<![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> lilo and sam would be such cute mommies! thinking along this baby theme...

beerme

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> It appears Jennifer Aniston has had some plastic surgery. My guess is she had some fillers or fat injected. She looks totally different.

medialady

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @TwiceShy: That was THE worst ending to a show. I know they couldn't get him back..but making him a woman? Pfft. Stupid.

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Dear Josh Hartnett,

I will gladly leave my boyfriend for you on the condition you read me stories at least 3 times a week before bed.

Erinjb

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @snatchtastic:
That's true. you actually KEEP those last ten pounds or so on until you stop breastfeeding. Just TRY and take it off with the baby feasting every day. I'm a runner; I was running six miles daily after popping out my two (and during) and those ten pounds didn't budge until I weaned both.
And your body changes--it's called stretched ab muscles and skin. Unles you get nipped and tucked, your body will be different. Four marathons in a year and I still have a pooch.
So fuck all you Hollywood "moms". You're full of shit.

lizzybennet

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @agent7: Sure, it may seem weird, but if you go back and listen to Dr. King's famous speech, you will find that his dream did in fact center around 60,000 orchids for 30 guests. So, you should be thanking Jay Z and Beyonce for being American heroes.

Kona

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BicSharpie: Didn't one mag do a "Strongest Mom" feature? Basically they estimated the kids weight juxtaposed to food outings of said tykes. Close enough.

Someone correct me if I'm remembering this wrong!

AnnoyingFemaleLeadVoiceover

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I can't believe someone is suing for getting hurt dancing on the Ellen show. I'm pretty sure that's optional audience participation!

LahFawnDuh

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Is it just me or does anyone find putting a black woman (Rihanna) in a "Jungle Fever" spread kinda..I don't know..discussion worthy? Just me? Ok, I'll just stay over here and play with the curling iron.

pishposhspice

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @ShearGenius: @Jerseylicious:
thanks for that I love all things Coupling. Except the ending and lack of real Jeff.

TwiceShy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> A big thinks to all of you ranting about losing the pregnancy weight. I'm 8 months pregnant now and am already more paranoid than I need to be about losing the weight before returning to work. (It didn't help that one (overweight) midwife told me I had gained 5 lbs too much.) So, thanks for the reminder that it's not normal to lose 25-35 lbs as quickly as the celebs do.

dariaclone

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @ShearGenius: I MEAN Jane and the Truth Snake.

Also the Melty Man Cometh is a good one.

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Jerseylicious:

awww..that's one of my favorite episodes....Jane and the Trouser Snake.

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> When was that picture of Whitney and Costner taken, 1992? I swear, that's how her hair looked in The Bodyguard. His hair, not so much.

sarrible

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> As someone who is 39 weeks pregnant and has gained 55 pounds, it really warms my heart to see the cover of Star this week. Next time I'll try not to get knocked up during a celebrity baby zeitgeist. Now where are my damn cookies?Mama needs to feed.

bunnypants

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Whoever gave ear infection a grade of "C" has obvs never had one. That shit is excruciatingly painful (and I've had a 9-pound baby without meds, so I know from pain!)

Also, JLO said in People mag that she is not breastfeeding. She would never have time for all of those workouts if she were not giving her babies formula. She even had the audacity to insinuate that formula is better for babies than breastmilk. Oy.

Leets

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> So my initial thought when I read the blind item where it says "vertically challenged" actor was that it was someone who has sex a lot. You know... someone who's horizontal. But then I got my mind out of the gutter and decided that the blind item was about that petite little Danny DeVito and his wife Rhea Pearlman.

OhhYeah

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BAngieB: Thank you for the clarification, you are the "in-the-know" voice on all things Miss Lindsay!

AGreenEyeDevil

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I love how Star distanced itself from the Enquirer, Globe, etc by just changing the type of paper it is printed on. Just because it's glossy doesn't mean it isn't full of useless, untrue drivel!!!...that I shamelessly read anyways...sigh.

blumpkin

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Scoithniamh: Are they sure that it wasn't a P-Diddy wedding, then? Maybe he was their wedding planner...

@mstk: I was thinking "yeast infection", but prolapse works too.

scarletvirtue

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Jennifer Lopez "AT HER HEAVIEST:" She was f-ing pregnant!! With twins! She's supposed to be fat! "The struggle to shape up?" Yeah, 'cause Nicole Richie was such a cow when she was pregnant and I'm sure she really "struggled" to get back to her post-baby shape. These magazines are all run by women, aren't they? Why must they place such an emphasis on being hyper-thin all of the time. What about healthy-thin? That's right, a size 4 is fat now.

I used to love these dumb magazines but I stopped reading them about a year ago (unless it's a long plane ride) and I'm not sorry. They seem to have gotten more ridiculous, intrusive and just plain nasty.

Varina

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @dictator4life1: the kids in the hall reunion tour was in columbus the other day. it was AMAZING! they bring back favorite characters in new skits and some new stuff too. and they seem like they are having so much fun together all the time. i will restrain myself from saying too much detail, but let's just say i laughed my ass off.

hoodienerd

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BritneyCanadaWhore: Kids in the Hall reuinion tour? Details please.

formerlydictator4life1

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @PopCultureSavant: Is it bad that I kind of think Beyonce's babies would be completely rad? I don't usually care about celebuspawn, but it's freaking Beyonce. She would probably have 24-karat Bugaboos lined with the finest linens and silks, interwoven with the rarest saffrons and butterfly antennae. The kids would teethe on sapphires that she threw in the freezer for awhile.

Actually she probably WOULD, and that makes me a little sick, since I'm thinking about what that kind of wealth could do for people/towns/nations in who are truly in need. Ick.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> so glad no one is taking my pictures and asking if when I will lose the baby weight.
havent lost it all. Keeps me warm in the winter. The kid is over a year old.

SpicyTamale is a GA peach

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> you know tina knowles only wants beyonce to have kids so that she can make ugly clothes for them, then add a children's line to that awful clothing line she has

also, beyonce really looks like scary spice on that US cover

PopCultureSavant

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @emandem: Not for B & Jay-Z! They asked their guests to please wear ivory. You've got to keep up!

All Pro Tight End

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> i tell my dog she is beautiful and a "good dog," but i secretly slip slentrol into her food.

virginiabelle

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @onthecornerofparkerandwoolf: Also, "quesadilla" is a good, strong name. A name of cheese. Your child will be strong for the cheezsociations of that name.

Also, cheese.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @shananigans: I am soooo over baby bump. It just sounds icky to me.

Kittenish has gone to the dogs...

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @onthecornerofparkerandwoolf: Hahahahahah! I feel like we had the foodbaby discussion on Jez before, right? Like, I'm expecting a bagel with lox spread. We're registered at Target.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @SkipToMyLou: to shill shit TO the public. And to add one more outrage to my screed, she would have sold on a combo c-sec/tummy tuck by her team, who all have a stake in her post-baby appearance and not in providing her with accurate medical info, provided she doesn't die and deprive them of their source of income.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Hamsterpants: meh. i could buy not believing he was a celebrity, as who expects to ever actually SEE brad pitt? also, the grocery store in my hometown requires that everyone show ID. which means that my father, who teaches high school biology, regularly gets carded by his students. he's retiring soon.

@tscheese: i'm pregnant a few times a month, with a baby i like to call "black bean quesadilla."

someday, i might name my daughter quesadilla.

onthecornerofparkerandwoolf

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @layladylan: Several years ago, I made Brad Pitt a carrot juice and didn't recognize him until nearly the end of our little transaction, when I was wondering why anyone getting a simple tuber juice would act so paranoid. We were in a macrobiotic grocery store, so I was used to nervous and disoriented people - he also stood out in that crowd by not looking like he was going to die. No-one else paid him any attention.

snatchtastic

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Celebs lose the baby weight by working with a trainer and taking a bunch of Adderall. So suggests a trainer friend of mine, at least, when I asked how he thinks they do it. Speed will dry up your breast milk but nursing requires some extra body fat anyway -- I suspect all those rapidly skinny after pregnancy celeb's babies are on formula.

vixenatrix

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Fuck this baby weight bullshit. I know there are more important and more damaging things in the world but this just makes me so fucking furious! Jennifer Lopez would have three nannies in addition to her usual team of staff members. She probably spends an hour a day with those babies and six with Gunnar Peterson. I'm furious because touting her weight loss as easy and manageable is a cruel falsehood being sold to modern women. I'm also furious because the expectation that she personally should lose the weight is a requirement of her job; her job being to shill shit the public. Jennifer Lopez, whatever her other luxuries in life may be, was not given any more maternity leave than a woman in a canning factory. She had six weeks to get her ass back in gear. Unfair to all around.

SkipToMyLou

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @SpicyTamale: I've turned over a new leaf! I'm not that tscheese anymore! I am relevant! I am topical! I am hungry!

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Thank you Jesus for Real Housewives dish and Midweek Madness!

Tina Knowles, says, "Hopefully Beyoncé will be starting a family soon." Let's look out for the baby bump sightings now!

Who's over the words "baby bump"? btw.

shananigans

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Everyone: If you guys are takin' Sam, can I haz Mark?

stoprobbers

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> "Giselle's Butt Flosser"?!?!?!!! Seriously???

AHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

stoprobbers

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @tscheese: pork roll! bacon scone!

SpicyTamale is a GA peach

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BAngieB: Awww, sorry, comment-lag just made me look like a douche. :)

Okay. I'll get in line.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Britney's Xanax "overdose" reminds me of an episode of Coupling when Jane claims to have taken an overdose, then says she's only taken the recommended amount. When it's explained that the point of an overdose is to take MORE than the recommended amount, she says "But isn't that dangerous?"

"Honestly, I don't know how anyone finds the time to kill themselves!"

I really need to turn off the BBCA once in awhile.

Jerseylicious

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BAngieB: I'm a mostly-straight woman, and I TOTALLY want Sam Ronson to marry me.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Some of the other gossip blogs theorized that Jay Z and Beyonce picked 4/4 because his birthday is Dec. 4 and hers is Sept. 4.

kad9k

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @tscheese: We've covered this. You must get in line for the marrying of DJSam.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Now, don't get me wrong, I can't think of anything better than my pretty, pretty girl marrying her tomboy. However, those rings they are referring to? Sam has had her "SR" ring for years, and Lindsay has had her "LL" ring for at least a year. Besides, those rings are exactly commitment-type rings. And, yeah, I don't know any women who refer to their same-sex partner as "husband" on a regular basis. Joking, yes, but not really.
I call lesbinanigans on this story.
In other news, I will wear whatever ring Samantha wants to give me. Such as.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> If Beyonce isn't wearing a catsuit then she must be pregnant.

Case

Closed.

reluctantwhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Excusado: My two best friends on the planet are a lesbian couple, and they call each other "Hubby" and "Wifey" all the time. I like to mix it up and call the Wifey the Hubby and call her Mr. Wifey and basically I just make up all kinds of names for them, because that's how I roll.

Now I kind of want Sam Ronson to be my husband.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @bitchyolympian: Yes, I love the caption of J. Lo "At Her Heaviest!", instead of, you know "J. Lo at 9 months pregnant!".

treecut...Grim Reaper of the forest

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Can I just say that I hate the "bump" obsession? Like, if Jennifer Love Hewett there is "suspected pregnant," I must be on the verge of giving birth to quintuplets.

(Their names are Pork Chop, Portuguese Roll, Orange, Bowl of Oatmeal, and Tiny Wedge of Cheddar.)

I also want her weird purple dress and I would totally wear it with sneakers.

tscheese

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Re Lilo, I have never heard of a woman referring to her female marital partner as her "husband." Has anyone heard of such a thing? I mean, unless the "husband" is a tranny. A woman is a wife, even if her spouse is a wife. That's why I think the Lilo story is false-it just doesn't seem like a gay thing. (But I only know about teh geighs from the L Word, so what do I know?)

Excusado

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> If Brit has been picking at her scalp, she may be exibiting signs of an OCDish anxiety disorder called dermatillomania. I have it and I pick at things until they scab and scar over. Then again, who am I to diagnose someone I've never met? It's not like magazines employ people to do just that....

AndYourLittleDogToo

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I really hope that picture of jennifer aniston is just overly airbrushed. She was my ideal before...

also, there was a segment on the Today show this morning about losing the baby weight too...is it really necessary to give so much attention to immediately getting back to a size 2 after passing a watermelon through your pelvis?

flancake

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Scoithniamh: @kinamoto: @TriedandTrue: Oops, thanks for clarifying! That makes much more sense.

emandem

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Nicole really doesn't look pregnant. Was she just really that thin or just not gaining that much weight? Must ponder this instead of doing actual schoolwork...

Sophie needs Sensodyne

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Why is Brad drinking? He shouldn't be doing anything that preggo Angie can't do.

Shit. I think I just wrote next week's Midweek Madness. At least three covers of Brad with screaming headlines "BRAD'S SECRET SHAME" and "Angie tells Brad's Mom: Your son is an Alcoholic!"

gingerkhan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Shouldn't shorts cover your ass?

But then again, shouldn't leggings not substitute pants?

N i s t h a

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @kinamoto: perhaps, although im more inclined to go with the "hey, we like the number 4(maybe)4/4 is easy to remember and hey, something big happened this day" theory. im sure they meant it in all respect to the man and his legacy, im just thinking it's a bit of an odd tribute, and if it were my wedding i would have done it on his birthday rather than the day he was killed. no judging, i just noticed it.

agent7

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Drew Barrymore's dog is taking a diet pill? What? How does a dog need a diet pill?

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> spellcheck has nothing to do with reality?

that's all sorts of brilliant! brava, courtney!

OSallyTheAlleyCat

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @TriedandTrue: Some convenience stores do have policies of cashiers having to card anyone who looks under 30, for example, just to be extra careful. That's slightly more plausible, but yeah, it's Brad Pitt. Hard to believe you wouldn't recognize him.

layladylan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @petuniacat: Yeah that's pretty wrong of "sources" to go into that shit. How is it news that she picks her scalp? And, I could be wrong, but I don't think that's the same thing as "ripping her hair out." I thought the second was tricho-something, where you feel the need to pull your hair out.

OK, because I took too many psych courses in college, here's what Wiki says:

[en.wikipedia.org]

What she's doing sounds more like

[en.wikipedia.org]

if that.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @StevieRayHalen: oh oh.....last two....not so much.

TriedandTrue

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BritneyCanadaWhore: That's what I thought too! I thought she was a huge meth head and her boyfriend or husband was a cop and caught her doing meth and shit hit the fan. This is an interesting twist.

judgingnora

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Um, I rip my hair out (waxing)
And I talk to myself (while driving during rush hour)
I've faked a cookie overdose (to get out of sex heehee)
And I have this weird obsession with getting my hands on an orgasm at all times....

Well, that does it. I'm going to the looney bin - see y'all gals later!

dirtybee says we bee obama jammin

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I actually don't believe the Ashton cheating thing. What is happening to my world?

gingerkhan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> OMG... so much to skewer... ok.
Britney... "Oh my god Ya'll...two xanax and two poptarts! what a way to start a morning!!!"

JLS- "Queen of ouch.." I TOTALLY agree with you... My daughter Janie (9), LOVES zoe101 and i was devastated when I heard she was pg.. but.. i agree... white trash, but trying to take the high road...

Brad Pitt get's I.D'd...
"come on man, it's not even for me.. it's for Maddox...
his sisters beat the shit out of him and he just needs a SPARX to tide him over till nap time..."

JESSICA ALBA GIVES DYING GIRL MAKEOVER...
"Ok, so listen... just do what I do...Don't eat...The migraine headaches are temporary...and well, think how pretty you'll be in the casket!!! "

Courtney Cox and David Arquette are planning on adopting a kid...
how about a CHINESE baby? Man, they are SO CUTE!!!!! or as we like to call them... a "Discount Suri!!!"
*ahem* too far?

StevieRayHalen

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I'm jealous of Intern Sharon.

meechybee

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @emandem: I thought guests were asked to all wear ivory - similar to Diddy's all white party in the Hamptons.

TriedandTrue

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo...TRY IT!: What really sucks is when they can't get internet in the country they're in. *sigh*

Is anyone else bothered by the scabs on Britney's head? Weave wounds?

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @emandem: I believe the columns about it last week had it that guests were instructed to wear ivory colored clothing.

@agent7: Not necessarily. If you're an observant enough Catholic or Orthodox to do saint's days, you're usually observing the day that saint died, or rather, ascended to heaven. Perhaps they're following a similar line of thinking, viewing MLK as a martyr for civil rights.

(Or they could've just picked it 'cause it's easy to remember--my own anniversary is 4/4/4.)

kinamoto

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> You missed this National Geographic story about whether Paris should buy her own personal cheetah:
[ngm.typepad.com]

travelina

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> You know that convenience store clerk only carded Brad to get a peek at the specifics on the ID. There is NO way that A. you didn't recognize him and B. thought he was 19

TriedandTrue

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @DorothyZbornak: Aniston looks like Heather because of all the plastic surgery, injections, highlights, etc. They all look alike. And I'm not saying that in a "All Honkey Women Look Alike" way, I'm saying that as a "All Hollywood Women Between 40 and 50 Years Old Go To The Same Surgeons" kind of way.

gingerkhan

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @agent7:

Well....they're not known for their brains. They're celebrities. They lampoon themselves.

I love Dr. King. And I think he would have told them they could have picked a better day for their wedding.

CopyofBlueboy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> props to Jamie Lynn Spears for living a normal life and having what, for most people, would have been a normal and probably very happy birthday (shopping and dinner with boyfriend/fiance, party/hanging with friends)

anniehall

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> That picture of Jen and Orlando seems super-Photoshopped.

tell Dolly Parton again

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @agent7: Yes, because MLK fought all his life so that one day rich black people could get married? Because that has never happened ever?

tell Dolly Parton again

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I am so SICK of the media stressing that All Women Must Be Skinny Immediately After Giving Birth. That goes for these rags and the Today show this morning - which suggested, among other things, that new moms should make themselves egg white omlets (even though she's been up half the night with new baby) and to go swimming or hiking while baby naps ('cos everyone obviously has nannies!)

::hates::

bitchyolympian

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> What would an F be? Vaginal prolapse?

mstk

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: glad to see her doing well now.

dayyyysss gooo byyyyyyyyyy....

BritneyCanadaWhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: I wish most people, specifically "celebrities" would stop subjecting the world to their spawn.

luckymolly

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> So, my mom just informed me that she is like 3 pounds away from being the same weight she was before she got pregnant with me. (25 years ago)

All I could think was, damn, sorry I made you FAT. (and it took you a fuck long time to lose it all)

God Damn. she better not pressure me to lose all the weight I gained after graduating highschool. (I was in track and cross country, you don't just PICK UP running 5 miles a day)

Sukie in the Graveyard

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Eh, the dude Gisele is rushing towards seems to have peed his pants in excitement...

aintlifegrand

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> i have a very good gut feeling that B is pregnant. she's too old fashioned, right now the "in" thing to do is give birth first, then get married. case in point: nicole richie

bjchilipepper

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @emandem: Apparently every guest wore white. Or ivory or something.

Scoithniamh

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> can't believe BAngieB hasn't commented yet on LL & SR.

itchycoo

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I am sure J Lo loves her babies, but how much time do we think she actually spends "taking care of them"? Unless by taking care of we mean telling the nanny to go change them.

dreamweave

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> At what point do you think they are going to start criticizing the bodies of celebrity babies?

BicSharpie

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> i would card brad pitt purely so he had to spend more time with me.

hoodienerd

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> PLEASE, PLEASE let the Lilo + Sam Ronson = 4eva be true. I would love to send them a congratulatory panini press in celebration of their partnership.

nadarine

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> The Life & Style cover with the picture of a pregnant Jennifer Lopez captioned: "At Her Heaviest!" frustrates me. Pregnant. With Twins. NOT FAT. That magazine blows.

Also, does the OK! picture of Gisele really read, That's Tom's Tush!? What the fuck?

Scoithniamh

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Who wrote 'That's tom's tush' on the pic of gisele? Gross. I had a babysitter when I was little who's bf actually made a sticker that said 'property of mike' he'd put on her ass. He taught me the meaning of douchebag I suppose.

dontbogartthewine

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Sukie in the Graveyard: I saw him in person about 10 years ago, he was reading for a part at the production company I worked for, and he didn't look under 21 then. But who knows? Maybe he's had work done.

Hamsterpants

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> beyonce and jay-z "were married on 4/4 - to honor the memory of Martin Luther King Jr, who was assassinated that day in 1968."

um, am i the only one who thinks it's weird to schedule a wedding in honor of someone on the day that person was assassinated? arent there more fitting tributes dates, like birthdays, great (positive) historical moments? maybe im just superstitious.

agent7

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @dontdrinkthehaterade: jinx

lisas

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: Oh of course it is. Because if the rags can't pit women against women, how will they sell their rags?

And thank god J.Lo isn't carrying around that extra weight after giving birth to twins 10 minutes ago!

AmazonRedheadedUberVixen

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> "A pregnant teenager with a loaded shotgun is just so American." I almost cried I laughed so hard at that!

Celebrities lose their baby weight quickly because they can hire people to cook for them and train them and take care of their babies while they are doing all this. In this area the stars are NOT like us!

Kittenish has gone to the dogs...

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Boosh and/or Kakow!: Too true - that song rocks. I saw EW&F and Chicago together last summer, and it was quite awesome.

Hamsterpants

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> i'm still reeeally holding out for jamie lynn's baby being master p's grandbaby.

bigtittycommittee

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Nooooooo.... that's Giselle's "tush", not Tom's. That makes me ca-ray-zee.

Also, that might be the first Aniston cover I've seen that didn't also have either Angie or Brad on it.

lisas

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Look no further, Ryan Gosling. I'm right here.

MyFirstAndLastName

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @Sukie in the Graveyard: Oh yes he does. He looks like he's under 21....POUNDS OF WASHED UP.

*high fives self*

Um, I don't care about Britney and nobody else should either.

Celebs lose baby weight because they starve themselves, get liposuction, and then snort coke. Heaven forbid a woman have a normal body and not be a size 2, baby or not.

CopyofBlueboy

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Ooooh did Gwyneth wear white to the Beyonce/Jay-Z wedding? Tsk tsk! Isn't that generally a no-no?

emandem

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I read "they were like heatseeking missiles." as heartseeking missiles and nearly threw up.

mystery white girl

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> @BritneyCanadaWhore: I don't know about the meth holes, but yeah, she was a meth addict a few years ago (she lost some teeth, I think). Sad.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> BI: Danny DeVito

And why does Jennifer Aniston's face look like Heather Locklear in that picture. There's some facial weirdness going on.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> i have to say i agree with the beauty of web cam dates. they can make the distance a gazillion times more bearable to see the person you're talking to and missing.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Please leave Britney alone. She's in the early stages of recovery. The only people who need to be prying into these issues are her doctors and chemical dependency counselors.

(addressed to no one in particular)

petuniacat

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Re: fig. 3 - really? That's Tom's tush? Because I'm pretty sure it's actually Giselle's. Objectification ftw!

dontdrinkthehaterade

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Brad Pitt does NOT look like he is under 21. Who ARE you fooling?

Sukie in the Graveyard

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> I didn't know stephanie tanner was having a baby! the news probably broke while i was in my cave not hearing about the KITH reunion tour. isn't her brain all full of meth holes? am i wrong?

BritneyCanadaWhore

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> The first dance was to Earth Wind & Fire's "September."

I hope that's true. 'Cause I love that song.

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Wait... "Body After Baby... Winners and Losers?!?!" What. The. Fudge?! This is a contest?

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> You know, I can buy not recognizing Brad Pitt as, you know, Brad Pitt... but there is no way he looks underage.

AuntieBee

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> This is the highlight of my Wednesdays. Need the trashy cheering up after reading about the evil in this world from previous posts. Thank the Jezebel gods for This Week in Tabloids.

honeybun

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Jeez, Tina... I loathe when parents start pressuring newlyweds to breed ASAP. But then again, she may already be preggers.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[This Week In Tabloids: Celebs Lose Baby Weight; Britney Relapses]]> Can I just say that so far, I love how Jamie Lynn handles her pregnancy. She's mostly staying on the down-low and her baby registries (real or not) haven't been too over the top. BritBrit could learn a thing or two from lil sis.

QueenOfOuch

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