Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of - Jezebel Comments

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

brittney2007 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:53:25 EDT

@golddigger:
Same with me, too. First time I had my hair highlighted I was 8. It was bleach blonde and as I look back, with my now dark auburn hair, I have no idea why I wanted to be blonde, but it was fun for me.

brittney2007

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

jhuang — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:28:09 EDT

I remember BEGGING my mom for highlights when I was in sixth grade and all my friends were getting them.. seven years later I still don't think she'd approve of me dying my hair but I'm totally grateful that she didn't let me before.

jhuang

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Her Grace — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:34:24 EDT

@gherkinfiend: Real henna should NOT make your hair fall out. Ack! What in the world did you use?

Her Grace

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Her Grace — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:24:59 EDT

I dunno. I think I'd be cool with using safe dyes (like real henna (I'm a redhead of 6 years thanks to henna) or manic panic (I've also rocked atomic turquoise)); by necessity, these are at-home only deals. I'm personally allergic to standard dyes, and won't use them on my kids. But it's just hair. I agree that tramp stamps and makeup and waxing (!) is too much, but letting a kid have his or her hair coloured isn't a big deal to me. It'll grow back.

I had my first highlights, thanks to my dad's at the time boyfriend, at 12. I've been slowly trying to forget what colour my natural hair is ever since.

Her Grace

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

TurtleFace — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:03:06 EDT

ummm, my mom (henceforth known as Rita) gave me a HOME PERM when I was 5.

That is child abuse.

TurtleFace

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

shananigans — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:14:00 EDT

I can't. even. comment.

shananigans

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

wordinedgewise — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:21:44 EDT

you all should relax. when i was 10 i would go to the salon to have my bikini line highlighted, then get it waxed off while smoking bubble gum cigarettes and sipping virgin melontini's. i had to look hot in case i ran into jonathan taylor thomas at contempo casual.

wordinedgewise

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Ellabella — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:16 EDT

Please don't say, 'tramp stamp'.

Ellabella

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

belmontmedina — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:55:15 EDT

My mother started relaxing my hair when I was five. It was so thick, I would scratch sores in it because my scalp got NO air. It's got nothing to do with wanting to fit in or look like a Disney princess or what the hell ever. It was easier for her, and for me, pure and simple. I've tried going natural, and you know what, she was right. It's just easier.

As for the highlights, it doesn't bother me much- I remember one of my friends in middle school realizing her face wash bleached her eyebrows...so we swiped it through her hair as well. Personally, I think the moms are just getting suckered into paying waaay too much for something easily accomplished with some lemon juice and Kool-aid on a Saturday afternoon.

belmontmedina

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

BiBiVirtue — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:24:50 EDT

I'm 24 and my hairdresser makes fun or me for not dying or adding coloured extensions to my hair. What's wrong with a natural hair colour?

BiBiVirtue

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ELovejoy925 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:04:10 EDT

My mom is a hairdresser so I've been dying my hair since I was about 10. I've had just about every color (red, blonde, black, purple and brown) and I'm only 18. That being said, I enjoy being a chameleon and I definetly don't think my mom was wrong to let me experiment. Makeup and hair weren't her strict areas- it was grades, behavior, etc. and I've turned out pretty well.

ELovejoy925

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

BeAgrestic — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:16:38 EDT

@4eyes: "ittle southern girls?"

YIKES. This little southern girl has always been a brunette and has never gotten a mani or pedi. And comparing Hilton Head and Fayetville is like comparing Detroit to Palm Beach.

Not all southerner's are like the people featured in this story. Sorry to be really picky, but I'm sensitive to stereotypes like that.

BeAgrestic

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Erinjb — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:21:29 EDT

I put hot pink and blue streaks in my sister's hair when she was 5. It looked really cute. It washed out. I come from a camp where hair is hair...and it grows out when you cross the line and have it mandatorily cut off to meet the dress code at your school.

Erinjb

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

scarlettletter — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:39:22 EDT

who remembers getting a perm around the age of 10? The year would have been 1987-1991 or so. Guilty. Highlights are th new perm, this story is not that shocking. Although the bikini wax thing is still weirding me out.

scarlettletter

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

denises_24 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:33:44 EDT

At the age of 33 I have only in the last year started having my hair professionaly colored once a month because managing the grays was beyond my abilities. I still feel guilty about spending a couple of hundred dollars a month on it when I work like a dog and earn every penny! WHO is paying for this?????

denises_24

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

MadameOvary — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:20:50 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: and RyanB and Sugarless and Incognegro - Thanks so much ladies, I will def be be looking at these sites. Yup, Haitians do love the ribbons and other decorations and my child does NOT. I am just trying to keep some hair on her head long enough for her to make her own decisions about it. I have tried to STRESS to her father that he should be combing only with lots of conditioner, etc. but he still insists on doing it when it is dry and when she cries he says 'Girls in Haiti don't cry'. GRRRRRRRRRRR. If he had any hair to comb I would rip it out. Luckily she only sees him every other week-end, though when she had her hair cut short last summer he had a fit and didn't see her for month, told her she wasn't his child and a lot of other crap no child should ever hear. No surprise we are divorced, as if you could ever really divorce a Haitian.

MadameOvary

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

4eyes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:08:20 EDT

fayetteville? hilton head?
this isn't anything new. little southern girls commonly have that sad, ashy blonde hair that never looks natural, never looks healthy, and never really improves anything. but, until cheerleading and pageants and the rest of that pomp & circumstance is eliminated from their culture, little southern girls will continue to highlight their hair, join momma for a mani/pedi, and aspire to be the true real, live barbie doll. all while carrying a sequined bag they bought at claire's.

4eyes

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

cassie-la-barraque — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:09:44 EDT

@KathrynwithaY:
Thank you! I now have TWO cousins who at 16 decided they "didn't want to go to school anymore". And dropped out. These are not girls, by the by, who had to go work the fields or help out with the family business. They just didn't feel like going anymore. What makes me even crazier is that the parents continue to pay for their acrylic nails, highlights, low rider jeans and Victoria's Secret g-strings that poke out above said low rider jeans. Even if being a friend to your child was the point (and it's not) this is NOT being a friend to your child.

cassie-la-barraque

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ThatsMS.Ktoyou — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:16:07 EDT

@talk2tehhand: You mean, you respect your DIL enough to *gasp* ask her permission before doing something with her child? Brava! You're a rare breed, indeed. My ex-MIL didn't think she had to ask my permission to do anything, including let my three year old steer her car while she drove. And she wondered why I made sure she didn't get her mitts on my kid again....

You and my mom could give MIL lessons. "How To Be A Good, Fun Grandma WITHOUT Disrespecting The Grandkids' Parents 101."

ThatsMS.Ktoyou

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

alecksander — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:02:09 EDT

oh and i also got my ears double peirced in third grade. i wanted them because my teacher had them. my mom was so cool about it.

alecksander

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

alecksander — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:01:09 EDT

I don't think hair dying is as big a deal as bikinni waxes or spray tans. I remember this one day when I was in 5th grade my grandma took me to get hilights and bought me an awesome green velvet dress. Nothing bad happened to me. In fact I have a much more natural approach to beauty than most of my college peers. I don't wear make-up or tan or get fake nails. I think it's a problem when a girl is too young to really care and her mom forces it on her. Or if it's treated like a neccessity, a standard. And of course aspiring to look just like your idol is dangerous. But damn, I had fun with my grandma that day and nothing can change that.

alecksander

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Diane_Court — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:52:44 EDT

I think there's a big difference between messing around with Sun-In, koolaid, and drugstore stuff to color your hair and experiment, and going to a salon and paying big $$$$. Even high school seems young to start that, unless it's for prom or something.

But after the waxing article last week, highlights seem almost quaint!

Diane_Court

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

gama-gama-hey — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:50:51 EDT

I don't see the hair coloring as such a big issue, but I somehow missed the BIKINI WAX article last week. That sickens me.
Around age 10 I wanted my hair dyed and my mom did it for me. When I was 16 (and had my own job to pay for it) I started going to the salon for my dye jobs. I still do, though it's even MORE of a treat now and I actually have a few greys to cover. Grumble.

gama-gama-hey

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

emzoar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:39:26 EDT

The woman who dyes my hair told me that one of her clients had a kid in the snooty private school who wouldn't let her pick him up from school if she wasn't wearing designer jeans like the other moms.

emzoar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:21:06 EDT

@foodandshoes: I say don't worry about the future. Your daughter will have a good role model, you. My mom made sure I saw all sorts of people and my family helped me just be okay being me.

I'm 40 years old and when I answer my aunt's phone her friend still say they think they have the wrong number because of my voice. My aunt just tells them how ignorant they are.

I'm sure you'll be a great role model. And we need more open minded people in all colors.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Aaryn — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:14:32 EDT

stabbbyyyyyyy

Aaryn

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

NewsBunny — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:39:24 EDT

My mother gave me terrible home perms beginning at age 10.

It was awful. I was fat, ugly, and now girl of Irish decent had a six inch tall Afro. Why? Why did my mother hate me so much?

NewsBunny

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

saradanger — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:38:20 EDT

When I was five I decided that I wanted my hair put in braids like the black girls I went to school with. My mom actually took me to have it done, and I sat in a chair for what seemed like an entire day to get my waist-length dirty-blond hair put into tiny braids with lots of multi-coloured wood beads. I loved it so much I saved a few of the beads all of these years.

saradanger

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

blackbirdfly — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:14:49 EDT

@RyanB: also to foodandshoes: @Sugarless: @ulookinatmyjunk: I just wanted to say I read your posts about how you were made to feel as little girls and it broke my heart. I'm glad y'all shared it here because I'm sure many of us would never have known the half of it. And maybe the more open people are about it, the better things will be for little girls in the future.

blackbirdfly

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

sonofabiscuit is sprinkling greatness — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:10:14 EDT

My future children will wear muddy overalls with short hair until they're 12. The end.

sonofabiscuit is sprinkling greatness

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Incognegro Interrupted — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:07:45 EDT

@RyanB: Not sure if you all have read The Color Complex by Russell, Wilson and Hall. It speaks to a lot of the internal race issues within African-American community...good stuff.

Incognegro Interrupted

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Meangirl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:07:41 EDT

Oh yes, like a lot of others in the 80's I got a perm in the 4th grade. I'm Chinese so can you image how bad that looked? I did it till I was in eighth grade till I discovered Sun-In, bottled hair color, henna, bleach and Manic-Panic. I felt like I was expressing myself, back then- how many ways did I have? So to those heralding the apocalypse because of a few highlights, it can turn out ok. My hair actually bounced back from all the torture and just hangs out now au natural in its thick dark stick-straight glory to my waist. Oh, and I have hairy legs and a degree in Feminist Studies too.

Meangirl

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:06:16 EDT

@foodandshoes: Don't worry about "threadjacking". Just treat it like you're a stalled car in rush-hour traffic and tell everybody to go around you until the situation is dealt with. :)

Have a good night ladies. deuces.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

buzzgirl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:04:47 EDT

@RyanB:
Last comment - sorry y'all. Wanted to mention RyanB, I'm black, too and haven't chemically treated my hair in almost 10 years. I'd love to have a discussion about black hair up in Jezzie.

buzzgirl

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

buzzgirl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:02:02 EDT

By the way, my "no big deal" comment relates solely to the hair (which grows out, anyway). Not to the other crazy shit.

buzzgirl

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:56:28 EDT

@RyanB:

I was just going to say that. I'm glad we met and got to talk about this too. (And yeah, I'm missing some names, please forgive me.)

I hope you all have a great evening too!

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

buzzgirl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:52:08 EDT

When my daughter was 5 she asked if she could have a purple streak in her hair. I thought "why not?", so I took her to my friend who was a stylist at the time. I'm not sure what the big deal is...

buzzgirl

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:50:14 EDT

@foodandshoes: @Sugarless: @ulookinatmyjunk: I gotta get going, but I'm glad we've opened up this topic here on Jez. I'd love to see the Pecola Breedlove issue come out as a full post so we can really get into it. So deep and so complicated, this love/hate we have with our skin and our eyes and our hair. It's so nice to get everything out in the open and discuss this with women like you.
Have a great night ladies :)

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

gra — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:48:52 EDT

Meh. I got a perm in the 3rd grade at age 8 or 9. It didn't last long so I got another perm in the 4th grade and it was crazy 80's crimped-look. Also, I swam a lot in the summer and my blond hair turned green. So, I had a half grown out perm... in green. I was the one who insisted on the perms and at the time, I thought it was so much fun, even though it didn't look very good.

I also got my ears pierced at age 3, it was my idea and I loved those little gold studs.

I am not an insecure adult and I'm really glad that my mom let me experiment. These days I don't dye my hair and I'm pretty happy with myself, so I'm sure that experimenting at a young age didn't cause me any harm.

gra

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

randomnessish — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:48:36 EDT

I first dyed my hair when I was 7--dark brown, at home, by my mom. And while that sparked a long road of hair dyeing (eventually leading to my hair turning slightly green at the age of 14 which was, coincidentally, when I stopped and almost had a heart attack), it was mainly because I was a really weird kid. Seriously. Every other month my hair would be a different color--first it was brown, black, then red, then BRIGHTER red, then FIRETRUCK red, then hot pink and purple, then "Midnight Blue," then...green. And now, at 18, my hair's auburn.

I don't know about these spoiled little girls, but for me, it was mainly curiosity, enjoyment at the fact that I could change the COLOR of my HAIR (omg!), and intense, extreme, boredom (okay, ADD). The difference, though, is that these girls are being shown by their moms that you need it to be beautiful--my mom got grey hair in her 30's and never dyed it, and was content to let me have my little childish whims.

randomnessish

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

snarkhunting — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:48:04 EDT

@ceejeemcbeegee (back to normal): I'm white, but I had my hair done all the time as a kid. (Perms starting at about 6 or so, professional haircuts at cheap salons from about the same age, b/c my mom couldn't cut my stick-straight hair.) I think the highlights for kids under 11 might be a bit much, here, as are (obviously) waxings, but I'm totally confused by the rage towards their mothers over things like haircuts and chemical treatments. I thought it was fun! Beauty treatments do not equal theft of childhood.

I was allowed to wear make-up at 12, but soon found it to be too much trouble. I stopped getting highlights at 18 (after having had them fairly regularly since age 12 or so). And yet my mom was *adamant* that I have a regular childhood--I played with dolls until I was a teenager, for heaven's sake.

snarkhunting

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

LahFawnDuh — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:46:02 EDT

I can def plead 80s on the perm in fourth grade. Before that I didn't get much exciting stuff done to my hair although in my Cyndi Lauper obsessed faze I would've looooved punky colored hair :(

LahFawnDuh

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:46:01 EDT

@STICKSnSCONES: Yeah, I couldn't wrap my head around the whole "black" thing at first either. I thought, "I'm not black!"

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

foodandshoes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:42:51 EDT

@Sugarless: @ulookinatmyjunk: @RyanB: Ladies, lets get together and cry for the Pecola Breedlove in all of us. I live in fucking Oregon, the whitest place on earth save a Klan rally, and I also get the "not black enough" bullshit from whites who don't see me as "black" because I am not some stereotypical image they have in their heads. I am black, my parents are black, my high yellow Grannie is black, fuckit, my white cousins are black. My Irish boyfriend is becoming "black" and I too am a bit afraid to have little girls both because of the lack of a black middle class in our town that I can steer her towards to have positive role models other than Mommy and the fact that any child between pecan-colored me and translucent-redhead him is going to be light. I hate that her political identity as far as race in this country will be determined by something as arbitrary as the brownness of her skin and the kinkiness of her hair. Will whites feel freer to make derogatory comments about blacks around her if she is light? Will she have some strange self-hating advantage in the black community if her hair is straighter?

BTW, this is a total thread jack and I apologize. I guess I have a lot on my mind.

foodandshoes

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:40:34 EDT

@foodandshoes: Yeah, I didn't realize it until a close friend told me, that I had some deep-seated issues with lighter-skinned black women. White women never really bothered me because they were somewhere "over there" and I wasn't going to ever get "there". So, I understood it to be unattainable and thusly, a non-issue. I was proud of being who I was. However, the little light girls used to kill me. I was never as pretty as them. I always heard that I was "pretty for a dark-skinned girl". I remember a little biracial girl telling me that she was yellow, but I was blaaaccck. And she said it with such disdain, that it broke my little heart right there. I've carried that for a long time and didn't even know that I was so resentful until it was brought to my attention. This cultural self-hate goes deep.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

STICKSnSCONES — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:37:51 EDT

@Sugarless:I had similar experiences and completely relate to what you are saying.
I also didn't have a good understanding of race as a child (who does really??) and once told my mom, "I don't know why those kids keep saying I'm black. Look at me, I'm beige. Right mom?? Beige. Or maybe tan."

Poor little me, I thought "color" was about actual color. Sometimes my mom still laughs about that day. LOL!

STICKSnSCONES

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

goodcheapfun — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:34:24 EDT

There is also baby plastic surgery to fix your ugly baby (seriously). Most of this shit comes from the insecurity of parents. I believe in traditional parenting. Why not is promptly answered with "because I said so". Nuff said

goodcheapfun

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

LoSpaz — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:33:58 EDT

@TheOtherJen: I, too, was a slave to the highlights for years. I went red. Best decision ever.

I had a perm at 13 because my hair was so oily that it would get dirty halfway through the school day (even though I'd just washed it that morning) and inevitably someone would sneer "Washed your hair lately?" at me in the halls. Well, the chemicals sure sucked out the oil, but the matting! I had huge knots in my hair that I had to cut out. And my hair really hung on to that curl. Cut it all off a year later and resigned myself to twice-a-day hair washings.

If my future daughter is so unlucky to inherit this hair, I think I'd let her color it over getting a perm to get rid of the greasies.

LoSpaz

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

librisdraconis — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:33:54 EDT

I got a perm in 5th grade, highlights in HS at some point.

I'd vote for letting the girl get highlights. I'd just take along her little brother (cousin, what have you) and let him laugh his ass off at her with all that foil in her hair. Bet that'd make her think twice about whether it was worth the trouble.

librisdraconis

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

motokitty — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:32:23 EDT

My grandma gave my mom a home perm when she was 6. This was in 1944. So I don't think little girls having their hair done is a brand new thing- perhaps just more of them now. Not that I agree with it - I'm thankful I didn't give a shit what I looked like until the 7th grade. That was early enough.

motokitty

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:30:11 EDT

@Sugarless: Yes, yes, yes. I never doubted my intelligence, but man, was my self-esteem lacking in the looks department. And I also got accused of "acting white" by the black kids. Felt like I couldn't win for losing. My mom told me I was beautiful, but it didn't always feel like it was enough to protect me against the things I saw in the world or the constant reminders of how I was "lacking". *Sigh* Kinda makes me scared to have a little girl, because I don't want her to go through that.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

foodandshoes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:29:43 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: The really funny thing is that I always thought of it in a "I will never be white so why try to conform to white standards of beauty" type of thing, but then there are still "acceptable" standards of beauty that black women are held to no matter what all those stupid white girls who were always on a diet in college liked to tell me that black women had it easy because that "we like fat people." Um, no. The black standard of beauty may have bigger (natural) tits and a round ass, but she's got a waist. She also has naturally loosely curled hair-or dreads or extensions, and her skin color is about the color of a grocery bag at the darkest. Insidious and damaging. I now know that I had internalized a lot of that but I bubble-wrapped my mind with a lot of feminist thought and books on color theory and anti-colonialist mindset and blah, blah, blah and when it came down to it; I just wanted my pretty hair back and I wanted to weigh 130#. ugh. The self hatred is so hard to get away from.

foodandshoes

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:27:46 EDT

@Sugarless: I felt many of the same things she did as well. And I can totally relate with you on the "not black enough" tip - I always felt this way. It's like no place is quite right.

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ebethneu — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:23:58 EDT

I worked at a fancy salon and mothers would bring in their 7 or 8 year old girls for highlights and I flat out refused to. I got written up for it, assholes.

It may have been their salon but it was my liscence. I won't cut a mullet and I won't dye a childs hair.

I started coloring my hair when I was 14, but younger than that and it irks me.

ebethneu

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:20:51 EDT

@RyanB: I really identified with Pecola and not because there was abuse in my house, but because I always felt invisible because I was a little black girl in an almost all white environment.

I never felt pretty. Smart, yes, yes, yes, but pretty? No.
It did not help that people who looked like me were always saying I wasn't "black enough". I used to think I couldn't win either way.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

aquadisiacinlove — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:19:11 EDT

I was pretty young when I got my first highlights...about 12? My mom encouraged me to get them...this was when no one else was dying or bleaching their hair. Now I see little girls come into the store where I work and they've got all these highlights and they're what, 5? That's crazy talk.

aquadisiacinlove

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:18:04 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: @foodandshoes: It's so hard to love everything about yourself when you're young and all you see is those Pantene commercials showing all the women with flowing hair. My parents told me I was beautiful every day, but I still used to make my mom buy me Pantene because I thought my hair would like like that. I never saw beautiful black hair on tv. It's a huge issue - reminds me of The Bluest Eye.

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RainbowBrite — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:15:30 EDT

Ok, honestly, I've been dying my hair since 7th grade, probably. First I was doing the sun-in/lemon juice thing, then I graduated to "Natural Instincts" at camp one year (Tequila Sunrise color). I think I first got my hair professionally dyed in 10th grade (a terrible dark red semi-permanent) and have been dying ever since.

I guess the point was always like, experimentation and stuff and not trying to look sexy, older or like a celebrity or anything.

RainbowBrite

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:13:34 EDT

@foodandshoes: All of this has been fun, but my heart still hurts for the way little black girls are made to feel about themselves. I know all girls have to swallow some shit, but little black girls seem to get an extra dose. It takes something like that to happen, in order for you to realize that you were not loving yourself as completely as you should or could have.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ivamarie — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:08:16 EDT

I should add to my above that the reason for the home perm? 'Cause a kid shouldn't need no (at the time)$40 permanent, according to life in my household. I didn't go to a "stylist" until I was a teen and that was mainly cause puberty gifted me with hair that was straight on top and spiral curls underneath. (Between that and the massive metal braces, my scrawny bod and an adoration of Day-Glo, I was like a character out of a Judy Blume book.)

ivamarie

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

VPea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:05:52 EDT

@STICKSnSCONES: Awesome. Thanks.
You should - you will love it. Good luck!

VPea

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:05:26 EDT

@Incognegro: Ha! Waves for the Babes, Curls for the Girls. Naw, my mom hasn't threatened to put her curl back in, however, she did find her Eddie Murphy, leather hat that he wore in the Golden Child and she threatens to wear it to important functions. And somethin' tells me that she's waiting for her red leather suit to come back in style. It's funny the tactics parents use to scare us.

It's also funny the odd turn this thread took. It went from bikini waxes for kiddies to jerry curls. But I must admit, I like it. It's been fun.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

foodandshoes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:05:02 EDT

@RyanB: My mom and her roomie (who live in Bangladesh) offered to come over and kick the woman's ass for me. Did I mention that they're both religious aid workers and that those were their actual words?

Oh, yeah, I cried. My BF cried because I was so sad. The good thing that came out of this was it forced me to realize that in all of my 'counter-cultural, no daily makeup-wearing, quarterly leg shaving, down-with-the-patriarchy, women who buy into that bullshit are so sad, feminist me' I had actually swallowed a lot of it myself. A lot of my self image and feelings of beauty was tied up in my hair. And even though I grew up in a house where the "good hair/bad hair" (false) dichotomy was not allowed, I realized that I bought it too. I was vain about my hair and I don't feel pretty without it. I now "get" why women put themselves through a lot of unnecessary bullshit around their hair; I just was lucky enough to have it growing out of my head.

foodandshoes

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ivamarie — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:04:37 EDT

Dude! The first time I even cared about my hair I was maybe 10 or 11 and had my mom and gram try to home perm me. I got one sad little wave in the front and nothing else and decided that caring about my hair wasn't for me.

I then rocked a side ponytail for nearly two years and got really good grades. Go figure.

ivamarie

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

gherkinfiend — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:04:05 EDT

@inapartydress: 10 years later I still love my short hair...and without that I would never have had the balls to chop it all off...but now I entrust my colour to a nice dose of ammonia with hint of peroxide courtesy of Nice n'Easy...and have indestructible thick glossy locks!

gherkinfiend

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

pssshwhatever — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:00:46 EDT

I'm usually on board with the commenter outrage at stuff like this, but as far as hair color goes, I honestly don't know why it matters as long as the kid is old enough to consciously decide that they want it (read: older than 10). When I was 11 or 12 I tagged along with my mom to the salon and the lady that does her hair threw me a bone and put some burgundy streaks in my medium brown, curly hair. It was with a semipermanent dye and took her about 15 minutes, but I felt so awesome and rebellious. My mom let me continue to do it regularly and ten years later, I'm still having my hair dyed regularly in some way or another. I've been red, blonde, and now dark dark brown, and I just do it because I think it's fun to look different, not because I'm adhering to some amorphous societal standard.

My mom also let my brother bleach his hair at the same age with some of the leftover dye from her color. So it definitely wasn't a gender thing, at least in my family.

Waxing and that stuff? Obviously for adults only. Hair color? What's the harm, as long as it's the kid asking and not an adult suggesting?

pssshwhatever

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:57:50 EDT

@Iconocleft: I have to twist them back on a regular basis.
I also see someone who uses some knitting tool to make them tighter. I love her - she saves me the two hours it would take for me to do it, but it does take an hour for her.

She also tells me I have too much hair and that it's too thick.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:57:28 EDT

@Iconocleft: But so many people think that she's being very original and clever with that cut. So, shhhh, folks are still sleeping.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Incognegro Interrupted — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:57:04 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: Oh they do, don't forget Hawaiian Silky AND Wave Nouveau... and not to leave the boys out, S-Curl!!!

My mother is still trying to sneak the "I think I will put a curl back in" by my sister and I...She quickly gets ridiculed into submission. For shame.

Incognegro Interrupted

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Iconocleft — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:55:42 EDT

@Sugarless: No wrap! How do you do it?! My locs look like a pile of burnt ground beef when I don't wrap it up in a scarf at night!

Iconocleft

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

FairhairedOptimist — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:54:24 EDT

@tscheese: $45 for highlights? I don't think so, I'm just happy to get my little 10 year old tomboy in a chair long enough to brush her hair. The sun gives her terrific highlights for free. Some moms are just goofy...Actually I'm a goofy mom, but also a very cheap mom....

FairhairedOptimist

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Iconocleft — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:52:52 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: YES! My kinks, too, revolted. I don't know that I'll have dreads for the rest of my life but I'm sure not going back to that madness. I had cute Halle Berry of my own, though. And I just about flipped when Salt's assymetrical bob reincarnated as Posh's blond cut last summer!

Iconocleft

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

STICKSnSCONES — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:52:30 EDT

@VPea: No, don't be worried! Your link says formaldehyde free. Mine had the bad stuff in it. My hair was awesome though. I ususally get relaxers but the whole keratin/conditioning angle of the brazillian treatment made me want to try it. My hair is fine, the treatment wore off after about 3-4 months, and I've just gone back to relaxing.

But now that I see this formaldehyde free version, I may be getting it again!!

STICKSnSCONES

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

MahvelousDahling — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:52:04 EDT

When I was 14 I went on a school trip to Florida and bought some Sun-In. I came back a mousy dishwater blonde no longer, and told my skeptical Mom "The sun did it." Until my roots came in and she discovered my bottle of Sun-In. I haven't seen my natural haircolor since! Good times.

MahvelousDahling

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

JSouth — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:51:27 EDT

I started helping my friend dye her hair as a freshman in high school because she had already started to go grey, it really ran in her family. Other than that, nobody really colored their hair, except maybe with highlighters while bored in class. 6 years old? Hell no.

JSouth

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:51:14 EDT

@foodandshoes: Damn, they still sell Carefree Curl? Your granny sounds like mine. She's all "Girl, with all that hair you really need to do something with it". I think it's the age...the whole philosophy of "Straight Hair Is Best" is too deeply ingrained. So, take the hot comb like a soldier, girl. That's just a lil' grandmama love, right there.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

wunderkind314 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:49:20 EDT

When I was 10, Highlights was the magazine I read at the doctor's office. It had crafts! And no Hannah Montana!

Ah, the halcyon days of yore.

wunderkind314

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

inapartydress — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:48:51 EDT

@gherkinfiend: Oh my god! That is awful. I always felt super glamorous because of the cartoon hippie goddess on the box with her ocean of red hair. Now I know to stay away from the fiery-locked succubus.

Then again, maybe she'll lead me to sexy hairdresser love. I'll have to weigh my options.

inapartydress

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:47:33 EDT

@foodandshoes: You're in good company.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

TastyBites — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:47:17 EDT

I'm still on my 'if they bleed' rule. Normally I think 12/13 depending on the kid is the right age for this sort of thing, but when a little girl starts her period at 8 or 9, she's going to be dealing with acne, and if a little make up makes her feel better, more power to her. If she needs to shave her legs and pits, let her do it. It's hair dye. I'm very 'meh' about the subject.

Now when said 8 year starts dressing like my sister when she was a 19 year old vixen, there's a problem. Hair dye alone does not overly sexualize a child. Hair dye, mini skirts, low cut tops, and heels make 10 year olds look 16. And that is bad juju.

TastyBites

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:47:08 EDT

@foodandshoes: :( that story hurt me... losing my hair by way of chemicals was always one of my biggest fears.

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

We Don't Live in the 60s — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:47:08 EDT

I got my first and only perm at 9 because I wanted one. And it was the 80s. I've been coloring my hair since I was about 14, and have never looked back. My parents had other rules but I could do what I wanted to my hair. I'm pretty thankful for that.

We Don't Live in the 60s

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

DoNotStalk — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:45:56 EDT

@JessicaLovejoy: Or that your hair is brownish blonde and it's just going to turn your hair Florida orange?

DoNotStalk

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Rizzofoshizzo — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:44:21 EDT

Now I know why my 13 year old looks at me like I'm insane when I refuse to get her high lights. I keep telling her, "That's a bit beyond your age, hon." And she's appalled! Well, it appears many of her friend's mothers don't share my views because many of these girls have highlights!! I am still saying NO. Because I do not think it's appropriate for young girls. Regardless of what Miley Cyrus is doing with her hair. Is it a case of mothers living vicariously through their daughters? That seems to be rampant everywhere I look, whether it's at my daughter's dance studio or at a high school football game! Now the salon. Mom never got to be the prima ballerina or have her hair the way she wanted it. Heaven forbid she denies her precious little princess. Let's not forget the cost involved in this process, at least $100 after tax and tip. You're setting up your little girl to have one hell of a beauty budget as she grows up. Not to mention encouraging vanity up the wazooo. I'm guessing these little apples haven't fallen too far from the tree. I mean, why in the world would a little girl tell her mother that she needs to cover her greys?!!! I was so (and am still so) in awe of my mother, her depth of character, her amazing work ethic, her unconditional love - I never even noticed she had grey hairs. Sad what this mother (and apparently scores of other mothers) is instilling in her child. That it's what's on the outside that counts.

Rizzofoshizzo

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Incognegro Interrupted — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:43:50 EDT

I forgot www.motowngirl.com and www.antiagrant.com for product and homemade stuff...

signed,
an incurable product junkie

Incognegro Interrupted

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

foodandshoes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:43:42 EDT

Hello, fellow black Jezzies. I couldn't even get my hair pressed until I was 7, first relaxer when I went away to boarding high school. I am a totally wash and wear girl-got relaxers every 12-16 weeks until last summer when I went to a salon and a totally stupid stylist put Care Free Curl on top of my previously relaxed hair...bye-bye hair. I cut my hair into a bob to help mask the loss in volume and when enough grew back I got braids for the first time since summer camp. I always planned on going chemical free when I got pregnant, I just did it a little earlier. Until this mishap, I always had long thick hair which I attributed to the lack of heat on my head. Although, whenever I visit my Granny she insists on running a hot comb through my hair. She calls my usual styles "radical hair."

foodandshoes

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:43:12 EDT

@Iconocleft: It came to a point where my hair just gave up the ghost and started to resist the perms. That was when I knew it was time to stop getting them. My hair's been natural since I was 15--so 10 years--but I can't lie, my Halle Berryesque cut was cute. As was my geometric, one-side-longer-than-the-other Salt and Pepa cut. I used about 5 curlers and 4 different combs to achieve the look, but my shit was on point...yes, child, yes.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

kitkatsplash — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:43:00 EDT

There's a big difference between an 11 or 12 year old getting a single highlight of a fun color like blue or red AND a mother who takes her 9 year old to get highlights because her hair looks dull. That's just sick.

kitkatsplash

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

wednesdaywolf — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:42:59 EDT

@misssgolightly: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's *not* hypersexualization. In fact, that's awesome.

wednesdaywolf

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Incognegro Interrupted — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:42:11 EDT

@angryblackgurl: Bwah! Pink and Red are NOT the same color...Ribbons, clips and ruffles on dresses...

Incognegro Interrupted

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Incognegro Interrupted — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:40:48 EDT

@RyanB: That is so true. I had a relaxer and asked for a wash and trim (this was a while ago) and was told they don't do ethnic hair...oh...I havent been to a salon in 18 yrs.

Incognegro Interrupted

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

noseriously — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:40:44 EDT

I found my first grey hair at 23. Hoped it was my horrible ex-BF. Nooooooo. So I just pull out the "traitors" and hope for a little more time before having to dye it (35 now, and it's coming in strong).

I actually don't care whether my kids dye their hair as long as it's safe (no dye in the eyes) and doesn't involve their hair falling out. But I will not be paying $100 for little Bunny to be getting highlights and a cut every 6-8 weeks. She can get a job babysitting.

noseriously

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:40:32 EDT

@Iconocleft: I see women and their hair does look so glossy and nice, but then I remember what they went through to get there. And all they'll have to do to maintain it.

I like just going to bed at night. No curlers, no sleeping sitting up, no wrap etc.

And the men can run their fingers through my dreads.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

TheGintheCity — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:40:19 EDT

@tscheese: HA! I am the queen of knocking over glasses. I think I need a squeezy sports bottle dedicated to all my drinking needs. Hilar!

TheGintheCity

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

MillyMoo — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:39:28 EDT

I got my hair relaxed when I was 14. My mother let me because she could tell how frustrated I was with my curly hair (The straight Jennifer-Aniston look was in). And she wanted me to be confident in my appearance. Not because she was a bad mother. I actually thank her for it because I could walk around with my head a little higher.

Rest assured, I learned to love my curls when I turned sixteen and I stopped burning it to smithereens. But we all learn these lessons.

MillyMoo

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

hamburgerhotdog — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:38:51 EDT

@goldengirl11: I'm always amazed when really small kids have intricate cornrows because those take HOURS to do and I can't imagine getting a three year old to sit still for that long and comply.

hamburgerhotdog

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

goldengirl11 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:36:08 EDT

A few of my preschoolers 3,4 went to the salon to get perms (relaxers) for their hair because their parents couldn't deal with their hair. I thought it was really, really crazy because they were SO young, but I have no personal experience styling African-American hair.

Personally I wasn't allowed to do anything to my hair, or get piercings, etc. Or have a tv in my room.

goldengirl11

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Jus — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:36:00 EDT

My aunt would get pissed at me when we would hit up the makeup counters at Nordstrom and the women clad in black would throw more samples at me than her. I was around 15 and she 30. She could afford and use the $50 moisturizer. I on the other hand would give them out as stocking stuffers for christmas.

Poor women thinking they were getting new customer. I still wear my brightly metal named eye shadow six years later.

Jus

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

The Boyg — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:35:41 EDT

All I can say is if at the age of twelve I'd suggested to my mama that she needed to color out the grays... well, let's just say that it would have been extremely ugly, and chances are I wouldn't have made it to the eighth grade.

She did, though, ask me at about that age if I wanted to get my hair done by her hairdresser as a special thing. I'm not entirely sure if it's a good thing, but I think in the case of a lot of girls at age 11-13 or so moms are recalling how awkward and ugly they felt at that age, and are just trying to help their daughters get through that tough time with some confidence. I think the problem really comes in when it goes from special event to a planned and expected beauty routine that the girl can't live without. Personally, I was a major tomboy, I turned my mom down (at least until I was 15...).

The Boyg

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Iconocleft — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:35:15 EDT

@Sugarless: @ulookinatmyjunk: My mom gave me my first relaxer at 5 years old. I had my last at age 24--dreads for the last 4 years. I'm suprised I had any hair left to dread after two decades of chemical burns.

My sister still gets her hair relaxed, and I admire a fresh, glossy, precision cut on a sister. I do wonder what repeated, long-term use of that creamy acid does to the body. Can't be good for you. It's like soaking your head in Drano! I love how the labels on every brand of relaxer, from the industrial-sized pro salon version to the $10 DIY home kits, all instruct the user to "take care to keep the relaxer OFF the scalp. Impossible!

Iconocleft

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

scaram0uche — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:35:03 EDT

The rule in my family was no [extra] piercings, no tattoos until 18 but hair grows back. I got my hair henna'd professionally in 7th grade. I haven't seen my natural hair color since then.

scaram0uche

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:34:52 EDT

@hamburgerhotdog: Ouch, that's awful. Truth is though that even the nicest salons don't really know what to do with black hair

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Sev — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:34:28 EDT

wait...pregnant women can't get highlights?

Sev

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:34:14 EDT

@ExtensionOfBob: It took my mom a while to get used to the fact that I wouldn't go to the hairdresser. But then she realized how much money and time I saved.
I do not have five hours to spend at the hairdresser on Saturday.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

hamburgerhotdog — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:33:35 EDT

@Incognegro: Those website are really good--thanks! Both my nieces are mixed (half black/half white) and my sister and I are kinda at a loss as to what to do with their hair other than just giving them the two puffs--have gorgeous naturally curly hair (my sister and I are stick straight, limp fine hair). She's in rural Texas so there's really no salons nearby and everywhere she's taken them they're like, "We don't do black hair" (stupid, I know).

hamburgerhotdog

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

puritanicalish — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:31:59 EDT

so proud to be former 1st runner up tiny miss virginia right now.

puritanicalish

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

dontbogartthewine — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:31:46 EDT

I was never allowed to get a perm and my mom told me to eat my bread crusts instead because that makes your hair curly. LIES! But spending more than $7 on a haircut was not really an option til highschool.
But I went to school with a girl who modeled and her mom started dying her hair at age TWO to be red, because she had freckles and wanted everyone to think her daughter naturally looked like anne of green gables. She can only wash her hair about every 2 weeks now.

dontbogartthewine

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

HereKittyKittyKitty — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:31:37 EDT

I remember my first professional haircut. I had just gotten rid of the headlice my seatmate on the school bus gave me in 2nd grade. My mom took me to the salon to build up my self-esteem after my family was so blatantly disgusted by the critters crawling on my head. The look on the stylists face was priceless when I said, "Well Mama, I guess if the lice weren't gone before, now they are." Priceless.

HereKittyKittyKitty

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Usedtobealice — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:29:46 EDT

@ineffable.me: Is there anything to wax?

Usedtobealice

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

VPea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:29:40 EDT

@RyanB: I still use Curl Activator!

VPea

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

VPea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:28:38 EDT

@laserena: Shit I do not know. I am a few months behind on Allure. I saw the formaldehyde one but nothing about the one I just got done. I am going to google alot tonight

Anyone heard of fusion hair extensions? Ya I got those too - they were well over a G and I got a few bald spots. Hair can be a pain.

VPea

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

clairek — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:28:18 EDT

my hair started to darken at age 12 (I was blonde when I was younger) so I was thrilled that my mom let me get highlights. I don't think I was too young... I don't put hair coloring in the same category as slutty clothes or tramp stamps. Although my mom did let me have multiple piercings in each ear (5! in each ear!) by the age of 10... but I loved it. Still do.

clairek

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:28:07 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: Or cholesteral

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:28:00 EDT

@angryblackgurl: Oh, I remember the sound, the smell, the screaming.

My mom would make my grandmother hold me still until she started feeling guilty about my tears.

I still know people how hot press their hair.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

gherkinfiend — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:27:49 EDT

@inapartydress: henna made my hair fall out...on the plus side, when I had to get it cropped to salvage it, I met a really hot hairdresser who was great in bed...and discovered I rock short hair...

gherkinfiend

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

layladylan — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:27:49 EDT

My mom did home perms on me when I was in elementary school. I didn't like it, but she thought it looked better and made me do it.

I started coloring my hair in junior high. I wanted to do it, but my mom encouraged it. When I was in high school I decided I wanted to go darker and stop being blonde. My mom hated it until I got my hair colored blonde again. When I did, she actually said "You're back!" like something had been wrong with me before. I was 17, not 8, but it still really bothered me.

layladylan

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:27:34 EDT

@angryblackgurl: Blue Magic!!!

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:27:31 EDT

@angryblackgurl: Queen Helene?

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:26:45 EDT

@ulookinatmyjunk: Whenever a friend of the family would do my hair they'd always burn my kitchen. And they'd always either blame the grease or the steam.

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

angryblackgurl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:25:39 EDT

@Sugarless: Remember the sound of your hair FRYING with the hot comb?? Very few can recall the sounds or the smell....with that blue scalp hair grease!!!!

angryblackgurl

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

tscheese — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:25:12 EDT

@sidneyprescott: I HAD THAT! In green! And gold, and dark copper. It smelled great but the texture was sort of awful. Like once you applied it you couldn't touch it.

tscheese

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:25:04 EDT

@Incognegro: I know, your knuckles and your scalp would be soar. It's like "dang mama, I just wanted to know how much further you had to go".

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

TheOtherJen — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:24:47 EDT

Highlights are a slippery slope girls. Be forewarned! I started getting them when I was 13, b/c I was naturally light blonde and it got a little darker and I wanted it to be brighter. Now, at 23, I am a slave to the chair. I have to keep doing them b/c I hate my natural hair color (it's a hideous, mousy, gray-tinted light brown. Not pretty golden brunette or anything.). Unfort, I tried going darker for a while to avoid going so often and everyone recoiled, including my Mother whose idea it was to start getting the highlights. So now I am back to every 2 months. ugh.

TheOtherJen

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

tscheese — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:24:25 EDT

Also: I'm as whitebread Midwesterner as they come, and most of my friends had perms by the time they were in like first and second grade. It was the thing for little girls to do, I guess. I mean, it was 1988, and they saw the look on their moms and in magazines, and they wanted it.

I am glad I NEVER did it. I did, however, staunchly maintain ass-length hair (that I never brushed) until I was about 14, when in a fit of pique I slashed it all off and left the braid on the kitchen table.

tscheese

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:23:00 EDT

@RyanB: The burnt ears and neck were the WORST. Then they'd tell you "Awww, baby, that's just the grease poppin' on your neck". Damn, this is bringing back memories. Like wearing that one sponge roller in your bangs and taking it out right before you walked into the church or school.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

sidneyprescott — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:22:14 EDT

Whatever happened to those mascara wands you could use to give yourself fake streaks? I know my almost black hair looked faaaabulous with weirdly placed copper stripes.

sidneyprescott

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

laserena — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:21:03 EDT

Still haven't had my first highlights...

@Jezebabe...is a stern and angry midget!!!!: My grandmother did that to her kids (my mom & aunts) in the 40-50's. Not such a new idea, really.

@VPea: Didn't they have this same article, but with make-up, like, a month ago?

laserena

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

CreoleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:21:02 EDT

@Incognegro: I would jump each time the hotcomb made my hair sizzle. My mom gave up on the hotcomb by the time I was 7.
That and she had to buy me things to make up for the burns.
If only I'd known that relaxers were the next step.

CreoleSugar

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:19:40 EDT

@angryblackgurl: Even worse is when you get to that phase where it just won't "take". So, you let it sit well past the maximum time. Then you take it out and it's still kinky as hell. I remember trying to press my edges when that happened. Awww, memories.

@RyanB: I never learned to swim because of all of that hair trauma. I remember my mama yelling "Nooooo" like the apocalypse was near every time she caught me on the Slip and Slide. Funny thing is, now she's got locks hanging down her back and my hair is as kinky and natural as the day is long.

ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

richcreamerybutter — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:19:27 EDT

@jennfizz: I don't mind the processes on kids in general, but in this generation of little girls the intent and result is so mind-numbingly boring. It seemed that girls in previous years wanted to at least look interesting, but kids in this NYT article are aspiring to drink appletinis at Sushi Samba with their investment banker boyfriends.

richcreamerybutter

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

RyanB — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:19:16 EDT

@Sugarless: I just got my hair done and decided it best to stay away from the gym for the week.
@Incognegro: I'm happy to be nappy too. I never knew how awesome my natural hair was until I grew out my relaxer 4 years ago.

RyanB

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

gherkinfiend — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:18:55 EDT

@rah29: We weren't allowed anything more than one pair of small plain studs, one in each ear...but I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 17 so that didn't bother me.

I had an undercut and used to dye it so I could put my hair up and be rebellious when I wanted...but I always wore my regulation scrunchie while I was doing it. I even managed to find some very odd nail polish in the same shade of blue as the uniform...with the same co-ordinating red as tips...part of me wants to laugh, part of me wants to hang my head in post precocious shame!

@jennfizz: Highlights as a treat? Perms you saved up for? Totally different to encouraging or demanding little girls to do themselves up like strippers before they're even in double digits!

gherkinfiend

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Mego — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:18:38 EDT

These three words from the NY Times article say a lot:

"lucrative niche market"

I guess if you build it, they will come. Sigh.

Mego

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

inapartydress — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:18:31 EDT

I was only allowed to dye my hair with henna, per parental decree, until sophomore year in high school - and only then with semi-permanent dye. This story frightens me.

inapartydress

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

hamburgerhotdog — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:17:55 EDT

@angryblackgurl: My stepmom was in beauty school and practiced on me (trust me, it wasn't at great as it sounds) so I had a perm before I was even out of grade school. She wanted to do highlights, too, but I'm already super blonde and the permed mullet was bad enough.

hamburgerhotdog

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

tscheese — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:17:54 EDT

@RemoteCommander: I fucked it up BAD this past summer and it grew in all wrong. I had to part it on one side for like MONTHS. Fortunately it's short enough that it didn't take too long for the damage to grow out, but Madame Tscheese drinks less now for a reason.

tscheese