Eat Me - Jezebel Comments

Eat Me

DerWachtelschlagFliegender — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:33:11 EDT

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "makin' bacon."

DerWachtelschlagFliegender

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jhuang — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:08:00 EDT

@publicknitter: that's what I thought, too!

jhuang

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voltaireonfire — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:19:24 EDT

@tscheese: bizarre performance art! we built an angry yellow kitchen out of cardboard and wore white dresses. hooray for art school.

voltaireonfire

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manykindsofthings — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:49:30 EDT

My two favourite things do not mix well this way, AT ALL. Gross.

manykindsofthings

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Skinny Bone Jones — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:24:27 EDT

This is foul. Do not want.

Skinny Bone Jones

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EleanorRigby — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:42:30 EDT

Treif!

EleanorRigby

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partypooper — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:26:48 EDT

Now at the golden arches, the McGirdle.

partypooper

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Emily — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:19:58 EDT

Blarg. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

That said, I love bacon and boobs are ok.

Emily

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zoobabe — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:12:17 EDT

@halloweenjack:

good one! My friend's blues band was named "Jelly Roll Antennae" which would go pretty well with syrup.

zoobabe

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:59:53 EDT

I am off to have a ham sandwich as a direct result of you fucking dykes. THANKS A LOT.

tscheese

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halloweenjack — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:57:35 EDT

There's a blues song to be written about my baby's syrup jar, I'm thinking.

halloweenjack

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zoobabe — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:54:55 EDT

this pic made me think of a punchline:

you're so ugly, you could wear a bra made out of bacon and guys still wouldn't fuck you!

although I'm craving a BLT right now.

zoobabe

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aprilsimnel — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:53:13 EDT

Next up: Bearclaw bikinis!

aprilsimnel

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katastic — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:49:34 EDT

Uh, lady? You have some pig-ass on your bosom.

katastic

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mightymouth — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:47:49 EDT

Yeah, I would wear this - if I were married to Homer Simpson.

mightymouth

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KimberleeJ — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:42:00 EDT

See? It's crap like this which is why the terrorists hate us.

KimberleeJ

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:37:09 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: But we can shaaare the crown of bad jokes! Bad jokes rule!

Tiaras are more my speed anyway.

@Meg: Yeah dude. I'd prefer a pork roll bra. Pork roll is at least pre cooked. Nom, nom, to the nom.

tscheese

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nex0s — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:34:56 EDT

I made a meat shawl, once, for a halloween costume. Prettier than this thing, but that was roast beef, not bacon.

nex0s

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PrairieGirl — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:34:36 EDT

Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for a bra to wear under my meat dress? [schools.walkerart.org]

PrairieGirl

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dontbogartthewine — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:33:33 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*:
Aww wasn't trying to make you cry or barf! Was just saying that you are not alone in thinking they are josie grosie.
As result of that much scrapple/bacon/egg/grits/turpentine/lard combo he threw up forever. It was actually hilarious, because he ate it. Excused himself. And came back half an hour later a changed man. hahaha.

dontbogartthewine

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AGreenEyeDevil — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:31:05 EDT

Can't get beyond the trichinosis connection to find the humor or daring in this one.

AGreenEyeDevil

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flynnchick — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:28:14 EDT

"Eat me" is one of my favorite fuck-off insults.

flynnchick

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Meg — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:27:18 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: Why are you trying to hurt me?

@tscheese: I don't mind food, in general, it's the uncooked food -- especially wearing uncooked food -- that I have issues with. It's not like I have a fear of scones, or anything.

Meg

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:26:20 EDT

@tscheese:
*takes off crown of "bad jokes that only I giggle at" and passes it to tscheese with a tear.
I've had that crown all my life.
:(

Muffyn

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amowls — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:26:17 EDT

...Ew?

amowls

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lautaylo — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:25:34 EDT

DO NOT WANT TIMES BILL-YUNZ!
Has this woman never heard of trichonosis?
[en.wikipedia.org]
I think that's MY definition of a bad day. DO NOT WAAANT!

lautaylo

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thatsspinach — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:22:11 EDT

This is so fucking disgusting.

thatsspinach

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:21:50 EDT

Also, for everyone else who is feeling a bit delicate in the stomachular regions today: Please avoid any and all threads in which I really, really get going about food. I am like some kind of unstable unstoppable chowhound. This is why I weigh roughly manatee and discourse so fondly about all things edible.

I will keep my ham adulations and ululations to this thread today, though. It is so...ahem..."fitting." (Get it! Bra! Fitting! Oh god I crack myself up.)

tscheese

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bifteck-frites — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:20:30 EDT

@tscheese: OK, now you've got that Ween song in my head.

bifteck-frites

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:20:10 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: Let's just say "odango" and think vaguely of a service with which you can buy movie tickets. With paper bag puppets. Little paper bags are welcome for nausea, right? That helps, right?

God, this is tangential. What was I talking about?

tscheese

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bifteck-frites — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:19:57 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: Actually, scotch eggs are delicious. I mean, really, really delicious. Especially when eaten with Branston Pickle -- the only way.

bifteck-frites

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:15:32 EDT

@dontbogartthewine: WHAT? is this a "make muffyn cry/ puke" thread now? gosh. "exploded" as in.... vomit? or... what...??? (WHY am I asking?) lol.

Muffyn

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:14:05 EDT

@Meg: heh. read the post on tscheeses' link up above on Scottish Eggs(go back about 5 posts on it) and there is a post on steak tartare. we'll hold back each other's hair.

Muffyn

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dontbogartthewine — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:12:57 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*:
My friend decided to see what would happen if he ate 3 scotch eggs in a row at our local pub. He exploded.

dontbogartthewine

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Meg — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:12:24 EDT

Blech! Granted, I have issues, but the rawness of the bacon is really skeeving me out. If they'd added raw egg to the mix, I would have had to spend the day curled up in the fetal position.

Meg

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:10:30 EDT

@tscheese: lol, I was feeling better until I remembered SM's nickname is meatball head (or dumpling if you go Japanese). I'm just on allergy meds and haven't been able to eat so seeing meat in "interesting" forms is tweaking my tum-tum.
I'll take the salts thank you. And maybe a scone/ crumpet/ cinnabon.
thanks luv.

Muffyn

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:08:21 EDT

@Sally Tomato: Y'know what else I lurve? Scrapple. I can find it in a few Jersey diners, but not so much in stores. I lived in PA for a few years and I LOVED it.

tscheese

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:07:35 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: I didn't mean to make you sick! How can I cure you? Moon Healing Escalation? Some smelling salts? Promises that I will actually try to be funnier today? Promises that I will never talk about pork again?

tscheese

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BlindKarma — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:06:09 EDT

I now understand Islam's hatred of the West...
This is wrong on so many levels... An abomination against God, fashion and food

BlindKarma

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Sally Tomato — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:05:54 EDT

@tscheese: Oh man, nom nom pork roll is right. I can only get it when I go home to PA. Taylor. Nothing else comes close.

Sally Tomato

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:05:36 EDT

@tscheese: ok i got carried away reading that blog. I was distressingly fascinated by it until I read the steak tartare post. Now I am just weeping under my desk. I'm drooling out my mouth NOT because it all looks so good, but because I am so nauseated I can't even swallow.
Thanks!
:(

Muffyn

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LaComtesse — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:05:27 EDT

@cate3710: I think we're TV twins. For those reasons plus Top Chef,and South Park, I don't think I could be without cable.

@kitschenette: @gigisinatra: Grazie.

@ineffable.me: True, but should one REALLY wear Patrami after 30? ;-) Awww. Now you've gone and done it: I want pastrami on rye now!

LaComtesse

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Sally Tomato — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:05:15 EDT

It's oddly kind of pretty. Except for the smell, of course.

Sally Tomato

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:04:29 EDT

Also: Where can I get a fucking terrific porkroll, egg and cheese sammie in Midtown Manhattan? I live in Jerz and you can't throw a rock without hitting a big tube o' porkroll, but I work by Rock Center and I can't seem to find the damn stuff.

Pork roll pork roll pork roll nom nom nom nom.

tscheese

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Lady Skittlehattington — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:02:38 EDT

@lalaland13: Or if you date livestock.

Lady Skittlehattington

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tell Dolly Parton again — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:01:25 EDT

@dosido: HOLY GOD. That sounds amazing.

tell Dolly Parton again

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gigisinatra — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:01:24 EDT

@LaComtesse: haha - that's amazing! All that's missing is the obligatory "But it's so comfortable!" from ye olde bacon boobs.

gigisinatra

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ineffable.me — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:00:25 EDT

@LaComtesse: Plus everyone knows that Pastrami is the most sensual of all the deli meats.

ineffable.me

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kitschenette — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:59:34 EDT

@LaComtesse: LOL! Best comment of the day thus far.

kitschenette

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lalaland13 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:57:59 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington: This is also a good device for torturing your Jewish boyfriend.

lalaland13

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cate3710 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:57:46 EDT

@LaComtesse: Ha!

The only times I miss having cable are when I want to watch What Not to Wear, The Daily Show, or L&O marathons.

cate3710

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lewbers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:57:27 EDT

Thanks. Now I am officially a vegetarian.

lewbers

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GettinSome — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:57:10 EDT

Bacon porn! I don't dig on swine, but this would make an awesome lubricant for some pearl necklace fun.

GettinSome

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stoprobbers — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:57:08 EDT

@tscheese: Say "bizarre performance art" pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...

stoprobbers

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:56:31 EDT

@voltaireonfire: I must know why you chopped up seven pounds of pork in front of your class. Is it bizarre performance art? A culinary class? What!? What what what? Spill!

tscheese

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♥ dosido ☮ — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:55:46 EDT

Best internets bacon story yet.

♥ dosido ☮

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LaComtesse — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:55:19 EDT

@KathrynwithaY: I'd love to see Stacy and CLinton take on the bacon bra on "What Not To Wear"

Woman in 360, wearing bacon bra: This is something I would wear when I go out to a club. I love the way it makes my cleavage look and it smells nice.

Stacy: Okay, we're gonna stop you there. HELLO!

Clinton: So let's talk about the cleavage for a minute. this bra is doing you no favors.

Stacy: And what kind of guy are you going to attract in this thing?! We need to find you an outfit that will attract the RIGHT kind of guy.

Clinton: Deli meats are a great way to bring protein to your wardrobe in an age appropriate , tasteful way. Stacy and I both love a bolgna skirt, or a nice sliced ham dress with an empire waist.

LaComtesse

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pureblarney — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:52:53 EDT

Do. Not. Want.

pureblarney

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voltaireonfire — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:51:07 EDT

I don't understand how people can be so repulsed by raw meat, and still continue to eat it.

I think this is disgusting but hilarious! this is coming from the girl who chopped up seven pounds of pork in front her class last month for a homework assignment.

voltaireonfire

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reader123 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:50:15 EDT

Finally! We were on the moon in '69 but it took this long for a bacon bra?

reader123

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:50:13 EDT

Also, my tits are porkroll only.

tscheese

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spectatertot — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:49:23 EDT

ok, i had to know where this came from so i followed the link trail to this:

i don't really know how the idea came up... at some point after too many tequilas and my friend talking about how to get more men interested in her, someone said, "wait, men love bacon and boobs, why not combine the two? that's a million dollar idea right there!"

everyone laughed but it never came up again until christmas -- in the middle of the party my friend makes her grand entrance modeling her new prototype -- victorias secret, you interested? :P

via [www.flickr.com]
click through to the next 2 pictures if you want to see a dude pretending he's going to take a bite out of it. i'd post it here, but the image of someone's mouth that close to raw bacon might make someone queasy.

spectatertot

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:49:23 EDT

@Muffyn *my bunny does crack*: If you think THAT'S bad, check this out. Some dude procured an OSTRICH EGG and made a scotch egg out of it!

tscheese

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kitschenette — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:49:13 EDT

Seriously, I feel kind of ill looking at that.

kitschenette

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cargirl86 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:48:57 EDT

America's Next Top Model rip-off much?

cargirl86

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hellodarling! — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:43:06 EDT

I can't decide if this is brilliant or horrifying.

But now I really really want bacon.

hellodarling!

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Jessi Ramsey — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:41:19 EDT

Hawks are going to attack this women.

Jessi Ramsey

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:41:16 EDT

@KLondike5: I volunteer to be that muffyn!

Muffyn

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:40:25 EDT

@tscheese: you made me wiki scotch eggs. now I can't eat breakfast. That does NOT look appetizing.

Muffyn

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prickles — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:40:19 EDT

@of_a_tuesday: Yay hedgehogs.

My boyfriend was alarmingly entertained by this.

prickles

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NefariousNewt — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:39:50 EDT

Available at Macy's, Bloomingdales, and fine supermarkets everywhere.

NefariousNewt

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earlylatetwenties — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:39:49 EDT

Anybody remember that album cover from the early 90s (i think) with the girl wearing the steak bra? Who was that?

earlylatetwenties

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KLondike5 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:39:46 EDT

@cate3710: I would agree for most cheeses, but that's the beauty of good ol' American cheese slices - they melt at the slightest hint of heat.

It's not a springtime look, but let's say a stack of Kraft singles, a hair dryer set to warm, and a jar of Bac-os... That's a hearty winter breakfast. You could also stuff a muffin in your undies for a full, balanced meal.

KLondike5

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NefariousNewt — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:38:49 EDT

@pinkyBella: Yeah... if you want wild dogs chewing on your nipples.

NefariousNewt

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KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:38:38 EDT

@LaComtesse: Hahahaha "dude! I LOVE breakfast meats AND boobs!" I can definitely see the thought process on this concept.

However, so greasy and probably not good for sensitive skin. Plus, I wouldn't want my coworkers/friends/family sniffing me.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

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NefariousNewt — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:38:06 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington: If it were cop humor, she'd have doughnut nipple rings.

NefariousNewt

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:37:35 EDT

@DorothyZbornak: The mannequin is constructed entirely out of hashbrowns. Her boobs are definitely made of eggs, yes, and the interior of her body is lined alternately with pork roll and sausage. Her heart is a Scotch egg. Her liver is several tomatoes.

tscheese

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zivah — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:37:30 EDT

I sent this picture to my lover with the subject line "best of both worlds"

zivah

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tell Dolly Parton again — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:37:24 EDT

@tscheese: I was just wondering when you would chime in on this!

Does this remind anyone else of David Sedaris' story about his brother acting out A Christmas Carol, and applying strips of bacon as mutton chop sideburns? Amazing. I want to be best friends with the Rooster.

tell Dolly Parton again

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bigtittycommittee — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:36:21 EDT

titties and bacon: my two most favoritest things ever. hot damn.

bigtittycommittee

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DorothyZbornak — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:35:20 EDT

There better be some sunny side up eggs under there.

DorothyZbornak

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pinkyBella — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:35:03 EDT

nothing like nipple flavored raw bacon!

pinkyBella

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Leiakat — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:34:20 EDT

I have a hard enough time keeping the man of my tits, why would I add bacon to the mix?

Leiakat

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ineffable.me — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:34:10 EDT

@cate3710: well, i dont like my bacon crispy, i like it chewy. I think it could definitely happen. mmm.

ineffable.me

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:33:58 EDT

@Macloserboy (Who Is Finally On Facebook For You Bitches): Why is that bacon ruining my woman's boobs!?

(Psst: Two great tastes that go great together.)

tscheese

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LaComtesse — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:33:37 EDT

This exists because a bunch of potheads got high one night and said "What are the two best things on earth... other than weed?" And two at the same time said "Bacon!"/"Boobs!"

And that, boys and girls, is the story of how the bacon bra came to be.

LaComtesse

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cate3710 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:33:25 EDT

@KLondike5: Crispy cooked bacon and melted cheese on skin would HURT, though. If it was cool enough to be on your skin, it would be congealed and nasty.

cate3710

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tscheese — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:33:14 EDT

O hai, food discussion! You called?

Thank you for giving me an outlet this morning for my pork love, Jezebel. Kisses!

tscheese

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KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:33:04 EDT

Now, I love bacon a lot, but I would never, ever wear it. Eat it, yes. Wear it, fuck no. I would have it on for maybe five seconds before my dog attacks me for the bacon-y goodnness.

Plus, the ewwww factor is way off the scale on this one.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

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telecomic the big dumb dog — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:32:57 EDT

the first bra approved for use with the Atkins' Diet.

telecomic the big dumb dog

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publicknitter — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:32:47 EDT

So did that "meat panties" episode of ANTM inspire this??? It just seems weird to drape dead raw flesh over your bits. I hope that chick takes a shower before strolling through her local dog park.

publicknitter

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Muffyn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:32:10 EDT

that is not a bra. that is art. A bra you wear under a shirt to support your boobies. If you wore a shirt over that.... I can't even begin to think of the grossness.
But nonetheless, NOT from the picture, but just reading "bacon bacon bacon" is making THIS veg miss it!

Muffyn

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BowlingForDollars — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:32:04 EDT

I want the veggie bacon version. And, as a lezebel, breakfast time will take on a whole new meaning for me.

BowlingForDollars

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tranquilmademoiselle — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:31:52 EDT

I love boobs but that's still not enough to make me like this bra. Why make a bra out of bacon? How would you wear that under a shirt?

tranquilmademoiselle

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goldberry83 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:31:47 EDT

D: Do not want!

goldberry83

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cate3710 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:31:31 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington: Cop humor? Perhaps if it was a bra with donut cups and bacon straps.

cate3710

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Eeva — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:31:11 EDT

Oh god, my eyes are screaming. (To clarify: not screaming "Baaaaaconnnnn", just screaming.)

Eeva

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rednrowdy — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:46 EDT

this is eerily close to that 'bodies' exhibit thing.

rednrowdy

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KLondike5 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:35 EDT

Do it with crispy cooked bacon (stuck on with melted cheese maybe?) and you've got yourself a deal.

Raw bacon - not edible, but probs very moisturizing on the nips.

Or maybe! You could lay out in the sun on a really hot day? Hm...might hurt a little though.

KLondike5

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cate3710 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:16 EDT

@ineffable.me: Cooked bacon would be too crispy to work with, I think.

cate3710

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♥ dosido ☮ — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:30:14 EDT

I StumbledUpon this the other day and was perplexed. I am even more perplexed to see it displayed on Jez. It is as though I am being stalked by breasts swathed in raw pork product, and I do not think anything I have done deseves such karmic retribution. *whimper*

♥ dosido ☮

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Lady Skittlehattington — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:29:37 EDT

There is cop humor all over this.

I can't find it until after coffee.

Lady Skittlehattington

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of_a_tuesday — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:29:36 EDT

Oh, God. I love bacon. I love breasts. But this is making me want to vomit all over my desk. Fabulous.

of_a_tuesday

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nyobserver — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:28:25 EDT

um, right.

(what blog is this again?)

nyobserver

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magiciannamedgob — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:28:01 EDT

I mean, I knew Victoria's Secret was trying to change their image, but this is a bit much.

magiciannamedgob

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bifteck-frites — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:27:53 EDT

Well shoot, you can't eat raw bacon. This is such a tease. I prefer my bacon super-crispy anyway and there ain't no way you're getting the crunchy stuff to stick to my boobies.

bifteck-frites

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emandem — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:27:50 EDT

I like how the link to the bacon bra website says "Breakfast Nookie." I think most women need a little more support than that! Maybe a bacon bra with edible underwire is next?

emandem

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Jessi Ramsey — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:27:33 EDT

@LipstickLibrarian: I thought that consisted of edible panties that were butter flavored.

Jessi Ramsey

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LipstickLibrarian — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:27:28 EDT

I love bacon as much as the next girl, but I can't stand to have food touching my skin.

LipstickLibrarian

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LipstickLibrarian — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:26:31 EDT

@Centaurea: No, that's from Paula Deen's new collection.

LipstickLibrarian

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fantastic_caverns — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:26:18 EDT

this is revolting to me.

fantastic_caverns

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Centaurea — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:25:58 EDT

I didn't know Tyra had an underwear line!

Centaurea

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Macloserboy — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:25:48 EDT

Why is that woman's boobs ruining my bacon!?!

Macloserboy

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ineffable.me — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:25:11 EDT

If the bacon was cooked, I'd say this was a great idea. If I was a lezebel, this would be an even greater idea and would surely be the gift for my girlfriend for every single holiday.

ineffable.me