<![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> The whole 'being excluded from social gatherings' is extremely rough. It's not something you can really complain about in any sort of official capacity, but when all the guys in the office are constantly going out drinking or for lunch while the only women in the office are left behind... it feels pretty shitty.

ダニー最高

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Geez this is a depressing thread, especially the frequent pointing to women in the workplace as the main bullies to other women. Kudos to anybody out there who is enduring it, you're stronger than me. In that kind of environment I would not be able to work, let alone eat, sleep, breathe or in any way function as a human being. Get out if you can and if not, be strong.

SydneyGal

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ElizaGray: Sounds like my old bosses. It's retarded, but at both PR companies I worked for, my direct supervisor was this awful Mean Girl who was promoted to this position without any management training. The bosses above them, however (who I also worked with directly, they just weren't technically my direct supervisors) were awesome and loved the shit out of me. I cried every single day I was in PR because if you weren't wearing The Right Clothes, living in The Right Area, or kissing ass, you were dead meat. When I left Company A, I was one of 25 people in a department of 40 to leave within six months. At Company B, I was one of 10 to leave within three months... in a department of 20. And they wondered why everyone left, yet all of those employees had direct interaction with The Bitches.

I won't even go into the bullying because it makes me tense up and go into panic mode, and frankly, I'm not okay with that, considering my current bosses are The Shit. I love them to pieces and they, me. AND I got a raise and a bonus and promotion within six months of being here... yet at Company A, when I'd been there over a year? I had to remind them of my annual review. When I left at 1 year, 4 months? Still hadn't happened.

Moral of the story: If you want to work in a place where the majority of people are nice and not spawns of Satan, don't work in PR. At least not in NYC.

hellodarling!

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Archetype: My Diet Coke could use a little rum. Come with me, bebe, we'll take a long lunch.

hellodarling!

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I work in an office in which bullying is a requirement for upper-management. All of these posts are filled by women, I might add. Treatment runs the gamut from eye-rolling by your managers when you ask a question, to being accosted and screamed at on the sidewalk during your lunch break by the Director of Human Resources (for asking for a raise) to mocking staff ideas in front of others.

All of this is topped off with gross incompetence by the senior managers. I have never worked in such a horrible environment!

TurtleFace

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> when she says "i never made the same mistake twice" is that considered a bad thing or a good thing?

my boss asks me a questions, walks away while i'm talking, then yells at me for not answering. when i tried to say that well, i answered but you walked away when i was talking he screamed "i'm the boss, you cater to me."

dashenbka

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @hannahwilde: Cheers!

tupance

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: My hat goes off to ya. I'm kind of in the same situation, with the vicious gossips, that is.

tupance

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @blondegrlz: Yess! Exactly... and my other boss always emails me and asks me to look up the most ridiculously simple things for him. Like it would literally take him 3x as long to send me the email explaining what he wants than it would to just do a google search on the term like I would anyway, click on the first link that pops up, and get the answer himself. Yuck. Much rather comment on Jezebel than google the circulation of a magazine.

sleepyhead

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I don't think I've ever worked for a place where I ~wasn't~ bullied. Yelling, name calling, tantruming, public humiliation. If I had a tape recorder secretly implanted on my body somewhere I'd be rich, biatch.

LahFawnDuh

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I just have to keep telling myself that the reason that my boss treats me like crap is because other people treat her like crap, and she's taking it out on me. It doesn't make her constant criticism and stunning lack of validation any more fun, but it does make me feel like I have a moral high ground. And that can be surprisingly sustaining when you need it to be.

vonnegurl

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> my first boss one day called me in to his office to review a draft of a report I'd written. it was a new field for me, and something I knew very little about. I'd asked him to read it over for me, and he said "hey, i'ts a draft, don't sweat it" or something to that effect. he then proceeded to (literally) yell at me for (literally) two hours, calling me illiterate, asking if english was my first language (ironically, I was the only one in the office for whom english actually WAS a first language), etc. can I mention that this was the day before thanksgiving? or that there were actually people working in my office who wouldn't speak to him or enter his office because he was so vicious?

(this man also suggested that, if our particular field didn't work out, I might make an excellent trophy wife. and that he had some friends he could introduce me to. creeeepy.)

PeachesDelux

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Sorry, I hadn't read to the end, where the big death match transpired.

cosmonaut-y

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'): I once shared a classroom with a teacher who bullied me every day (tearing my posters down, trying to rally kids against me, screaming at me in front of kids). The principal agreed that she was out of line, promised to talk to her, and never did. Eventually, his guilt over not keeping his promises to me translated into him trying to make it my fault. (E.g., "I know she called you a child abuser, but you, cosmo-naut-y, you...sometimes use vocabulary words she doesn't know."

I stayed for the sake of giving my students continuity through the school year. And yes, I still have nightmares.

cosmonaut-y

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @mockingbird:
@SleeplessNights:

For the record, you, mockingbird, jumped down my throat with your "Try not to judge people who've had to put up with this shit, OK?" comment. ;-)

As for the blaming the victim, that wasn't what I was doing at all. I am just shocked at a few aspects of this conversation: a) that bosses intimidate and sexually harass employees without consequence, b) that it's so commonplace, and c)our society is designed so that people feel like they have to put up with such abuse. I'd categorize that as sympathy and incredulity, not judgment.

But if you still feel like you are being blamed for something (for what, who knows?), well, that sounds like a personal problem....

That being said, I'm done with this conversation.

Toodles!
::mwah!::

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @DavidWatts: Love your handle. That is all.

bigleggedwoman

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I think the worst place I have worked at thus far was a charity that focused on women's and victim's rights. It was a small environment (18 staff members total) and the majority of the people that worked there were snotty girls in their mid-20's who felt the need to exclude and belittle everyone that wasn't in their special "clique." Don't ask me how this jives with wanting to work at a charity that helps victims of violent crime...it was the most bizarre, passive-aggressive bitchy environment I've ever been in for what was supposed to be a "great charity." I lasted all of 4 months before finding a better environment where people would not ignore my emails, glare at me, say they're going to email me a document and then act like I'm crazy when I ask them again for it later, etc.
I've heard other women's non-profits and charities are prone to having similar environments; so much for girl power. :-P I wasn't surprised when I saw at least 4 people resign while I was working there.

kantwait

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I've been lucky enough at my current jobs to not get bullied, but my dad was forced out of his job by his two superiors.

So in exchange for him not suing them for all the law breaking they had been doing, my dad got unemployment and health insurance for a year until he found a new job that paid 20 grand more. And the company is now sucking big time.

Occasionally karma can be a beautiful thing.

awesomesauce

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'): Hey, that's my name!! Smooches!

smooches

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: I hate those, too. Because it's "social," so they're not going to pay you, and yet you have to be there. Even if it's not mandatory, it might as well be, because if you don't have a great reason for not going (like say death), you'll be seen as anti-social, or stand-offish, or worst (in office terms) a bitch. I'm a wuss who takes lots of time to unwind after work, and an only child who *loves* her alone time, so I'm always happy to get home. Yet not joining in office play dates has bit my ass is the past, so I plan on sucking it up and making the effort if needed for future jobs.
@ClockOnTheStove: It does actually make you a stronger person, cliche though it is. I hated my time working as an agent's assistant, it was miserable hell. But now that I see kids who haven't been through that, who think everything will be handed to them and life will always be easy, I know I'd rather hire someone who's been tested and proven she can handle it, because that's someone who can handle a crisis without melting down. It sucks while it's going on, and you should try and stand up for yourself as much as possible. Oddly, it was doing that at my agency job that got me respect there, and caused the best assistant to deem me "worthy" of her time. She sounds bitchy, and she was, but the best kind and threw the best parties.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Oh, one other thing: I have decided that my new non-negotiable if I ever take an office job again is that under no circumstances will I work in a cube where I'm forced to have my back, and computer screen, facing the entrance. I think that setup is a kind of institutionalized bullying that brings out my absolute most immature impulses where work focus and attendance are concerned.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'):
"@mockingbird: Thanks for choosing to personalize my general statements. And for twisting my words. That's always fun. Smooches! "

That is how you're coming across, I'm afraid. Kiss kiss!

SleeplessNights

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I am surrounded by bullies at work. I take it because I'm new and I don't want to be known as the sensitive baby. Who knows--maybe in a year, there will be some new employees that I can belittle and bully to make up for the hardships I've endured. No. I'll be nice--because I'm always NICE! Why can't people understand that you can be nice AND efficient AND helpful AND whatever. Thank goodness for my peeps outside of work. AND THANK GOODNESS FOR JEZEBEL--YA'LL MAKE IT EASIER. For reals. Any time I feel down, I know I can hit up the Jezzies for a quick smile. THANK YOU!

ClockOnTheStove

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Another thing I consider bullying: "optional" workplace social events that really aren't. At my last normal job, I didn't care to go to the company Christmas party, and I heard about it for weeks. There were also occasional waffle breakfasts with the HR guy, about whom I often now think pityingly; he had no family and no wife and probably just wanted to get out of the house, but it was at six fucking AM, and I could barely stand to see those people at 8, never mind get up two hours early to be at a lousy Waffle House breakfast before work.

I used to fantasize about bringing that place down with one anonymous call to the AG's office. To Spitzer! Heh. That's who it would have been then. I was always very inspired by that Dilbert where Dogbert is being an ambush reporter. ::sobbing:: "How did you find me?!" "You were chosen at random..."

And I must admit that the reason I keep adjuncting in spite of the shitty pay and extreme job insecurity: I never see my boss. She's a bitch and kind of a bully, but I've seen her three times in the last year. That rocks as a job perk.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: More power to your husband! I love to hear those kinds of stories, because it is nice to know that karma does come around. It's just slow sometimes.

And I didn't have any shady practices to hold over my employers, well I did, but it would have been a pain to call them on their illegal BS. I got unemployment because I left for a disability leave. I was union, so they had to hold my job for three months. I took a 3.5 month leave, and taadaa! Job no longer held, I qualify for unemployment. My job should have gone to "Jane", the girl who was moved out of the department instead of me, she was promised the first available job. Instead, the Cow who bullied me wrangled it so a friend of hers got it, screwing over her BFF Jane. I felt bad for Jane, but it made me feel a little better that the Cow was truly evil, and it wasn't just me.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> The first hospital I worked at when I finished university had all these old nurses who were bitter and horrible but all friends with eachother, and therefore impossible to fire. So I got bullied for 6 months by my first supervisor, who had a reputation as a nasty bitch. I put up with it, with only a mild mental breakdown to show for it, then had an awesome 6 months on 2 other wards.
I got called into a meeting on my day off regarding my future employment after my post grad year, where 2 nurses from human resources belittled me and told me how they didn't think I should get a job there, but I had one anyway.
When I questioned them further they said that even though I had 2 glowing evaluations from the other 2 supervisors I had during the program (one of whom really wanted me to work on her ward), one of them was unsatisfactory. I said "let me guess? the bad one was from supervisor number 1?" at which they got a bit flustered and I said "yeh I thought so." and laughed.
It was so ridiculous. I got the feeling they only called the meeting because they took some perverse glee in making people cry. The meeting finished pretty abruptly after I laughed at them.
What was even weirder was when they finished the meeting they started making conversation with me, and asking what I was up to on my days off.

kimu

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> A few years ago, I worked in a small office (about 20 people total) with a very controlling IT guy. He once told me that if I ever had a computer problem, I needed to email him, and if my email didn't work I needed to call him. The dude rarely checked email and always let his phone go to voice mail. His office was less than 10 yards from mine.

So one day, after getting no response on email and getting voice mail on his phone, I went to his office to ask him to help me out. He lectured me on how I was not to approach him in his office. He refused to hear the question, though he did finally agree to look at my computer later in the day. But after that he never responded to my emails or voice mails again. I talked to my boss about it, who - while not the IT guy's boss - was much higher on the food chain. His response? "Oh, that's just how [weird IT dude] is sometimes. You don't wannna get on his bad side."

This IT dude had everyone in the office kowtowing to his ridiculous rules and because this was a state-run agency and he'd been there forever, he was never going to get fired despite his insolence and complete incompetence. Plus he used weird obscure programs that no other IT people in the larger state-run institution that goverened us understood, so they could never step in when he was on vacation. If our email went down, there was no choice but to wait until he got around to fixing it.

I left for a better job a couple of months after my incident with him in part because it was clear I would never get IT help again.

kansasgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> The only time I have ever walked off a job without at least two weeks notice was because the boss seriously thought that bullying was a valid management technique... this woman would yell and scream if you were late because SHE scheduled you during times you were at class even though you had specifically stated on your availability schedule months before when you could and could not work... she would keep is up to two hours or more after closing to do all sorts of random chores and cleaning tasks that very well could have been done earlier when things were slow but were not assigned because she was too lazy to come in... also she would not tolerate her employees dating and when two of them started to and she found out, boy howdy was there hell to pay... she also chucked a box of Pocky at my head once because I wasn't stocking shelves fast enough... in short, she was a miserable bitch, and for the pittance she was paying me I was a far better retail slave than she ever deserved... so when she fired one of my coworkers and then expected me to cover all of her shifts depsite the fact that it was finals week and I hadn't specifically requested time off to study (because well, duh, I should have totally anticipated her firing someone), well shit, I was so OUTTA THERE! One of the best days of my life!

I Shot the Sheriff

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @mockingbird: Oooh. They must have done something shady for you to be able to leave of your own accord and still get unemployment. My husband had that happen at a job where he found out the boss was taking his 401k contributions and spending them rather than depositing them. Long, stupid, story, but the boss was falsifying records blah blah and my husband found out, quit, and got unemployment even though he quit. That was my husband's lesson about standing up to bullies because that job was one that paid super well but the boss was a real asshole even before the fraud and stealing shit. He said that it felt amazing to be able to scream at his boss and sic the Attorney General/Feds on him. Vicarious schadenfreude-esque feelings of satisfaction for those of us who have worked for assholes.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: I hear ya. I was doing that in that job, and had decided that if I was right in my "they are laying me off" vibe that I was picking up, that I was fine with it. Then things went all to hell, and I could not get them to just lay me off! Literally, I was trying, because if I just quit I wouldn't have unemployment while I looked for something else. Also, part of it was refusing to let them know they could break me. I finally cracked and took the disability leave they were pushing on me as a ticket out of there. And worked it so I got unemployment, legally, afterwards.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'): You're twisting my words more than I did yours. You said "Why would you tolerate such abuse?" I said why I did it, and that I doubt I was the only one who put up with it for those reasons. I also added that though it sounded like you, and other commenters, were trying to blame the victims, that I doubted that was what you really meant. Did you miss that part in your rush to jump down my throat?

Oh, and death to smoochy, 'K?

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I worked for the biggest bitch years ago. She took so much delight in my smallest mistakes and made frequent racist/homophobic remarks because she knew it drove me crazy. Three months after I started our boss left and I was promoted right over that hag. My first act was to hire a very pierced, very delightful lesbian transsexual. The Hag lasted all of two weeks after that.

Now I run my own company and my idea of a team-building exercise is to take everyone down the pub. That's the old school British way.

hannahwilde

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @kentuckienne: You should have said, "What? I'm sorry, but I couldn't understand that. Could you repeat it, but more slowly? I don't know. Maybe it's your accent."

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @onthecornerofparkerandwoolf: I had the same thing happen, but for three weeks. Then the coworker in question called me into her office to berate me for "making fun of her accent." I had no idea what she was talking about. When another job came along, I frickin' leapt.

kentuckienne

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @mockingbird: I don't blame all the victims. But I do think you have to sit down at some point in a difficult work situation and decide what your job is worth to you and exactly how miserable you are. I have had a couple of situations where people tried to bully me or take advantage of me, and the fact was I just couldn't take it. It made me sooo miserable that I couldn't stand it even though it paid well. And I am too scrappy for my own good sometimes. So I immediately started sending out resumes and working every connection I could think of until I got the fuck out. Or in one case I just let shit roll off because I only needed six more months until I would be able to move on to something much, much better. But what a miserable six months! If I had it to do over again I am not sure I would stay for even six more months. Sometimes a job looks great on paper but totally sucks in real life. So then you need to decide between your sanity or your job. For me, the job goes. But my profession is also one where I can afford to be a little more cavalier.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @mockingbird: Thanks for choosing to personalize my general statements. And for twisting my words. That's always fun. Smooches!

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @blackbirdfly: I frequently hear about a partner at a close friend's law firm who is like that-- just batshit crazy. But apparently also incredibly brilliant and super good at her job, so people put up with it. What to do in that situation? Of course it's never okay to treat others like that, but it's hard when that person is also bringing beaucoup bucks into the business/firm and winning ginormous cases left and right. Higher-ups definitely tend to look the other way more often for people like that.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @bethjo: I was never an office bully, but I will admit to mirroring some of our office Mean Girl's tactics in my first job out of college. Another girl of my same rank, who started at the same time I did, got it in her head that I was the competition and therefore deserving of a lot of snotty passive-aggressive undermining. Lots of attempting to cut me off socially, lots of rudeness, lots of shit talking, rumor spreading, etc. Mostly she just tried to generate the feeling that she and the rest of the employees at our rank were a group, and I was definitively outside of it.

I thought this was ridiculous because we were all out of college and (ideally) too old for this nonsense. I was bewildered because I didn't see us as competition and hadn't been trying to compete with her. I tried to befriend her at first and give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it was one of those situations like "we'll get along better if we actually know each other." But she was insecure and bitchy and not having it. And I wasn't willing to generate a reputation as the office bitch just to get her back. So I killed her with fake/insincere kindness, busted ass purely to do better than her, got in well with management as a result, planted the seed that she was rude and/or dropping balls on accounts, got promoted ahead of her, and befriended her "crew" out from under her once they saw that half the shit she was saying wasn't true.

Most of this stuff wouldn't have been bitchy or bully-like on its own, but the reason I did a lot of it was wrong. I went from trying to succeed for the sake of success, to trying to succeed to bury her because she had rejected me. I let her get entirely too far into my head and it dragged me down with her.

I'm glad I learned these lessons before I went to law school, because "rising above it" is a skill you need in great quantities there.

Legalese

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @hilighter: Did you work in NYC for a boss with the initials of A.S.? That sounds suspiciously like the boss I worked for when I worked in currency trading. I worked there for about a month and witness him becoming enraged on an hourly basis over such inane things. I quit when I called in sick due to a kidney infection accompanied by a 104 degree fever - he said, "well you don't SOUND sick." What the frig is a kidney infection supposed to sound like?

On a semi-related note, my junior high social studies teacher was arrested today for stalking a student. The same junior high teacher who was complained about 15 years ago when I was in junior high for harassing girls, caressing their legs, buying them gifts, etc. Nothing was ever done - they switched the complaining girls to other teachers' classes, transferred him from one school to another, etc. It's good to see that they finally opened their eyes to the problem.

chatterboxwriting

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: Laughing out loud about the comment about coworkers hovering at your desk. It's not just about not wanting to get involved in their shit sometimes. It's also about *I have fucking work to get done and you are interrupting me* and I want to leave at 5:00 if at all possible and you may be getting in my way. But also having to listen to frequent venting from the kind of people who vent really often or take offense a lot is annoying. I will, however, listen to reasonable people if they are venting about something that a reasonable person would be ripshit about. But I still won't get involved.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @blackbirdfly: Ah! Well, on that point... can't disagree with you, and I'm in that group sometimes too. It probably also attracts more power-hungry types, which can correlate with bullying behavior. (Not so much in that group, although I do enjoy knowing how to get shit done.)

Legalese

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'): Try not to judge people who've had to put up with this shit, OK? I stayed because it was a damn good job and I needed it, and I tried to make it work. I'm sure I'm not the only one. And I did stand up for myself, tried to get my boss to give me feedback so I could fix any problem with what I was doing, and set boundaries as much as I could. People I dealt with outside my office would approach my boss at events and praise me and my work, so I knew I was kicking ass. Sometimes you still get screwed. The way you and some others commenting on this thread are talking, you sound like you're trying to put blame on the victims for taking it. I doubt that's what ya'll mean.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Ten years ago, I worked at a place where the president was an utter tyrant. He'd shut people into his office and scream at them for HOURS. In two languages. He drove one of the VPs to tears regularly. It was horrible. I had to do the paperwork for exiting employees, and the turnover rate was crazy. People rarely stayed more than a month or two. It traumatized my twenty-year-old self against work. I actually took a year off because of the nervous exhaustion.

The company failed. At least I have that.

girlleastlikelyto

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I used to work under a boss who was trying to make her department into her very own Mean Girl clique/sorority. Frequent and mandatory happy hours lasting late into the night at her favorite bars, constant gossip, and skipping too many of these social events got me exiled to the office Siberia when desks were switched around. Which would have been ok but it came with crappy assignments and frequent "talks" - sooo I left. But not before it made me totally depressed and my friends had to talk sense into me and explain that I didn't suck at my job, it was my job that sucked.

effeteaesthete

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @AuroraVox: wow. is she sure it isn't some kind of psych experiment? that is fucked.

luckily my boss and i get along really well, but she is the office bitch because she doesn't let people get away with not doing their jobs.

another supervisor at our org, though, said something about his underling being stupid in front of several other people, because the underling is dyslexic and doesn't do numbers well. too bad two of the other people were our president and her dyslexic husband. der.

violettefay

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I wish someone would admit to being a bully on here. I would like to hear her side of the story.

bethjo

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @bethjo: Gack! That's awful

Ms T. Pointy-Winkelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @ceejeemcbeegee (just debatin' not hatin'): I pretty much tell my boss to bring it on and ignore everyone else as much as possible. It's not like any of it is mean-spirited, these dudes just want to be friends. It's fuckin annoying.

Ms T. Pointy-Winkelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I had a crazy batshit paranoid boss who would hide your chair when you went to lunch, so that you'd have to come looking for it. That way, she'd know exactly how long you'd been gone.

She was eventually fired.

Gingerlime

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Every day, my boss would say "such and such is to such and such what the invention of panty hose was to finger fucking."

To be fair, I suspect he had some sort of dementia but it was hard to remember that when he said something pervy or abusive.

bethjo

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> my roommate's work environment is beyond insane. her office is run like a cross between a fraternity, a sports team and a kindergarten. if you are late, you have to stand in the corner and everybody points and you and laughs or says "oooeee, shame!" or some shit like that. and if you swear, you have to run laps around the office. i am not making this up. every time she finally gets fed up with the bullshit and decides to quit, they give her a raise.

OrianaVox

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @MsPointy: To which I woulda said, "Why don't we skip all that other bullshit and go right to the ass-whuppin?"

Sheesh! Imma pray for all yall with these stank-ass jobs.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: I'd get fired before I allowed myself to be bullied.

I mean really! Why in heavens name would you tolerate such abuse? I'd rather starve, take the bus, or live in a box than be humiliated is such a manner.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: One of my bosses is a radiation oncologist and he is just super to work for. However, there are other docs I know who should not be trusted to tie their own shoes. I hear surgeons are bad, but I have worked peripherally for one and he too was super. Respectful, chatty, shouldn't you be getting home because it's late? You know, crazy talk. But bullies are everywhere.

My first job out of grad school was for a bully who was "running" a small business because his partners were keeping him out of managing anything else. He called people into his office every day to scream at them and pound the table. He thought this was because he really cared about the business and they didn't, and he had a passionate nature, and of course they didn't.

The only upside to this story is that there was not one person in his acquaintance who thought he was the visionary he was sure he was, and that ate him alive.

noseriously

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: Ugh my desk is in a high traffic area, with lots of dudes who have no idea how to interact with women. Even, nay, especially when I have my eyes trained on my computer, which I moved so that I'd make less accidental eye contact, they feel the need to constantly bug me.
Exact quotes:
"Hey, your hair's in a ponytail today!"
"It's Katie, the farmer's daughter!" (sung)
"Hey, this bug matches your hair! Let me put it on you!"

Blergh.

Also, they put a skiball type basketball right next to me. It's like chinese water torture, but louder.

Ms T. Pointy-Winkelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @MsPointy: Dammit, too many Rs.

Ms T. Pointy-Winkelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I'd get fired before I allowed myself to be bullied, but:

1. Co-workers regularly invade my personal space to mightily inhale my lunch and I hate them.

2. Co-workers regularly ask if I've changed my hair (like 3-5 x per week and I've changed my hair maybe twice in 9 mos.) and I hate them. Especially when they also take the opportunity to peep my modest tits.

3. Co-workers regularly stand next to my desk and vent even though I've gone from "cool" to "cold" to downright rude (i.e. ignoring them, refusing to acknowledge their presence) in an effort to keep them from doing so. Even bluntly, lifelessly saying things like "I am not interested. I have no desire to listen to this. I do not want to get involved." don't help.

What in the bloody fuck is wrong with people?

Skinny Bone Jones

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> My boss: "Everyone else sexually harrasses you, but I'm just plain going to harrass you. One of these days I'm going to kick your ass."

My job is great.

Ms T. Pointy-Winkelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Neon.Wonder: I work in the oil and gas industry too, which company are you with?

SammyKitty

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I was bullied by a former boss. He said awful, belittling things to me, and essentially micro-managed me out of a job. He once lit into me about asking to leave on-time because I wanted to take a class after work. I finally quit because just being in his presence made me nauseous.

ElizaGray

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: Yeah, I've never in my life had a problem standing up for myself. In fact, I think I'm usually the one described as intimidating, so maybe that's why this hasn't come up before. But when I think about standing up to this beeyartch, all I can picture is her head spinning around like in the Exorcist right before she chokes me to death with her cold bare hands.

I tend to get a little dramatic sometimes.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Ms. Pants:
That is so awesome.
I can not wait to quit my job. My boss is contantly harassing me for things that are so trivial, yet does not give any recognition for the work I do. He harasses me about what I wear etc, and doesn't even mention how awesome I do my job. It makes me crazy. He also thinks I am going to work here for my whole life and always makes comments like 'In three years we are going to promote you to this job' and always talks about my future career in oil and gas... etc etc.

Little does he know I am going back to school in the fall (only 6 months away) in another city, for something completely unrelated. I can't wait to see the look on his face!



Neon.Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Legalese: Well, I didn't say all lawyers were assholes. I am one, by the way. But I think it is the type of job that attracts people who think they know more than everyone else and therefore act like jerks. I am one of those people sometimes.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> My dad and my friend both sent me the NY Times article yesterday with the comment, "Sound familiar?" I had a bullying office so bad it actually sent me into a nervous breakdown and a disability leave. I've just recently been able to stop thinking it was all my fault (screw you crap therapist who did nothing but make it worse), and recognized lots of stuff from the list as things that went on in my office. Biggest problem for me there? My supervisor saw it going on, watched the worst Mean Girl gun for me and piss all over my area of responsibilities, and did nothing but expect me to work it out with her. Taught her she could get away with it, and that I was fair game, and it just got worse and worse. My boss was one of those "don't rock the boat, especially if you're in it" types, and ended up trying to follow through on plans to have me transferred (against my will) even after he and his supervisors had all been told it was against every rule to do so.

As for being left out of office functions not being bullying, hell yes it is. I put in long hours at work and didn't really want to spend downtime with my co-workers, but it's a clear sign they're shunning you when you are the only person in the department not invited to someone's party, and they're all talking about it. The asskisser buying coffee for every assistant in our section but me, every day, I could laugh off. Doesn't mean I wasn't hurt, or that I was clueless on what he meant by it.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @blackbirdfly: Hey! We're not all assholes. Some of us just like having an intellectually challenging job that doesn't pay peanuts. (Or, we majored in English/philosophy/etc and that gets you bupkis jobwise on its own.)

I will concede, however, that the lawyers who ARE assholes are probably worse than garden-variety assholes because lawyers are usually good at arguing and know how to do a lot of serious shit.

Legalese

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> My boss at my last job was a passive-aggressive, psychotic bully. After weeks of my parents begging me to quit, that they'd support me until I found another job, just so that I wouldn't be so miserable, I finally took them up on the offer.

Best part? I was in HR so I did all my own termination paperwork after she'd gone home on Friday, termed myself in the system, cleaned out my office, and slipped it under her door for her to find on Monday.

Ms. Pants

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @Archetype: Boo! Drinks all around. Your ideas are great and they're all idiots. Or whatever is the appropriate comment at this time!

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: I agree- you have to set boundaries with bullies, the very first time they cross the line. I didn't with my boss-from-hell, and while she was still pretty bad to my co-worker who had told her off the first time she bullied him, she was far worse towards me. I think part of that dynamic had to do with her generally treating men differently than the other women she worked with, but part of it was my own lack of confidence to call her out. A good lesson learned, I think, and luckily it came pretty early in my career. Still? Confrontation has never been this WASP-y gal's strength.

lacey in ak

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @esmemurphy: Well, the practice of law does seem to attract its fair share of assholes.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> The workplace is basically just like high school. I'm a lot better at "high school" now. Most of the workplace bullies I have encountered have lacked intelligence, or else have some other tragic flaw, and that has made them easier to deal with for me.

bratkeeper1729

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @SarahBoBara: So excited! JAM at Michael's for dinner!

The HZA

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @blackbirdfly: I should amend my comment above to say that I truly feel for attorneys and medical residents with bully-bosses, coworkers, or superiors. I have heard from close friends and family members who are lawyers or drs. that those professions have lots of super hard as nails bitch/asshole bullies. Yikes.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Someone = Somewhat

:-(

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Someone off-topic. But I just got out of a pitch to my CEO and it SUCKED. I'm totally deflated. And I need many drinks.

Archetype

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I am Jack's thankfullness she doesn't work a "job".

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I actually had a boss like this - AT SUNY New Paltz.

Babyhands

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I once temped as an assistant to a big-wig female exec. Her normal asst. was going out for surgery and told me she was a bully. Turned out her asst. was incompetent. And the one or two times the exec. gave me a hard time I just turned around and did my job as professionally yet frostily as possible and didn't kiss ass. It seemed to get the point across and she didn't bully me again. Point: you have to set professional boundaries for yourself and most bullies stop bullying once you make it clear you won't take it. I have even confronted people and told them that their tone and language were uncivil and that I didn't like it. Standing up for yourself often works, at least in my experience. Also being friends with coworkers is often a clusterfuck anyway. I see you people all fucking day long, for chrissakes.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> After years of being told that I was a worthless idiot and to never do a trade on behalf of my boss, his largest client called and wanted to trade some bonds...he was on the phone at the time, so I picked up the phone to find out what the exact trade was, conveyed the information to him, and he proceeded to STAND UP on the trading desk (in front of oh, 150 or so people), mute his phone, and scream "Do the FUCKING trade." Alas, thick skin does not protect from that....I still have nightmares about him, and I quit that place 8 years ago.

hilighter

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I consider rampant workplace gossip? I think that is a pretty common form of bullying. "Oh, Mike liked her report, she must be blowing him" blah blah blah..

TheUptightMidwesterner

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @rednrowdy: Ugh, I'm on the board of directors of a professional organization with one of those ladies. Drives me up the wall because she used to be an INTERN at my agency, and now she's such hot shit. One day she's totally nice, then next she's whispering all catty-like in a meeting. You'd think I'd be over shit like this, but she makes me feel 2 inches tall.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> yes, the passive-agressive bullies who think they are still in high school and act like 'mean girls' are the worst kind of bullies to have in a professional environment.

rednrowdy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Stars & Dykes Forever!: Yeah....speaking of which, how are you doing on those TPS reports?

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> ::sigh:: Brings back memories of my worst-ever boss. Work-hoarding, micromanaging, bullying, unprofessional, childish, boss. I was so sad, because she was my first lady boss, and men I worked for before her were great. But now I have a fantastic woman boss. Totally redemptive.

I'd like to say that the crazy boss made me stronger, but I'm not sure. It may have made me a better boss, though.

lacey in ak

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @sleepyhead: My boss's WIFE does that to me. She suggest stuff that we the company should do, but I'm the only actual employee so she means "You, Blondegrlz, do this ridiculous pointless mindless timeconsuming task!"

Why can't my job just understand that commenting on Jezebel is way more important doing their stupid filing??

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Oh my Gawd, y'all, I have a coworker who intimidates me to no end. I have never been in this situation before. I have never, ever had a problem with "intimidating" people before. I usually do quite well with them, actually. But there is another attorney in my office (a lead, I'm a second chair) who terrifies me and makes me feel like the biggest dumbass in the history of the world. I really kind of hate her. And I get nervous when I'm supposed to do something for her, which makes it more likely I'll fuck it up and she will think I'm even more worthless. It really fucking sucks.

My only consolation is that she does it to other people too. Not just me. Ugh.

I imagine one day I'll snap and it will be ugly.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I hate it when I get guy-in-next-cubicle-cooties. Then I have to spray my invisible anti-cootie spray all over my desk.

nellicat

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I work with a woman who will just flat out ignore you with the silent treatment if she decides she doesn't like you personally. I've seen her standing at the elevators and just completely ignoring VPs and other superiors who are making small talk about the weather. She'll just stare straight forward and pretend no one else is there. Or you'll see her in the halls and say "Hey" and she'll just sort of sneer at you and keep walking. It's very odd.

EdnasEdibles

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I worked with a woman who was downright crazy, and our boss was the worst kind of wimp. The combination just killed what would normally be an okay work environment and made it an episode of Survivor everyday. I transferred out but I felt so bad for some of my sweet coworkers who could afford to get out.

Pinkosaurus

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> @DavidWatts: That's why I got an Indian burn for not filing my TPS reports.

JessicaLovejoy: Wanton Trollop

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Ugh, I work with somebody who is just a jerky lady. She gets in moods where she just doesn't feel like dealing with work, and so if you try to get something done, she gets all snappy. And if you don't know her secret industry lingo, she treats you like a fucking idiot.

I've had numerous people come to me and say, "Why does Bitchy get so mean when I don't know about paper stock?" But she does it to everybody and most people know it, so we just ignore.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> NEWS FLASH: NOT ALL NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR LEFT IN CHILDHOOD

DavidWatts

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> All these scream: grow some thicker skin! but then again, my mortal fear is crying at work and my boss is the ice queen to end all ice queens...sigh....

Moley

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> My boss actually does things like hold grudges, yells, flicks you off, etc etc. I'm pretty sure it's considered a hostile work environment.

CorporateTool

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> the office - new episode NEXT WEEK babes!

SarahBoBara

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> I evil glare back. I didn't think it was bullying though as much as a sign of mutual contempt.

dummyfakeroller

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> my supervisor continuously sends emails saying "let's do this" or "we should do that"... but what she really means is YOU do this and YOU do that, and I will be riding your ass in a passive-aggressive high-school-girl-catty kind of way until you do.

sleepyhead

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> i had a coworker give me the silent treatment for over 2 weeks. my crime? snapping at him for pestering me about a project. the best part? he's in his 60's.

onthecornerofparkerandwoolf

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> All of the behaviors listed above seem like what you might expect in most corporate environments. Unless the bullying affected by ability to perform or advance, I don't think I'd sweat the evil glares. It sucks sometimes, which is why they call it "work".

brookidy

]]> <![CDATA[Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom]]> Being excluded from work-related social gatherings is a negative? Jesus, sign me up.

Hamsterpants

]]>