<![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> We must, We must
We must increase the bust
the bigger the better
the tighter the sweater
the boys depend on us!

My frinds mom taught me that when I was twelve





AnnaXC09

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> The way this thing works, you're better off just jacking some guy off. It's practically the same motions.

Oh wait. Need to work both hand--two guys.

Of course your goddamn breasts move--how the hell do you think men do it?

Lainface

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Oh yes, fodder for Cosmo. Next month, one of their headlines will read "SEXERCISE: 50 ways to use your man as your own personal gym." "Tip 24: Handjobs and reach-arounds work to center and increase firmness of your breasts! It's a double reward your man will LOVE!"

WittyCommenter

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Aw come on everyone. Didn't you hear the commercial? FINALLY, we can lift and increase our busts! Clearly, this is what all of womanity has been waiting for. I mean, I know I won't feel good about myself until my giantess breasts force me to walk hunched over like some sort of Lovecraftian cattle-human. Thanks Dr. Kodat, I would like 20 boob-embiggening sticks.

hellodmitri

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I have a strange urge to yell, "We must! We must! We must increase our bust!"

...

That book makes me shit giggles.

Also, I'm going to quote Alton Brown on this is say that, "Unitaskers are useless." You know, there is something called a push-up or even weight training. And that actually works the muscle UNDERNEATH the boob. Not the boob itself. So much for ground-breaking research.

N i s t h a

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> OMG .... Laughing soooooo hard at the comments that I need a Depends pad.

My life is better for the Jezebels.

BeachLover420

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> My boobs look a lot like the computer generated "before" picture... you know, before they show them being transformed into robot boobs in just 5 minutes a day.

greenteaparty

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I'm trying to decide...is this the same Dr. Jan S. Kodat in the commercial? I'm thinking yes...and if so...I wonder what her church thinks of these commercials? [www.calbaptist.edu]

AllergyQueen!

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Seriously, this crap didn't work when I was 11 and reading 'Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret' and it ain't gonna work now. Television, would you please stop giving me a complex about the size of my boobs for ONE FRAKKING DAY?

kityglitr

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Which assholes were in charge of the "University Test" they tout?

kristincredible

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @CorporateTool: Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.

bruitdautrui

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> My husband would buy this just to have the excuse to say "boobs" around the house.

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I saw this this weekend and almost died laughing. Is it 1967 again? Are the commercials on VH1 actually ads in the back of Tiger Beat magazine? Am I actually a gullible 12 year old girl? My husband was like, "so this is along the lines of 'male enhancement', isn't it?" They can't actually make real claims so they're just like, "my breast muscles are more centered....I'm more confident"

aubonpam

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> As several have said before me, push ups are quite similar, or incline bench press. I did have more cleavage-- made of *muscle*-- when I benched four days a week. Butterflies also seem quite similar. But espousing any of these exercises without also building back muscles is asking for strains and bad posture.

unlegion

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I noticed funny part in this commercial when I saw it the other day. Towards the end, when the woman refers to her "breast muscle", her face changes. Halfway through the sentence you can almost see the actress realize how ridiculous those two words sound together. It comes out as "breast..er..muscle". It's awesome.

katiew480

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> "The Journal of Applied Research: putting science and insecurity where your boobs use to be."

BeSarcastic

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Mrs. Lovett: And yeah, it was Extenze. We gave it to my co-worker as a gag gift.

Mrs. Lovett

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> My first thought was that some guy(s) is gonna record that shit next time it comes on and use it as wank-fodder.

SarahMC

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Lymed: jezebel editors: youve been given your orders. do with them as you wish.

video of this research would be appreciated. thanks.

jenalicious

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith...: Hubby got the mail about six months ago and there was a package addressed to our neighbor down the street. It looked like cable TV junk mail stuff, so hubby opened it. (His reasoning was not to bother the guy if it was junk.) Turns out... It was for the guy's junk.

Neither of us had the 'balls' to give him his 'package'. We figured that he'd call the company, and have them ship another.

Mrs. Lovett

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I love the part where they show a female researcher hard at work. Anyhow, if the bar works then I suppose that the old tricks like dipping thy bosom in ice water or singing opera music also work.

Cam/ron

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Do they mean centered as in parallel, or one on top of the other like a traffic light?

hatepaperdoll

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> My boobs are saggy, droopy, floppy. The opposite of perky. But they gave nourishment to two babies. And they're healthy (thank God). So fuck Easy Curves.

GoldHoops

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith...: Dear God, I saw that crapomercial at the wee hour of 3am one night. Hilarious, sad and unbeweavable all in one.

Diesel920

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Dear Jezebel,

thank you for keeping me abreast of this titillating new development, one of which I was unaware. I'm such a boob, sometimes.

love,

PaintedTrollop

PaintedTrollop

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> This commercial is a sketch from SNL or something, right?

sequined

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> 13 year old boys must LOVE that advertisement.

I doubt that this bloody contraption could do a thing for me. My mom told me that I could get by with band-aids instead of a bra. BTW, she also tried to get me to the "I must, I must, I must increase...." exercise.

passionatechastity

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> If you have saggy boobs you can work your pecs all day long and your boobs will still sag. No amount of pec work can undo decades of gravity =(

BlueEyedBitchface

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> It scares me so much how they jump...

"the bigger the better the tighter the sweater, we must increase our bust!"

Wanderlusting...

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Sparker_Pants: @Busted Weave:
...and pushups don't require 'three easy payments', either!


bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Also, good old fashioned push-ups will do the same trick.

And "boob stick" is my new favorite insult.

that megawatt smile

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @CorporateTool: i know it happens in Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret, but it wouldn't surprise me if it popped up elsewhere.

if that commercial were on at 3am, i would so believe that i needed one.

CMG

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @crushdmb: For real, if you have tatters my size, and you can pass the pencil test, I think that NASA would like a word with you and your gravity-defying skills.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> the bra and the exercise.

Sparker_Pants

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> push. ups.

Sparker_Pants

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @CorporateTool: Are You THere God? It's Me, Margaret. My first Judy Blume book, and my introduction to breast enhancement and sanitary napkin belts.

that megawatt smile

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith...: Down the street from the Royal Magic College of Hyderabad.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I would totally fail the pencil test (is that were the pencil is supposed to fall out from underneath your breasts?), but I would assume that almost anyone with NATURAL 38D/DD's would fail that test. If you don't, they are fake. And I don't do fake boobies.

little stripes

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Busted Weave: LOL Haven't heard that for years! Ha ha ha! At least something good came out of this ridiculously stupid ad - you made me laugh! Thanks!

ItchykooParker

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @NefariousNewt: Well played Python reference.
@wolf biter: Journal of Applied Research? Well, i did a study for the Journal for the Bleedin' Obvious, and my results were that straight guys like boobies, with little regard to their naturalness. So I call quackery on this Journal of Applied Research.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @brookidy: I've heard it's located next to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.

JessicaLovejoy: Heart of Dykeness

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Mostly it looked like they were giving the bar a handjob.

Peppermint

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> But does it work? We need some investigative reporting.

Lymed

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @nenasadije: thank*

nenasadije

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> my fourteen year old self wants one of these SO BAD!!! mom, PLEAAAASEEEEEEE!!!

that fucking god i'm not fourteen anymore.

nenasadije

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith...: Boob U?

brookidy

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I wish we could all go back to Bullet bras. I need Easy Pointers for Easy Stabby Action.

trisarahtops

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I can't believe that advert isn't a spoof... white coats, 'research'...

I reckon those exercises might work, though. I call it 'barmaid's breast' cos when I was working behind a bar and reaching up work stiff optics a lot, I felt my pecs really get worked out and looked a lot perkier as a result.

filleunique

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Archetype: The soft focus and the vaguely Kenny G soundtrack?

Crispy Hair?

NerD!!!

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Well, if it was tested at University, it must be good.

BTW, can we talk about Extenze? I want to hurt myself every time one of those people says "that certain part of the male body."

JessicaLovejoy: Heart of Dykeness

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> So apparently it's meant not only to increase your bust size, but folds easily to carry for self-defense.

NefariousNewt

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Now, I am quite sure that I would fail the pencil test, but I'll squeeze my hairbrush in front of me for 10 minutes a day before I'll shell out $10 for a plastic bar with pink rubber grips. Hell, I'll let the bf watch, and kill two birds with one bouncy stone.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @babytuna: You don't match your bra to your 'gym' equipment?

Leiakat

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @tailfeather: Huge tracts of pecs...

NefariousNewt

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @tailfeather: @Busted Weave: Arg. Apparently I am totally unoriginal. Sorry.

CorporateTool

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Archetype: We must, we must
We must increase our bust
It's better, it's better
It's better for the sweater
We may, we may
We may get big someday!






tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> "more centered" - I thought uniboob was something to avoid.

Lift and seperate the girls.

Leiakat

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> @Archetype: probably the fuschia bra matching the fuschia grips on that boob stick

babytuna

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> "The muscles that strengthen and lift the bust..." you mean the pectorals?

This reminded me of nothing so much as the YA book where all the girls try to touch their elbows together behind their backs while reciting "we must, we must, we must increase our bust." Can't remember which book though.

CorporateTool

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> I'm old school when it comes to mah boobies, it's "I must, I must, I must increase my bust!"

that megawatt smile

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Push-ups and pull-ups do the same thing but for free.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Okay, you are not "working your breasts," you are working your PECS. For fuck's sake.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> If a vaunted, peer-reviewed academic journal like The Journal of Applied Research says the Easy Curves is an effective boob-enhancing tool, it must be!

wolf biter

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Why do I suddenly feel that I'm in 1992?

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> "I looked down and I could see my breast muscles moving." LOL!

Dodai

]]> <![CDATA[Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts]]> Obviously, not a very strenuous work-out. Thank you, but I will stick to my marshmallows & "Biggest Loser" marathons.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]>