<![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> there is a bollywood movie where an armless widower uses shoes much like those lawn aerators to get revenge on the bad guys who killed his family and cut off his arms. possibly the greatest. fight scene. EVER.

BaconBandito

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> The Nuclear Globe is scary. There is no way you could 'paddle' out of a rip tide.

ClassicTidy

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Best.Post.Ever

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks about this kind of crap.

embobly

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Don't forget the Harry Potter wand replicas. Those things are sharp. I do want the aerator sandals. I like the multi-tasking aspect of walking and lawn-care. Maybe I could be reading a book at the same time...?

LisaMc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Shoe-chucks!

randomnessish

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Xavoc: I still have one (the #6 thing) from when I worked rescue. They have several nicknames - some call it a 'rollover' and others a 'sinker'. The official name for it was "MP" for multi-purpose. I've seen so many cases that needed one that I refuse to go without in my car.

Gretchen

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @hamorous: I would use the hammer to break a window and flee. Even if you blind them, they will still smell your brains.

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Xavoc: You're right, of course. Now which one of the five tools should I use to defend myself against the attacking zombies? Should I bludgeon them with the glass breaker or try to blind them with the red emergency light?

hamorous

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @hamorous: Or, thaty they just happen to view the world a little differently from you, and want you to be prepared.

What if zombies attack?

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Hmmm- I'm not sure if I'm being yelled at here so I'll assume (optimistically) that I am not. Anyway- in that instance, I meant someone who owns replicas from fan catalogs. You give me way more credit for banality than I deserve.

On that note, I am more of an imaginary arsonist (I have no idea what that means, psychologically speaking- but, there you have it). Although, I've done a few imaginary assassinations (NOT the President so back off imaginary NSA!) & kidnappings. It's one of the curses of loving thrillers and forensic books. It is better than sudoku when you are trapped and waiting.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> My grandmother got me something similar to the 5-in-1 emergency tool... I had interpreted it as an innocent Christmas gift from an overly anxious relative, but after reading this I'm beginning to wonder if it was actually some kind of threat??

hamorous

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @lolacat(ΩΜ): You mean like the fact that I travel on airplanes while armed? (You can stab someone just as easily with a cheap pen as you can a knife.) Or that I plot out whose neck I need to step on to get out of somewhere if things go badly?

Swords and knives tend to scare people more than guns. They require intimacy and closeness to use, a willing to get your hands dirty. Most people don't ponder why it upsets them to see a knife/sword weilding lunatic, but it's the basic premise behind it.

Guns tend to be impersonal (until you're the one shot that is) weapons.

And besides, you don't need them to be necessarily sharp. Just heavy and pointy.

Some people want to feel safe naturally, some people want to feel safe by being prepared.

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: I have three swords! The blades aren't that sharp. But, I keep one next to my bed because I figure it will the scare the shit out of anyone.

I am so pleased when other people share things that I wonder if I should worry about.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> They also had the Marshmallow Shooter...sad to say but Mr. Party Pants would salivate if that was in his Christmas stocking this year...

party_pants

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: Yeah, I've wandered outside barefoot in gym shorts with an asp to talk some sense into a guy who was uhm, showing his girlfriend his boxing technique.

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @hortense: I have something similar to #6 that I used to carry all the time in my old vehicle.

I used it to break a window and cut the seatbelt off of a person in a flipped SUV that was leaking gasoline at the North I-17/I-10 interchange in Phoenix one evening on my way to do some late night work.

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Beesley: I also find the Moolatte from DQ offensive- same reasons.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Ummm- I've never been there and I've only been acquainted with it due to my awesome love for the Real Housewives of Orange County (I am NOT ashamed)- but I suspect that you could do a treasure hunt and find all of these items at Lake Havasu.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> OMG, I love Sky Mall! Every time I get on a plane I read through the whole thing and just laugh hysterically. It's full of the most bizarre products that are never sold anywhere else, would cost an absolute fortune to ship, and are already obscenely expensive. It occupies a solid hour of any flight I take.

R-Star

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I'm glad there are is SOMEONE who appreciates Sky Mall as much as I do. I've been trying to get someone to buy me the Hot Dog Toaster for years!

vforvanna

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Mmmkay, so I gotta admit to adoring the shiny batman money clip - but that's just the fangirl in me, I suppose.

And that Muletto thing looks like something from the Dollar Store..

QueenOfOuch

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I also find "muletto" vaguely offensive

Beesley

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> SkyMall is the height of capitalist genius. Get a bunch of Americans 30,000 feet above and away from the nearest flyover strip mall, and they will buy ANYTHING. Must... to... consume... conspicuously!

animasola

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @blackbirdfly: I saw the show once. Walker Texas Ranger was picking a fight with a bunch of redneck survivalists. He was there with his fat asian sidekick.

I saw the fat asian guy get surrounded by ten rednecks, and thought to myself, "Oh, whoah, that guys in trouble." Then realized it was Sammo Hung, and watched as he proceeded to beat them all up with a coffee thermos.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @noseriously: I think I've seen the show twice in my life (probably could not find the remote) and there were collapsed buildings in both episodes. I guess that happens a lot in Texas.

OH, the one that was on the other day had Nikolai from "Six Feet Under" as the bad guy. That was fucking weird.

I'll stop the threadjack.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Barney! He rocked the hot dog toaster. you are not alone

intheboudoir

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Lizawithazee: Yeah, a few years ago one of my profs (okay, decades ago) suggested getting several pair of these and having a polka party on your lawn. He said this with a straight face to, you know, avoid chemical lawn treatments and stuff.

nellicat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Clearly somebody didn't turn to the "Lord of the Rings" or "Harry Potter" sections where they could have fantasized about stabbing their boss/spouse/annoying baby behind them along with far-too-young hapless mother with a replica Hermione wand or Gandalf's staff.

And if all else fails, just buy the RC blimp and drop well-aimed firecrackers into somebody's eyes.

bzr

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: That is awesome. You are menacing but really can't be bothered.

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> There seems to be something awfully wrong yet sinfully comfy about these:
[images.skymall.com]

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @blackbirdfly: Grandma watches Walker Texas Ranger every day. And CBS soaps. I'm not sure there's a correlation. I went to sleep while visiting her and Walker was chasing a bad guy into a parking garage. When I woke up, the parking garage had collapsed in an earthquake and everyone was either having sex with someone not-their-spouse or choking on dust...

Hmm.

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: What am I, foolish?

If you can see Chuck Norris, then he can see you; if you can't see Chuck Norris, it's already TOO LATE!

@noseriously: It is actually a kind of black kimono that I wear like a bathrobe.

It was very late at night. I had pants on, anyway, but I wasn't about to get dressed so I could threaten some hoodlums.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: We don't have unsightly thatch buildup. We're not that kind of people.

Lizawithazee

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @SouthernSatine: Hi, what are you doing on Friday?

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: I got a Chuck Norris poster for my birthday. I love Chuck Norris never uses the bathroom because nothing escapes Chuck Norris the best.

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Lizawithazee: Do they - giggle - really prevent...hee! snrrrk..."thatch buildup"?

HAHAHAHAH oh god.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: Were you wearing a smoking jacket?

Say yes!

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @sequined: those lawn aerating sandals-- Mr. Withazee wanted them A LOT (and he never wants anything) so we got him some (for Father's Day, of course) and now all his friends borrow them to do their lawns. Seriously.

Lizawithazee

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: Ok, TOTALLY OT, but: so "Walker, Texas Ranger" came on USA the other morning while I was getting dressed and I happened to see in the credits that it is Chuck Norris who sings that MASTERPIECE of a theme song. I was THRILLED. Am I the only person who didn't know this?

Chuck Norris is a renaissance man.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @SouthernSatine: aaa! i am so jealous... anything that will speed up my consumption of jager is amazing in my book.

jager is my booze-soulmate. it makes me riproaringly drunk (but not sad-drunk) and has yet to make me yak.

hoodienerd

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I find the term "burp" gun vaguely offensive.

MyFirstAndLastName

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @BlondeGrlz: I was totally hoping he would lie and say yes so I could TOTALLY CALL HIM OUT ON IT because when the boogeyman goes to sleep each night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Braak had to be all honest and took the high ground. Blah.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I own that Jager machine. That is all.

SouthernSatine

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @WhateverCraig: Hahaha, I like the way you think!

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: Dude, you can't defend yourself from Chuck Norris. Don't even say shit like that.

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @lauralk3: They need to make sure you're classy enough for it.

@Trixie from Toronto: My mom's cat has a lovely one and still refuses to drink any water that isn't running from the tap. We put the fountain right next to the sink and the cat still won't touch it. My cats only enjoy licking water from the shower after I get out.

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @noseriously: !!!

Yes, it would...

braak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: It was not against Chuck Norris.

But I definitely used it to chase off some local hoodlums, once.

I have a lot of swords. I like them. Who can say why?

braak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> If you think you need to break a car window in an emerg, just carry around a fragment of a porcelain spark plug. It's how people usually smash windows to rob cars or steal them. True story.

Solzica

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: It would make a good prop for the fencing movie you are writing with onthecornerofparkerandwoolf.

Come on now, back to writing.

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> There's going to be a crime spree, at the very least Joe Francis is going to turn up in the Nuclear Ball punctured with at the bottom of a waterfall by aerating sandals with a plastic ball lodged in his throat and a high heel in his eye socket.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @ineffable.me: You can't be prosecuted for murder by paper cut in at least 17 states.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @J.D.Regent: My favourite childless couple dresses their kitties up every Halloween as fairies, pirates, etc. Oh how I laugh at the photographs. The weirdest thing? The cats seem proud.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @braak: Can I pleeaase ask you why you have it? Is it its stainless steel cutting edge?

Have you ever defended yourself in single combat with it? Like, against Chuck Norris or something? pleasesayyespleasesayyes

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> If the weight limit for the Nuclear Globe is 170 lbs, I have to wonder what would happen if a larger person was stuffed into it. I'm just sayin'....

safi

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @DorothyZbornak: Yeah, mine jumps in the tub after I'm done and licks it.

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @J.D.Regent: I think I need to get one because Des always splashes the water and licks it off his paws. And he likes to drink directly out of the faucet.

We used to have cat grass, too. I think we need to get some more.

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Mine used to do that, now he's moved on to the water that drips from the tub faucet.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I now receive the Sky Mall catalog at home. This is what happens when you actually order something out of it. I ordered window stickings that look like frosted glass for the tiny weird window in my bathroom that is not big enough for blinds but IS big enough for someone to easily see me pee.

I also think you could easily kill someone with those weird inflatable theapeutic foot massagers they have in the health section. Simply hide poisonous snakes inside.

EdnasEdibles

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @stacyinbean: btw, she's 10, not, say 23 or anything.

stacyinbean is a proud East Coast Librul Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Miss-Pringle: you won't need cheese

DinaRonson

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Trixie from Toronto: YES. our spoiled rotten little ones have one, PLUS I planted cat grass in the corner so they can graze. They drink a lot more water when it's running all the time (why they like toilet). Yes, I probably need to have children soon before I start dressing them in little uniforms.

J.D.Regent

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I have that Batman Begins cane sword.

It's not really that great.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @yaowapa: My little sister has that! I think it's been used once, the day it was bought, and that was it.

stacyinbean is a proud East Coast Librul Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I've always wondered if anyone ever bought that cat litter box disguised as a plant holder - because, you know, who wouldn't want their living room smelling like cat piss and shit?

dirtybee says bee yourself!

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I'm sitting in my officle cracking up at this post, Dodai. All those times I've idly flicked through Sky Mall on the flight and thoughts of murder never crossed my mind. I feel a bit unexotically untwisted now.

I'm convinced the aerated lawn sandals are from the Un-useless Japanese inventions books. Next to the umbrella hat and baby mop onesie, right?

cautionarywhale

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Wouldn't that "walk on water" gigantic hamster ball heat up to about 2000 degrees?

nellicat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> After the Elessar fiasco, I doubt I'll get that cool ass Batman cane.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @yaowapa: I think that's a question for Ignatius J. Reilly.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Weird that they sell all the same stuff on QVC as in the Sky Mall mag. Are both our airline and television catalogs respectively trying to kill us???

(PS, please don't ask me why I know this. I am a sad sad girl, I know.)

Ittybittytitty

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Wow, my mom would love this magazine. They sell the same junk she buys from Harriet Carter.

WifeMotherCrip

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @blackbirdfly: I think it looks fun. What would be really fun (but not particularly hygenic) would be to *fill* the thing with alcohol.

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I have been on a floating fiesta. With alcohol. And, yeah, it was totally fucking fun. You may all envy me now.

But no one died. Sorry.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> My favorite SkyMall item is the hotdog maker for 2 hotdogs and 2 buns. Honestly, how many hotdogs must one eat in order to necessitate a kitchen appliance specifically for the purpose of making them?

yaowapa

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I am endlessly fascinated by this catalogue, especially all the cat-and-dog products.

I am sorely tempted to buy one of those automatic kitty water filtration systems in an effort to get my cats to stop drinking from the toilet.

Does anyone know if they actually work?

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> ok. This is quality journalism for real. I will come back later and savor slowly with a nice glass of chardonnay.

Miss-Pringle

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Too...many...dirty...puns...

Must...resist...

"...Helps prevent thatch buildup."

I can't read it without laughing.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> It gives me great pleasure to know the toolbox I saw yesterday driving his truck with the chomping dog on his hitch had to pay $24.99 for it.

Inkymonkey

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @bigleggedwoman: Can't stop laughing now . . . I'm pretty sure it would be a stooges-style head bonk writ large.

nellicat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> you could invite someone for a leisurely afternoon away from civilaztion on the floating siesta but have its other riders be Paul Janka, Paris Hilton and Anne Coulter and just wait for the person to just do the job herself.

loldrunk

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @amandahugnkiss: SHOOT BUNNIES?

jesus h christ. that is just awful.

ineffable.me

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @tscheese: that's funny. i never have any memories when i do jager.

onthecornerofparkerandwoolf

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @DinaRonson: That is SO true. I have purchased many things I didn't actually need!

bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @CMG:
Hey, at least they're not those trailer hitch nuts. Dude, why not just have a big honkin' sign that says, "I'm massively insecure about my weiner! Ask me how!"

gina_rienne

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Also, that Batarang clip would beat the SHIT out of my pants pockets or purse. Who wants pointy Bat-cessories poking you all day? I mean, who other than Robin?

I KEED, I KEED.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> See, I must be old-school and unimaginative, because I figured you could just suffocate someone with either of those crappy flotation devices.

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @ineffable.me: If he didn't talk until his chance to kill had passed.
@lippybug: I said COULD, not would.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Christopher Hitchens needs to be one of the animated, flailing hitch critters.

We can call him Christopher Hitches and his signature "animated move" can be drinking lots of gin and saying no one is funny.

ENDLESS LULZ

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Yes, the more I think about it, all you need is a three-meter diving board and someone willing to cannonball into the center of that floating fiesta thingy.

'Cause, see, the people will either fly out of the contraption or knock their heads togther like Stooges! I want to try it. I am going to go pick up some light beer and get started.

bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @bigleggedwoman:
Haz zero 2 do w. need.
ALL about the wants.

DinaRonson

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @JudgeFudge: I'd do it, but even in Wisconsin, the fashions would probably force me to quit. On the other hand - eternal kitty water fountains, doggie-toting luggage, and gigantic lawn buddhas. . .

nellicat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Is it wrong that my husband wants to buy the air gun, fill the ping pong balls with explosives, and shoot the bunnies that keep eating my flowers?

re: Floating Fiesta...why not treat it like a floating pinata? Fill it with the people you detest the most and bust out the flaming sticks!

amandahugnkiss

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @filthygorgeous: i have. in case of an emergency, i can use my BodyGard 5-In-1 Emergency Tool to cut myself out of my Mulettos.

hharlowe

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Genius. Absolutely love this post. And I'm going for the sandals.

CorreLola

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Is that the most recent issue? Why does that cover and all the ads look like they were designed in the 1970s?!

Roots500

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> why do you have to be a US resident to order the jäger tap? this does not make any sense.

lauralk3

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @haguenite: Argh. My messed up syntax, let me show you it.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i really want the floating siesta. just sayin.

SpicyTamale

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> \@Charlotte Corday: Those SCARE me! Whose cat would get in there and not hiss and scream the entire time. Also, 'kitty gitmos' is fucking PRICELESS.

stacyinbean is a proud East Coast Librul Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> ... ooops....

Who NEEDS that crap?

bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I feel like there has to be some way to fill the Floating Fiesta with liquid explosives and lodge the starter device in the matching 16-quart cooler. I'm still working on it, though.

jetztinberlin

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @ineffable.me:but alas, he would inevitably run out of time and the explosion would commence.

jenalicious

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @DorothyZbornak: And it totally fucks up my plans for a "My Little Mule" line of toys. Patent pending.

andBegorrah

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @PinkSoxHat:
"Cannonball!"

Great work, Dodai. I always grimace at the stuff in those catalogs. Who NEEDS

bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @BAngieB: Sacrilege! McGyver NEVER killed people!

lippybug

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @filthygorgeous: I've never ordered but I secretly want the hot dog and bun toaster.

Pinkosaurus

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Also, Jager tap? Nothing has made me yearn for, pine for, beg for death like too many Jager shots, dudes. The last time I did Jager shots was over three years ago and I still remember it VIVIDLY.

You don't need antifreeze. Just leave the Jager as it is.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @BAngieB: But McGruber could kill someone just WITH the SkyMall catalog.

ok ok, and maybe some club soda.

ineffable.me

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: They're kind of small, I think. Get a bunch, don't feed them for a few days, put 'em in a Rubbermaid bin and tote to the shore. Kersplash in the floating fiesta (bonus points if you float that bitch in shark infested water when you release the fishies) and you have a death trap. Mwahahah, nowhere is safe!!!

WhateverCraig

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @honeybunchesofoats: word.

I always wondered who actually ordered from sky mall. Some one out there must. Anyone on here? Don't be ashamed. We won't judge... too much.

filthygorgeous

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Those Trailer Hitches are funny, but not nearly as distracting as Truck Nuts.

[images.google.com]

kookla

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @JudgeFudge: That should be a Project Runway challenge - make a couture outfit only from items sold in a Skymall catalogue.

petuniacat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @AthertonMerriweather:
Ah, the fun of teh geigh NPH.
LOVE it.

DinaRonson

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @JudgeFudge: have you seen some of those kitty gitmos on wheels?

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Dodai, you have cemented your place in my heart forever. You had me at "It is good for people who won't shut the fuck up, however. "

HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @honeybunchesofoats: He obviously lured Britney in with the Jager tap.

AthertonMerriweather

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I can just see some kid getting trapped underneath the Floating Fiesta in a small, bean-shaped pool.

pennycandy

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Somebody should do a "supersize me"-like experiment where they only shop from Skymall for an entire year.

JudgeFudge

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Dodai: I knew that 7 a.m. gossip culling would make you snap sooner or later.

andBegorrah

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I say just fill that Fiesta thing with 8 people you hate, and set them afloat in shark-infested waters.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i still like the 2-in-1 hot dog and bun toaster for portable torture possibilities. so seemingly wholesome, yet so potentially nasty.

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I'm sorry, all I saw in the "Nuclear Globe" was "stage a nuclear face-off as you bump and bounce off your opponent."

Heh heh. Is that what the kids are callin' it nowadays?

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Ooh, I don't know about the word Mulletto.

perennial

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @sequined: Barney Stinson.

anyone?

jenalicious

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I feel like the LAST thing my grandma needs is a cane with a fucking SWORD in it. That said, I'm ordering mine RIGHT NOW.

kielbasasausage

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @WhateverCraig: Pirahnas would work too...Just getting them to the Floating Fiesta unnoticed would be a challenge.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> The scariest part of all of this is that someone, somewhere will buy these items.

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> MacGyver could kill someone with a travel alarm clock and a neck pillow from SkyMall.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Good to know you can get replacement spikes for the lawn sandals. Clean-up's a bitch.

AthertonMerriweather

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Oh thank G'd. If it hadn't been this or puppehs I would have had to drop out of Jez for the day because I couldn't cry anymore after all the hardcore posts.
I must confess I just love this game. It's like White Trash Home Repair ("now to repair this, all you need is a screw gun, pliers, and some spackle") crossed with James Bond.

jetztinberlin

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I always judge the quality of products by whether or not you could kill someone with them.

hatepaperdoll

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith...: That shouldn't have made me LOL as much as I did.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i can't stop reading "muletto" as "mulatto." i've seen those trailer hitches and they drive me batshit.

cmg

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> The "My Muletto" has the distinction of being simultaneously slightly offensive to those of mixed race backgrounds and mullet wearers.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i'm thinking get someone in the nuclear globe far away from shore, then pop that bitch.

onthecornerofparkerandwoolf

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> umm, I kind of want the nuclear globe. Boy would the heads on the beach at Coney Island a-turn!

zizzlepop

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I want those floaty thingies! They (especially the ball) seem like so much fun.

Trinny and Susannah don't like it when I wear straps around my ankles. They say it makes my short legs look chunky.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: It comes with an electric pump - no need to buy the electrocution device separately - whee!

petuniacat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> If I order the Batman sword from Skymall, will they let me bring it on the plane? Because my Batman sword says that aisle seat is MINE, BITCH.

nadarine

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I really saw the "my mulletto" as turning into a garrote.

CorporateTool

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I too, think of murder when lodged between two people on a four hour flight. Especially when the one in the window needs to pee a lot and the one in the aisle seat is fast asleep.

ineffable.me

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Oh my GOD I want a floating fiesta SO BADLY!

And these products are hilarious. Who is on a flight and thinks, "omg, lawn aerating sandals??" and excitedly notes down the order information for when you're actually allowed to use phones?

sequined

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: Piranha?

WhateverCraig

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Dodai, you're fucking ON today.

onthecornerofparkerandwoolf

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i have a pvc pipe gun that i made in geometry class that can bludgeon you with deadly marshmellows at the speed wind!

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> i seriously love this.

SpicyTamale

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Someone's been playing a little too much Grand Theft Auto before flying.

Pinkosaurus

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> @Begorrah: Mwahahahahha!

Dodai

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Dear Brown Folks:

Plz to not be taking your Air Gun outisde. It will be mistaken for an Uzi and you will be shot. This will really fuck up for nephew's birthday party.

Love,
JessicaLovejoy

JessicaLovejoy is voting for Kodos

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> I want to send the Jager Tap to Heather from Rock Of Love for Christmas!

AthertonMerriweather

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> That floating fiesta thing looks like the best time ever. I'll report back if it results in death.

PinkSoxHat

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Barney Stinson has all of these items. And perhaps he's using them to kill or maim, but really he's just using them to pick up chicks.

honeybunchesofoats

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> 2. Floating Fiesta: Toss a toaster in it? There's a bit of work involved finding an extension cord by a lakeside, but it might work out. You could fill it with angry sea bass too.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]> <![CDATA[8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone]]> Finally, an answer to that nagging question about which editor we should fear most.

andBegorrah

]]>