<![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> OR you could have a common-senseless older brother who ruins everything!

"We tried that with your older brother and it didn't work."

If I had a nickle for every time I heard that ish, I could buy me a tasty gelato. SHOP.

Inkymonkey

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: Let them drown in the debts of their own making. My parents have made some foolish life decisions and I've let them know that they'll be getting no support from me in their advancing old age.

Then again, I only talk to them quarterly and see them every year-year and a half, so YMMV.

SovietBear

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Oh, mad agreement over here. I was the older by two years, a straight A student, never broke major rules, blah blah. What did I get in trouble for? Talking too much. My brother could get out of anything by doing the cute-younger-child grin. If he pulled my hair or broke my stuff it was my fault because he "learned it from me." I finished college in 4 years and got a job. Brother? 26 and not done yet, has quit several jobs, wasted tons of money in financial aid, blah blah. And he still gets all the attention because he's the one with all the issues, while I have my shit together.

Ok, bitter break over.

flackette is frustrated

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> This is completely true. I am the oldest and my parents were extremely strict with me the entire time I was growing up. I even had a curfew when I was in college. My parents never spoiled me with material things, either.

My sister is a high school senior and has had her own cell phone for years, (after she kept breaking or losing them, she got new ones) as well as a brand new Mac laptop. Oh, and when she ruined her car because she drove it around for THREE MONTHS with the oil light on and the engine blew up, guess who got a new car?

The same sister also got her nose pierced recently and my very traditional mom did not even bat an eye. This was the one who used to get on my case for wearing too much eyeliner.

On the other hand, I have been supporting myself financially since the age of 20! Yes, I am pissed. Don't even get me started on my younger brother, the favorite.

layladylan

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> It wasn't true in my house growing up. My older sister was able to date and go to friends houses, but she got in so much trouble that when I got old enough to do those things I wasn't allowed. I NEVER spent the night at friends houses and wasn't allowed to date at all.

I got beaten until I was 16(bad enough to leave bruises), I don't remember my sister getting beaten past the age of 12. Plus, my sister bullied and smacked me around as well, so I got double. But, she did have to clean up my dad's vomit when my parents came home drunk.

It sucked for both of us. She would say it was worse for her, but I'd say it was worse for me.

Afin

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Although I agree with some of the researchers' conclusions, I have to say, the original journal article (published in the highly scientific 'The Economic Journal') is extremely speculative, based on a tentatively qualified cohort, and a mess to interpret statistically.

Their claim that "some parents are successfully using this strategy of influencing their younger children by stopping their older children's risky behavior" is very difficult to support given their lack of data about other possible family influences and the exclusion of any siblings who were not between the ages of 14 and 21 in 1979 (any siblings older than this, which may have affected the treatment of younger siblings, were not included).

In my personal experience (similar to others here), my parents were dramatically harder on me - including excessive physical and mental punishments - than they were with my younger brother and sister, and I can say unequivocally that it did not deter my siblings one single tiny bit from doing whatever the hell they wanted.

wanmeili

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> It's also why the first kid tend to be intellectually superior to the rest, and I speak and the youngest child. My parents read to my sister and let the TV educate me.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Dear Mom,

I know you've read this or will read this sometime soon, since we both love the Jezebel. We don't need to have a talk about how it's absolutely true. Just accept that it is, and move on.

Her Grace: Awesomesauce.

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @emdy: You are RIGHT about that. I think part of it in my parents' head was that as a girl SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN TO ME if I stayed out past 11 or something. As a result, I got to go to my first concert at 19 (fucking EH) and lo and behold...little brother is raisin' hell on his own in the big city at 15. Like rah29, I was more about responsibility and square-ness, but the liberties that the kid had were galling. I made up for it to some extent in college, but like some small-town Americans, I am bitter about it still.

jezebelacious

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I think there's also the idea (and this is totally anecdotal, based on my friends) that the older sibling tends to care more about getting in trouble, or feel more responsible for things.

I was always kind of sensitive to that stuff so I didn't break the rules much, and when I did I was super stealthy about it and afraid to get in trouble. My sister's only 2 years younger and she gets away with absolute murder, mostly because she's brutally honest; she just presents parents with a fait accompli and flounces off while they pick their jaws up off the floor. I never want to tell parents things I don't think they want to hear; the little sis just loves shocking them, I think. Plus she's in med school so she's basically unassailable. As long as she still gets the top results in her year, parents who raised us on 'it doesn't matter as long as your grades are top' can't really complain about anything else. She copped on to that reality a long time before I did, I think!

rah29

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Yep, this sounds about right.
My sister, who is in high school, gets away with things that I NEVER would have gotten away with at 17 (like going out to concerts until 3am). I graduated when I was 16, so I was already in COLLEGE at her age, and my parents wouldn't even let me stay out past 11. We only have a two year age difference, so my parents didn't get lazy with her because they got older, but because she's too strong willed and they're too nice. They just flat out don't want to discipline her >:-(


Jadoremonchat

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> As the eldest of 9 in an Irish Catholic family, I could have written this formula. The treatment was so different, it truly is like 2 families - the older kids and the "little" kids. And with the Irish Catholics, being the oldest "girl" brings an enormous amount of responsibility which the younger kids cannot fathom. (My youngest brother, successful, bright and a wonderful person STILL does not know how to make a bed!!!!!!)

I still wouldn't change anything for the world!!!!

BeachLover420

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> To sum it up perfectly:
The first time I was in a bar was a few months after I turned 19.
The first time my little sister was in a bar? I believe she was 16.Of course, I was the one who scored her the fake ID and took her with me, so it was ok.

My mothers response to this? "You didn't invite me?!"
When I got caught drunk (read: hammered) at 16 I was grounded for a week.

naftey

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Yet another expensive study that could have been settled by simply walking into a bus station and taking a show of hands.

I'm yet another Older Sister Of A Brother, and oh lord... He doesn't even know what I went through. My curfew actually dropped an hour every year, and I didn't do anything to make that happen. They just got more paranoid.

With him, if they even look at him askance, you'd think he was calling for China to leave Tibet alone. Meanwhile, I'm 32 and they're still trying to raise me. Trying being the operative word.

Centaurea

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I still blame my parents.

I'm the oldest of two by 5 years.

Me at 18: strict curfews, no internet, no computer, no cellphone, no driving privileges, no car, no make up, no parties, no boyfriend until college (yeah right!), parents decided which college(s) I could go to and which program to be in. They decided I was to be an elementary school teacher.

I was a straight-A student all the way through school.

I turned 20, finally told my parents to fuck off, moved out, had lots of sex and chose my own major and career. They withdrew all financial support after that and I've paid my way through school and life ever since.

My sister at 18: no curfew, cellphone since 15, given her own computer, given her own car, clubbing on school nights, didn't go to college after high school, stayed home and worked retail part-time until she turned 21. She was a C-average all her academic career.

She finally decided to go to cooking school (after bartending a little bit) and she had my parents' blessing. Her school and her life is still completely funded by them, and I still get grief by the whole family.

Stupid family.

KidPresentable

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm the baby of the family and I totally got away with murder. Literally. Well, ok, not literally, but if I had been accused of murder, who'd be on the front page of the paper defending my honor?? Mom and dad. They'd tell anybody, whoever I killed, just needed killin.

asylum

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Sorry, I'm the younger one and DON'T buy it. My sister was such a pouty pants my parents left her alone.

denises_24

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @gracious: Hi sis! I can only blame mom and dad so much, though. Cuz, ya know, we usually go get him water when he yells.

I was more annoyed when mom spent most of the time we were at the MAYO CLINIC worrying that lil bro was working too hard in school and not having enough fun. Um, hello, I have potentially life-threatening allergic reactions!?

fantastic_caverns

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> You know in fifth grade one particular girl coined what we all called "The Candy Solution." Basically it said, first child gets no candy. Second child gets like a Werther's, and by the last child the parents are just throwing king sized Butterfingers the kid's way.

It's kind of awesome to see her theory validated.

maggiemerc

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @citymuse: Haha!
(only laughing because that epitomizes my mother and i dont know any other accepted response)

emdy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @lise2177: I cried the first time I got a C--especially when my dad threatened to shame me by posting it in the family newsletter. Now my parents are happy if my younger brothers pass their classes at all.

megania

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm the oldest of eight and, let me tell you, I really really really really do agree with this survey.

megania

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Awwwh c'mon, you older siblings were all assholes and you know it. And I would like to point out that my sister got away with way more than I did - my parents had smartened up a little by the time I showed up. They'd also fine-tuned their rules (thanks to my sister fighting them) so that I didn't get away with much at all. And when she was old enough to babysit me? ... hell.broke.loose. I think it was payback for all the crap I used to get her in trouble for as kids. I say that, but would like to point out that she once pushed me down stairs. And knocked my head against my cradle. And told me her stinky feet smelled like roses (any moron would have only bought that once. But I'm not any moron, I was a doting kid sister. Bitch got me every time) .... so I wouldn't start feeling sorry for her just yet.

FourInchHeels

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> By the time I was born curfew was non-existent and money was given liberally. It was rad. Parents realize by the end that strict rules don't necessarily matter and they get lazy about it.

umm_okay

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I didn't get spanked more because I was the eldest, but was expected to do more around the house because, you know, I didn't have a penis.

My mother believes that men's packages are so heavy that carrying them alone is enough of a chore.

citymuse

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> In the same boat as a lot of ya'll. Oldest of 3. Yep, got my butt whooped as a kid. Hardly allowed to leave the house until age 19. Paid my own way through college. My siblings (younger sister, brother) were not smacked about, and were out drinking and smoking pot from ages 14-16. Parent's paid for my sister's beauty school, and now my brother's college (where he'll just be killing time). But what, me bitter? ppaasshhaww.
But I agree that the spoiling makes them stupid. I am still sneakier than they'll ever be. Mom found his cigs and pretty soon it'll be the pot and 'shrooms. hehehe.

whateverhappened

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I *was* the younger sibling, AND the only daughter, and I got away with murder. Neener neener!

louveciennes

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @AthertonMerriweather: Bingo. You kind of give up. It just isn't worth the battle once you get to the second or third ones. You realize they'll find their own way no matter what you do or say, and you aren't aware of that with you're first. That's all it's about.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My theory re: older sisters and younger brothers is simple: I could come home knocked up. He couldn't. Which is why I didn't go to a concert anywhere smaller than an arena until I was 19 and out of the house, while my little brother went to a CYPRESS HILL concert for his 14th birthday (yet has never smoked pot because he wants to be a cop).

And yet, despite the harder punishment, I was by far the more traditionally "wild one"-- smoking pot, staying out, being surly. My brother was literally a Boy Scout and acted like it. However, when I was his age I had a steady job and a fiancee, while he just got off being unemployed and lives in a shithole apartment with his two roommates and has multiple tickets under his belt from his crotch rocket (wheelies? In rush hour traffic? Really?).

Note: My mom was the youngest of two girls and my aunt was the wild one. My dad was the 3rd out of 4 and was the drug dealer for their high school after my grandma moved away at the beginning of his senior year and let him stay there ALONE for a year.

Ipomoea

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!: Ha! Same deal with me and my bro. Except the other day my father finally, after twenty five years, admitted that he does in fact like me more than my brother (and that he can't say for certain, but he has good reason to believe my mom likes my brother more). Although he did qualify it by saying that it's mostly because I'm more like him, so it's probably narcissistic for him to like me more... and swore me to secrecy, because of my mom would definitely kill him for saying any of the above. :)

The Boyg

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: Yeah. We learned from their mistakes.

aspiringexpatriate

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Hey y'all! Lay off the youngest siblings here!

My brother would swear this is the truth, but then again he would also conveniently forget that in high school he and his friends drank several hundred dollars worth of my parents wine in one night, he got caught smoking pot (more than once), got caught egging a kid's house, and had a best friend who was a known criminal and kleptomaniac. I, on the other hand, drank only my dad's beer (he said it was fine as long as I didn't overdo it and it was the cheap stuff), and had the geeky honors student friends who did nothing but eat all the frozen pizza when they came over (usually for study groups or movie marathons, because yes, I was a dork). The article was right in that respect, actually, I avoided all the things I saw him get caught doing...

As for financially depending on our parents? Do not even get me started... let's just say the dude who got a truck, replacement skis for the ones he left in that same truck (unlocked), and $10,000 as a gift when he and his wife bought a house ought not ever dare complain about his treatment, for obvious reasons.

The Boyg

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> It's really weird to hear y'all talk about your younger siblings having it easy, cuz it's the opposite for me. My older sis spent 7 years in college, in another state and never held a job, went thru 6 cars my parents bought (at 40-something, she still has never bought her own car), they gave her a down-payment on her house, refi-ed their house to help her remodel it, paid her mortgage for 6 months while she got her Masters, then paid her son's school tuition from age 2 to 8.

Meanwhile, dad's ailing and mom's going to retire, so I'm paying THEIR bills and MINE. Does my sister help? No, she's got a new husband, a child, he has 3 kids in college and one has a child.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @exelizabeth: could be a gender thing. but i think more likely it's just that they had energy and patience to deal with me when i was growing up (but i was a good kid, especially compared to my siblings) when my brothers got older my parents first assumed they'd automatically be okay kids, b/c i'd been, but once they realized my brothers were not on the right track it was too late to go back and implement the rules that had kept me in line in the first place. the damage was done. family dynamics are so screwed up.

lise2177

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My older brother was kind of a test case for my parents - they were pretty lax with me unless my brother had misbehaved in a similar situation. Then they were more strict, because if he did it, my other brother and I were more likely to do it, I guess.

But on the whole, they weren't very strict at all. We sorted ourselves out. I, as the youngest and only girl, bothered my brothers endlessly and they, as older, wiser brothers, teased me mercilessly. Now we're all friends.

hildegaard

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> This is SO. TRUE. I'm the oldest of three and my sister and I are significantly older than my brother. Catholic accident, what can I say. He gets away with murder. My sister also gets away with a lot more than I do. Which is why I moved as far away as I could for university.

dancingteacups

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Double standards! I knew it! My mom actually gave my first boyfriend a driving test before she would let me ride in the car with him. Guess how long it took before everyone at school heard that story. Exactly 1.7 seconds. Horrible. My parents didn't even ask the name of anyone that my little brother was going to take out.

kelley7177

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @and Begorrah: My dad does "the favorite daughter" thing. I only have a brother.

(Although technically he's telling the truth, as he likes me a bit more than my brother. My mother like my brother a bit more than me. But I'm the only one willing to recognize and accept this.)

JessicaLovejoy: Wanton Trollop

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @lise2177: I wonder if that's a boy vs. girl thing? Like, when boys screw around it's "boys will be boys!" but when girls screw around, it's time for a major freak out.

This is not true in my house. My mom is STILL freaked that my brother might knock up his girlfriend of four years. She doesn't worry about me like that at all.

I don't get why parents worry about girls having sex than guys. I mean, helLO you can put a daughter on birth control and support her if she wants to have an abortion. If your son knocks someone up and she wants to keep it, too bad! You're a grandparent!

exelizabeth

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I should amend this to say that while my littlest bro is a closet pothead and drunk during the summer, during the school year he's totally straight, got into an awesome college program, is in a successful local band, and has a more legit job through his high school internship as a graphic designer (the firm he works for put him on the payroll when they realized how good he is) than I have as a college graduate. Le sigh.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Nope, they were way harder on my little brother. But I'm self-motivated whereas he is not, so my mom spent, like, most of her free time getting him to do homework, whereas I'd just come home with the good grades and they were like, "Cool!"

Also, I am smarter. That's science, too. I read it on Jezebel.

exelizabeth

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm the youngest of twelve, and I definitely got it easier. Some of my siblings are old enough to be my parents, and a lot of the time they act like it; the first generation raised the second generation in our house. Now, most of my siblings have kids and I've had to practically raise them and see how much easier THEY have it now than I ever did. Thank God I was the youngest; in a big family, by the time you're a teenager your parents are insane and if you're on the tail end of the procreation scale they've forgotten you exist and your freedom just skyrockets.

JMB25

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> BULLshit. My older brother always makes fun of me because he gets away with everything and I get the hard time. It's because I was clearly the smarter one when I was born, and he's a meat head.

Sunbunny

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My littlest brother (of 4) gets away with whatever he wants. I don't know if my parents are just too over parenting to care, realize the rest of us turned out dandy, or simply gave up, but if he doesn't want to go to school, he won't. He's allowed to have his gf in his room (she even has a housekey). He gets to go to bars with us.

The rest of us are sorta like WTF?!, but at the same time are over it too.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @meanmommy: Word. I figured out how to hide my dirty laundry.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> far too many childhood (and recent) incidents come to mind that directly support this finding.

both younger brothers have a) been expelled from multiple schools multiple times b)jailed multiple times C) impregnated multiple girls d)been caught with multiple drugs. but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES could i have a boy, even just a friend, upstairs in my room. and i was almost pulled out of college for getting a C+ average one semester.

then again, the fact that my parents were hardest on me is likely the very reason i'm the only one they can actually be proud of now.

lise2177

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> yet another study from the Institute of the Very Very Obvious. well done, researchers!

*golf claps*

StabbyMcStabberson

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I love it when science backs me up. My parents actually told me once that they didn't hit my younger sisters because "we found out it didn't work after trying it on you."

And THAT is why THE PARENTS PAY FOR THERAPY. You break it, you buy it.

egged

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Um, I don't know how much they paid for this study, but I would have gladly told them this for half.

Let's see, my little brother gets his rent paid, spending money, my parent's credit card, a car, and lots of clothes.

Hmmmm...when I was in college, I had to buy my clothes at a thriftstore. Thank god that was cool in the 90s.

Threadtrend

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @ceejeemcbeegee:

LOL....you better believe it. Us younger ones, just watched the older ones mistakes and learned from them.

meanmommy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> And my brother? MY BROTHER???? Is THIRTY-TWO and has never lived on his own. NEVER. And they've paid for college for him muliple times -- he's never graduated.

Me, I was pulled out of school after one year because I didn't appreciate it.

Oh, the therapy must continue.

NewsBunny

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> This is sooo true. I witnessed it as the youngest girl with two older brothers. Both my ex and current bf have younger sisters that got away with murder too. I always thought it was because parents just got more weary with age and with each passing child so they eased up.

LahFawnDuh

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @and Begorrah: my dad always tells me I'm his "favourite number three" being the third daughter of three.

beastybeatsy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> *would be, not would me. That does not make any sense.

ladeedah

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> OMG! I am the oldest of FOUR! And I was chained to the bed until I left the house at nineteen. Not for college, but to live on my own, to get away from such a strict home.

I had a curfew of ten pm when I was seventeen. Youngest sister...they didn't care if she ever came home.

Not fair. Not fair at all.

NewsBunny

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm right! I'm right, I'm right, I'm right!

I have always had a rocky relantionship with my mom. Nothing big has ever happened, but we just do not get along. We used to get in fights and afterwards to punish me she would me extra-nice to my sister. Also, any time I got mad at my youger sister, my mom would say that I was taking out my anger towards her at my younger sis. We spent most of my early childhood up to when I was about 13 in huge screaming fights, which surprisingly cooled down when I was a teenager. Now that we have a slightly better relantionship she refuses to say that she treated me worse. Even my little sister agrees with me. I should show her this article.

ladeedah

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Also, can I just say, on behalf of the youngest children, we're not all spoiled brats! I got away with more going out and getting drunk than my sister did, but that doesn't mean that I'm totally dependent on them, no more than my sister was at my age. So nur.

beastybeatsy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> This phenomenon is no shock to me. My mother told me herself that by the time she had my younger brothers, my parents were older, fatter, lazier, and just more laid back. I had turned out okay so they were all "meh" when it came to discipling my younger brothers.

glamzonhobbitfeet

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My mom still tells me I'm her FAVORITE daughter. I'm an only child.

andBegorrah

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @rocknrollunicorn: Or, if it's my parents, the brother can stay out all night drinking and talk about it the next morning, and they'll barely bat an eye.

But yes, he would be far too stupid to hide it. In fact...I'm not sure anything has ever been hidden, since Mom still cleaned his room up until this year (he's 21).

touchmyshoe

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> At least my dad knows that he was WAAAAAAYY harder on me than my younger brothers. He used to tell them so too....not that they cared. The funny thing is, I was the one who got spanked with a belt, but my brother (the one just younger than me) is the one who always complains about being beaten as a child. I think he got spanked twice...& he certainly didn't get the belt like I did. The youngest never got spanked at all.

Not that I condone hitting you kids with a belt....but I don't think a spanking now and then is neccessarily a bad thing.

mknfuss

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Scrolling through comments, and OMG what is it about older sisters and lazy little brothers??

I'd laugh if I wasnt afraid I'd choke on bitterness.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @rocknrollunicorn: My younger brother leaves his pipe out or in the garage, and has a child at 17. So yeah, I feel you on this one.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @AthertonMerriweather:

Total agreement. I'm a case in point - oldest of four, parents were very strict with me.

They gradually got more and more relaxed until you get to the youngest who is a completely spoiled brat.

Unsurprisingly she married another 'youngest child and spoiled brat' too.

SSteele

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Just because you add formulas and equations doesn't make this "finding" any less of a "DUH!" moment.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @rocknrollunicorn: But one thing to consider is how fucking dumb the youngest wind up due to this. I mean certainly I smoked pot and had sex in high school, yet I never got arrested or caught because I was sneaky as hell. My dumbass brother is an utter failure at hiding anything. In the end, I still think I win.

rocknrollunicorn

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I often remind my brother how lucky he is that I broke my parents in for him. Not that I was trouble - I was a goody-two-shoes until college (where I made up for lost time) - but he got to do everything at a younger age than I did, because my parents realized they were too strict with me.

kansasgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm the oldest of three, and definitely bore the brunt of criticism, responsibility, punishment, etc. I practically *raised* my brother and sister for a while, and did most of the cooking and cleaning, despite my mom telling me that I "never lifted a finger." What really burned my ass was my 10:30 curfew until I was 18, though my bro and sis have never really had curfews.

I moved out at 18 and have been on my own financially ever since, and paid my way through college with student loans and work. My brother? Parents pay at least a couple thou a year toward his tuition, pay for books, etc. My mom just cosigned on a truck for him, even though he just bought a house and works part-time at Wal-Mart.

I could go on for days...Bitter? Me?

touchmyshoe

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @ShirtNinjaOni: Less time in therapy?

LagunaBitch

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> There's also gender to be considered. My parents are way more lax on my bro than me, but I am the much easier child to raise (one of my mom's friends even told me that my mom was lucky that I was the studious, obedient daughter).
p.s. no such thing as a 'free spirit' in this house.

emdy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I am so forwarding this to my parents. I support AthertonMerriweather's "fuck it" theory, b/c I was the stupidly compliant firstborn with the early bedtime (didn't actually see The Simpsons until late middle school) and the high grades and my little brother was the rebellious difficult one and guess, just guess, who got the shiny new sports car by just whining about it long enough.

sixseeds

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I still hate them!!!! My mother was a strict-ass bitch with me and my 17 year old brother has his girlfriend sleep over, was arrested for pot possession and got scarcely more than a slap on the wrist... I swear the list goes on and on. My mom found Jaegermeister and what she called "a lot of VERY DIRTY porn" in the basement and I don't even think she mentioned it!

argh.

rocknrollunicorn

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I graduated college with $20,000 in student loans, which I agreed to take on so that I would fully appreciate the value of my education. My parents and I never discussed me applying for cheaper schools, their projected contribution, whatever. I thought this was entirely reasonable until...

My sister chose a cheaper school (read: had bad grades and didn't get a scholarship to other ones) and my parents decided to pay her tuition in full and set aside a "nest egg" for her to claim upon graduation. WTF.

sequined

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My lil bro literally DOES NOT HAVE TO GET OFF THE COUCH when he wants a drink of water. He just shouts, "I'm thirsty!"

Meanwhile, both my sis (younger than me, older than bro) and I had jobs, etc, when we were his age. ARRRRRGH!

gracious

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Hmm. My parents were LESS strict with me than with my younger sister.

I disprove the formula. What do I win?

ShirtNinjaOni

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> RAWR! I'm the oldest, got away with nothing, and had to work my ass off to stay in my parent's good graces. My lazy ass brother can do whatever he wants because he's the "baby." A baby he is not, but a bummy jobless pothead liar he is.
Its plain to see that he and I do not get along.


KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @AthertonMerriweather: My uncle is the baby and, y'know, like, 40, and STILL complains about the camping trip when my grandparents forgot to bring a poncho for him and had to put him in a plastic bag to protect him from the rain.

not.a.clever.name

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> @♥ dosido ☮:
Thats really true actually...

rantersparadise

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My brother got away with murder and STILL DOES! He's about to graduate and doesn't have a job lined up and my parents are all, "Well, he's a free spirit. A wandering soul. He needs time to find his path."

When I graduated without a job lined up, my parents were all, "What is wrong with you? We didn't spend [dollar amount that is LESS than my brother's education] so you could graduate at work at STARBUCKS!"

not.a.clever.name

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I heard the jury was still out on science.

girlscoutcookie

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Of course my parents were easier on me! Because I was easier on them!

I took my dose of "act right" daily. My older sis, on the other hand, had no clue what this pill looked like.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My sister has always said this, I will be forwarding this to her...

beastybeatsy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> This cuts both ways though, my older sister got the "spare the rod" side of my mom, then rebelled against her. Big sis's rebellion paved the way for me to host many underage drinking parties.

babytuna

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> My mom mostly only punished when we did badly in school. Therefore, my older sister got a whole lot less punishment then I did. But my sister would probably see it differently.

TrixieBelden

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Ha. You don't need math to figure out that parents are exhausted by the time the last one is born and just tired of caring as much they do about the older kids.

dontbogartthewine

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> only child ftw!

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Once again, Science ftw. I got so much more shit from my parents growing up than my brother did. Still do.

Elevendy

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I'm an only child but I have certainly observed this in other families. Especially those with 2-3 kids. But, as AthertonMerriweather said, 4 or more, I think they just say "fuck it."

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> So now explain why my mother still funds my 20 something younger sister's lavish lifestyle!

Oh wait, that's just bad parenting.

I know, I'm bitter, but it hurts to not be the favorite.

LagunaBitch

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I can still scientifically hate on them and their spoiled brat of a youngest child.

redheadedstepchild

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I think they just give up and say "Fuck it" when it comes to they youngest.

AthertonMerriweather

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> *does the flaily arms of exasperated agreement*

I was the oldest and I am the *only child* who got hit. Neither one of my sisters have any recollection of being spanked, popped, or swatted, much less (yikes) some of the other physically abusive shit my dad inflicted on me. (I love the guy, but he was not a father of the year type of Navy LtCdr.) UNFAIR.

♥ dosido ☮

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> I've said for years that the woman that raised me is NOT the woman that raised my little brother. And now I have scientific proof. Thanks, Jezebel!

Kittenish

]]> <![CDATA[Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional]]> Bullshit! My parents punished me MORE and assigned more chores because "your brother will just say no" Um, sorry? I'm nicer than he is, so dump on me?

Childhood rage is re-emerging!

NoInheritance

]]>