<![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @tscheese: Right? Looks to me like she's just out having some slutty fun, judging by the number of men she's been 'linked' with since she split from Vince Vaughan. And why not? Maybe girlfriend really doesn't give that much of a shit about being single. I'd consider myself well rid of some Ken Doll who dumped me for the holier-than-thou dickweed that is Angelina Jolie....

Anointynointy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I recently bought the DVD "Primary Colors" which I've been enjoying over and over (best $7.00 I ever spent on Amazon). I mean, Jeezus, Elaine May wrote a brilliant screenplay! When I look at John Mayer what comes to mind is that line in PC that goes, "Our Jack has poked his pecker in some sorry trashbins."

And so he has.

Owlygirl

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Pepperoncina: Oh you are so right!! He made out with my (male) friend once....but...it was for a movie. It was hot.

ObtuseIntolerant

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch: Ooh good guess, I just assumed Zac Efron, though. I'll stand by that.

ObtuseIntolerant

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch: I think those are his real lips (Jayden's). I also think he looks a bit like Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. He's beautiful!

ilovejohnnythunders

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Blind item's gotta be Jim Sturgess. Innnnnteresting....

ChokingOnWhys

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @lalaland13: My Jessica is not a whore!! Daddy Simpson is the whore!!

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BeteNoir: nose job, i expect. another one. makes the cheekbones stand out.

@Kali Mama: i've had the same thought. especially the younger one.

StabbyMcStabberson

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: Oops, sorry for getting it wrong. So is it anything like a fag and hag at all? I mean, I believe you when you say it's hard to explain; just wondering if I was barking up the wrong tree.

@hypnotic: I will totally hate on any guy whose thing that is. Or if I don't hate on him, I sure as heck won't be dating him.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Goddamn, I am late to the party. I just had to add that Mr. Cruise looks suspiciously like Dieter on SNL (Mike Myers) in that cover photo. I am expecting some Scientology-inspired, German robot vogueing at any moment.

WaltzingMatilda

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> A "50 Ways To Fake Your Weight" story has tips like "wear black, wear Spanx and "wear heels."

I knew Tom Cruise's career was slipping, but I didn't know he was writing tips for OK.

Muzzy van Hossmere

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> NOMNOMPUPPEH.

Also...

Is it just me, or does it seem like Tom and Katie (or, sorry, Kate) are starting to look like each other?

She looks very weary.

N i s t h a

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: I have some info from a pretty credible source. Just sayin'.

mipsy6

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> BI = that Speedracer kid! Emile Hirsch!
Awww...so cute. Oh well.

Pepperoncina

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> God forbid 2 consenting adults have a weekend away. Jesus Christ.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Honestlee? I'yd rathr put werds on teh moddles.

Chris and the Roo say: LEAVE JEN ALONE!!!

P.S. Nicole, take da bebe to da club. Consider it a preemptive strike.

Plus, you can put away the royalties from the pictures for college!

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @SinisterRouge: both have contorted faces regardless.

AsianJ

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Jamie Lyn Spears - great grandma at 40.

PaintedTrollop

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Sorry, can't read though all the comments, so forgive me if this has already been clarified... but ladies... seriously... if this soft rockin' poster boy is now doing the Orlando Bloom-style "relationship" photo-op with Jennifer Aniston, he is, unquestionably, a mo-mo.

As in gay.

Dusty in the Wind

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> No one reads Ted Casablanca? (I wish I didn't.) John Mayer doesn't just like the showers anymore, he's moved along to more solid matters. Jen - GET OUT.

The Star cover looks like a picture of Portia & Ellen gone brunette to me.

ArmCandy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Something is odd about the Spears boys. It might be the photoshopping, but they look like they have FAS.

Kali Mama

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I can't remember which Jezzie asked about the John Mayer attraction, but I find him inexplicably hot. I mean, I know he's a skank and a douche, but I wouldn't turn him down if he asked.

pumpkinsoup

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Love the cupcake bit, want the puppies, and please for the love of God leave Lindsay and SamRon alone! They deserve the puppies and cupcakes for the stalking they have endured lately...enough!!!

AGreenEyeDevil

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BeteNoir: agreed. looks like some sort of cheek implants?? haaaaa.

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Between him and Justin Long, I'm going to start bringing my camera with me during the holidays when I'm in Fairfield Connecticut.

LVP

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @winnie the pooh: You totally said it before I could.

hellodarling!

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Is it just me or does Jennifer Aniston have a new face?

BeteNoir

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> john mayer sleeps with everyone. i'm even on the waiting list.

museormyth

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @VPea: I sip on Cris....you sip on piss. I really do wanna piss on you.

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: @jemandtheholograms: @denapsu: no you guys she said second date.

i dunno bange, the dog?

BritneyCanadaWhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Isn't Mayer's 15 minutes up?

nitney

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> FIRST!

she's obviously a needy, whiney, neurotic, attention freeeeeeeek that has to play out her life in public to find any kind of contentment or validation. if mayer wanted an uber-hot version of mediocre talent he'd keep hittin' jessica simpson. he'll be "going on tour" soon enough. poor jen. ha ha. this here internet is groovy. and it is not all porn like they told me. you can learn stuff. for reel.

noGenius

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BitchIsTheNewBlack: oh my god, I laughed out loud when I read your comment. I always thought your body is a wonderland was the #1 pantydropper song I've ever heard.

denapsu

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: a suitcase! am I right?

BadenBaden

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: A U-Haul!

jemandtheholograms

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @roodles: I wanna piss on you. dripdripdrip

VPea

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> John Mayer is the perfect little pass-around boy.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I've always considered John Mayer to be like a discount Johnny Depp.

SweetFancyMoses

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I'm sorry... wasn't Jessica Simpson already married first?

scrumtrulescent

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Of course Aniston is deperate for Perez Hilton's sloppy seconds.

TwiceShy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Is it just me, or does Katie Holmes look a whole lot the King of Pop on the cover of Star?

Vermonstrous

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @mipsy6: say it aint so.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> i guess johnny knoxville was hitting the bottom (c) alexyss k. tylor

he turned jessica out

:(
:)

hypnotic

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: A Uhaul

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @solidbrassfasteners:

Yeah, I thought the "across the universe" was kind of an anvil about it being Sturgess. 21 came out recently, too.

Meanmllemustard

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @VPea: "how quickly we forget Gigolo featuring R Kelly !!!"

speaking of golden showers...

roodles

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @ElleL: I am so, so sorry I just read that. EWWWW!

Kittenish

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I wonder if Liv Tyler and her hubby are the answer to this recent blind item:

2 - This singer of a very popular hard rock band is having his own marriage problems, but it is nothing his wife has done. It is more of what he has done, and so now in an effort to save his marriage to this famous offspring he is going to anger management classes and rehab."

Scooter34

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BritneyCanadaWhore: What do lesbians take on their second date?

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: Deal.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> And how exactly would they know about Liv's call to her lawyer?
Because, you know, if attorney client privilege is no longer sacred, then nothing, nothing will renew my faith in humanity. Not even puppies.


permafrost

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @JessicaLovejoy: More business juice, please!: and i'll take the red velvet cake from angelina and brad's "wedding"

BlueJeanBaby19

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I don't appreciate this week's rating system. It reminds be off all the cleaning my apartment needs. And I definitely don't come to Jez for that homemaker-nonsense.

Also: John Mayer douchiest douche ever (in person and in any form of media)

jemandtheholograms

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Blind item = Shia LaBeouf. For sure!

mipsy6

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @HoneyLush: Zac was my first thought too. He had a movie out somewhat recently didn't he?
I thought 36 hours without food and sleep was Marines boot camp. and the beginnings of brainwashing. same thing.


la_phantom_lady

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @ElleL: if there is a guy on this thread, can you tell us why men enjoy that? (Not to gross anyone out, but I'm genuinely mystified.)

brendastarlet

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Charlotte Corday, Miss Stabby Stabby 1793: And here's a blog all about the apparent "shower": [www.laineygossip.com]

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Heidi sending Posh cupcakes for a year cracks me the hell up! Like either one would go near one!

@VPea: I would also tell Tom Brady to FUCK OFF. He is a douchebag of the highest calibur as far as I'm concerned. (But he is a good QB.)

I still don't get John Mayer. He is just ICK to me.

Kittenish

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: @BAngieB: Okay- truce.

Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @gingerkhan: Muahahaha, love it!

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch: ha! reading is, like, so overrated.

as i said, clueless me! but now also illiterate. sad.

Polka.Your.Eyes.Out

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: don't worry bange, i get it.

also dudes? moving in together is possibly the lezziest thing they could do. i'll bet sam's spotted next at the home depot perusing countertop samples.

BritneyCanadaWhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: Re: "Straight Girlfriend" - I've BEEN the "straight girlfriend", and it's kind of the coolest sort of thing ever. If that's what LiLo and SamRo are rocking, then, rad.

They would have the cutest babies, though. Sigh.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @hortense: See, I wasn't even being rude...my comment was misread. Surely you know that if I was being rude it would be really mean and full of ugly talk.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Charlotte Corday, Miss Stabby Stabby 1793: There have been rumors floating for a while now that he loooves giving the golden shower.

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Little SP's hair on the cover made me smile. Something about feathered coifs (intentional or unintentional) makes me laugh...

m4mugatu

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: Dude, I wasn't being rude. You need to step back and read that again. And, anyway, whatever.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Polka.Your.Eyes.Out: Well, they mention a premiere, so it's got to be a film star. Has Prince Caspian/Narnia premiered in London yet? My money is on Ben Barnes, who is a hottie, but strikes me as a tad fey. Regardless, he's dark and brooding hotness.

hhpeterson13

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: @Philthyist is annoyed: Can't we all get along and be as sweet as Lilo and Sam?

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch: I don't want it to be Chaaaace! I want him to be my pretty Zac Efron substitute forever.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> here is my takeaway: blah blah blah cupcakes blah blah blah puppies.

Dessert and dogs = items of highest priority.

TwoScoops

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I'm just waiting for Posh to send Heidi a copy of her new book, "I'm MAY-JAH!, Your Fat" or a bunch of dresses in a size 12 in response.

TurdBlossom

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Also, I was tired of the "OMG JEN ANISTON IS SO TRAGIC" angle from basically ten milliseconds after she and Brad split.

She's a very successful actress and it's the brave year 2008. The 'bloids are always all, "Omg, will Jen find love, or WILL SHE TOTALLY BE HEARTBROKEN AGAIN because Brad brad brad BRAD NEVAR FORGET!!1?!"

Like she's not "complete" without a dude? Sheesh.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @reluctantwhore: Yeah, we don't blog pimp here. You can do that on your profile page, but not on the threads. Thanks.

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @skittlbrau = baa:

I was totally thinking of him. Emile Hirsch? Is that his name?

MeanSpirited

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Did Life & Style plump up Jayden's lips?

crazybitch

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @hypnotic: ditto

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Hey Jessica, hate to break it you, but you did get married first! Just cuz you got divorced doesn't mean it didn't happen. Let Ashlee have her moment.

hfree

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> As much as I don't want it to be true ... BI = Jim Sturgess? The "across the universe" mention makes me think it's him.

solidbrassfasteners

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Polka.Your.Eyes.Out: Jesse Metcalfe or Chace Crawford.

TurdBlossom

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: Ha! I love your self-imposed 20 words or less posts. One day I'll get there, but today is not the day.

Sophie

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: Excuse you, rudeness.
I was making light of the endless arguments on this site regarding their relationship, and the fact that I wish it would go away.
I have no issue with either your pretty, pretty girl or Sam. I am just.TIRED.OF.IT.



Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Polka.Your.Eyes.Out: "At a premiere party for his new flick.."

So, I don't think it's David A.

crazybitch

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: It ain't over.

IT WAS NEVER OVER.

</The Notebook>

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> The blind item is about Jim Sturgess, no? "across the universe"???

wordsoveractions

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> also what is wrong with golden showers

i mean if that's his thing im not going to hate...

hypnotic

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> um what is wrong the the brit kid's bang

did they use a flowbee?

hypnotic

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch: i thought david a from idol, but i'm generally clueless.

Polka.Your.Eyes.Out

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: Yeah, no. Just pack that long-ass rant away.
@lalaland13: That's not what I meant by straight girlfriend. It's kinda hard to explain, but the lezebels will get it.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Chinese Knockoff Bento: I have a thing for The Edge, so that part is true.

brendastarlet

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @skittlbrau = baa: Yeah he came to my mind too.

@kielbasasausage: Definetly. My mind went there as well. Ba dum-duh.

beatrice3000

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @ElleL: @BeAgrestic: "The One Where Jen Gets Pissed On"

gingerkhan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @TaliaBeloved: I do, too. They are American cheese.

brendastarlet

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Is it just me or does the Britney spawn on the left look slightly like a younger Pope Benedict crossed with one of the animatronic puppet aliens from Total Recall?

I'm thinking about this a lot and I need conclusiveness.

www.reluctantwhore.com

reluctantwhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> The Diamond Doctor? Sounds like a classy joint.

katieb: in charge of the war on the poor.

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BeckySharper: It must be the Guitar playing thing. Women have a thing for Guitar players....looks like badly Tattooed ones at that!

Indiana Bento and the lost Temple of Citroens

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @winnie the pooh:
Silly, that was many albums ago.
Now she has to have a new marriage for her "comeback"!



Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @roodles: how quickly we forget Gigolo featuring R Kelly !!!

VPea

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @JessicaLovejoy: More business juice, please!:

Or "Daddy, I got something in my diaper you best be tending to."

caffeinequeen

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Heidi totes pulled that classic move where you send out food to people (or put it out in front of your desk), candies, etc. but you don't eat it yourself.

That, or Posh totally did something to piss Heidi off.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> *Praise Xenu!!! My Dad thinks Scientology is such a joke, he claims they audit with a couple of tin cans and a piece of string.

@BeckySharper: Yeah, Mayer always seemed a bit of a man-whore to me. How many of these Hollywood girls (and boys) has he hooked up with over the past 2 years?

gingerkhan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> "A source says Jess is jealous of all the attention Ash gets and would love to get married first."

Um, Jessica, you did already get married first. You're not such a half-wit that you forgot about 98 degrees of Nick Lachey... are you?

winnie the pooh

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @ElleL: WHAAA??!! more info plz.

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> "They ate out a lot."

More than I needed to know at lunchtime. Thanks.

kielbasasausage

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @HoneyLush: What about that speedracer guy?

skittlbrau = baa

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Uh, does anybody else think Katie looks like an unforch Michael Jackson? Dear god, I want my Joey back!

Those puppies look stoned.

Sunbunny

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @JessicaLovejoy: More business juice, please!: Yah- Vix, I know you don't like to eat, so please forward to SkipToMyLou c/o Poor Grad Student Mothers of Toddlers Who Need Cupcakes. Ta!

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I don't think I will ever see anything cuter than a bucket full of puppies.

I would date that. Take it to nice restaurants. Buy nice clothes. Get a good house.

telecomic the big dumb dog

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> it wouldn't surprise me to learn that katie is kept in a basement hovel with no windows.

SharonTaint

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BAngieB: Maybe so, but if one wants something that the other is unable to give because of their biology...trouble. I read somewhere that unrequited love isn't romantic; it's just painful. Probably so.

And I'm sure you would be an excellent caretaker for both of them.

Also, I thought 36 hours with no sleep or food wasn't Scientology so much as the Hollywood diet.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> oh, let her have her toyboy.

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> With John Mayer's love for the golden showers, it seems Jen's highlights won't be the only gold thing on her head.

ElleL

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I absolutely love the idea of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer being an item. I don't know why, but it seems like the universe got this one right -- the perfect stars aligned. (I'm such a cheeseball.)

TaliaBeloved

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Note how Spawn of Brit #1 looks like KFed and Spawn#2 looks like Mommy!

SinisterRouge

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> John Meyer makes me asexual. yucko

Dear Blond Diary...

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @Philthyist is annoyed: HA!!

Political Party Girl

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Um, what does Nick Cannon actually do? Is hosting Wildin' Out actually a job? He's supposedly a "rapper" but has he even put out an album? Most importantly, is Mariah crazy? There aren't enough words for my Nick Cannon hatred.

roodles

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> For all you Mets fans, dreamboat John Maine has said he has a HUGE crush on Jennifer Aniston. I'd say he has a chance (being rich and adorable), and that if John Maine got his wish, I'd be a happy girl.

ediebeale

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> OK. So if that nasty little rumor that John Mayer likes to give the ladies golden showers is true, I hope Jen breaks him of it before they do the deed.
That is a rule breaker.

BeAgrestic

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I'm not physically so attracted to John Mayer, but something about him does it for me. Maybe he's just got "it" for some girls?

emandem

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Tony, if all the shit Jessica and her family have purportedly been telling people about how great you are together and how you're gonna get married doesn't make you realize how weird and disturbed they are? Then enjoy the divorce.

Papa Joe is really excited for them to get married, so Jessica will stop being a whore and he can get a new reality show out of this. "Jessica and Tony: Love and Football" or some shit.

If Sam really is afraid whenever a guy comes around, that makes me really sad. I hate doomed relationships, and it doesn't get much more doomed than that, where one person is gay and the other is straight.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Aw Jezebel, reading trashy magazines so I don't have to since 2007!

atx

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> The Posh cupcake story has made me do a 180 on my opinion of Heidi Klum. I now adore her.

azliza

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Those puppies are SO cute! *Nom nom nom nom nom*

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> First of all, my pretty, pretty girl is doing just fine.
Secondly, don't all lesbians have a straight girlfriend? I mean, come on, it's normal.
Of course, I hope they are happy together forever. And, when they aren't, I will take over caring for both of them, but in very different ways.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> The idea of Aniston and Mayer together is awesome - stoners unite!

washionfore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @crazybitch:
I call Zac Efron


HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> And with this week's Mid-Week madness, we can finally put all speculation about Linds and Sam to rest.
In fact, let's bury it.
MY eulogy:
The LiloRon relationship has been with us for several months now, and many Jezebels and some Lezebels have grown quite attached. We have had good posts and horrendous posts about their status. After an excessive amount of controversy over what we all believe/wish to say about LiloRon- we have reached a point where we are now beating a dead horse. So it is with some sadness and RELIEF, that we now send the relationship to its eternal rest. Oh, LiloRon. You have entertained us well.
Rest In Peace.





Philthyist

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @JessicaLovejoy: More business juice, please!:
I would die happy if I could get a year's worth of Sprinkle cupcake's delivered to me. It would be worth the 40 hours in the gym each week to burn them....mm red velvet


HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> BI - Chace Crawford?

crazybitch

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Aww, poor Jen Aniston.

Also - John Mayer = yuck. His luck with women is as baffling as Dwight Yoakam's.

marlove

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> John Mayer = 2000's version of Warren Beatty minus all the talent.

The Cosmic Kid

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BitchIsTheNewBlack: I just pictured Mayer's penis literally singing and it cracked me up.

Sophie

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Why does Katie Holmes look alarmingly like Michael Jackson on the front of Star magazine? Is she planning to relaunch her career as a Jacko impersonator?

gherkinfiend

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> @BeckySharper: You know what? I would not be surprised if his dick is magical. Prob sings "your body in a wonderland" after he gives you amazing sex.

BitchIsTheNewBlack

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I was quickly scanning the OK cover and I thought it said "Matching Belts."

Which is actually kind of awesome.

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> want.puppy!

HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Someone needs to tell Mayer that is no way to take care of a new tattoo. Does he want his spankin' new sleeve to look like my Uncle Joe's military tats? Sunblock and/or long sleeves, John.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Where does one go about purchasing a bucket full of polar bear-puppy hybrids? Because, um, I need that.

Triphena

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> (True NE fan here) But you know what Tom Brady - **** off. What an ass. I hate him.

VPea

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> I dont know, Jen Aniston doesnt seem so desperate to me. I'd say shes livin the life.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> P.S. Pls to be forwarding cupcakes to me nao?

JessicaLovejoy: Wanton Trollop

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Oh, I don't like the item about Liv's marriage. That would just make me sad if it's true.

Somehow Lindsay Lohan being a kept woman makes perfect sense.

sarah.of.a.lesser.god

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Oh Gawd, not John Mayer again!! That boy has been passed around like a good paperback. Does he have a magic dick or something? I don't get it!!!

BeckySharper

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: "Desperate" Jen Aniston Finally Gets Laid]]> Shiloh's surprise for Brad: "Guess what, daddy? I'M ADOPTING!"

JessicaLovejoy: Wanton Trollop

]]>