(It's a police man) Wanting to know if I was telling the neighbors lies about the 9 year old boy..... holy crap! These people are good! They can flip it around as if they are the victims. They actually went and made a report on me! The police officer did ask me why I never made a report! I said because I know it is what kids do! But considering they cant acknowledge it and feel my son and I are liars, that it is best to keep my son away from them, and to be honest I feel that the parents should work it out and if not, just keep my son down here and away from them! The officer said, there will probably not have any outcome on this! But did comment he thought it was strange that the 10 year old was all shook about it! And said he is old enough to know better.

So here I am, and now I'm pissed!

I want them to do a polygraph, they don't have to do it on the kids, I have no worries that I would pass it! I cant believe these people believe their son over a adult! As if I am making this up! As if My son is not involved! As if I would want the neighbors to think anything about my kid~ I cant believe they would put there own child threw this, just to make me look as if I am making up a rumor! Good Lord! As I find out more, I have heard this (lady the mother of the 10 ) Is always the victim! She got in trouble from school, for grabbing a little girl and trying to intimidate her because I was told by the little girls mother herself that (I guess the girls were making fun of the boy for his drool problem! And There is another lady down the street that will not let her kid play with the boy, because the boy made up a story and told his mother that the lady tried to hit the kids.......I feel bad that these kids have no friend because they get praise when they can make up a story and get away with it!

I dont know what to do! Scarlet

ScarlettRain

Hitting someone in a personal area may or may not be sexual in intent-- kids are getting sexualized earlier and earlier, in a world where eight and nine year olds are having sex, and there are pre-teen rapists, I have trouble concluding that every 7 year old has no idea what sex is and what the implications of his actions were. And beyond that, I do think the larger question is what the girl experienced-- she was upset enough to go to a teacher, so clearly to her it wasn't a harmless mistake. Now, maybe it only went as far as it did bevause of a bullshit zero tolerance policy, maybe they went after the kid because he's hispanic and woodbridge has some serious racial tensions right now, or maybe there was more to the incident, or a pattern of behavior that was an ongoing problem. Either way, I find the "boys will be boys," attitude really problematic.

samethingwedoeverynightpinky

Also, I have an elementary school aged son. "Playing doctor" is just not on the menu. There are a couple of kids who have exhibited some sexual behavior that is outside the norm. All I can say is, you know it when you see it. It's part of an overall pattern in the kid's energy. I don't think the cops should be called, but clearly it is cause for concern.

I grew up in a time (1970s) where there was ALL SORTS of twisted (repressed) sexuality being passed from one generation to another and THAT'S why we were acting it out on playgrounds and in back yards. Now the pendulum has hit the other side - we're so fearful of seeming puritannical or not-hot, we wouldn't know inappropriate if it was posted it on a Myspace page! Or an American Apparel ad...

ThisIsEverything

Seriously the best thing I've read all day. I almost choked laughing at that one.

shananigans

jackimarie

TurtleFace

slightlyflawed

jordalicious

slightlyflawed

pleasehurry

The oxygen is thin up here folks...

BlindKarma

katelizabeth

Oh my god! She's fifteen and having SEX!!!??? She's still a little child and too immature to be allowed to decide what to do with her own body!

Okay, so no one has a sexual thought before their eighteen, we get it.

Now comes this scenario:

Oh that evil boy! He smacked a girl on her butt! He understands all the interpersonal/social ramifications of that, and there for he is an evil sex offender!

Could 'Merikins get any more uptight, hypocritical and fucking stupid?

And before you'all go off on how inappropriate his behaviour was, let me just say that there are many ways of dealing with that kind of thing without scaring the kid for life over a fucking label that will ruin his life.

cynon

We are SO bizarre!

sublimelazy

I used to run an after school program for kids between the ages of 6 and 12. One of the girls would go around kissing other girls on the playground. We all sat down that afternoon and talked about touching in my class room. My rule was that if we wanted to hug or kiss someone (we're talking a peck on the cheek here, not making out-in other words essentially NON-sexual behavior)-the key was always to ask first. And we talked about how if someone asks we can say yes, and let them hug us or we can say no and then not hug them.

The parents of my kids were told about it. I kept it clean with the kids and neutral. The parents all agreed with me, and were OK with the way I had approached the subject (because I left out any specific details on sexuality and kept it to touching in general and consent).

I feel SO bad for this little kid, who probably didn't have sexuality in his intent. Even if he did, making him feel this terrible for expressing something natural is just such a bad idea. Making a child feel like a monster for a natural inclination will probably create a monster. There are other ways of dealing with these issues.

And I like that a lot of people here have brought up the question of whether this was a sexual gesture or not. It's adults that turn this into something that is necessarily sexual.

sublimelazy

awesome!

sublimelazy

rubalicious

AnnieGetYourFun

Adults who slap other adults on the ass at work are let off the hook, why is this kid getting punished so severely?

ichoosemycheezburger

This boils down to consent. If you're playing kiss tag, then you know you're going to get kissed if you get caught. That's consent. If you're six and a six-year-old boy keeps flipping up your skirt or trying to crawl under it and won't stop, that's harassment. Should he be labelled as a sex offender? God, no. But should he be reprimanded, given a talking-to, and made to sit out and think about his actions? Yes.

Small children may not be able to comprehend actions and consequences in the same way that adults do, but they ARE capable of understanding right and wrong IF they are taught the difference. Not scared into the difference, like this kid probably was, but taught it. If we don't teach our boys to respect girls and teach our girls to respect themselves when they're children, how can we be surprised when those same kids turn into harassers and victims?

snarkhunting

professionalcounselor

There's a difference between a 6 year old smacking another 6 year old on the butt regardless of gender and when it happens between adults.

BlindKarma

alecksander

& any other young kids that are labeled as sex offenders before their age is 2 digits long.

Might this actually turn these kids into real adolescent & adult sex offenders?

marytheicecube

What about Scarecrow Tiggy? is crawling through people's legs too sexualised?

This is not a childhood I would want for my spawn.

Charmingbutalarminglydisarming

I understand the big picture that if little girls get the message that boys are allowed to touch them any way they want to, girls will grow up knowing that telling an adult about getting their asses touched on the playground will do nothing. How far of a leap is it from having to get felt up every day at school to having someone date-rape you as a teenager? Protect the victim and they will know that when something bad happens to them, it is their right to have the person punished for it. I have compassion for the victims of the bratty behavior, not for the brat. And I am sorry if you find "brat" offensive, but I find it easier to call a spade a spade.

I also understand the big picture that if behavior problems aren't dealt with early, they get worse. We clearly can't depend on parents to do the right thing. This kid needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. I am sure he thought it was the funniest thing ever to torment the little girl. Give her the change to go to school in peace. The little girl's parents probably didn't send her to school to get her ass grabbed.

Kids can absolutely understand consequences. Hit your brother, go to your room. Pour all your legos down the storm drain, you don't get to play with them anymore. Give kids some credit. They may not understand sexuality yet, but they absolutely understand that smacking someone's ass is different than hitting them on the arm. And kids can be manipulative. They can be bratty. They can be violent and they can bully people.

I find it unreasonable to have a poicy that harassment is only harassment if the victim thinks it is. That is very vague for an important rule. I don't think the child should have his name or picture discussed on the internet, but I also don't believe he should be able to get away with his behavior. I am still not clear on why his right to "be a boy" is more important than her right to not have her butt grabbed.

millelilly

But sexual harassment? I'd argue no.

sequined

katastic

pepsibennett

nardo218

GinnyAerosmith

Kids can sexually harass each other, and it needs to be addressed when it happens. Wasn't it on this site, where a mother told of an 8-year-old attempting to molest her toddler son? I was a sexual harasser too -- and I was being molested at home. Sex power games don't start when you're grownup, and just because kids don't have an adult idea of sex doesn't mean they can't use their own ideas of sex to humiliate and take power away from other children.

nardo218

nardo218

nardo218

clynn

tranquilmademoiselle

She told me of a little boy in her class who made it a point to tell girls how "f***ing pretty" they were, and then he would proceed to try to caress their chest or buttocks. He once told a girl she was "rape-able." Keep in mind, this is a fifth grader, maybe 10 years old, but should this excuse him from punishment/preventative action? Should the parents be blamed?

Regardless of the action taken, the fact still remains that he has brought several girls to hysterical tears, felt up their private areas, and the school can't do much more than counseling/transfer him to another school, to be someone else's sexual harassment problem. Maybe a light-hearted approach to underage sexual harassment shouldn't be the way to approach these issues; while exploring your sexuality as a young child is natural, sexual harassment is not.

laurahatesu

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

millelilly

Jadoremonchat

dearcoquette

delicatedisarray

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

I went to a public highschool in MD and in the 11th grade some kids googled a new faculty persons name and found out he was wanted in 3 states for sexual abuse to minors. Turned out he was getting it on with a couple girls at the school.

BitchIsTheNewBlack

Actually now that I think about it, that might be one reason to involve law enforcement in cases like that--not "cart this kid off in handcuffs," but worry that a child so sexualized at that age is not just a perpetrator in school, but a victim at home.

Meanmllemustard

Snaffles

blackbirdfly

Shit, I still get nervous when I see the police, and I drive a fucking minivan that ain't got no meth in it.

myrtlebeachbum

(Sidebar: Butt tag as an adult has a whole other meaning.)

I also played "the thing" with my best friend, where one of us would pretend to be "the husband" and we would play house. There was some mild rubbing involved, but mostly I recall cuddling.

At any rate, kids will be kids. Hormones will flair up, puberty will strike, and they will be curious. Actions that aren't intended to be harmful, like a 6 year old smacking another's bottom or two 5-year olds giving each other a smooch, shouldn't involve the police. Parents and school supervisors should handle it with a little tact and a lot of understanding. They were curious kids once too, right?

LucyRed

Meg

raphaela

There's a clear line, though, between inappropriate behavior such as this, which needs nothing more than a talk about not hitting and respecting other people, and sexual harassment.

I don't think this kid is a harasser. But I think it's completely naive to say that no child under the age of 10 is a harasser.

snarkhunting

snarkhunting

blackbirdfly

Really the context of this particular event, a 6 year old boy hitting a 6 year old girl on the bottom is not the same as a traumatic event. The girls mother has said her daughter admitted that she didn't like being hit but quickly forgot about it. No child likes to be hit by another child regardless of the genders. This is NOT a case of sexual harassment. Had this boy slapped her arm we would not be reading about it. Children have impulse control issues. That is why when they hit, or bite, or scream or any number of things you let them know it is not acceptable behavior. And you tell them over and over and over again. That is the nature of small children. To go to the extreme of labeling a child, have it forever be part of a school record and involving the authorities is irresponsible on the part of the school district.

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

So instead, please note that the old school Police song "Abracadabra" is better when you sing,

"Abra, abracadabra...I'm a sexual harassa"

I mean, heck, it was already "gonna reach out and grab ya." Same, same.

warmaiden

katastic

clitoryss

mizprickers

marybanjo

It really wasn't fun, and it was really upsetting, to be held down in a deserted corner of the playground and kissed against my will by several boys. Am I making too big a deal out of it? Probably. But I'll never forget how ashamed I was after it happened, and I didn't tell ANYONE about it until I was nearly an adult.

And anyone who's ever had to put up with harassment by 8-year-olds on the school bus knows that that stuff can also be upsetting. Yeah, b/c it's just "fun" and "play" when they're hurting you to get you to show them your non-existent breasts.

I'm not saying that these extreme punitive measures are appropriate--they're absolutely not. (The POLICE? SERIOUSLY?) But at the same time, we can't just ignore some of this stuff and pass it off as "kids being kids." It can be traumatic, and it may lead to attitudes about women and men later in life.

snarkhunting

taylay

PopCultureSavant

Don't say sweatervest to me, you perv!

SBJ

BAngieB

SarahMC

Schools have always punished "sexual" behaviors by children too young to fully understand them, like using profanity or dressing inappropriately. It's only when these behaviors involve sexual aggression that it's the PC police foisting labels on innocent children. (Although getting the ACTUAL police involved is probably a mistake.)

the15th

brittster

krazykarot

Suffice to say, the guilt trip they laid on him haunts him to this day.

It's understandable to lay down the boundaries but that sort of title will FUCK a kid up because really, how do you live it down?

gluecake

CreoleSugar

mutualcraze

SarahMC

CreoleSugar

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

SBJ

bmorefool

the15th

katastic

SarahMC

katastic

dontbogartthewine

blackbirdfly

onedivinehammer

katastic

royal72

The Boyg

SarahMC

jagorev

SouthernComfort

BrookeD

petuniacat

katastic

katastic

@Skinny Bone Jones: Your tomboy is a little brown, right?

BAngieB

I think everyone can agree that the kid should have been talked to and reprimanded, but the anecdotes that dismiss or inflate what happened (we don't know everything)while appreciated are killing the discussion mode.

AnnoyingFemaleLeadVoiceover

And perhaps you punish the kid, but not nearly as strictly as if he'd hit someone and hurt them. Frankly, you make too big a deal out if it, the kid is going to wonder why it's such a big deal. You certainly don't make them a "sex offender".

NefariousNewt

SarahMC

meanjeanne

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

taylay

SBJ

SarahMC

shiningstar loves her president-elect!!!

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

hellodarling!

blackbirdfly

TwiceShy

...

N i s t h a

funnyface

crunkjuice

lisas

I googled that kid a few weeks ago, and he's married and a Baptist preacher now.

formerlydictator4life1

SarahMC

My mom has been a first grade teacher for more than 35 years and she tells me that she's worried because some of her 6-year-old students use language and gestures of a sexual nature that they clearly don't understand. It's beyond exploring boundaries and sexuality and into the realm of the offensive. At her school they haven't registered anyone as a sex offender, but you can bet my mom is on the phone with the parents asap. She thinks it's a combination of kids not only being exposed to sexual images at a younger and younger age, but also being expected to emulate those images (as in, Bratz dolls and belly shirts for little girls) and less parental supervision. Of course, this is coming from a woman who ran our household like a Catholic police state. So maybe a grain of salt is in order.

PhillyLass

But like I said, I don't think every kid who does something like this has a serious underlying issue, and I think there's a tendency to blow things like this out of proportion, and to label the kid.

petuniacat

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Woodbridge is a fairly small town and it was a new school policy to call the police for incidents of assault, etc. The boy wasn't taken to jail, and he's not being prosecuted for anything (the police didn't even arrive until after he had gone home for the day). Yeah, any stupid thing you do in school goes on your permanent record so that's not a big deal either.

The school reacted according to policy, no real harm done to this kid. The kid's teacher called in the news because she thought it was bad policy, the parents are now jumping on the bandwagon(I smell lawsuit).

Kids need to learn boundaries. The travesty is the big deal that's being made out of the school's reaction. That sends a message to little Randy that the school was wrong to punish me and I can do whatever I like.

Afin

dontbogartthewine

Devonna

SarahMC

The FEMINISTS.

buttonflyer

ALittleBitGothic

SarahMC

katastic

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

TwiceShy

the student in question was this sweet little impish jamaican kid. his name was prince (!). and he was funky. she even laughed about it with her fellow teachers saying "prince decided to pat my booty!". he meant no harm and he wasn't being sexual. he was in FIRST GRADE.

rednrowdy

i remember dr. games that were totally fine--kids involved were all super young and it really was about curiosity, etc.

when the 6th grader continually harassed me, egged on by others, on the school bus home when i was 7 or so, until i told my parents, that was a lot more uncomfortable.

when i had a playdate with my dance-class clique mean girl and she made me take my clothes off and play "bar", and i protested, she carried on anyway. and then threatened to tell on me for all the "bad" things i made her do. (this child was pure evil)
i lived in fear for the next 2 years that her mom would tell my mom. every dance class. we were about 8.

after that, things turned giggly-inncoent "omg ewww health class" again, until i cornered a boy on the playground and kissed him on the cheek. he was also my best guy friend, and my best girl friend did the same to her "boyfriend"--the teachers teased us--they thought it was cute/funny, and it was clear that the guys did not enjoy it one bit. we saw it as revenge for attacking us with water guns.

anyway, there is a fine line. i have friends who were involved in much more disturbing scenarios with peers and still carry a sense of shame and burden. i also have friends who were abused by adults around this age. i wonder how those experiences shaped schoolyard antics.

toothsome

katastic

crunkjuice

SouthernComfort

royal72

topsy

AndThenTheresMaude

MaeHemm

spamanda

And I think this boy should have been reprimanded for hitting -- because that is also inappropriate. But I wouldn't assume that this particular action was sexual in nature. That being said, it seems as though this isn't an isolated case for this particular child, and so some sort of intervention is called for.

Meg