Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More? - Jezebel Comments

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

kami2000 — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:36:52 EDT

I love Dolly. She's one of my feminine and feminist idols. She can sing about whatever she wants and there's nothing wrong with Intelligent Design. If there was a creator, she could have created science.

kami2000

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Cfredl54 — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:54:52 EDT

The song is actually about the importance to Dolly of both Spirituality and Reality. Thats what she said at the VA concert. I call serious bullshit on ANYONE who thinks she was coming out in favor of intel. design, creationism, evolution or anything else. Moe, Dolly is a true christian and there is nothing wrong with that.

Cfredl54

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

graham_but_not_a_cracker — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:11:27 EDT

@lolacat: Preach it!

graham_but_not_a_cracker

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:01:37 EDT

Interesting - Thanks! I can see the idea of God as a micromanaging boss comporting fairly well with certain forms of Christianity. I, on the other hand, prefer him to be looking the other way (or shopping on Ebay)while I steal His post-it notes and gel pens. I'm a heathen and mostly resigned to it (can you tell?). I'll have to read about it somewhere other than Wikipedia (heh!).

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Brigit — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:52:46 EDT

@lolacat: You are confusing intelligent design with theistic evolution. In theistic evolution God basically set the rules and everything flows following, you know, normal physics/chemistry.
Intelligent design actually rejects the stochastic (random) manner in which physical and chemical processes are carried out in biological systems, and that lead to naturally evolving systems. It's like they need God to be this micromanaging boss, instead of a god.

Brigit

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:51:08 EDT

@inchworm: She isn't tolerant- I think the woman genuinely loves everyone. Dolly walks the walk in a true way that shames most Christians.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

inchworm — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:08:45 EDT

also, i fucking APPRECIATE her being religious and awesome.

where i'm from, if you're all pro-gay rights and pro-trans rights you're labeled as a commie-pink-god-killer.

the fact that traveling through is a GOSPEL song about transitioning is what gives her some legitimacy in these audiences.

she loves jesus AND she's tolerant, people. let's appreciate that, because it's gonna bring more people over to our side.

inchworm

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

inchworm — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:06:40 EDT

@myrtlebeachbum:

A-MEN

and praise dolly.

inchworm

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Private Hangnail — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:30:19 EDT

@thatsrealbutter: It's a pretty super shirt. I've received nothing but compliments on mine today.

Private Hangnail

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

AGreenEyeDevil — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:28:16 EDT

@SouthernSatine: I believe she is the only diety/saint worthy of a theme park! This woman does no wrong in my book!!

AGreenEyeDevil

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

MonkeySeeMonkeyDo — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:54:55 EDT

I adore Dolly. She can do and say whatever she likes.

MonkeySeeMonkeyDo

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

DorothyZbornak — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:54:27 EDT

@kisskisskiss: She's got a column on Radar's site: [www.radaronline.com]

DorothyZbornak

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Nunya B — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:44:24 EDT

This took a few minutes to puzzle out, but even before I understood the criticism I think my instinctive reaction was to say "Oh whatever, it's Dolly Parton, she can do whatever the hell she wants"- yeah.

@BowlingForDollars: What is Tionna up to right now? I miss her.

Nunya B

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:44:24 EDT

I've been loving Dolly for 45 years or so. Does my heart good to see you young'uns giving her her due. Maybe the world isn't really going to hell in a Louis Vuitton handbasket, after all!

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

thatsrealbutter — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:30:42 EDT

@SouthernSatine: I consider Dollywood my Mecca. Then again I'm wearing her face on my t-shirt. . .because she is sparkly and wonderful

thatsrealbutter

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:30:00 EDT

@elizabethfromabove: Because scientists hate Jesus. Last I checked, straight Jesus and straight science are pretty mutually exclusive- thus intelligent design.

Don't diss the Dolly. Jesus loves her.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

cheesywino — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:29:53 EDT

I remember when I was a kid and my mom told me she wore a wig. It was like finding out the Spanish language wasn't just people talking in tounges.
How can you not love the woman that says:

"I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park."
and
"I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes
because I know that I'm not dumb.
I also know I'm not blonde."

cheesywino

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

MsScarlet — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:28:26 EDT

I love me some Dolly! And anyone who gives free books to all the kids in Sevier County, TN (where Dollywood is located) is a saint in my book!

MsScarlet

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lucyjae — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:27:44 EDT

@SouthernSatine: If that is indeed the case, I have the messiah on my refrigerator in magnet form.

lucyjae

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

elizabethfromabove — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:24:11 EDT

Why are we still perpetuating Jesus and science as being mutually exclusive?! They pair pretty nicely, actually.

Also she looks like a glammed-up scarecrow.

elizabethfromabove

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

SouthernSatine — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:15:09 EDT

If Dolly = Deity, does Dollywood = Mecca? I submit that it does. I know it was a religious experience for me.

SouthernSatine

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

SpicyTamale — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:14:54 EDT

i love Dolly Pardon so much. She is really smart.
Sigh. I want some Dolly Love.

SpicyTamale

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:14:28 EDT

@TeenageGangDeb: Yeah- as far as I understand it, intelligent design does not reject evolution, per se. It basically inserts God into the blank spaces where science hasn't discovered the cause. So, what caused the Big Bang? Intelligent Designers would say God.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lucyjae — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:11:19 EDT

@TipsyRussell: That's pretty much all I could see when I saw her a couple of years ago, but it was still absolutely spectacular.

lucyjae

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

TeenageGangDeb — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:06:08 EDT

There's no such thing as a secular country music artist. If Dolly loves her some Jesus, I say go on with her bad self.

I don't really see how this song shows that Dolly rejects evolution, though.

TeenageGangDeb

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

kad9k — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:03:01 EDT

Dolly didn't write Jesus and Gravity, so I don't know that I'd read that much into it. She did write most of Backwoods Barbie, but my theory is she recorded J&G to have something really commercial to release as her first single. She's made no secret that she'd really like to get back on country radio.

kad9k

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Screwvenir — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:02:50 EDT

@wolf biter: 30 Rock! that was so funny

Screwvenir

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

wolf biter — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:01:03 EDT

Me! Me! I'll be at tomorrow night's show at the Borgata! I'll tell Dolly Jezebel says howdy!

@Screwvenir: Don't you mean "hill people milk?"

wolf biter

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

BowlingForDollars — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:51:07 EDT

Hard dick and bubblegum are to Tionna Smalls as Jesus and Gravity are to Dolly Parton.

BowlingForDollars

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Screwvenir — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:50:00 EDT

@lolacat: It is excruciating...I grew up near there. That it is dry makes the event more miraculous. Word...Jolene is my favorite song.

Screwvenir

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

TipsyRussell — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:46:43 EDT

I went to the show at Radio City last night and it was sooo great! She was wearing this white sparkly dress and played several instruments which were also all white and sparkly. I was in the second to last row at the top so pretty much all I could see was hair and sparkles. She's the best because she's campy AND a great singer and songwriter.

TipsyRussell

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

dummyfakeroller — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:46:36 EDT

I find nothing wrong with people believing in intelligent design mainly because that's what I believe. However, I will not go near that movie Expelled.

dummyfakeroller

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Lymed in Cali — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:46:34 EDT

@marykick: Dolly's been doing plastic surgery before it was trendy. Dolly doesn't look like other celebrities, the other celebrities look like Dolly.

Lymed in Cali

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

rednrowdy — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:46:32 EDT

@Saddletramp: agreed. a little jesus and gravity does everybody some good. that song makes me cry.

rednrowdy

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

DorothyZbornak — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:46:28 EDT

@myrtlebeachbum: Dollelujah!

DorothyZbornak

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

petuniacat — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:45:14 EDT

Whenever I think of Dolly Parton, I immediately also think of Polly Darton, the awesome, blond-wigged Sesame Street character.

[www.xmere.com]

petuniacat

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

AGreenEyeDevil — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:43:24 EDT

I think Dolly should be the patron saint of Jezebel!

AGreenEyeDevil

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:41:21 EDT

@Screwvenir: Jay-sus obvs doesn't love me enough to help me get shit-faced when I really needed the salvation of it. Branson is dry- trust me, I have spent a few excruciating weekends there.

Regardless, Dolly, herself, is a fucking miracle so I guess she is her own best evidence of intelligent design. (Jolene, anyone?)

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Jenloveshercurves — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:39:17 EDT

@KittenFluff: Personally, I like my Jesus battered, fried and covered in cheese or chocolate which they would also do in the south. Thank God (Dolly?) for southern culinary wonders.

Jenloveshercurves

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Saddletramp — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:38:32 EDT

Dolly Parton can honestly do no wrong in my book. She's a super lady.

Saddletramp

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

BowlingForDollars — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:38:10 EDT

Jesus, Take Dolly's Wheel!

BowlingForDollars

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

marykick — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:34:24 EDT

i love dolly parton. but for reals she doesn't look like a real person anymore. Go watch 9 to 5. She was so cute. Now she just looks like every other celebrity seeking the fountain of youth via the knife.

marykick

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

garrison-tequillor — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:32:57 EDT

There are a lot of hot black guys wearing parkas and some cute old ladies in the video!

garrison-tequillor

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lermanzo — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:31:12 EDT

@lermanzo: i think it was all the sparkle.

lermanzo

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

titania1285 — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:31:06 EDT

i love her laugh. it's genuine and i adore her.

titania1285

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Screwvenir — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:31:04 EDT

When I was a young child at Dolly's dinner theater in Branson Missouri, my water turned into wine. There is no other explanation...save for the hillbillies did it.

Screwvenir

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

KittenFluff — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:30:41 EDT

At first I read "Jesus and Gravy" and thought, "God, they put gravy on EVERYTHING down South!"

KittenFluff

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

brookidy — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:30:29 EDT

I love you Dolly, but please, give that wig a good washing. It might poke your eye out.

brookidy

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lermanzo — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:30:19 EDT

whatever. i love dolly parton. you can believe in both Jesus and science. they aren't mutually exclusive.

and i don't see what's so wrong with the way she looks. growing up in rural VA i thought that dolly, loretta, and pageants were about as glamorous as it got.

lermanzo

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lasaravis — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:29:49 EDT

@Screwvenir: In my book, Dolly Parton is God.

lasaravis

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

winner — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:29:31 EDT

@Screwvenir: Word.

winner

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

es-ki-mo — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:29:15 EDT

@Screwvenir: Is that The New TITStement?

es-ki-mo

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

ineffable.me — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:29:13 EDT

@Screwvenir: and so the space-time continnum explodes.

ineffable.me

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Kittenish — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:28:52 EDT

Dolly Parton is the SHIT. 'Nuff said!

Kittenish

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

OneMartiniAway — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:28:27 EDT

@Lymed: I find that endearing.

OneMartiniAway

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

myrtlebeachbum — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:27:31 EDT

Just a couple weeks ago, Dolly fed me a communion feast of butter and champagne.

myrtlebeachbum

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Screwvenir — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:25:31 EDT

In my book, Dolly Parton is Jesus.

Screwvenir

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Lymed in Cali — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:25:23 EDT

I heard Dolly interviewed once and she remembered going into town as a little girl, seeing the town tramp, and thinking she was the most glamorous woman.

Lymed in Cali

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Lady Skittlehattington — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:24:36 EDT

Dolly has always been a paradox. But that's what makes her amazing.

Lady Skittlehattington

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

katastic — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:24:07 EDT

If I had to look like Dolly Parton to be Dolly Parton, I would. Because even though it's not my aesthetic, Dolly is the best and everyone knows it.

katastic

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

lauralk3 — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:23:44 EDT

personally, i need waaaaaaaay more shit than jesus and gravity can provide.

unless jesus = beer, sushi, vibrators, and my cat. not all at the same time though, i hope.

lauralk3