Oldies But Goodies - Jezebel Comments

Oldies But Goodies

e.varden — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:36:25 EDT

@badmutha:

Yeppers. My comeuppance has the scent of Eau de Chlorinated Pool...not unplasant, rather antiseptically fragrant.

e.varden

Oldies But Goodies

Elin — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:22:07 EDT

Pink and be-pearled? So it also doubles as a vibrator!

Elin

Oldies But Goodies

ramblinrosie — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 00:50:00 EDT

So it's supposed to make you...DRYer? What?

ramblinrosie

Oldies But Goodies

ceejeemcbeegee — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:06:43 EDT

@LaFemme: Gotcha... cuz I was wondering what y'all meant by "self-cleaning oven"... a daily swipe with a hot damp washcloth can do a world of good...

ceejeemcbeegee

Oldies But Goodies

golden-gama — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:00:05 EDT

@Elisheva: I give you: NodorO:
[www.ismellperfect.com]

golden-gama

Oldies But Goodies

fever2tell — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:13:20 EDT

Oh, PS, does anoyone even use coochie deodorant anymore? I've seen it on the shelves at drugstores but I've always thought of it as a relic form the 70s, like aquanet and masengil, still there but nobody ever uses it.

fever2tell

Oldies But Goodies

fever2tell — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:06:47 EDT

yes. because spraying chemicals on your vag is a really natural.

isn't the snatch supposed to be like a warm, delicious self cleaning oven?

listen people, if you need more than water and mild soap down there you've got bigger problems.

fever2tell

Oldies But Goodies

will_this_dissertation_ever_end?! — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 13:28:58 EDT

@jenny_dreadful: magnolias.

Back when I was a "straight" married lady, I reminded my husband that he had asked me the night before to tell him what semen tastes like, and I had been lost for a descriptive term (other than gross, but whatever). He was brushing his teeth with baking soda toothpaste when I reminded him, and I pointed to the tube and said, "just like that." He hasn't been able to brush his teeth with baking soda since. Nasty.

will_this_dissertation_ever_end?!

Oldies But Goodies

BadStoat — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:21:06 EDT

@Elisheva: I have known some dudes that could use dick deoderant. Sad to say.

BadStoat

Oldies But Goodies

denises_24 — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:09:52 EDT

@special_boots: Funny you should say that! Just YESTERDAY I could smell a woman's crotch in my spin class. She normally LOADS on the perfume and I think I figured out why...

denises_24

Oldies But Goodies

annejumps — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:05:46 EDT

Yeah, Bradford pears are... memorable. I'm in Atlanta and people who move here from elsewhere are known to exclaim in horror in the spring, "What IS that SMELL?"

I find that a certain Oxy facewash I use smells like my ex's semen, and every freaking time I use it I'm startled by it. I guess it's the benzoyl peroxide, since I guess that's a type of bleach.

annejumps

Oldies But Goodies

LaFemme — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:02:04 EDT

@ceejeemcbeegee (star deficient): On the TMI vein of this post...I do agree with you on this. "Self cleaning" is generally true, but I do believe there is a time and place for one of those wipes that you clean with...

"spills and baked-on-caked-on-stuck-on shit" made me laugh out loud. I think this may be one of those times where a vadge wipe is in order. I guess its personal preference but...for me DEFINITELY. I am not convinced that the vadge has THAT great of a self-cleaning feature.

LaFemme

Oldies But Goodies

droplet — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:16:15 EDT

::shudders:: Any substance ending in "-cide" is not something I'm putting near my garden of earthly delights without a damn good medical reason.

droplet

Oldies But Goodies

ceejeemcbeegee — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:53:52 EDT

@KittenFluff: OK.. the self-ceaning oven thing... I get it. Douching and sprays and shit is not good for your vadge.

BUT... sometimes, even tho' your oven is self-cleaning, don't you think you should wipe it down with a wet rag every now and then? For, you know, spills and baked-on-caked-on-stuck-on shit?

ceejeemcbeegee

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:24:05 EDT

@bifteck-frites: It's like, overwhelmingly soapy and bitter. It is just like chowing down on a spoonful of Dawn dish soap. Have you ever tried to eat something out of a bowl that didn't have all the dish detergent washed out of it? And it was like, a really strong soapy taste and you just couldn't let it go without worrying you were going to upset your stomach?

It's that same cloying clinging bitterness. I guess to me it just can't be ignored.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

purplejesus — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:35:32 EDT

Vadges smell clean and fresh with no help from J&J or Pristine or whatever other pussysprays the boys from New Jersey come up with. If there is an odor, it's due to 1) vaginitis--time to see the doc, or 2) male ejaculate has not been rinsed out in timely fashion and causes a fishy odor.

purplejesus

Oldies But Goodies

rowingrowingrowing — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:26:09 EDT

@KittenFluff: YES! My husband's semen often smells exactly like brie (a cheese he adores, btw). Good thing I love the triple cream.

rowingrowingrowing

Oldies But Goodies

banalover — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:59:15 EDT

ok, jezzie needs to take these ads and use photoshop to make an equivalent male product related ad. like so:

Naturally Male (picture of a navy blue can with a wristwatch around the bottom of the can) for when your ball cheese is out of control and you don't feel like washing; for when you are stressed before a meeting and worry that someone can smell the sweat on your sack. Naturally Male is the most effective way to deal with the cause of your genital odor, aside from daily showering.

ZING! Who's with me?

banalover

Oldies But Goodies

LooseBaggyMonster — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:45:25 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): @no no bad choice: Yeah, that scene, and pretty much all of Prep traumatized me. I read it last summer and still haven't gotten over it. Even though I'm nothing like Lee.

LooseBaggyMonster

Oldies But Goodies

haguenite — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:43:24 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): MY legs. Not YOUR legs.

Well, perhaps your legs as well.

haguenite

Oldies But Goodies

haguenite — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:37:15 EDT

@Latulippe: Then you won't mind that I'm gonna say that unless you've ever spent time between your legs, you might want to keep such nasty comments tou yourself.

@no no bad choice: Oh, I could so relate too! I remember one summer these boys I met the previous year started laughing when they saw me, and I heard them calling me Shaggy and I demanded to know what they were on about... and I wish I'd never asked.

haguenite

Oldies But Goodies

no no bad choice — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:19:55 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): I read that book! That part made me feel like dying!! She's yelling at the boy to make him say it out loud and you're going HONEY, you DON'T want to know, STOP. Oh lord. That whole book made me feel like dying, actually. I'm not uppity like that girl was, but I do remember relating entirely too much to her. The trying too hard and not even realizing it part. Sad times!

no no bad choice

Oldies But Goodies

gra — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:09:01 EDT

@Xavoc: Sorry, I wasn't trying to ask if you were in love with your wife. I'm sure you were. I was just curious about how difficult the situation was for you to overcome. But, I understand what you are saying. I think that it can be easy (sometimes) to get over something if you love someone.

gra

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:04:54 EDT

@Xavoc: oh christ. i didnt need that mental picture!

....or did i?

do the hustle!

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

tokyomonamour — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:04:47 EDT

but all the soaps burn!

tokyomonamour

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:04:42 EDT

@zivah: HAaahahhaa! Today's special: Vagina Soup.

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:04:34 EDT

@gra: Yes I was, and I dealt with it by putting up with it to attempt to make her happy.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

gra — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:59:49 EDT

@Xavoc: This is a personal question, but when you were in love with your wife, how did you deal with the fact that you didn't like how her vadge smelled? I feel like that would be a difficult hurdle to overcome.

gra

Oldies But Goodies

bifteck-frites — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:57:06 EDT

@tscheese: It's funny, I guess it's all about taste perception. I can see what people are saying when they say it tastes soapy, but either it's not strong and I can ignore it, or my brain accepts it as part of the flavor.

bifteck-frites

Oldies But Goodies

bigleggedwoman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:53:26 EDT

@BrutallyHonestBabes: See, that's what I was thinking... it's subjective.

In the same way that I like the smell of my b.f.'s sweat when he comes home from work. Just like it.

bigleggedwoman

Oldies But Goodies

Latulippe — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:53:20 EDT

@tscheese: You don't like cilantro because you have a gene against it! It tastes terrible for different people in different ways too! I have a friend who thinks it tastes metallic-y and her mom says its soapy!

Latulippe

Oldies But Goodies

ItchykooParker — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:53:09 EDT

@KittenFluff: LOL Oh thanks! Now I'll never be able to look at/smell brie in quite the same way again!

And I hadn't noticed that before, but I'll check next time.

ItchykooParker

Oldies But Goodies

bigleggedwoman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:50:38 EDT

@tscheese: I like a good brainy joke. Even like bad brainy jokes (these are known in some circles as 'puns').

Oh, you punsters, don't get in a lather, I like puns!

bigleggedwoman

Oldies But Goodies

pixie-stix — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:47:57 EDT

What the hell was this, Lysol in a pink can.

pixie-stix

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:47:51 EDT

@BrutallyHonestBabes: That's possible. I've never asked anyone else she's slept with whether or not they approved or disapproved of her scent.

@ineffable.me: Why do I suddenly picture a piercing supporting a disco ball between a woman's legs?

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:45:51 EDT

@zivah: Mine doesn't smell like tom yum soup!! Sadface!

If it did I'd probably be taking all kinds of crazy yoga so I could reach my face down there and go to town on myself!

Oh, come on, like no one else has ever considered it.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

bigleggedwoman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:45:12 EDT

@SouthernSatine: We had an Evergreen Pear tree in our yard and I always thought it smelled like mushrooms or something. It's a non-fruit bearing tree that has white blossoms.

Hmmm...

bigleggedwoman

Oldies But Goodies

zivah — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:44:08 EDT

@Sugarless: @ineffable.me: Well, fish sauce is different than fish, but all I know is: If vaginas taste anything like tom yum soup (do they?), then I may have to reconsider my sexual orientation. Delicious!

zivah

Oldies But Goodies

Jayne — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:43:32 EDT

@KittenFluff: OMG. I never thought of that. But it DOES smell just like brie.

Jayne

Oldies But Goodies

BrutallyHonestBabes — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:42:23 EDT

@Xavoc:
But I bet the "bad" ones are all in the nose of the besmeller, right?

Ditto on "Don't Hassle the Box". yeah.

BrutallyHonestBabes

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:42:22 EDT

@Sugarless: I've never actually seen JUST that spice before, but it is a big ingredient in tom yum soup. I kind of like it, but some folks loathe it.

I also love lemongrass.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

Latulippe — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:40:50 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): I'm gonna say you may want to start using some soap.

Latulippe

Oldies But Goodies

ExtensionOfBob — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:40:27 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: The cupcakes smell like vagina...?

ExtensionOfBob

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:39:54 EDT

@Sugarless: What?
...that Zivah, was not fish sauce that was offending me.

Sorry, I forgot my comma.

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:38:45 EDT

@Xavoc: doo-DOO-doo-DOO-doo doo-DOO-DOO-doo-doo

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:38:04 EDT

@tscheese: Now I'm going to have to look for that spice to find out if it is the offender.

Umm, way to brillant too with the cooter tasting. I can see it now, "the tannins gave me a major headache the next day" or "this cooter doesn't have any extra sulfites".

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:36:13 EDT

@bifteck-frites: Agh,yeah, dude, I can't get near it. I heard somewhere that some people can smell the soapy compounds in it, and some people can't. I wish I knew what it was like without the dishsoap taste and feel. It's been described as a "peppery parsley", which I think sounds divine.

But all I get with cilantro is the solipsist sadness of soap.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:36:00 EDT

@zivah: I eat seafood all the time - that Zivah was not fish sauce that was offending me.

Unless it was old fish sauce. I just don't likey that soup. :(

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:35:42 EDT

@tscheese: Yes, you don't want them to take you to funky town.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

TeenageGangDeb — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:34:53 EDT

All this talk about cheese is making me want some TASTY NACHOS.

TeenageGangDeb

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:33:01 EDT

@tscheese: STARLIGHT AND WISDOM
HAHAHAHAHAH
you kills me cheese

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

bifteck-frites — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:32:28 EDT

@tscheese: Awww noooo I love cilantro. Everyone loves or hates it, though.

bifteck-frites

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:37 EDT

@Xavoc: I was gonna be all, "OMG! No women smell funky! They all smell like starlight and wisdom!" But I think you probably know more about vadge than me. I wouldn't want to experience a funky one.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

Pinkosaurus — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:17 EDT

@BAngieB: Vulgar!

Pinkosaurus

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:29:22 EDT

@zivah: there's fish in it?

@BAngieB: im sorry :(

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

wolf biter — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:27:40 EDT

@meaghan2k: I note with some amusement that the first piece of grown-up jewelry my parents ever gave me was a pearl necklace.

That explains a lot about my sexual proclivites.

wolf biter

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:27:29 EDT

@Sugarless: The spice could be galanga. I use a lot of tom yum soup paste at home (I love the stuff) but some folks can't get past the smell. It's earthy/citrusy/lactic-acidy, and not in a Chardonnay way either. It's FAAAAAAR better than cilantro, though. Hate that stuff.

OMG, how come I can't be a completely rockin' Lezebel and have vadge tastings? And I could be like, "This one compares favorably to the black cherry and cracked pepper notes of this 2005 sangiovese?"

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

BAngieB — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:26:49 EDT

@ineffable.me: Are you trying to enable me to pass smooth out? Like I need to know what boys smell like. Gah.

BAngieB

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:26:05 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): No, more of a "body chemistry" bit. Everyone's skin and secretions smells a little different.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

zivah — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:25:30 EDT

@ineffable.me: @Sugarless: I love that soup. And, although I don't really condone the whole "pussy smells like fish" school of thought, I'm pretty sure the ingredient you found objectionable was the fish sauce. Interesting.

zivah

Oldies But Goodies

meaghan2k — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:24:53 EDT

@ineffable.me: It's not me. It's Jerri Blank. I can't help it. Sometimes she just takes over my commenting.

meaghan2k

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:24:34 EDT

@Xavoc: "down there" hahhaa

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

haguenite — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:24:15 EDT

@Xavoc: Okay, good. Thought you were saying the opposite.

haguenite

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:24:14 EDT

@Sugarless: I'm so glad I wasnt the only one. My friends all made fun of me when i told them the story. they were all WHAT COOTERS HAVE YOU BEEN SMELLING?

sigh

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:23:44 EDT

@tscheese: Uhm, yeah no. The ex wife smelled foul. I don't know if it was because of how much sugar she ate, but she could have been climbing out of the shower and she still smelled bad.

People who smell funky down there, just smell funky down there.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:23:37 EDT

@tscheese: and balls stick to your leg! and then you try to grab them and you have unstick them and it makes you think of being little and sitting on your great gramma's plastic covered couch!
ewww

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

ArmansCopyOfSwank — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:23:35 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Vulva... isn't that a company that makes 'boxy' cars?

ArmansCopyOfSwank

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:23:33 EDT

@ineffable.me: I know that soup. I ordered it once and then never ordered it again. I couldn't think of what it smelled like, but knew it wasn't making me hungry.

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

MsMerlin — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:22:13 EDT

@tscheese: "Don't hassle the box." Ha! Another good saying for the Jezzie T-shirt line!

MsMerlin

Oldies But Goodies

Kali Mama — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:21:47 EDT

@WhiskeyAGoGo: "Lysol for Labia".

The sad thing is it's not even a joke, lysol was marketed for women tryin to hang on to their man if it wasn't for smelling like a seaport.

Kali Mama

Oldies But Goodies

HeliosHyperion — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:21:35 EDT

So I must spray something unnatural on my naturally scented vadge so that I can smell "naturally feminine?"

HeliosHyperion

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:20:16 EDT

@ineffable.me: It's almost enough to turn me lezebel. Dudes really do smell more earthy, bitter. And they, er, kind of sometimes can be less judicious about the washing.

Women, at the very worst, smell like something that was lovingly prepared in a Crockpot on a cold winter day.

Go Team Vagina!

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

MsMerlin — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:19:16 EDT

@jenalicious: It does look like a can of hairspray. God forbid you ever got them mixed up! Hmmm...gives new meaning to Aussie hairspray's claim of "Hold on tight!!! Sparkling shine spray meets hairspray might. You style is going to shine like the stars at night." ;-)

MsMerlin

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:17:23 EDT

@tscheese: boys smell more..... trapped, humid, dark.

I am glad I've never attempted to eat anything that smelled like peen.

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:17:15 EDT

@bigleggedwoman: YAY. I've been trotting out the joke everytime there is a vagina thread and you're the FIRST to catch it! :D

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:16:27 EDT

@ineffable.me: Isn't it strange about the comparison to vagina as food items? Whereas dudes definitely smell more bleachy and chemical-y?

I think mine smells like limes and something muskier. I don't find it unpleasant, but I've been living and loving with it for, like, ever, and it's never given me trouble.

Yeah, another total tscheese overshare. It's Friday and I am totally sober. I have to have fun somehow.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:15:07 EDT

@bifteck-frites: yeah i had it at another restaurant a few months ago and it was quite delicious. didnt smell like cooter though.

@meaghan2k: you are out of control missy!

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

bigleggedwoman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:14:12 EDT

@Elisheva: It would probably be a roll-on.

bigleggedwoman

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:13:30 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): Well yes, depending on where she is in her cycle smell can vary. I just meant that each woman's cooter smells differently, and that "bad" smelling ones aren't necessarily due to medical issues or hygene problems. Just body chemistry.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

Rhody — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:13:11 EDT

@tscheese: "Don't hassle the box" is going to be my new mantra. Thank you, tscheese.

Rhody

Oldies But Goodies

bigleggedwoman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:13:09 EDT

@tscheese: that was a double-take for me... Dewey Decimal System!

Oh, sorry, no shouting in the library...

bigleggedwoman

Oldies But Goodies

meaghan2k — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:12:41 EDT

@ineffable.me: I like the pole and the hole.

meaghan2k

Oldies But Goodies

bifteck-frites — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:12:17 EDT

@ineffable.me: I think that's tom kha. I love the soup -- it tastes WAY better than it smells.

bifteck-frites

Oldies But Goodies

keldo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:11:39 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I need to ask...what does it taste like?

keldo

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:11:37 EDT

@meaghan2k: HOW YOU DOIN'

@tscheese: my mom took me to this thai restaurant once and i ordered this chicken/coconut soup and when it got to my table it smelled like cooter. it didnt smell like MY cooter, and there arent any other cooters i've smelled, but it was the only way I could describe that smell. I couldnt eat it and I didnt want to tell my mom that it was because it smelled like cooter. It was crazy.

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

brookidy — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:10:18 EDT

@BAngieB: Only from bad movies they are forced to star in with Tom Cruise. [en.wikipedia.org])

brookidy

Oldies But Goodies

haguenite — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:10:11 EDT

@Xavoc: Actually, the smell can vary with what time of the month it is. Not with everyone, and not every month, but it can definitely vary.

This reminds me of that part it Curtis Sittenfeld's Prep, where the protagonist finds out that the nasty boys have been putting the girls into cheese and fish groups.

haguenite

Oldies But Goodies

meaghan2k — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:09:13 EDT

@ineffable.me: I'll eat grapes out of anywhere you put them...anywhere.

meaghan2k

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:07:03 EDT

@Xavoc: My lesbian pal was just telling me this, and I totally believe her. I don't have a lot of experience with vadges that Are Not Mine.

The descriptions she gave me were kind of frightening, though. She was like, "sometimes it's a nice Morroccan lamb stew down there. Other times, less cumin but more Yankee Pot Roast."

I can't even say I was particularly disturbed by this.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

badmutha — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:06:59 EDT

I always thought dudes kind of had a funky bleach-like smell. And they do get must during the day, just like anyone else. But I am embarrased to admit that I don't even know what rainbows, sunshine, or pixie dust smell like, and it sure isn't what my vadge smells like.

badmutha

Oldies But Goodies

Calraigh — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:06:14 EDT

Why aren't there just ads for water?Like 'Wash!With water!It makes the smell go away!Magically Smellicious!'
If you smell in your downstairs cellar/Pharaoh's Tomb/Pandora's Box area there is something wrong with your vagina.Otherwise it doesn't smell.I do not need to be condescended to by SmithklineBeecham or whoever the fuck J and J are these days, by telling me in no uncertain terms, that whether I like it or not 'nature' works against me and I will always have a smelly vagina.
I WILL NOT HAVE A VAGINA THAT SMELLS!

Calraigh

Oldies But Goodies

blackbirdfly — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:05:32 EDT

I love it when products wear pearls. So klassy!

blackbirdfly

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:05:22 EDT

@keldo: There's a fabulous gay restaurant here in Denver that has a cocktail named "The Pearl Necklace." I get one every time I go, just because I love asking for a pearl necklace from the drag queen waitresses.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

bifteck-frites — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:56 EDT

@special_boots: I definitely have. That said, I do not condone "feminine deodorizing." Let it all hang out, bitches (but please shower regularly).

bifteck-frites

Oldies But Goodies

wolf biter — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:43 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Axe tastes vile, too.

Um. Not that I know from experience.

Stop looking at me!!

wolf biter

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:43 EDT

@meaghan2k: HUSSY!

ineffable.me

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zivah — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:43 EDT

@Xavoc: Ah. Hence the gym shorts in my vision.

zivah

Oldies But Goodies

jenny_dreadful — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:25 EDT

@SouthernSatine: Ha! I just Google image searched Bradford Pear, and yes, that is the jizz tree. I guess it's kind of appropriate for the pollen to smell that way, because isn't pollen basically tree ejaculate?

jenny_dreadful

Oldies But Goodies

meaghan2k — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:02:59 EDT

@keldo: Those are the only kind of necklaces I wear.

meaghan2k

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:02:45 EDT

@ExtensionOfBob: you ever see boys around a stack of freshbaked cupcakes? They're all up in that.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

SheLaughs — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:02:02 EDT

@keldo: If nature is working against you, shouldn't that be a warning sign you've got more than a little extra aroma causing you trouble in your nether regions?

I'm forgoing the pearls and getting my bedazzled.

SheLaughs

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:01:54 EDT

@BAngieB: they get it from teh rapes :(

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:53 EDT

@tscheese: Not all vaginas smell the same. Some smell much worse, or much better than others... And it has nothing to do with what time of the month. But, yeah, if it smells like cheese you need to go to the Dr.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

ExtensionOfBob — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:39 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: My vagina smells like vagina...and I've decided the smell of vagina is much better than the smell of anything like roses or sunshines b\c, really, do men and lezebels go through so much trouble to try to get up in some flowers?

ExtensionOfBob

Oldies But Goodies

keldo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:29 EDT

@tscheese: Yes, it bothers me that the last line of this ad says it makes you smell nice "even when nature is working against you". I never really thought of nature as the enemy before. Always thought natural WAS nice.

keldo

Oldies But Goodies

nycdj — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:21 EDT

As opposed to the embarrassing stench of semen? Why is it that a woman's natural secretions considered something to be covered-up yet a man's cum is something healthy/worthy of bragging rights?

nycdj

Oldies But Goodies

SheLaughs — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:20 EDT

And because the guys should never be left out:

[www.tarascomedycosmos.com]

SheLaughs

Oldies But Goodies

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:16 EDT

So is this a contraceptive, too?

Because if I can't have any moisture down there, and there's no KY handy, there will be no baby-making time.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:59:48 EDT

@tscheese: It smells like Vulva, that lovely German perfume.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:59:40 EDT

@SouthernSatine: OMG, THAT'S the name I was looking for. Someone told me the name of the tree once and I couldn't recall for the life of me.

That's the one, I think. And yes, it reeks.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

magiciannamedgob — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:59:17 EDT

"Naturally Feminine!" Making you an Unnatural Concept of The Patriarchy since The Dawn of Time! See the other products in our line, Footbinding Spray (so your hubby isn't grossed out when he unwinds your bandages) Underboob Spray (so you don't smell under your corset) and Overall Odor (which confuses you into getting barefoot and pregnant)Try them all today, the men will love you more!

magiciannamedgob

Oldies But Goodies

Xavoc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:58:50 EDT

@zivah: It's marketed for men under 'athlete's foot' spray.

Xavoc

Oldies But Goodies

KittenFluff — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:58:20 EDT

@ineffable.me: I am, too. I find Seth MacFarlane's voice (and, actually, him) very sexy. Even though I imagine he might be a jackass in real life. I went to Family Guy Live, where the cast did a live reading of an episode (they were promoting the show's return) and I was totally swooning.

KittenFluff

Oldies But Goodies

SouthernSatine says ROLL TIDE! — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:58:16 EDT

@jenny_dreadful: Is it a Bradford Pear? Is it sad that I know that? Those things smell like ass!

SouthernSatine says ROLL TIDE!

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:57:50 EDT

Can we seriously discuss the fact that vaginas smell like vaginas? I'm not going to say that mine smells like pixie dust and sunshine, but seriously, it's part of a human body! Now if it actually smelled, like, foul or offensive, I would know that I needed to get to the lady-doctor post haste. But it doesn't. It smells like a vagina. It doesn't need to smell like anything else. It is fine. It feels nice, and it does its job. Don't hassle the box.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

keldo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:56:39 EDT

@haguenite (back out of exile!): You beat me to it.

keldo

Oldies But Goodies

BAngieB — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:56:37 EDT

Do unicorns ever get that "no so fresh" feeling?

BAngieB

Oldies But Goodies

jenny_dreadful — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:56:16 EDT

@KittenFluff: OMG, yes. One time I made baked brie and it tasted just like come. I couldn't eat it.

There's also a tree near my house that blossoms that smell exactly like jizz. Little kids on their way to school walk by it and say, "this tree stinks!" I'm like, "Kids, you have no idea."

jenny_dreadful

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:55:49 EDT

@KittenFluff: I won't pretend that I am not head over heels in love with Brian.

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

winner — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:55:00 EDT

moooooiiiist pyaaaanties. gross.

winner

Oldies But Goodies

zivah — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:54:07 EDT

@ToniRockyhorror: I want a genitals-specific one. Maybe a dude about to go out, and then he pauses and goes and grabs a can of aerosol and sticks it in his pants. For some reason, I'm seeing gym shorts. And he sprays. And then a soothing voice comes over - "for when you're feeling 'not so fresh' down there."

zivah

Oldies But Goodies

keldo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:53:53 EDT

What's with the pearls? Is anyone else thinking pearl necklace?

keldo

Oldies But Goodies

KittenFluff — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:53:45 EDT

@ineffable.me: That was Brian's favorite commercial.

KittenFluff

Oldies But Goodies

CristinaS — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:53:23 EDT

@Sugarless: You are a genius of phrasing! I never thoughtof that.

CristinaS

Oldies But Goodies

meaghan2k — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:57 EDT

I'm moist like a snack cake, and this spray would totally ruin it.

meaghan2k

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:53 EDT

@Pinkosaurus is able to comment. Yay!: My vadge prefers tumbled turquoise in hammered pewter. It's violent.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:42 EDT

@special_boots: family guy.
that show is worth all its other lesser than special moments for that parody alone.

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

alloutofnice — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:19 EDT

bactericide???
sounds like a yeast-y waiting to happen

alloutofnice

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:16 EDT

@ToniRockyhorror: I've constantly told the 8 year old boy I watch never to wear Axe because it'll make him smell "like high school". it terrifies him.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

Popcorninmybra — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:12 EDT

Ah, yes. Brut Cock Wash.

Popcorninmybra

Oldies But Goodies

NefariousNewt — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:51:35 EDT

@Elisheva: You mean there isn't any such thing... then why have I... oh dear...

NefariousNewt

Oldies But Goodies

WhiskeyAGoGo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:51:12 EDT

@megnificent: You should copyright the "Oust for Vag" idea. I can just see it now, next to the "Febreeze for Fannies" and "Lysol for Labia".

WhiskeyAGoGo

Oldies But Goodies

sylvie calls shotgun!! — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:51:10 EDT

@blondegrlz: vadge flowers.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: maybe they can work on cupcakes and rainbows next.

sylvie calls shotgun!!

Oldies But Goodies

Pinkosaurus — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:56 EDT

My vadge is not so classy and prefers to wear gauche diamonds.

Pinkosaurus

Oldies But Goodies

NefariousNewt — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:51 EDT

@ineffable.me: That sounds like something from All in the Family. I remember Gloria was trying to have a discussion with Edith about something similiar.

NefariousNewt

Oldies But Goodies

ThisIsWhy... — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:34 EDT

@ineffable.me: Oh god! I just saw that Family Guy the other night. So funny.

ThisIsWhy...

Oldies But Goodies

ToniRockyhorror — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:26 EDT

@zivah: It's called Axe, but it usually has the opposite effect - ha!

ToniRockyhorror

Oldies But Goodies

cargirl86 — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:14 EDT

@nex0s: Don't ovens generally lock down when going through the self-cleaning mode?

......ohhhhhhhhh!

cargirl86

Oldies But Goodies

special_boots — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:49:57 EDT

@ineffable.me: Haha, what was that? I so recognize it!

special_boots

Oldies But Goodies

jenalicious — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:49:51 EDT

ahh that really looks like a hairspray can.

who would ever spray anything, let alone something aerosol, near their vaj??

jenalicious

Oldies But Goodies

zivah — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:49:30 EDT

@Elisheva: Dude, tons of 'em would love it. The ones who're always dousing their balls with talc anyway. But I would love to see a correspondingly cheesy ad for some male freshener.

zivah

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:49:12 EDT

@KittenFluff: Brie with a touch of cumin?

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

ToniRockyhorror — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:49:11 EDT

@nex0s: Amazing.

ToniRockyhorror

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:48:45 EDT

@Elisheva: Seriously, right? Their business doesn't always exactly smell like gardenias, yo. In fact, I'm thinking more along the lines of "slightly off submarine sandwiches."

Guys, if you smell like slightly-off submarine sandwiches down there, it's kind of not sexy, okay? All of your bits are surface-washable, so could you please pay more attention to them? Rub a dub.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

searched.and.seized — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:48:39 EDT

"just as soft and pleasant as Johnson & Johnson can make it"
just ... ew

searched.and.seized

Oldies But Goodies

AthertonMerriweather — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:48:38 EDT

My vaj is like Obama...rainbows, lollipops, hopes and dreams!

AthertonMerriweather

Oldies But Goodies

KittenFluff — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:48:30 EDT

@Elisheva: Thank you. What would they call it?

On a somewhat but not entirely unrelated note, does anyone else think semen smells like brie?

KittenFluff

Oldies But Goodies

haguenite — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:48:29 EDT

Keep your icky deodorants AWAY from my vadge, kthxbai!

I don't even put regular soap near it, so why would I spray it with shit?

Also, does Johnson and Johnson know what a pearl necklace is?

haguenite

Oldies But Goodies

Miss Pelled — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:47:33 EDT

If your vadge is the pearl, does that make your vulva the oyster?

Miss Pelled

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:47:30 EDT

@nex0s: but not your cache. important to remember.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

nex0s — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:46:43 EDT

My vadge is self cleaning - like my oven!!!

nex0s

Oldies But Goodies

ineffable.me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:46:37 EDT

- Mom, do you ever have a problem feeling fresh?
- What do you mean, sweetie?
- You know, do you ever have a problem with freshness?
- I'm not getting what you....I don't understand.
- Do you ever feel unfresh? Down there?
- Oh....OH!!!...Oh...Oh, God no. No!

ineffable.me

Oldies But Goodies

Elisheva — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:46:32 EDT

Once, just once, would I like to see something like dick deodorant. Let's see how men would like an aerosol can aimed at their bits.

Elisheva

Oldies But Goodies

KittenFluff — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:46:29 EDT

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: If you need deodorant for your vagina, what you really need is a trip to the gyno. The thing is self-cleaning and should not require perfume unless something's up. (I've said that a thousand times?)

KittenFluff

Oldies But Goodies

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:46:02 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Mine smells like moonbeams.

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

Oldies But Goodies

tscheese — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:57 EDT

My vagina smells pristine and dewey, like a petunia or a library cataloguing system.

tscheese

Oldies But Goodies

megnificent — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:53 EDT

Kills odor-causing bacteria? So this is Oust, but for vadges?

megnificent

Oldies But Goodies

BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz! — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:33 EDT

Naturally Femanine: Making your pussy smell like flowers since 1949.

BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz!

Oldies But Goodies

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:25 EDT

Oh, please. My vagina smells like cupcakes and rainbows.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Oldies But Goodies

CreoleSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:25 EDT

Cause no one wants to smell your stinky vagina.

*sigh* How can one thing be so sought after and so ostracized for being what it is?

CreoleSugar

Oldies But Goodies

special_boots — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:21 EDT

I don't understand vag deodorizer. I have never been able to smell another lady's vagina from afar, or even aclose.

So confoozed plz xplane.

special_boots

Oldies But Goodies

Rhody — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:11 EDT

Then you spray that shit down there, get a raging yeast infection, and the cycle starts anew.

Rhody

Oldies But Goodies

layladylan — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:45:05 EDT

Funny how the product is named "Naturally Feminine," when its purpose is to artificially conceal the real natural feminine scent.

layladylan

Oldies But Goodies

jenalicious — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:44:32 EDT

ahhhh the HORROR.

confident? connnnfident?? if you have that much of a problem that it hurts your confidence, you should probably see a doc. cause johnson and johnson can only do so much...

jenalicious

Oldies But Goodies

Jezebabe — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:44:05 EDT

"Nature is working against you"????? Aack!!!!!!

Jezebabe