharing the same space with a teenager, but I would rather people have a healthy view of sex than a skewed view of how things are done. Ultimately, it's up to the parents to monitor what their kids do online. If they are okay with their kids reading Jezebel, there really isn't much you can do about it. Also considering the whole anonymity that the internet provides, how can you tell that who the teenagers are?

arita

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> God, if I have to read one more post that says anything about "owning your sexuality" or "owning the word slut"...

squeakel

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> AND I totally forgot to mention that you are freaking gorgeous and have awesome style, so I haven't a clue what the haters could hate on!

Except possibly that they hate themselves and project it onto others. I'm sure that's it.

echosdream

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> This is totally cheesy, but whatevs--it's TRUE:

Keep writing what you write. It's pretty much never TMI; TMI is what we EXPECT, honestly.

Don't ever surrender or back down, because believe it or not, seeing (er..reading) you own and not shy away from your love of sex for sex's sake or talk about the TMI bits has really actually helped me feel more empowered about wanting and getting the same, and diminished my own initial discomfort with promiscuity.

Your writing has helped me destroy that double-standard stigma that society attaches to this urge as a woman, and, well... basically I feel stronger and more whole for it.

So, thank you. :)

echosdream

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> oh slut machine... every sentence just made me love you more. honestly, you fill a very very important void in my life because not everyone is lucky enough to have a real-life sex-loving feminist friend who doesn't hold back when it comes to discussing sex.

stabbycat

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Slut Machine, you are so awesome.

"I hate when people say that I fuck so much because I have a low self-esteem, or that I'm lonely, or that I just want attention"

A-MEN!

I also hate it when people say that a woman must be having a lot of sex because she was molested. Like, something traumatic and horrifying must have happened to her in her youth to make her *GASP* like sex. Because women liking sex? Phhh...NOT NORMAL! (sarcasm)

Jadoremonchat

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I used to be a bit of a slut for a while - basically all through high school and well into my early 20s.

Then, a few years ago, it stopped being fun. I started to get pretty insecure about it all and attaching more emotion to sex than I used to. So, I stopped having casual sex. Because, you know, the whole point was that I was out to enjoy myself.

Now I'm finding that the men I meet, upon learning about my past, seem to think that's all there is to me and it's incredibly frustrating. I don't understand why I can't just be a nice girl who happens to enjoy sex - and happened to enjoy it frequently for a while in my past. In other words, there is more to me (and all of us, really) than my vagina. How many people I choose to sleep with or chose to sleep with has no bearing on me as a person.

It's frustrating because I get that from men now because I don't denounce my past. I don't say "Oh, I was so troubled back then blablabla." It's as if there's no way I could have spent some time exploring my body and my sexuality while still becoming a reasonable human being in the process.

Anyway, I heart you and I don't think you should have to deal with t his bullshit for a second. /rant

meli

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Oh I'm late, really late, but I'm still going to have a bit of a say.
I've been working in and around the sex writing biz (and yes, it is absolutely a biz) for years now, and seeing many women write frankly about sex and then get both plaudits and brickbats for it.

My issue is this. Where are the truly sex and women positive male writers? Yes, Dan Savage and so on, but I mean ones who are writing autobiographically about their own sex lives?
The only thing that scares me about promiscuity and sleeping with everyone you want to, is how it's viewed by the other partners in the equation. Do those teenage boys think it's all cool and stay respectful? Or are they bandying around words like "slag" and acting like they scored a point against a girl by getting her to sleep with them?

I know a lot of guys love reading bloggers like SM and Girl with a One Track Mind and get a great message from them, but where are the male role models? Where's the mainstream counterbalance to GGW?

Oh and the STD thing bothers me too. If you're going to own your sexuality, own it all the way.

bowleserised

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Props, Tracie.

KarenWalker

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Yo SM-
It's true, life out there is tough for a single girl. Especially those that like sex and aren't afraid to talk about it. That's why we should stick together, but we don't. We bitch, as you mention, we vocalize, sometimes in harmony, sometimes not. Thanks for putting it all out there for the rest of us. Can I send you my versions of pot psychology?

peacelovecookies

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> You're my hero. That is all.

Satisfaction

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Archetype: I actually chuckled - no, I most definitely do not have children - I can't even commit to watering a plant let alone raising a human. While I am quite empathetic (and quite appreciative) towards parents trying desperately not to raise mouthy little deviants - I still refuse to buy the argument that I must be mindful that junior may be reading this and as such, I should refrain from sharing potentially questionable thoughts and opinions. This whole "it takes a village" mentality on parenting is really foreign to me.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Trixie from Toronto: While I personally agree that SM's decision to refrain from informing partners of the whole herp sitch was irresponsible - I take the opposite stand regarding her positing it and think that her candidness was courageous and refreshing.

The "hater" comments were actually directed to those who flat out insulted her NOT to those who merely disagree.

And as far as the "mean girl" bs - that was directed towards BAngieB and the seniority nonsense - which, hopefully is squashed.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Thank you, SM. I've really enjoyed your writing so frankly about sex and particularly about the less sexy aspects of sex. I was 17 and had just become sexually active when Jezebel started. I really appreciated knowing that yeah, weird gross stuff happens and that's okay. Ignore the haters. They're misogynistic douchebags and they wish they had your experience.

To all of you who think that Jezebel should be 18+: I've been reading this stuff since I was a minor. I'm OCD about protection and I will never do coke.

lynxwings

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: I agree with everything you say up until the last bit. People like Skinny can read and enjoy these posts and contribute to this site, but she may not want her daughter to read certain things. Right there, you have a parent who monitors her child, but also takes a bit of an issue with CERTAIN aspects of what the editors put out to such a wide audience.

There is asking to censor, and there is asking for awareness that, yes, indeed, a huge variety of people read this site.

Do you have kids? I don't. I can't imagine parenting.....god, what a task. But I can certainly appreciate people feeling uncomfortable with misinformation being put out. That said, I DO disagree with their saying that's what has happened in the past.

No, censorship is never the answer. I don't think that anyone on this site would disagree with that assertion.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: After midnight for me too.
It is one of my pet-peeves, the misuse of those words in that phrase.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Trixie from Toronto: I know and I KNOW.
Sometimes there is a real divide on Jez though- an argument I do not want to rehash.
In other news, let me just say, I was/am thrilled to witness your return to Jez. I look for your avatar- as I know I will always want to read your comments.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II: I am going to assume you are a man. Did you read SM's response? Concerning mail about how her pussy must smell because she has a lot of sex? Yeah, people don't say that to men, as she pointed out. You really don't need too many concrete examples, live a few days as a woman. Have casual sex a few times as a woman.

In your comment and the gawker thread there are a lot of sweeping generalizations made about Jezebel and the commenters here that I just don't see as true on a regular basis. We typically don't hate on men, we hate on certain men -- crap email men (which is not a super serious feature), rapists, outspoken mysoginists. Recognizing and calling out misogyny =/= reverse sexism, sorry.

rocknrollunicorn

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: it's after midnight EST so my typos are bound to increase as this progresses

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I think you're wonderful and so unique for writing about sex in an honest and intelligent way. Unfortunately there's a need for more women to admit they enjoy having sex just for the fun of it. I find it anything from creepy to sad that women are expected to not enjoy sex, to use it as a bargaining tool or something.

ChokingOnWhys

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: That should say "I wasn't trying to start anything."

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Archetype: I understand and am up to engage in the inevitable throw downs. Perhaps I did let my temper get the best of me - however - I fail to see how "saving the children" is any of our concern. I am a firm believer that censorship is never the answer and honestly find it disheartening that so many of you do. Whatever happened to active and responsible parenting? Why should SM have to think twice about writing about certain topics? If certain commenters take such offense to her thoughts and think that she (and those that agree with her) are so detrimental to society at large and pose such a threat to the integrity of our teenaged youth - then why do they continue to read her entries? I don't understand hypocritical behavior.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: That was not a jab at you. I responded to you. Then I responded to Holene.
I am just saying that it is very tiring when people throw around "mean girls" whenever one of us (all inclusive us) says something they don't like. We can argue all day long, and then tomorrow is a new day. I don't hold on to every little thing that is said during the day. But, you know, it's really kind of crappy when new Jezebels join and jump in and start insulting us or telling us we need to change something, then when we respond we are labeled "mean girls". It's hypocritical.
Some of my favorite people have been around only a couple of months, one has only been here for one month.
So again, whatever grudge you are holding against me for some perceived wrong about the "jezeteen" comment is ridiculous. I was honestly welcoming you, and the "jezeteen" remark was meant to be serious, but also funny. If you had actually read Jezebel for a long time before joining us, I'm surprised you didn't get it.
I'm gonna drop outta here cause I honestly am not trying to argue, and the only reason I responded to you in the first place was to let you know that my comment to you was not meant as a slam, I was trying to start anything.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: Sure, I am not talking about the idiots who would come on here and start calling people sluts, whores and telling dissenters they just need to get laid. That's a whole different kettle of fish (says the commenter who called people "humourless shrews" the other day, ooops! I was spanked and I deserved that whupping!)

My problem is being branded haters, Mean Girls, misognynists, clique-ists, what have you, for things like disagreeing with other women, for arguing with other women, or, the weirdest of all, for having friendships with other women. I hate that shit. Some of these bitches helped save my life in the past year. I won't be shamed for that, and I hate to see other women in here being shamed for it, or for disagreeing with the sentiments of either blogger or commenter.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: Grammar poleese here: You COULDN'T care less.
Could care less indicates that in fact, you do actually care.
You can't call anything if you cannot say it clearly.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Unless they are actually being haters- which is another issue entirely.
but I think you are right, Holene's knee-jerk response was shallow and not thought out. And frankly a lousy argume.

@GoodMorningAngels: Tracie is sort of embracing the role that all women should have based on the ideals of the feminists of yore- freedom to express one's self emotionally, spiritually and sexually WITHOUT judgement based upon gender. We give men these rights/freedoms all the time.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I haven't read the comments, but as a thanks to SM for her writing here and over on OneD where we first met, I'd just like to start a...

slow. clap.

Political Party Girl

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: Yeah, I mean honestly I was just reading this other article criticizing the many partners=emotional problem assumption, and I actually had a hard time buying it, just because I'd been so thoroughly indoctrinated with the idea growing up. But Tracie's totally right that it's just part and parcel of the regulation of women's sexuality.

And I definitely agree that it is so sad to think how much my behavior has been affected by that--I mean, I don't regret my choices, but it is noticeably a relief to think, "Hey, maybe I wouldn't be either totally damaging myself or proving that I'm already damaged if I sleep with a few more people??" I REALLY think Tracie is doing a public service.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> preach on sistah slut machine!

mgarcia20

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: I don't think it's hating for some people to express concerns about teens reading SM's stuff or to suggest the post about not confessing to sexual partners that she had herpes was irresponsible.

I am not saying I have an opinion on either of those matters one way or another. I had been reading One D at a Time for a long time before SM moved over to Jezebel and I thought she was brave and hilarious and had a very unique writing voice.

But you can take issue with her without being branded a "hater." Personally, I find women who brand other women "mean girls" and "haters" to be just as sexist as anyone else -- it is a pet peeve of mine. They are accusations meant to shame us. Women should be allowed to disagree fundamentally with one another without being shamed for it, being called haters, misogynists, prudes, bitches, whatever. That's a big part of feminism too. We women really need to learn how to argue with one another.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: I take it that last was again meant for me.

I'd put it this way: I think it's progressive/feminist/enlightened to be working for a more inclusive, egalitarian atmosphere rather than a hierarchical, exclusive one. And I think Jezebel has some ways to go on that front.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II: I like your comment.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: Naw, there's disagreeing and there's disagreeing by tossing insults. I don't agree with some of the comments on this thread but I'm not about to call anyone pathetic or spiteful.

I mean, do you say that sort of thing when you have a discussion with someone face to face?

I think that's the integrity some people are trying to grasp hold of on these threads.

Sure, people get frustrated and name call, but it's usually hashed out.

I suppose what I am saying is, by all means, call it like you see it. Just expect some throw down as a result.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: I just thought it was kinda ugly for you to say "suck it" and "get over it". A lot of the people who voiced those concerns are sincere.

And this "mean girls" shit is getting really old.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Aren't blanket statements what blogs are about? Anyway, your Dan Savage comment is interesting... he probably gets a lot of shit flung his way for all I know. Probably a lot of it is homophobic and not "sex-positive." She's decrying a specific form of haters, sexist misogynist haters, of which there are many, and when she says she's not gonna take any shit anymore, it's totally brave in my opinion!

CarolKat

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: I repeat: if you have an issue with someone, state your business. I am not saying just accept what people say. I am, however, saying that pulling rank is kind of crap, and fails to engage the real issues.

Also: with every time you claim you want this to be done...you still go for one more jab (this time, saying I'm attacking you). I'm not the only one continuing this.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: unfortunately, I think most of us buy into it more than we realize. I sometimes hear myself speak/think a judgment on someone- based on my perceived notions of their sex life- Ie: hoor, slut. promiscuous- and the back of my mind says- OH JEEBUS MARIAH- what are you? the pope-elect?
it saddens me how easily we all slip into these easy and available notions.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: Funny thing is - my rage was not aimed towards you at all. While you may disagree with SM and her writing - you don't attack her. Not sure why you decided to pull some bizarre "mean girls" seniority card - but - eh, whatever.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I just read through all the comments while taking a break from paper writing and WHEW. I really respect what you do, SM, and I hate that people are giving you shit for it. I am a painfully prudish, guilt-ridden 21 year old virgin, and reading about your "owning your sexuality" as I think missgolightly said makes me feel like one day, I could too. I've only been on jezebel for a few months now, but already I feel like a smarter, more aware woman. So thanks, and keep doing what you do.

magiciannamedgob

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: I don't understand why you are continuing to attack me. I have done nothing to you.
And Holene DID attack us and I would have said something to her regardless of how long she has been here.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @RyanB: Maxim and FHM and the "lad mag" bunch don't write sex. They write about girls in a fratty way that's not really for adults. People like SM and the assorted online clique write about straight up sex. Not a fair comparison.

@BritneyCanadaWhore: @onthecornerofparkerandwoolf: @ZippyTortoise:
Dan Savage writes about sex, but he does not write about HIS sex explicity. He just writes explicitly about the topic of sex. Richard Burnett is basically Dan Savage, but from Montreal. My point is this: Tracie came up with the following:

"You write about sex and personal issues. You have to accept that people will sling insults." Fuck. That. Shit. I don't have to accept it. I refuse to accept it. Mostly because I know that this wouldn't happen if I were a man.

But she never really proves that anywhere! It's just an assumption she makes based on how she "feels" about the world in general. If you want to know why long time "haters" like me (hater apparently being the word for a faithful and constant reader who actually dares to challenge the mould here) get down on the Jez so much it is because of comments like that. It's just a blanket statement that the world hates women. It's not dealing with an issue, it's not investigating. It's not even ASKING people like Dan Savage what sort of hate mail they get.

The world. Hates. Women. Period. Tracie gets hate mail, Tracie is a woman, therefore the incorrect syllogism is made that Tracie gets hate mail BECAUSE she is a woman. It's just pandering to the audience. So many times on this site you get flippant comments that are basically female sexism against men. Or equally flippant comments bombarding women with the idea that they are constant victims in a war against their gender. Is that what feminism is striving for now? Equal right to hate the other sex?

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: Sorry - but, I really could care less if I've offended those that started this whole mess. I call it like I see it.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @MariahCareyCannon: Totally same here. You really got through to me when you pointed out how anxious people get when women have sex freely outside of the two well-'regulated' institutions for it: monogamous relationships and prostitution. I'm definitely questioning how much I bought into some of those assumptions, in my own choices--and I am REALLY glad to be doing so. Thanks so much Tracie.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Let's see...sex talk from Tracie or Cosmo?

What we need is more candor regarding sex, in all its aspects.

I write romance novels, and any woman who openly discusses sex is either poo'ed as trivial, or scandalized.

Fuck 'em.

Mama Kinn

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: Seriously, and you think you don't use claims of "seniority" to hate on people?? Seriously??

All I'm saying is: if you have a problem with someone, state your business. Don't pull some cliquey, "It's my clubhouse so I can tell you want to do" BS. It lowers the level of debate.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: Quota or quality?
I think you fail on quality.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Slut Machine: I always admire your willingness to be honest and open, as well as your ability to appreciate sex and your own sexuality on a more free-thinking level. I am often (read that as always) encumbered by my morals - which in truth, when I say morals, I really mean the rules and regulations that I have been taught - regarding my femininity and sexuality by society.
Keep on trucking, Tracie.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Slut Machine: How about this for absolution: Your post inspired/empowered me to go get tested... and get over my fears/experiences of medical professionals judging me. Your honesty has inspired me to take responsibility.

CarolKat

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Also, what the hell is wrong with wanting to have a similar sex life to Slut Machine's? Why should teenage girls be "protected" of that idea? Are girls supposed to be afraid of sex for their own pleasure?

Sex ed isn't really Slut Machine's job, and the porn most teenage boys watch on the internet doesn't seem to have educational scenes with the actors putting on condoms, either.

I love her honesty and how she acknowledges that girls also have some pretty icky stuff going on in their bodies. I think the whole societal expectation for me to be a flawless, clean princess is far more damaging than anything SM could ever write.

Beebs

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> You are my hero! And the hero of many! Fuck the haters!!!! It sucks you have to be a target but yes, don't take any shit. For every insecure asshole who projects their issues onto you, there is someone who absolutely worships you and for which you are a unique, singular, empowered voice... Don't ever stop!

CarolKat

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Been a fan for a very long time - just never really got into the whole commenting thing (other than asking for tips on SM's amazing eyeliner talents. But after reading the nonsense that is being posted on here and on gawker - I figured why not.

Though I think it's pretty entertaining that I didn't meet your quota for comments...thanks for the laugh

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Tucker Max?

Beebs

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Holene: How charming you are to come here and insult us in your second comment on Jezebel.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> SM, I am really sorry that you feel so crappy.

It's a tough thing. You know that along with admiration for your writing, you're going to get scorn also. This is going to happen again, and again, even if you do express anger about it.

You may feel like the benefits of doing what you're doing outweigh the drawbacks (of putting up with douchebaggery.)

If you can start feeling more and more like, I don't give a crap what anybody says, then it won't be so hurtful.

But maybe a person loses something by becoming that tough. I don't know.

I've written autobiographically and explicitly about sex in the past. After a while I felt like it was limiting me...like I had to have this singular, sexual persona, because that was what was expected of me. I don't know if you'll feel that; maybe it was just me.

ramblinrosie

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Man I'd fuck so many more people if I had the gumption. People like you are HEROS!

slightlyflawed

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Ive been skimming through the comments section - alternating between grinning at how much well deserved love SM is getting and grinding my molars down to the gum over how self-righteous and pathetic some of you so called jezebels are. Enough with the spiteful bullshit.

SM is a brilliant, witty, painfully honest sexual being who thankfully has the balls to share her thoughts, experiences and practical advice with us all. She talks about sex openly and honestly - how is this possibly a bad thing? Where is all this hate coming from???

Here's my advice - and I'm not even gonna charge you for it - If you don't like what she has to say - don't read the damn column. Simple as that. You're fully capable of minimizing the screen and walking away if you find what she has to say so morally reprehensible. Don't try and tear a strong woman apart because I'll be damned (as well as a SLEW of SM fans)if you ever dare try and stifle one of the few true voices out there.

For those of you who are so very concerned about young, impressionable, delicate readers - get over yourselves.
SM is a WRITER...an artist whose chosen medium happens to be the internet. She has every right to print whatever the hell she wants. If this site is inappropriate for teenagers, tweens etc - then it is up their PARENTS to monitor their internet usage. They chose to have children, to educate them
in the manner they see fit and to allow them access to information they deem appropriate. It is absolutely NOT your job to try and police the content of what SM chooses to share.

I for one am grateful that we have a writer who really does tell it like it is - that sex is messy and funny and beautiful and dangerous and fun all at the same time. And for that - I thank her.

All of the haters that keep on attacking her are truly frightening misogynists. Suck it.

Holene

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Archetype: I hit submit too early but I do really appreciate the support because as so many people mentioned in this thread Jezebel in some ways is so awesome because I feel like I found my people..loud-mouth feminist women who also watch America's Next Top Model. You women (including SM) are awesome to connect with, which can be hard to do in the real world. So it does suck when you feel like you are offending people. But it's worth it to me to have disagreements to have real conversations.

OK, now I am heading into the "I love you, man" drunk talk without even drinking.

unionmaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Archetype: Thanks..I'll get back to my big mouth self in a less emotional thread.

unionmaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @freedc: Awww, my puppies think the same thing. They're both in training right now (separate classes) and they're each the naughtiest and cutest ones in class.

Back on track (sort of), I didn't think you were saying I was saying that. (?) I'm a relative newbie-ish, and I know how it feels, but sometimes people just need to zip it and let the flames subside.

amandahugnkiss

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Right on, Slut Machine. You speak the truth. I loved your other site and that's how I got here. Your unabashed honesty is refreshing, and extends a big middle finger at the double standard. If you were a man, you'd be a stud, but since you're a woman, you're a slut. I like how you just embrace it and own it. To hell with them.

tundrababe

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Lola has a catch-all remedy you might want to try ;-)

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: No worries, yo. :)

Cam/ron

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Tracie, I think your writing and your honesty are GREAT! And your screen grabs are awesomeness.

It's nice to know that there are other women who can comfortably discuss their sex lives (as long as they want to.)

Keep up the great work!

Kittenish

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> My head hurts.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Brazzlefrat: Great input :-)

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @unionmaid: Don't. Don't do that! You're obviously not an ass, you just speak your mind.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: I think we are in agreement that it's more about parental control than the editor's job. Cool...thanks for clarifying...

(I am paranoid about being flamed or attacked and have gone into super polite mode and a crouching posture)

unionmaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @zivah: @ineffable.me: First, I'd like to point out that THIS jezeteen (turned 17 yesterday) reads SM's stuff constantly and am probably one of the last virgins in my high school. So I don't really tend to buy into the whole "you are what you read" philosophy. Any teens on this site are probably independent enough thinkers to be able to make up their own minds on what is right for them. At least I hope so.

As for what someone said about jezebel not being the right place for teens...I think it's a a lot better than what's on TV. Tila Tequila has a helluva teen audience, but it's not anywhere as provocative, interesting, and...dare I say it, educational as what any of the ladies here have to say. SM hasn't so much changed my opinions on sex when it comes to condoms and STDs, but rather broadened my acceptance of sex as something that doesn't have to be airbrushed or brushed over.

Brazz

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> whoa! thanks for all the words of support. for real.

@nellicat: it's not just the uninformed psychoanalysis i get. it's insults about shit right down to the odor of my pussy. i don't think people would tell paul janka that his balls must stink so bad by being used up. you know? in face, does anyone ever say that a guy's balls are used up in a negative way the way they do about the genitalia of women who fuck a lot? i don't think so.

@hatepaperdoll: ha! my life's work is done!

@Diablo_Cody: !!!

@biscuitdoughjones: people are so hung up about that herpes post i did. i confessed that IN THE PAST i used to not tell dudes i had herpes because i was afraid to. and i was afraid because people don't talk about it. i got people talking about it. any sins i committed in the past are absolved because of that, i feel. and i think it's silly to think that teens would emulate my behavior. people don't give teenage girls enough credit. sure they don't know it all, but who does? they're capable of independent thought, like all females. teen girls are so much more mature than teen boys, but people feel this need to protect them more. when i was a teenager, i found that insulting. i guess i still do.

@hortense: um, just 'cause i guess. i haven't really put that much thought into it. and if people want some kind of warning about whether or not they're going to be reading sexual material, there it is.

@SinisterRouge: that's silly. how we are perceived by our sexual actions is indeed a feminist issue.

@Skinny Bone Jones: i mean, i see your point or whatever, but i'm not really interested in writing FOR teen girls, although i'm not opposed to them reading what i write. i always include the consequences of my actions. it's not like i talk about how i have unprotected sex and remain std free. i'm not a walking psa. i'll leave that to tyra banks. i'm not about to preach what i don't practice. i'm just writing what i know, and i know me. besides, i'm much more interested in telling it like it is, than telling it like it should be.

Slut Machine

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Ok, yes, about the 14-year-olds, it is and should be a concern. But since what most of them hear most of the time from our culture is that their sexuality is a commodity they don't even own and can't/shouldn't be in control of--because, you know, what it means to be a girl or woman is to do a YouTube striptease to get the BOYS off--I'd rather they at least hear from SM that their sexuality should be about their pleasure; that they should be in charge of it; that it's not about meeting other people's expectations. That's one hell of a long sentence, I know. But it's a hell of a complicated topic.

odelette01

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: I'm not going to argue with you or continue to explain myself. I was being sincere when I welcomed you.

@unionmaid: I don't think we can keep kids from reading us. And I don't think we should change any content. I agree that SM shouldn't answer their sex questions while stoned. And even if those questions aren't really from teenagers, they are still addressed as such. I think parents should try to limit what kids access on line (and it can be done at least at home) and I just want them to go away. I'm not here to talk with them or educate them and I don't want to have to watch what I say "just in case".

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @freedc: Damn, well, next time I suppose!

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I have a lot of respect for you. I have learned a lot about my own body and about sex because of the things you write on Jezebel and on your blog. So, thank you. As cheesy as that is, its so true.

ezzzjay

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Archetype: "I called her a genius. The highest compliment."

BAngieB would probably disagree, she would probably think jezegenius is the highest compliment. :)

freedc

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @amandahugnkiss: Isn't he? :) He's still cute but big now. And he thinks he's too cool and I swear he rolls his eyes at people.

Sorry, i wasn't saying you personally were name calling. I don't mind so much saying someone's idea is stupid, but I hate hearing people called stupid (etc.)

And I totally agree that everyone could use a lesson in not taking the bait. Again, we all do it, where we just fuel the fire, and it's a good lesson to learn that we don't always have to do it. Hell, sometimes you actually piss the person off more by not taking the bait and participating in the fight ;)

freedc

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Slut Machine, you are totally the reason why I read Jezebel and I love love LOVE One D at a Time - you are a great writer and if I lived in New York I would definitley want to hang out with you because you rock. You never shy away from any topic and I don't think you should ever have to apologize or make excuses for your fabulous self - please don't censor yourself (or just your posts) for the haters and/or posers

tamarah

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I found Jezebel thanks to seeing it mentioned on One D and Lifehacker. I was expecting geeky but truly genius and efficient hot coked out sex. Tracie "Slut Machine" Egan you are a treasure and anyone who says otherwise is a damn fool. I haven't got a lance but I'll be one of your champions anyway.

Also I know I say this a lot but I fucking love that teenagers read Jezebel. It would be absolutely 100% inappropriate for Jezebel to censor itself for the childrens, sex content included. There is some stuff you can't discuss with your parents, find on the Internet without encountering porn, or ask your friends about without them deciding you're a huge slut. Is it better to get that discussion from Jezebel or not get it at all? Team honesty over here!

lisas

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @NerD!!!: Te difference, NerD!!!, is that I don't have a sex column, or an advice column. If I did, I'd be talking about safe sex all the time.
xo


katastic

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: I should add, this episode was not at all limited to the comments of one person, which is sort of the point: IMO, it's definitely a group dynamic.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: I promise I am not being sarcstic, I am honestly asking the question of how do you think that you could ensure that kids/teenagers wouldn't come here? I don't know the answer and wouldn't even begin to know but I agree I don't want to talk to teenagers about sex either. But at the same time, I certainly don't want the whole world to be made into a safe for kids zone either. It seems that the default (again I am not saying you or referencing any other posters) wants to make everything safe for kids to the detriment of adult conversation/space.

unionmaid

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> You're awesome for being so open and honest and for providing a forum for 'real talk'

DON'T STOP!!

ChiChiChiChion

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BAngieB: Everyone can judge for themselves whether that was indeed a mocking/dismissive way to address me. As for the idea that "new people don't get treated any differently than anyone else," I've already made my case that we can see in this thread material evidence to the contrary.

And I'm not the only one of this opinion.

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BeAgrestic:

Thanks. Yeah, it's been one of those threads.

@BAngieB: You welcomed me when I was new. I just realized that.

NerD!!!

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @GoodMorningAngels: If you are referring to my comment:
Welcome new commenter. We look forward to getting to know you. But please, please, for the love of God, never use the word "Jezeteen" again.
Whether they are reading us or not, this is not a blog for teenagers.

It was not mocking or insincere at all. I welcomed all new commenters, as I was the welcome wagon.

And I stand by my statement that this is not a blog for teenagers, and, by teenagers, I mean anyone under 18. The content is not appropriate. Adults don't need to be having sexual discussions with any children other than their own. And, to be honest, I'm not here to visit with children.

And I just hate all the "jezebeau" and "jezethis and that", and jezeteen was just the last straw.

And new people don't get treated any differently than anyone else, unless they aren't following the commenter rules.

Such as. NOT for the children.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @freedc: Also, your puppy is adorable.

amandahugnkiss

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @freedc: I called her a genius. The highest compliment.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @freedc: I never called her an idiot, or a moron, or a retarded idiot moron, or any variation thereof.

I wish people could go without personal name calling, too. My point was that if someone makes a comment that other people dogpile on, it's better to walk away and drop it instead of antagonizing the people who are attacking you.

amandahugnkiss

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Oh -- and I just ordered a Magic Wand. DOES THAT MAKE ME A SLUT?

kirability

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> "I know I can tend to be all TMI, but I think that's because I place a lot of emphasis on I, and if people think that's TM, then TS."

Brilliant. I love you SM.

kirability

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I have to admit that Tracie's brutally honest posts are among the ones I look forward to the most on jezebel. I suspect that has something to do with their sincerity and palpable blood and tears. It takes serious balls to be so open and candid about a part of your life (especially for females) that is so taboo. Your posts have encouraged me to explore my sexual self in a more accepting and open way and I sincerely thank you for that as it has been an extremely liberating (and enjoyable!) experience.

publicmarket

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> At the tender age of 22 and recently having to deal with the end of My First Big Real Love and all the good fun that entails, I'm happy to say that both this site and your blog have made me much, much more comfortable with my sexuality and it coudln't have come at a better time.

So thank you, Ms. Tracie SM. You should know how appreciated you really are.

Sparker_Pants

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I mentioned the safe sex thing about 300 posts ago and I'm glad to see others see it as important. In 2008, I don't think we should talk about sex without (often) talking about protection. That goes for the teens and the adults on here.

freedc

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I'm a writer and I would never make my sex life public, and its not because I'm prudish. I just think it's casting pearls before swine.

ramblinrosie

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @amandahugnkiss: "@Lola del Rio: I'm sorry, I guess you're being totally offensive then. And I don't recall saying that you called anyone AN idiot or a moron."

Her point was that she was called an idiot, a moron, a retarded moron, I think.

Hey Jezebels: Can we go one day without personal name calling, even when someone is aggravating you? I don't think so, but it would be a fun game.

freedc

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> First, I don't see how the information teenagers might glean from SM's posts is any more explicit/adult than what they can find on Nerve, Savage Love, Mistress Matisse's blog or any one of a host of long established and widely read sites discussing sex. I don't always agree with SM's decisions (or tongue-in-cheek "advice"), but I don't see it harming the next generation of jezebels. By the time I was considering sex, I was well aware that there was a lot more to bumping uglies (and deciding when to start) than my parents or teachers ever let on. Clearly not everyone waited for marriage, or always wore a condom, or only had sex with people they were in love with- I didn't need a sex writer to tell me that, I figured it out all on my own years before the whole "internet" thing took off. I love SM's pieces, and censorship is never a good solution.

That said? I would love a disclaimer on SM's posts directing teens to a site more suited to their needs (scarleteen perhaps?). It wouldn't stop them from reading Jezebel, but hopefully it would provide them with another source of information.

ClobberGirl

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @rose0red: While I am in complete support of teenagers on Jezebel, I do see your point. I know I wouldn't be the relatively well-adjusted person I am today if my parents hadn't censored the crap out virtually everything I read, watched, or downloaded. However, I was a perfectly content nerd in jean overalls and save the rainforest t-shirts, who never felt objectified and never really worried about body image or the fashion industry or the thousand and one little indignities that are all part and parcel of being a woman.
Thus, I honestly believe that a site like Jezebel can benefit those young girls who are forced by some random chance of genetic happenstance or natural inclination to deal with those issues earlier in life and might not have developed a proper identity and sense of self like SM before diving into the complications of male/female relationships.


PastContinuous

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> Too many comments of support here to read... but I support you too! You're the reason I found Jezebel. You're smart, funny, and confident, and there is no reason you should have to put up with somebody's misogynistic bullshit just because you write for a living.

Also, don't listen to ian spiegelman ever. He'd probably just talk about how he's TOTALLY a better writer than Keith Gessen, anyway.

Roomba

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @NerD!!!: okay, I figured. It's just been one of those days.

BeAgrestic

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @BeAgrestic: of course I am being sarcastic.

NerD!!!

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> I started to write this to SM in an e-mail, but then I realized I'd be perpetuating what she's railing against -- hiding talking about sex in the closet--in so doing. And the hypocrisy shamed me right out of that closet.
SM, love, DON'T FUCKING STOP doing what you're doing. And you shouldn't have to take any shit for it. (And to all the handwringing upthread about "behavior we don't want the young ones emulating", that shouldn't suppress anyone's right to talk about what they've done in the past. If you're leaving the sexual education of the "young ones" to a stranger on the internet, then there is a fucking fundamental problem with the way we treat sex in the educational system in this country. Bring back sex education that actually talks about sex.)

For example, this post about doing it for the first time is what started my girl-crush on you. Partially because it was the only post on the whole damn internet I could find that told me that, YES, what happened when I had sex for the first time was totally normal. Keep on keepin' on, babe.

MsFeasance

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> It's tough -- I really know what you're going through. That crap can really get inside your head, and it can fuck you up good. The BEST and ONLY way to deal with it is find a way to not read it. Seriously -- forward any questionable email to a friend or delete it without reading. Don't seek out opinion about your work on blogs. I know it's annoying, but you have to find ways to shield yourself from constant negative reinforcement. It doesn't matter that you know it's bullshit and that it's more about them than you -- it's toxic, it's like a poison, and you have to protect yourself or it will actually hurt your writing.

telegramsam

]]> <![CDATA[The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing]]> @Mary Mouse: I agree with you, though nothing about Tracie wanting to get laid all the time offends me -- I just don't know if she's gonna want it out there forever and ever.

My college thesis project was largely about me having sex, loving to have sex, being empowered by loving to have sex, yadda yadda.

Do I still love fucking? Of course, but at the ripe old age of 30, I cringe just knowing that document is sitting on some shelf in some library somewhere. And I thank god I wrote it in the pre-blog age.

GingerVitis

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