<![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I'm not sure how I'll deal with telling my kids about what I did or didn't do before they were born. Probably on a need to know basis, I have 2 boys so it's slightly different, I won't be so concerned with their sex lives getting them into trouble more that they respect the girls (or guys) they date and if they do get down and dirty that they do it properly. They're young yet, I dread to think what kind of fuckery kids will be up to when they're teens but I hope by then we'll have instilled a good sense of caution mixed with adventure and they will be ok.

boliath

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @ltlbbynthn: YOu do have to "GROW UP" when you become a parent but you also have to CHILL THE FUCK OUT quite often. I have 2 small children, I work full time I give give give all day every day and when it's me time, I roll a lovely doobie spark up and chill with myself - and my man. It's necessary, it's no harm to anyone and I've been smoking so long I'm not exactly staring at a lava lamp all giggley, I'm much more likely to get really into folding clothes just so. Getting baked from time to time makes me a better parent, just like taking a valium does for people who don't do DRUGS just the ones they get from the doctor.

boliath

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> *Gross*
I walked in on my parents....I ran hid under the covers and shivered. It was incredibly gross!! They didnt even hear the super loud cracking noise from the door!

My dad also told me his coke stories and that never stopped me.

SO KEEP THE DETAILS AND ONLY SHARE THE STORIES ONCE THEY ARE MATURE ADULTS!


LittleCurvesKill

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @WaltzingMatilda:

anthropologie has the cutest aprons.

[www.anthropologie.com]

Wanderlusting...

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom tells me all the time all the stuff she tried--and why she stopped. She says she tried a cigarette once and didn't see the point in smelling bad and spending money; she's been completely smashingly drunk only a handful of times and simply felt stupid; she smoked all the time in college until she became "allergic" to it (not sure what the real story behind that is). She even told me she was gonna do acid once in college but couldn't find a babysitter for my sister. Her telling me what she did didn't really change the fact that I had already decided those things were kind of pointless and stupid to ME.

Most of that info I got after I'd made that choice. Learning about Mommy's little "escapades" in the 60s and my brother's addiction to meth in the 90s only cemented that.

Brazz

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom was and is the poster child for not drinking, no drugs, and no premarital sex. My fratastic dad, though, sat me down with a beer the summer after freshman year and said "okay, so tell me all your crazy drinking stories!"

The only problem is that, although I never broached the issue of sex with my parents, my mom prefers to get all reprimand-y while my dad thinks the fact that I lost my virginity long ago means he can talk about him and my mom doin' the nasty.

And every time he does, I'm forced to light myself on fire and jump out the window.

LillyV

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I guess parents and by extension myself were completely freaks as parents. They always were honest with me about the things they did as teens and I have always been honest with my own children. I mean how could I look my own child in the eye and lie to them about something I did knowing that if they ever found it out that the trust they have in me would be lost.

RedHotz

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I am a relatively easygoing mom. Very much so. But I am all about feigning lameness in every way. I figure, set a high bar of lameness, and how bad could the inevitable rebellion (to shame me) get?

ObtuseIntolerant

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Ohhh man. My mom started smoking cigarettes by 13, experimented with all kind of drugs in her teens and twenties, drank on a fairly regular basis by 15, and was most definitely not a virgin by about 15 as well.

She never made a point to tell me, but if I asked her, she was honest about it. She's always said that she'd rather I feel comfortable talking to her about things like that than I go out and get hurt/arrested/etc because no one ever talked to me about it.

Do we tell each other every little detail of our endeavors? Hell no. But we're open because we trust and respect each other enough.

I do totally call her a ho sometimes, though, when she tells me about the times she tried to get backstage at concerts. My mom wanted to be a groupie so bad.

nobody girl

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I never ever agreed with my friend who said they would get high with their kids. How are you being a good parent if you're still doing DRUGS?! My mom told me about the drugs she did and I also experimented and got addicted to some things but I also grew out of it just like she did. It's nice to know pot had the same effect on her as it did me.

I think it's wrong to lie to your kids. It will make them feel more normal to know that you went through the same things they do when they're growing up. My mom also told me she stopped smoking when she got pregnant, so that kinda instilled a sense of "when you're a parent, you have to fucking GROW UP"

ltlbbynthn

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> For me it was super easy to decline pot and other drugs in high school and college - anything my hippie parents spent that much time doing had to be lame. I rebelled: won scholarships, led a Catholic youth group, dated boys with trust funds.

Fortunately, I snapped out of my rebellious phase, went to work for Planned Parenthood and married Mr. G&Y, whose problem with authority is almost as large as my own. Pot smoke still reminds me of my childhood. Thanks, Dad.

Gin&Yonic

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Ya know, the thing I wonder about when I read this post is whether there's any truth to the oft-repeated, never sourced claim that today's marijuana is so much stronger now than it was in the 1960s. People are saying the same thing about LSD, coke, whatever - I have to say it sounds like a drug war scare story to me. The 60s saw a full-scale drug-fueled social revolution! If the drugs were soooo much stronger today, would eating too many doritos be the major consequence? Does anyone have any evidence to back these claims?

malivuk

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I was so, so, so very boring until I got to college, and even then all I did was hump some boys and have a few dumb drunken parties. I never even tried pot until I was 24 or 25.

I grew up in a really conservative area, about 20 miles away from the nearest town, and even if I had any idea how to procure drugs or alcohol whilst underage, how would I have gotten them from point A to point B? It was a logistical nightmare that kept me at home.

It never, ever occurred to me in a MILLION years that my parents had done ANY of the above...until I sheepishly mentioned to my mom that I'd tried pot.

"Oh, ja, good heavens, Tscheese," she said, in that weird Midwestern mom accent, "I was in my teens in the sixties. What do you think I was doing? I tried it too a few times. Never was crazy about it. Fun, but just made me feel stupid."

Also there used to be a drive-through liquor store in our town. Every time we drove to town, Mom would order a candy bar for me and some white wine for her. I had no idea what "shah-BLEE" was until I started hitting the Carlo Rossi myself. My mom drank a WHOLE DAMN LOT OF WINE in her twenties, like, dang. Suddenly my bender last weekend doesn't look so bad.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I learned about all of my parents misdeeds through my grandmother. In short: my mom had a threesome after a drunken night of fun (but I knew she'd had premarital sex anyway because my older sister was born when she was 19 and not married) and my dad drank/smoked a lot of pot in high school/college. My parents were pretty lax about my having sex at 16, but when my sister was caught drinking with her college friends at 16, her car was taken away for a month and she was grounded for two weeks.

At 19, I have only smoked pot once, have only been drunk four times, and have had two sex partners (but by this weekend it will probably be 3), one of whom I knew for three hours before screwing him and the other I dated for four years. I think my mostly "good girl" background comes from being into yoga for two years when I was 16-18, not so much because I found out about my parents' misdeeds.

Jadoremonchat

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I say don't ask, don't tell. Why even bring it up? Though I was shocked to find out that my grandma smoked during pregnancy and she popped out 13 children (8 survived).

wring

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> my dad never told me about his history of EPIC college binge drinking (I mean 48 a day for at least his senior year epic) and consequent treatment for alcoholism, and I found out only later from my mother. would have REALLY liked to have known about that particular genetic predisposition before my own epic, black-out, date-rape-waiting-to-happen binge drinking mistakes, at the very least so I wouldn't feel like I had committed some mortal sin that I could never call my perfect, sober saint of a father about. (Still a huge daddy's girl and forgive him for this, but ohman).

dearcoquette

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom telling me about my dad's extracurricular activities behind his back made me realize that I can't trust her to keep a secret, ever.

Also: did NOT need nor want to know, Mom. Fuck you very much.

greenglass

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I think, as a parent, your job is to draw the line in the sand. Only as I've gotten older have I realized that's what my parents were doing.

I don't think they ever really expected their kids not to experiment at all. If there is a STRICT "no drinking" policy. Well, the kid is not going to drink sooo much that she can't sober up in time for her curfew. Or, at least, I always did (or stayed wih a friend).

You draw the line and secretly expect your kids to cross it. But, the further you draw the line, the further one step past it lies.

I think the parent's crazy youthful indiscretions only become appropriate to share post-college (maybe late college). A gradual transition from Parent --> Friend

cait98

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Oh here's my on topic comment: my parents were pretty chill about drugs and booze- I always knew they knew what was up and they would be able to tell if I was doing something and that the consequences would be dire. They instilled in me the appropriate attitude about recreational use of booze and pot, I think.

And I definitely agree with you guys that it is often people who are raised with the whole black- and- white Drugs/ Booze Are Bad attitude that tend to go crazy once they are out on their own.

madamequeen will not let you sleep on the couch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I think this is the most hilarious thread ever. Jezebel hippie parent drug stories are my favorite! Moar plz!

My parents got divorced 4 years ago and now they only talk ever because my mom gets weed from my dad, whose dealer is in his band- I think it's the drummer? I don't know, and I don't care, crazy stoner parents.

Anyway. I LOVE THIS and I want us to all get our stoned 60 year old parents together and have story time about the 60s and 70s. YES!

madamequeen will not let you sleep on the couch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom always shared a LOT Of stories with me - in an attempt to sway me away from doing things I'd regret. The problem with the drug stories was that she told them in a mixed regret/happy remembering way. It's hard to hear "my memory is bad from drugs, my attention span is bad, but let me tell you about how much FUN it was!" and not be intrigued. I've been pretty mild by comparison. I don't know that total honesty or total denial is the way to go. I think there's GOT to be a better middle ground.

gama-gama-hey

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I don't know. I don't think you can really keep this stuff from your kids because quite frankly, if you have siblings, it will come out from them or their kids. Family gossip gets out so you might as well fess up to it and explain why you think it's not the best thing you ever did. My parents told me a lot of their misadventures, and yet I have not engaged in premarital sex (both), become a drug addict/dealer (dad), tried to become a pro athlete (dad), or stopped bathing to protect animals (mom and probably dad, but just cuz he was a dirty hippie).

Svenskasweetie

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> um, honesty is the worst policy, deny everything, never apologize, never explain, and keep your fingers crossed.

krismry

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My dad always said there was a reason he told me about the stupid things he and my uncles/cousins did with firecrackers and did NOT tell my little brother.

My mom finally fessed up to smoking pot (which in retrospect should probably not have been much of a surprise) and I was pissed off at her for a bit. But not so much because she lied to me, but because she thought I'd use an illegal drug just because she had.
Maybe it worked, I dunno. I am one of the few people in my peer group that hasn't tried pot, but I think that's more because I'm worried about being allergic to it.

librisdraconis

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I will never forget the look on my brother's face when my mother asked him if he was thought he was the only person in the family who ever smoked dope. And this was in 1971. She was referring to my father, who smoked dope in his younger day, like in the 1940s and 50s. I wonder what my brother would have thought if he realized they also had sex.

fifilaru

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I think I've always known that my mom was a goody-two-shoes and my dad was a bad ass. The first time I smelled weed I thought "Oh, wow, this smells like dad's jacket." I think in high school my mom being a perfectionist and my dad having a double standard for girls behavior made me hide a lot more from them than was necessary. But this past spring break my mom and I had a long talk about everything (weed, sex, eating pot brownies before class) and now I feel like her experiences are helping me to strike a balance between being "good" and being "fun." However, if my mom had said "whoever you marry, make sure you love having sex with them, and that you have a lot of sex " to me when I was 16 I would have cried.

bellabean

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Oh and my mom is totally cool with the fact that I smoke pot, as long as I don't drink. I wouldn't have a problem with my kids doing it either.

I also think that part of the reason I'm so willing to confide in my mom is knowing that she's not some perfect person, and she accepts that I'm a teenager who will experiment as I grow. If she'd lied to me and told me she was a virgin until marriage and never did anything wrong, I might not feel as comfortable to talk to her about what's going on in my world.

elizabethgrace

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom really didn't do anything in high school, but if she had she would've told me. She told me about her pre-marital sex and smoking pot and her abortion.

I'm 16 and I've had sex and had a few drunken nights and I regularly and proudly smoke pot. I plan on being honest with my children and letting them make their own decisions about such things, I will offer my opinions on how my actions altered my life, and let them know what I hope they would do differently than I did, but I think a kid is going to do what they want to do whether you did it in the past and told them, whether you were a saint and they know it, or whether you did things in your past but kept it secret...Your kid might give you hell about being a hypocrite, but what teenager hasn't given their parents hell for being hypocrites?

elizabethgrace

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Rebellion is a natural part of the teenage experience. So if I tell my sons that I smoked pot in high school and went to a lot of Dead shows, what do they need to do to sufficiently rebel against me? Shoot Heroin? Vote Republican? There are no good choices here. If they ask, I'll tell the truth. But I'm not volunteering the information.

FingKASIL

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @LisaMc: I've been looking for my favorite book from the 70's "Recreational Drugs". I'm hoping they put out an updated version because I want my daughter to have it. She is 21 and starting college. Since she was raised in Asia she is completely clueless about drugs and, from what I can tell, only curious for the knowledge. She has said she has no intention of trying anything and I believe her. As far as alcohol is concerned she is a lightweight and her biological father is an alcoholic, which does scare the crap out of her.
She has asked Mr. G and me (old hippies) about these things and we've been honest. Kind of along the lines of "I had fun but wasted money/time/brain cells". I did tell her it seemed fun at the time (no cool details though), but when I look back on it I don't remember them. I remember when I was sick from what was probably ditchweed. It was the greatest feeling of my life when she told me she could tell me anything and didn't care to keep secrets.
As for my upbringing, it was more German than American when it came to this. It was clear there were certain things I could NOT ask my parents. I would only be told it was none of my business. If I asked about a topic in GENERAL, however, I would receive much wise advice. I was allowed alcohol in our home as it was served at meals, but I was also taught that being drunk in public was crass and gross. So when my friends had their keggers and ended up passed out or puking their guts out, I was still on my first beer and disgusted. My daughter has already seen binge drinking and feels the same way. I got a call from her not long ago when she was on her way home early because "everyone got disgusting drunk and they were not fun anymore".

My daughter rocks.

Gretchen

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I don't want to have kids, so that's one decision I'm never going to have to make.

I grew up knowing that my dad used to chainsmoke and that my parents lived together before getting married. At family dinners, one of the big topics as soon as I got a little older was "this one time I was really stoned, and . . ."

Of course, I am now slutty as hell and I like to binge drink. But none of this started until college. Make of that what you will.

lynxwings

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mother's attitude is that what she did is none of my busienss, and what I do is none of hers. We get along great.

thenewmasses

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I was starting to phase out regular pot smoking in my mid-twenties because it was starting to freak me out, and I always told myself I would do it until it was fun, and then drop it like a bad habit. Which I did, and here's how I was helped along: by having to smoke a joint with a guy's parents in their upstate home. Done deal.

brassinpocket

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I was at a baby shower (ugh) and this topic came up. My best friend remarked sarcastically that you have to tell kids to stay away from pot because it's a gateway drug, and one of the zombie mommies there replied "I KNOW, right?"

And the zombie used to be a total pothead. This type of bullshit makes me want to puke. I completely respect my mom for telling me how awesome drugs were, and I am glad that I took psychadelics almost on her recommendation. I'd tell it to any kid of mine: psilocybes are the closest you will ever come to experiencing total ego disintegration and the awesomeness of the universe. Spread the word.

trikitixa

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Yeah, my mom, who went to Berkeley, always says, "I was offered pot at a party once. AND I SAID NO."

Heh, I believe it. Because she sure could use a good toke now.

However, I FREAKED when she told me she dated an older guy before her and Dad got married...because there goes the high school sweetheart story they bullshitted for years...

WantToTouchtheWahine

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents didn't really talk to me about their pasts until I hit about 19 and started seeing my fiance. He was a badass, and is exactly who my dad was 25/30 years ago, so it makes my parents re-live the glory days. It was right after the first time I bought my own pot that my man and I smoked up with my parents. A few days after that, when mom wasn't around, he told me and the man about how wild he was when he was in college and after he graduated.

Now we smoke with my parents like once or twice a week. When one of us doesn't have money for pot, and the other has it, we borrow from each other. Now my parents use my dealer. We don't even keep doors in the bedrooms and stuff closed if we're gonna smoke, we walk back and forth with it like it's nothing illegal or something like that.

I think I have totally groovy parents. My mom was a disco queen and my dad was a hippie. Now I'm a bigger hippie than my dad. I love it.

They never told me anything else about their lives before me though. The sex thing, my mom and I had the talk when I was like 8 or 9, and almost never again until lately. They know since all four of us live together, that things go on. And she knows that if I need advice on something, even sex, I can go to her.

They don't know that I've blown a lot of rails in my past, and probably will again in the future. If she knew that I did anything other than smoking pot, she'd probably die of shame and shock.

When it comes to my own kids, I don't think I'll tell them about how their dad was a major pot head, then a major coke head and a big drinker before he met me. And I won't tell them (or anyone else, for that matter) about how much sex I've actually had, and how many people it's been with. My kids don't need to know that. I won't shun them from sex, but they will learn how to be safe. And as for drugs, I think I'm gonna be like my Father-in-Law, and just be happy with the kids experimenting with pot or other things while they are in the safety of their own home.

It is amazing with the in-laws. They don't really care what her sons and daughters do, as long as they don't become a total druggie, and as long as their safe. It has been extended to every other person we've brought into the house, but with me, my MIL still thinks I'm an angel. No pot, no coke, no pills, no alcohol.

Ah, if only the parents knew how fucked up we are on a regular basis.

My kids will never know how much I liked it, just that I did it, but didn't go over the top with it. That I did it while I knew I was safe. Stuff like that.

Sorry for that being so long and maybe TMI, but it's been a while since I commented on something as important as this.

Leigh81387

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> you know what's awkward? knowing how many people your mom has had sex with (a very small number)

you know what's more awkward? knowing that you have had sex with way way waaaaaaaaaay more people that she has.

onedivinehammer

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> It is hard to say if things would be different if my mom had kept her HS self, well, to herself. She was bascially an open book, and I definantly found out things I didn't want or need to know from that woman. She told me everything from her first time doing drugs to my fathers.... size (yeah.. thanks for that picture mom). Based on the tramatizing effect of T.M.I., I decided a LONG time ago to keep my past in my past and out of my sons stash of bad mental images.

tatianakyrrn

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I checked out a book at the library when I was a teen that was all about the medical aspects of various illegal drugs. It wasn't propaganda--just facts about how drugs affect your body, short-term and long-term side effects, etc. That book convinced me to stay off hard drugs and alcohol and keep focusing on marijuana. Didn't dissuade my use, but helped me make better choices. My mom was straight-edge and my dad used to hang out with beatniks in San Francisco so I guess I'm a blend of potential recreational use and abuse. Anyway, my son's getting a book like that when he's a tween. Happy reading, son.

LisaMc

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> How gross is it when parents tell their kids how they were conceived? No offense to any of you whose parents told you that, but EWWW. I would not be able to look in the mirror without thinking about my conception and vomiting.

ronaldpagan

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Archetype: My dad had stories about people tripping balls and beating cars with bats because they were giant turtles. People locking themselves in closets and clawing at their skin because the Viet Cong had given them "bugs that eat you from the inside out." He explained, " I was in the military, I was being sent off to die...we took anything that was given to us."

I stayed farrrrr away from a lot of shit.

FatBottomedGirl

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents were open about sex and I waited a long time to have it. On booze and drugs, they drank and used to throw pretty wild parties when I was young. They made it really clear (without giving any specifics) that they'd tried it all and knew all the tricks, so they would know if we were up to something bad. I didn't drink or smoke pot until my senior year of high school, so it seemed to work out well. Now my mom tells us their crazy stories, but not until my youngest brother was out of college.

LadyPants

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @southernbitch:

I'm US-government approved for some strange reason. I've passed the security clearance for the US Military, the CIA, and the White House Communications Service when I was an interpreter - in fact, I got picked for these jobs because my colleagues who had seniority didn't make it. I always thought that the fact my dad was a communist would have blocked me somehow. Strange.

Jan74

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I find it absurd when parents, especially "reformed" parents, don't tell their children about their pasts. Granted, certain things remain best unsaid. My unbelievably Christian Aunt will not tell her children about the ridiculous amounts of drugs she used to do, boyfriends she used to beat up, how many times she was arrested, etc. Same goes for my Christian boyfriend and his reformed Father. Perhaps they think they'll (their kids) will take it as an okay to do those things, instead of a learning lesson? But to counter that, why not present it as such? Why not say: "Hey. Yeah, I did that shit, but look. It got me nowhere. All it did is cause me misery, etc." And to further my point, my boyfriend and my two cousins are drinking underage (well I don't know about the drugs with my female cousin, but she was caught sneaking out of the house at 4 a.m. with her boyfriend...) and doing drugs. And my boyfriend uses the excuse of 'Well I know my Dad drank, but he's never talked to me about it, so...'

And my Dad? They had a very profane nickname for him that involved his name, and a certain drug. When we were younger, he told us he didn't want us smoking pot and whatnot, but when we came of age, he knew we were doing it, asked us about it, told us it was cool to talk to him about it, and since then, we've (my sister and I) have known that if we've ever gotten ourselves into a bind with anything drug or alcohol related we could go to him. He was a safe haven. And now, dealing with my addictions with such, he's been my biggest supporter. I don't blame him for me not being in control on my shit. He warned me, and I chose not to listen. But he was there for me the second I needed help, and that's all I could ever ask for.

So yes. I personally think it's a parents responsibility to a degree to tell their child(ren) what they did when they were their age. So then they can take their own life steps to becoming who they want to be. But it's up to the parents, really.

raleigh likes swaddling

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I think it's okay to tell your kids some of the basic things you did, but there's definitely no obligation. And there is NO reason, ever, to tell your kids graphic specifics about your sex life or drug use; that is just gross.

On a side note, my mom recently told me she tried coke in college. So every time I start thinking cocaine is hip or edgy, I just think of my mom doing blow in a Harvard dorm room and crying to Joni Mitchell.

ronaldpagan

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Xavoc: That... doesn't really work. We did that with my 17 year old brother and he has already started binge drinking. The allure of drinking with friends is a much different one than that beer at the family dinner table.

rocknrollunicorn

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Oh my gosh, there are certain things I will take to the GRAVE with me. I don't even like to think about them. No way am I telling my children or parents about anything PG-13 or worse unless it's for a serious medical reason!! I almost died of embarrassment when I had to ask my Mom to mail me my birth control at age 24. That being said, I heard a few stories from my parents about being young and doing silly things after drinking a little too much wine that I found charming.

ZinniaZ

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Sorry if anyone has mentioned this already, but anyone who thinks its a great idea to be completely honest with their kids about their own teenage risk-taking read the book Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. The one parenting tip I took away from that book was do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to become your teenager's friend instead of his or her parent.

samiamiamsam

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @ineffable.me: Not true. If my parents ever did anything REMOTELY not kosher, they didn't tell me and I sure don't know. I felt like I had to live up to them all the way through high school. I never kissed a boy, had a drink, or tried any drugs, and I was a pretty happy kid who was quite successful with school and so on. I still feel that urge to live up to them, but I've decided they wouldn't be too horrified about my drinking on Saturday nights or messing around with my boyfriend. No, I wouldn't tell them, but that doesn't mean they're bad parents.

jammiriffic

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Honestly my relationship with my parents is so fraught with insanity, I have no idea if their oversharing has made me the mess I am today.

I do not think it is hypocritical to hide things about yourself. They are your children, not your friends. It's nice to humanize yourself with a story or two, but seriously, life is not a reality television show. And also, please don't go on a reality show if you plan on having kids.

rocknrollunicorn

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I know very little about my mom in her late teens and early 20s. Hints from my aunts seem to indicate that she was a bit of a wild child. Which I totally believe. She did grow up in NYC in the 60s and 70s and told me once that she went to studio 54.

Other than that she maintains that she never did anything "wrong or immoral" in high school or college. Which is fine. I really prefer not talking about sex or drugs with my mother. I just don't want to know.

Drinking is another story. We're old school eastern europeans on my mom's side. We will drink any excuse we get.

RetroChristal

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents waited to confess their youthful rebellion until I was in my 20's. That said, they made it abundantly clear that they were not clueless old farts -- they still remembered being teenagers and thus knew every trick I could possibly be up to.

I tried the "Dude, I did coke once and let me tell you, Don't Even Think About It!" method with my youngest brother. Failed miserably (though he didn't get any more messed up than anyone else ever does). I'm pretty sure kids are going to do what they're going to do, regardless of what you did and what you tell them.

Now that I'm in my late 20's, however, my dad and I smoke pot together, and my mom and I have been known to go out to lunch and finish a bottle of wine apiece.

kakinston

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> but wouldn't it just set you up for a mightier fall when your kids do find out you're not a saint? i mean, with teenagers, the reason there's so much tension between them and their parents, because for many of them this is the time when your mom stops being a Saint and becomes a human being. and yes, human beings have faults, so why cover your past up? it's like you don't have any faith in your children.

dashenbka

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> If parents hide things they still do from their kids, the kids will find out. Caught my dad smoking cigarettes in 6th grade and found his stash of weed and coke when I was 16. Kids are curious... that's why I had to try smoking up and have been a steady stoner ever since.

Maybe I'm too young to decide this, but I would like to be a chill mom who lets her kids to pretty much anything as long as they keep their grades up.

mmmfreckles

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> the best part was the time they thought I had sex because dad found one of THEIR way-expired price club condoms under the couch. nice try, guys!

moesis

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom told me straight out: before she met my dad she never had sex, she smoked one cigarette [for a play], never did drugs but drank a helluva lot until she stopped.
Dad: No idea, but he's also got a secret government past.
Me: No drugs, no booze, no sex and in college.

scaram0uche

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I think my parents chose the right path in that they were honest but never elaborated, exept upon how stupid it was. Example, "Mom, how old were you when you started smoking?" "17. It was really, really stupid. Now I can't quit."

"Dad, did you ever smoke pot?" "I spent every weekend of 1969 at the Filmore. What do you think? It was stupid and made me nausious."

SO, yeah, it worked for us because some of the stuff is really obvious and better to tell the truth than look really dumb and ineffective by being caught in the lie. At the same time, your kids don't need the details, they don't really want the details they want any guidance that came from your experience, whether they admit it or not.

lumenatrix

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I don't understand the need of parents to, "Come clean and be honest" with their children. Parents not correcting their children because they did the same thing as teenagers is not only
moronic but negelictful.

My father smoked more weed then I ever in life will be able and was an alcholic. If I ever called him out on it I would have been beaten within in an inch of my life, picked up, given a kiss and told me that he loved me but what he does is none of my damn business. My mother was his complete opposite and a saint but if I would have called her a hypocrit on anything the same thing would have happened. The rules are the rules and it's about the children never about the adults, especially when it's about a teenager that's in trouble.

You don't need to explain a single thing in your life before they were born to your children especially while they're still being provided for by you.

You don't argue with teenagers and you don't try to reasons with infants but for some reason that seems to be lost on this country in the past generation.


Final

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @youareasleep: I could have written your post myself! (Although I have to cop to a couple of nights of cocaine. NOT a good idea.)

And to this: "I always thought taking a stance where flat out lie to your kids about what you've done or just tell them to "just say no" was a recipe for failure. Because the first time a kid raised like that smokes pot or tries some other drug and does not immediately die/become an addict/experience some horrible event they are going to think you lied about the dangers and that all anti-drug messages are full of shit", I say, "EXACTLY!"

Be honest. It has worked for me. When they ask a question and get an honest answer, they'll trust you and let you in to help guide them through some of the tough stuff.

I'll never forget a few years back when my nine year old daughter embarassedly asked me what a blow job was. She had heard it on the bus, knew it was "bad", but didn't know what it was. I told her. She was horrified and said "I will NEVER do that!". I laughed, and it led to a great conversation. We still have great conversations, and she is 14. My 15-year-old son, too.

Good luck! Sounds like you're doing a great job imho.

ItchykooParker

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @LinaLamont: everyone's on a list somewhere. for a little while i was thinking about trying to join the civil service and work in the diplomatic core, and then a prof. of mine who also worked for the cia told me how ridiculously thorough their vetting is. i've had a lot of shady friends in my past (black bloc anarchist kids, elf and alf kids) and i'm not sure i woiuld clear it. so that's why i work in nonprofits.

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> In terms of sex honesty, there is only one thing my parents did that bugged me. My mom was honest about everything, from what sex was (explained when I was 9) to what her favorite position was (oral sex, explained when I was 14). But she didn't disclose the fact that she'd had an abortion until we were having the whole talk about me having just lost my virginity. Telling me then, rather than during any of her previous overshares, made it feel more like a scare tactic than anything else. But then again, she has only ever been with my dad (and they're still married), so at least it was less "don't sleep around" and more "make sure you know what you're getting into because accidents can happen."

I asked her if her abortion meant that I wasn't an only child after all. She said that I was the only one she wanted.

Juba

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mother was quite the free-spirited hippie when she was younger and by the time I was in middle school I knew every drug she had done (weed, LSD, speed).
She even once told me that "I should have known my fiancee (her then college professor) was no good after I had that awful speed experience with him."

I cant tell you how much I love my parents honesty. Since I was a child I always hated when people lied to me and would never forgive someone for willfully decieving me. My parents trusted me to make my own decisions and always let me know that they would come and pick me up from any party at any time. (And at 23 I have yet to try LSD or speed or sleep with any of my college professors.)

@southernbitch: Your parents sound awesome! My mom to this day thinks she is on some secret watch list from the Nixon years.


LinaLamont

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents came clean to me about their (ongoing) pot smoking when I was 18, and all I remember is one very, very strong though, bell-clear in my head: You mean, I didn't have to sneak around?! My little sister got to enjoy a high school life of smoking with friends in the basement without a care in the world, whereas I once thought I was going to die because we were smoking weed late at night in the woods across from my house and a MAN wearing a SKI MASK and carrying a GIANT UNLIT LANTERN (there had been a crafts fair there earlier that day) came up and demanded ID. Seriously, I thought he was going to shoot us -- turns out he was breaking down the crafts fair (with other people) and thought we were trying to steal shit. And to think, I could've just brought my friends up to my room...

My parents, I know, have experimented heavily with acid and shrooms, and even coke, though they have always preferred and only continue to use weed. I don't think it has effected me negatively ever; in fact, I think I've been content to be only a semi-wild-child because I haven't felt the need to either rebel seriously against my parents, nor the impetus to top them. Honesty is key, as long as you wait until they're old enough to really understand.

I do think it's hilarious that my parents raised me and my sister stoned, though. Casts an entirely new light on old home movies.

stoprobbers

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BillyPilgrimisnotmylover: not very long, perhaps a day or two.

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> yep! so when i, in a similar situation, got detained by the DEA and riot police during a demonstration, he thought it was funny and was very supportive in general.

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I am going to let my husband handle the drug talk. He saw what pot did to his dad and it scared him away from drugs permanently and alcohol until he was 23. Me, I was a sheep. The best I can offer is "Pot is a nice high but it's not worth risking an arrest. Wine gets the job done, and you don't have to have a dealer (or a sketchy boyfriend)." Yes, I will teach my kids to avoid drugs through cost-benefit analysis.

Meanwhile, my mom rarely drinks and I don't think she dated anyone seriously until my dad. I am quite sure she had nothing to hide from me. Except maybe an A- in school at some point.

fol_de_rol

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @southernbitch:
That was even better than it initially sounded. How long was he in jail, if you don't mind me asking?

BillyPilgrimisnotmylover

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @ItchykooParker:

Thanks, that's some validation for my plans. I always thought taking a stance where flat out lie to your kids about what you've done or just tell them to "just say no" was a recipe for failure. Because the first time a kid raised like that smokes pot or tries some other drug and does not immediately die/become an addict/experience some horrible event they are going to think you lied about the dangers and that all anti-drug messages are full of shit. At least that's what I thought. Better to be honest and real. I like you, have a past that I survived, for the most part was a lot of fun, and I came out OK, but the bottom line is I wasted a lot of time, money, and the only reason I didn't become a tragedy was the fact that I didn't do meth or heroin or coke. However, I saw those drugs to horrible things to people I deeply cared about.

youareasleep

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @southernbitch: I love your dad too. Holy motherfuckin shit, that is AWESOMENESS!!

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @southernbitch: Your dad is awesome.

Ipomoea

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BillyPilgrimisnotmylover: oh god, if only. no, my dad got press passes into a conference hoover was holding and proceeded to ask about secret government plans to put dissidents in concentration camps, who else besides the black panthers were targeted for assasination, and then called him a fascist pig and ripped up his draft card. i love my dad.

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BillyPilgrimisnotmylover: Hispanic Pippi? Oddly, that is pretty accurate as people genuinely like her and she has a following despite her analrenality.

echoparkgal

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> When I was a kid, my mom shared with me the journal she kept while she drove across the country in an RV with some friends in the early '70s. Many of the entries were peppered with the words "...then we ate some Oreos..."

I remember thinking, "Man, my mom sure liked those sandwich cookies!" It was not until I was in my late teens that she told me "Oreos" was the code-word for "marijuana" -- in case her parents ever read the journal.

Maybe someday I'll tell my (theoretical) children about all the cases upon case of Oreos I've eaten in my day...

WorkingWino

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Sweet Jesus, if I did even half the things my parents have confessed are in their past to me, I would be most likely dead. Things that my parents did "countless times" are, for the most part, things I've done once or twice or not at all, at least in the "illicit substances" dept. If either parent said anything about their sex lives to me, even now, I would die of mortification. I'm just going to assume Mom slept with her high school boyfriend and a couple others before Dad, because I NEVER WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

Though at Easter brunch this year, my mom had too many mimosas and told me about the time she tried PCP.

Yep, never gonna out-drug my mom.

Ipomoea

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom still has yet to give me a sex discussion, my dad has told me vague stories about the terrors of binge drinking, and my grandma has told me in a delighted voice about the lovely keggers they used to have during Prohibition. I like grandma the best.

magiciannamedgob

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @southernbitch:
Ok, well, now I totally want to hear about verbally assaulting J. Edgar Hoover. Did they call him a "tranny mess"?

BillyPilgrimisnotmylover

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Archetype: My mom always samples fruit in the produce section. myself - i'm squeamish about unwashed food. However, she did march my brother and I back to the cashier to fess up on our stolen bag of lemon drops. I didn't do it but I had to apologize for him cuz I was watching him and he was 2.

echoparkgal

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Also, my mom had me just before her 20th Birthday. I am a product of her HS "bad stuff," lol. And she couldn't be prouder.

I was very happy when I passed the 20 yr mark with no babies or pregnancies. I was scared it was genetic. ;)

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Xavoc: Okay, yeah, that's a lot worse. Jeez.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> personally, i am going to raise my children so far away from modern society that they will have no frame of reference due to their complete lack of contact with others. genius!

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mother lies casually and frequently now and always has. This made me hate lying.

There's stuff I don't want to tell my kids. I just tell them that, flat out. They can draw whatever inferences they like. They are smart kids (I hope!)

arodriguez.romero

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mother was honest about all the things she did, and I was a goody-goody. I won't have to lie about anything, but I wonder if the whole "opposites" thing will come to bite me in the ass.

My husband never tried drugs or drank while underage (hell, we don't drink at all... champagne at weddings), but I'm not sure where I stand on full disclosure of how young he was when he lost his virginity. Lie, tell it as a "don't do what I did" cautionary tale, or tell it with the "it was a different time" qualifier?

Jan74

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @echoparkgal: I once took a cherry and ate it at the supermarket and my mom made me bring the pit up to the register to pay for it.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @echoparkgal:
Your mom sounds like a hispanic version of Pippi Longstocking. I hope you take that as an awesome compliment, as I intended.
Weird how those communion wafers get the confession juices rolling, huh?

BillyPilgrimisnotmylover

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents were not really into drugs in the 60's--it was much more of a binge alcohol thing with them--but neither of them was afraid to let us know about their youthful antics...my dad was a bit of an expert at totalling his parents' cars while drunk driving and being bailed out of jail by his kindly old neighbor, and my mom would go to bars at 16 and meet professional sports stars who would do things like drink champagne out of her platform shoes (and who knows what else). They weren't really proud of their pasts, and tried their best to discourage us through the whole "you should learn from my mistakes" mantra, but really only told us because they didn't want us to hear about it from their friends or siblings. As it turns out, neither of my brothers nor I ever really got into drugs ourselves, but we all had periods of raging alcohol binges in high school and college, with related slightly criminal behavior, so my parents basically failed at discouraging us by example.

victorinemeurent

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @youareasleep: I follow that recipe pretty closely, too - honesty but not a lot of personal disclosure, and they believe me, because I haven't lied to them. They don't honestly ask that many questions about my personal experiences. If they ask me something I'm not comfortable answering, I'd tell them that and redirect slightly, talking about the subject without talking about my personal experience with it. We can do that later if they want.

My kids are teens now, and it's worked very, very well for me. I had a VERY adventurous adolescence, with drugs, sex, rock and roll and alcohol. A few things I'm sorry I did, most I'm not at all sorry about. I am honest with them about drugs and their effects (stupid-ass DARE program, pot is NOT equally as bad as heroin or caffeine). For instance, trying some wine or beer won't kill you, but driving or getting into a car with someone who has, EASILY COULD. They have a free pass to call me ANYTIME and get no hassles whatsoever if they want to be picked up. We will talk the next morning, though. But I keep my cool, and they are great. I know it's possible that they're hiding things, but I grew up in the 70s - it would be hard to do something (except heroin or meth) that I haven't already tried and know the signs.

Party on, Garth.

ItchykooParker

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> oh man. my parents did fuck up by telling me the shit they did. like stealing cars while drunk. verbally assaulting j. edgar hoover (and going to jail for it!) stealing giant antlers from a radom house. getting stoned and watching the nixon resignation. going to art school. so by the time started doing similar things, i really didn't get punished. thanks mom and dad! love y'all and your wacky ways!

southernbitch

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @lolacat: i agree. i kinda address that in the first half of that, though. :)

my point wasn't to say that parents should discuss the irresponsible choices with their children. i do, however, think it's odd and annoying that people think it's hypocritical to tell someone not to do something just because they used to do it.

maybe that was slightly off-topic.

and maybe i was just unusually uninterested in getting into trouble. i just found it easier to listen to people who'd done stupid things before who could give me examples of messed up things they experienced, as opposed to my aunt telling me about what happened to those people she saw on tv.

robot ninja spy, of the guild of calamitous intent

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I will lie and lie and lie. There is no way I'm telling my daughter about all of the crazy, fucked up things I did in my teens, twenties and even early 30's. In fact, my daughter was conceived on mushrooms - not telling her that either. I continue to pray that "wild-childness" skips generations (like some diseases)

Elaine
www.icouldkillher.com


Elaineggc

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BillyPilgrimisnotmylover:
My mother must still be riding high from Sunday's mass and communion ingestion because she was really honest with me just now. She was pretty daring growing up! She stole lots of fruit it seems: melons, soursop, craboo, cashews, bananas, pineapples, papayas and sugarcane. She rarely got busted because people admired how she could avoid punishment by hanging out in the trees for hours.

echoparkgal

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @blackbirdfly: Oh, also...when I was about 16, my dad once took me on a drive and told me about all the pot (or as he put it, "marijuana") he smoked in Vietnam and how he paid for his niece's abortion when she was 18 to keep it from his parents, who would have killed them. But I definitely didn't see that as him giving me permission to do either, nor did it make me want to go right out and get high or have an abortion or anything. I think he just felt like sharing some things he felt sort of guilty about as a dad?

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Sometimes I don't need to know what my parents did. My mom told me a couple of things that my dad did while he was in the military, and even though I was an adult, really, it was TMI. And my dad is really pretty straight-laced and nerdy!

I will also confess that my mom's stories about "leaving a party if she even SMELLED pot" (she was an overprotected immigrant who was new to the US) did influence me. I didn't go that far, but I have cheerfully been the only person who wasn't high or drunk at a party. So let me not pretend that it wasn't in the back of my mind during these kinds of situations. Even if I stayed.

feminaformosa

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @blackbirdfly: I dated a gal whose mother introduced her to her lover at the age of 4 and said, "If you ever tell your father you'll be a worthless tattletale and we will both disown you forever."

Of course, this same "lover" was also married and at one point tried to sexually assault her. To which her mother said, "Well we all have to forgive and forget."

Xavoc

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @WaltzingMatilda: I have a bunch of the gingham half aprons with handy pockets if you're interested. No, not from my fetish collection, but from my Methodist grandmother.

They give me the heebie-jeebies.

julienne

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> What is wrong with lying, at least until you think the kid can handle some aspect of the truth? And honestly, why the need to be honest? Unless you had a delibitating substance abuse problem which led to addiction issues, anyone's drug experimentation stories aren't going to do any good convincing kids to not try drugs. Why not just say - drugs are illegal if you do them i WILL FIND OUT and i will unbirth you. If you survive that then you'll be grounded and all internet, video, tv, life and outside sources of media will be taken away until you're 40.
why get into a whole discussion? be a parent...declare, threaten and parent.


bonnilicious

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @lolacat: Well, that's just the thing, is my feeling. I was lucky as hell. My sister, who spent her sophomore year in high school pregnant and gave up her baby (by her own choice), was not so lucky, and we all had to face those consequences, not just her. What kids do with what you tell them is all in the phrasing.

My nephew will be 11 this summer and I still wonder about him. I think we all do. Mr. JB's favorite boy name was the same as my nephew's, and I had to tell him that we couldn't use it because it would hurt my mother too much. I wonder if he has a good life, if he'll ever want to find us. It's hard.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I don't think there would have been any point in my mom telling me or lying to me about the "bad" stuff she did in high school, considering the fact that she has been drunk for most of my life and has been dating a married man for about ten years now.

Jeez, that sounded harsh, huh?

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @hharlowe: and a typo. wave of guilt.

hharlowe

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom came to the US at 15 and worked as a nanny and maid. She was a goody goody who never drank or smoked and worked to help out my grandparents and 11 aunts and uncles. My dad was a band geek who worked as a mailman when he met her. He went into the army as a metorologist. He drank but never much and he certainly never did drugs. They were very much virgins on their wedding night.
My brother and i are the COMPLETE opposite.
I see my son now and I know he will be a hellion. I better brace myself.

SpicyTamale πβɸ

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> moms/dads: please let your kids know you aren't perfect!

mine never did and i even though i know better now, my guilt for not being "perfect" is almost overwhelming.

hharlowe

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My mom told me that she threw a kegger in high school but took everyone's keys beforehand and made everyone who was too drunk sleep over. My dad told me about how he got straight A's even though he had to walk five miles uphill both ways in the snow.

bansaiiiiii

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Archetype: "On the Edge" where Regina does her first line of coke and dies of heart failure. I think I cackled during that one.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @FatBottomedGirl: Yeah, and weed should not be illegal. My BF's dad grew it when he was in high school, and we're talking about doing it ourselves. Although, I don't really like pot all that much. All the shit I like is bad news and I've given it up.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I remember when my parents admitted to smoking pot on a family car trip after my younger sister got curious & thought hey, this would be a good time to ask. As if family car trips weren't already uncomfortable enough.

marin79

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @FatBottomedGirl: My dad scared the shit out of me about coke when he told about that basketball player who was 19 and dropped dead after taking a line.

I still ended up a bit of a cokehead for awhile, but this wasn't until my mid-20's.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @redheadedstepchild:

Both my parents are teachers...I'm a bud!!

AFever

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> It has become increasingly clear that I was not a normal child. I knew all about my parents crazy hippie days and thought it was cool and hilarious. (sample quote: "Your dad and I tried Quaaludes once; they just made him really tired.") When I was 14, my mom told me she lost her virginity at 15 and offered to get me birth control whenever I wanted it (I didn't end up needing it till college).
I was never tempted to do anything naughty above and beyond the usual high school trial-and-error crap, and I'm pretty darn normal now.
Parents, if you think your kids are mature enough to handle it, tell them whatever you want. If not, obviously, don't!

TheGintheCity

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @DinaRonson: My parents had sex two times....once for me and once for my brother. THAT IS IT.

I never ever ever want to know about their life before kids.
EWWWWWWWWWW. GROSS. STOP.

And I guess as far as other stuff goes, my mom and dad were pretty open about drinking and stuff and about friends doing drugs (and dealing and going away for 20 years), but always in the context of we had to find another crowd b/c that wasn't us. Judge them uncool if you want, but at least they showed us that they could be someone and not part of a crowd. And until we were about 18, they didn't drink in front of us at all.


randomthoughts

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @hamburgerhotdog: that is the best story ever. I may use it tonight when i tuck my son into bed.

SpicyTamale πβɸ

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @Xavoc: That was how it was in our house. I never drank socially with friends until I was 23. And I never had to steal alcohol at home because I was allowed to have wine with Sunday dinner. We're French...drinking is a family social activity, and I don't mean that in any ironic we're-all-lushes sort of way. It was just never an issue.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I was a dream child all the way through high school. I never did anything my parents could've objected to. On the other hand, they were both very honest with me about what they'd done.

The first time my mother actually told me an anecdote from her sex life, I was in my 30s, and I swear just writing that out made me shudder up a cold sweat all over. I can't imagine how badly I'd have reacted to that conversation in my teens, but then I doubt she would've been so candid then.

Sunflowercat

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BlondeGrlz: hahahaha!!! that's the funniest story ever!

kami2000

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My dad was brutally honest with me about hard drugs. He was a better preventative than any school education. My parents didn't divulge any information unless the need was presented. My parents are human, and my dad partied with the Doors in CA. I am very lame by comparison to my father. He was very late 60s and very, very, very cool.

I am taking a need to know basis. I am very frank about issues like pot. The truth is POT is not bad (IMO) but unfortunately it is illegal.

All of my friends whose parents pretended to be biblical characters
ended up bugfuck crazy.

FatBottomedGirl

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @misssgolightly: @MissCricket:

There must be a happy medium, but I had a mother who was both an oversharer and a hypocrite and that, my dears, is the worst.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Oooh- story of your past coming to bite you in the ass. I relocated and went for an interview in St. Louis (hometown where everyone knows your high school class...). One of the partners (younger) interviewed me and recognized my last name. The interview went well. On my way home, I called my sister to find out if this acquaintance would help or hinder my chances for the job (trust me- this is my older sister). Her reply: "OMG, he used to be my dealer! My old roommate gave him the clap!"

lolacat(ΩΜ)

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @echoparkgal: My mom got an 80% on an exam. ONE exam. That is all she will cop to doing. And even that, she told me when I was in university.

kami2000

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BillyPilgrimisnotmylover:
heh. i'm calling my mom right now to see if melons can be added to the list.

echoparkgal

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Be honest, but be age- and maturity-appropriate. My parents could have revealed all to me at 16 only to be met with my custom casual indifference, but my sis would have taken shuc revelations as permission to do the same.

Know your kids. Some kids can handle it, others cannot.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @lesspopmorefizz: Yes! Teach your children good judgement, and then they will make their own decisions. I know I would have gotten in BIG trouble if I'd been arrested for drunk driving or something in high school, but if I wanted to stay over at a friend's house, my mother left it alone and didn't pry.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> I guess I'm clear...the worst thing I ever did in high school was have a lot of sex, and that would squick my kids out too much to know anyhow. I remember being shocked to hear of my mother sharing a bottle of cheap wine of a Saturday night with her girlfriends when she was in college. I already had known she was a virgin until she was married. But my absolute favorite story of hers is that in high school, she hid a pack of cigs in her dresser drawer to practice in case she ever found herself in a situation where smoking was called for, so she wouldn't look stupid when smoking. My mother is a lifelong nonsmoker, and I can't imagine what sort of situation she envisioned, but I've always thought that was rather charming of her.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> Starting at the age of 10, my mother told me all the bad stuff she did when she was younger (doing drugs, going out with drug dealers, doing more drugs, smoking up with terminal ill cancer patients, feeding my older sister pot brownies, sleeping with married guys and having an eating disorder.)

After some thought I thought it was the right route to be the nerdiest girl in my high school

Skipping Toward Jaded

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> @BlondeGrlz: I just spit my water all over my laptop - I'm sure someone out there is saying "oh yeah, I could sure light his campfire" or "I'd like to carve a bear out of that branch".

Boy Scout pickup lines. A whole new level of wrong...

farmersdaughter

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My dad was this weird combination of really strict/religious but at heart a sex maniac (eventually he dropped the religious and just became an adulterous sex maniac, but that's another story).

He told me not to have sex before marriage, but he also told me that after he and my mom got married, they had sex every day, including period sex.

As you can imagine, I killed myself and this is my ghost posting this anecdote.

layladylan

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> As I recall, my parents ran a "don't ask, don't tell" household. My sister and I knew we weren't allowed to do the bad stuff (drinking, drugs, sex) but my parents never pried enough to find out that we were actually doing all that stuff. And in our attempts to hide it, we never over-indulged. Now that we're grown-up, we talk openly about fun high school drinking stories and the like.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School]]> My parents must not have collaborated on their "What's Okay to Tell the Kids" stories, because I got very mixed messages.

On the one hand, my (