- Jezebel Comments

cde — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:14:37 EDT

@LadyNo: Wow. That commercial's disturbing.

noloversaurus — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:51:13 EDT

@Archetype: I used to live across from a park with them. Most pungent during dawn and dusk. Fittingly, it was also the local gay beat.

noloversaurus

fangatang — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:29:15 EDT

The tree, at least around here, is the Bradford Pear, more commonly known as the "Jizz Tree." Yech.

fangatang

twelve12 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:36:43 EDT

@hamburgerhotdog: Whut, no love for NYC half-sours??? I got a whole bunch vacuum-sealed at Katz's and shlepped 'em back to Cali in my carryon!

twelve12

Tiny-Moves — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:21:09 EDT

@LadyNo: Yeah! Thanks for sharing, this is hilarious! Me and the man just stared at each other, raised eyebrows, before burstin out laughing. Love morning, uh, pickles.

Tiny-Moves

purplejesus — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:18:34 EDT

The sex trees were callery pears I bectha.

purplejesus

FourInchHeels — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:07:51 EDT

@Xavoc: I live with three men and I beg to differ. They talk about different things than my girlfriends and I do, but my roommates definitely spend an unhealthy amount of time talking about the womenfolk. I think in some ways they're a lot more harsh than the ladies and I are - we generally talk about a hot guy's positives ... but the roommates will say "she's really hot but" and then list all her minute flaws before going back to talk about how bangin she was.

FourInchHeels

sabbaticalplease — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:51:48 EDT

@sabbaticalplease: clicked to the wrong person oopsies.

sabbaticalplease

sabbaticalplease — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:50:49 EDT

@myrtlebeachbum: My best friend in HS's mom (awkward!) told us that semen tastes like bleach and buttermilk. Never will forget.

sabbaticalplease

FourInchHeels — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:35:35 EDT

@NefariousNewt: It was much more traumatizing as a 13yr old than it is now. The story boils down her explaining how she slathered peanut butter on her husband's peen and licked it off.
Today it sounds like a fun evening, but at 13 it was horrifying. Teachers didn't have lives, much less sex lives! And also, we were suspiciously prude and had just started making out with people .. so the thought of pantless boys was scary enough without introducing food to the mix.

FourInchHeels

Xavoc — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:34:27 EDT

@FourInchHeels: Women talk about sex and men in far greater detail and candor than men ever talk about women. The availability of smut books for women also proves this. A lot of the writing in those books is simply tragic.

Xavoc

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:25:17 EDT

@FourInchHeels: Going to share or leave us hanging?

NefariousNewt

FourInchHeels — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:10:10 EDT

@ChiefNInjaMonkey: Only today? C'mon, admit it - we're a big buncha pervs. You must be new to the area if you're just now figuring this out ;)

FourInchHeels

FourInchHeels — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:07:08 EDT

@tscheese: You know, my middle school science teacher had a peanut butter story that she told us about once ... no 7th grader ever looked at her the same after that fateful day. I'm still scarred.

FourInchHeels

ChiefNInjaMonkey — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:06:11 EDT

As a male reader of Jez, I am learning SO much today about women. LOL.

ChiefNInjaMonkey

ChiefNInjaMonkey — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:56:27 EDT

As a male reader of Jez, I am learning SO much today. Wow.

ChiefNInjaMonkey

langtry — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:54:47 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Holla, Holla, Holla!

@tscheese: Thanks!

langtry

Xavoc — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:50:29 EDT

@clonie: Spring indeed.

I still think it smells like dishwasher detergent.

Xavoc

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:48:45 EDT

Also, totes unrelated, but take pickle juice and freeze it. Plain dill juice, from the shelf-stable kind--the Claussen fresh pickles are great, but the brine is totes too cucumbery.

Next put that shizz in an ice cube tray.

Freeze until needed. When is it needed? Your next killer hangover. Keep sparkling water on hand for this. When you are hungover as fuck, pour the sparkling water over the pickle-ice. It will perk you right the hell up.

tscheese

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:42:10 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington, Worsties Guild President: Actually, no pickles today, only carbonated beverages. But pickle juice is pretty good stuff -- well the sweet kind (bread and butter or gherkins).

NefariousNewt

aubonpam — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:29:57 EDT

@Archetype: Holy crap, this is the first time I've heard anyone else mention this. I thought I was the only one who noticed those trees. I call them "Dirty Vagina Trees."

aubonpam

AthertonMerriweather — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:28:52 EDT

@Archetype: I know! They're hilarious! Slut Machine knows what she's doing with the makeup too. She needs to start giving tutorials on eyeliner and foundation application.

AthertonMerriweather

Lady Skittlehattington — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:25:25 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington, Worsties Guild President: It had to be pickle juice. I just know it.

Lady Skittlehattington

beastybeatsy — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:23:09 EDT

@Archetype: Like a moth to a sperm flame?

beastybeatsy

dripdrop — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:22:42 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.:

This needs to be the best comment of the day.

dripdrop

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:22:19 EDT

@wigglepuppy: That's actually the best description I've read yet. Add a pinch of cumin and you have it.

tscheese

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:21:37 EDT

@AthertonMerriweather: I just have to say, even though it's off-topic, that I watched my very first Pot Psychology last Friday. I was so taken with it that I watched all of the back-posts. I usually never watch it because I am at work. So fucking hilarious.

Archetype

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:20:08 EDT

@AbbyNormal: ooh. good point. kinky to scary in .2 seconds flat.

@funnyface: i eat peanut butter and pretzel sandwiches, among other peanut butter creations. i must try this pbpickles thing though...

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

TrixieBelden — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:18:08 EDT

@Archetype: @wigglepuppy: I used to live in a place with trees like that. Not Pear or Dogwood, but this distinct chlorine/ bleach smell. Even after four years I'd walk up to my front door and think 'who built a swimming pool or had a ton of sex on my stoop in my absence?' Our visitors all had colorful comments to make as well.

TrixieBelden

funnyface — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:16:19 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I'm a weirdo who likes both pickles and crunchy peanut butter, at the same time. A spoon full of peanut butter, and a bite of pickle=teh yumminess.

funnyface

AbbyNormal — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:15:56 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I hope he isn't allergic to peanuts.

AbbyNormal

Chuck Barris says ROLL TIDE! — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:15:37 EDT

This ad is running in the magazine I process ads for this month. I'm interested to see how many blue-haired ladies complain to our EIC.

Chuck Barris says ROLL TIDE!

AbbyNormal — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:14:18 EDT

@Archetype: Well, flacid pickles are just spears waiting to happen.

AbbyNormal

clonie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:13:05 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: If penises tasted like pickles, my boyfriend would never get another bj in his life.

@Archetype: In my town, all the youngins refer to them as "cum trees" or "cum bushes." It's the first sign of spring!

clonie

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:12:58 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: He would probably think, "I hope it's smooth and not chunky. Chunky hurt last time."

tscheese

AthertonMerriweather — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:12:28 EDT

@CindiAnnabelleTucker: There's always Pot Psychology!

AthertonMerriweather

NewsBunny — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:12:07 EDT

My youngest sister can sit down with a jar of pickles and eat them like potato chips.

I'm talking like a big-ass, who's yer Daddy Costco sized jar of pickles.

NewsBunny

AthertonMerriweather — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:11:37 EDT

@Archetype: Yeah, guys are clueless and don't think of that. They just try anyway.

AthertonMerriweather

mercymercyme — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:11:15 EDT

@peliroja: Ooh. But that discounts the crucially delicious sourness, particularly of the deli-style dills.

mercymercyme

wigglepuppy — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:11:09 EDT

@Archetype: ugh, yes! we call them 'cum trees'. i remember that i thought they smelled really weird even as a child. it's totally that combo of buttermilk with just a drop of clorox. so weird.

and who would choose a limp soggy pickle over a big stiff claussen?!? i could eat a whole jar!

wigglepuppy

BowlingForDollars — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:10:54 EDT

@AthertonMerriweather: I sure miss me some Tionna Smalls.

BowlingForDollars

TheFormerJuneBronson — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:10:21 EDT

I just brought home a jar! Claussens are the best. I have not managed to convert many people around me because they're more expensive. But they're worth every penny.

I love dills and always have. One of my son's first real foods was a Claussen mini dill, and he sucked on that thing like nobody's business. We gave it to him just to see whether I was weird. If I am, it's apparently genetic.

TheFormerJuneBronson

BrooklynBeats — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:10:06 EDT

My coworker and I have a weekly "pickle appreciation moment" where we both profess our love for them during lunchtime. I've been known to steal an extra one or two from the tray that they keep on the counter at the local deli. We're planning on taking a lunch-time field trip to Guss' Pickles soon.

Pickles.

BrooklynBeats

NewsBunny — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:09:55 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I nominate this for Quote of the DAy!

NewsBunny

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:09:39 EDT

@NefariousNewt: The ballpark pickles. So Dill, I guess? I like my pickles with girth.

@tscheese: I'm a peanut butter junky. I wonder what a dude would think if I pulled out a jar before I went down...

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:09:30 EDT

@AbbyNormal: But what about flaccid pickles?

Archetype

beeble — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:08:35 EDT

That's GENIUS!!!

I want me some pickle ... nom, nom, nom...

beeble

Lady Skittlehattington — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:07:06 EDT

@NefariousNewt: What did you spill on it?

Lady Skittlehattington

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:06:46 EDT

@rocknrollunicorn: I wish they actually DID taste like celery. That would be kind of neutral and okay to me. And they'd go better with peanut butter. But everything goes better with peanut butter.

tscheese

AbbyNormal — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:05:13 EDT

Bent pickles need love, too.

AbbyNormal

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:05:06 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington, Worsties Guild President: I am not -- it was genuinely funny. And my employer is going to wonder at the shoddy condition of my keypboard.

NefariousNewt

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:05:01 EDT

@AthertonMerriweather: You had to go there, right?

I'll take fingers and/or a tongue over either, thanks!

Archetype

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:04:19 EDT

@tscheese: @funnyface: Very glad I am not the only one.....

Archetype

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:04:10 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Dill or sweet? Or both?

NefariousNewt

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:03:33 EDT

I know what everyone is thinking... but given yesterday was Easter, it looks like some perverse rabbit ears.

NefariousNewt

Lady Skittlehattington — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:03:22 EDT

@NefariousNewt: Oh, you're just sucking up now.

Take it as a dirty pickle pun if you want to.

Lady Skittlehattington

MilointheMeadow — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:03:00 EDT

huh. subtle.

MilointheMeadow

TakeBackWhatYouSaidAboutThor — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:02:56 EDT

Oh forget it, soft, stiff, crunchy, sweet, sour -- i love all pickles. When I am out to eat w/ someone who I can see is not going to eat their pickle, I actually debate in my head whether I know them well enough to ask if I can have it.

TakeBackWhatYouSaidAboutThor

AthertonMerriweather — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:02:34 EDT

Is getting fucked with a droopy pickle worse than getting fucked with a bubblegum dick?

AthertonMerriweather

treecut...Grim Reaper of the forest — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:01:54 EDT

@Archetype: Hmm, I know a lot of trees, but they didn't teach us about that one in forestry school.

treecut...Grim Reaper of the forest

funnyface — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:01:33 EDT

@Archetype: I believe it's a type of pear tree. We called them "stinky sex trees" on my college campus.

And Claussen pickles are the BEST.

funnyface

NefariousNewt — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:00:51 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington, Worsties Guild President: No fair!! Another keyboard wasted...

NefariousNewt

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:59:59 EDT

@Archetype: Dude! It's like some kinda dogwood, I think. I know what you're talking about. It has white blossoms and is stanky in spring.

tscheese

tscheese — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:59:20 EDT

@Archetype: Bread and butter pickles are TOTALLY vom-inducing. They're so gross.

Unrelated: I love all kinds of pickled tomatoes. Green ones are great, but this little farmers' market by where I live? They have these huge jars of RED pickled tomatoes. They are insanely delicious.

tscheese

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:59:00 EDT

There is a tree that gives off the scent of penis/semen. Anyone else run into this tree?

Archetype

lurkystars — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:58:46 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I too agree with this statement, and I think we have a contender for best comment of the day as well.

lurkystars

TwoScoops — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:58:32 EDT

Love pickles, at least the sour ones. Don't like sweet except in relish on ballpark dogs.

My husband loves pickles too...what does that mean?

TwoScoops

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:58:25 EDT

Anybody see the Burger King commercial about "morning tongue?" It's pretty suggestive, my husband and I were cracking up in disbelief when we saw it last night.

://www.sogoodblog.com/2008/03/23/burger-king-morning-tongue/

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

Lady Skittlehattington — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:58:08 EDT

And then the right pickle said, "It's not you. I'm just tired. And I think I drank too much. Let me just lie here for a while, and I should be better. Look, Die Hard is on HBO!"

Lady Skittlehattington

warmaiden — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:56:17 EDT

Mmm, pickles.

warmaiden

rocknrollunicorn — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:55:23 EDT

@peliroja: I'm going to have to disagree. I hate celery, and while dicks are no pickles, they ain't that bad.

rocknrollunicorn

Archetype — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:55:11 EDT

@a.clever.otter: I have a seriously strange addiction to cucumbers.

I only like dill pickles. Sweet pickles make me want to hurl.

Archetype

Snowbunny — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:54:18 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I hate pickles. I also am so so about dicks. If pickles tasted like dicks I would become a lezebel.

Snowbunny

hamburgerhotdog — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:54:09 EDT

Claussen pickles are awesome. Fuck all these half sour nasty NYC pickles.

Also: pickle juice is good for sunburn.

hamburgerhotdog

myrtlebeachbum — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:53:45 EDT

@lalaland13: Pickles will settle for nothing less than a stiff pickle in her tuna. Because she's worth it.

myrtlebeachbum

peliroja — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:53:31 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Once a friend and I narrowed the penis taste down to celery topped with salt.

peliroja

stacyinbean — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:52:57 EDT