You have a normal, pretty, girl.
She is learning and integrating herself with society, and really for the first time becoming happy acting like a male. Now, some people need religion, some need science, and others need the opposite of what they have. In this case it troubled me that the title really read: "Man becomes pregnant".

I beg to differ, this is simply a female having a child, and the female happens to have, not a dissorder, but a chemical imbalence that she manifested from her mind into physical realy. But, while not being able to rid herself of her gender she still had to option of having a child.

We are being critical hum-bugs to say, "are they going to tell the little girl her momma still loves her but her dad gave birth to her".

Breast feeding possibilities have been eliminated, as with all other normalities. I hope the next months are not filled with negativity towards this event. I do not agree with the circumstances, but why doesn't the world spend their time on something substantial such as why the entire just got feet of snow and it is un-ushualy warm during periods (waves) of the summer.

There is a lot going on in this world and millions of people are excited/ angry over something like this. PLEASE PEOPLE!!! The media uses stuff like this to distract the public from REALITY.... THERE IS A PRESIDENTIAL RACE GOING ON AND TENS OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ADDICTED TO METH. WAKE UP AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT THIS B.S !

Seriously, this GIRL can have a baby or not and the most it will ever do is make some people angry and critical of another way that they do not understand.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT, LIKES REPEL

POSITIVE NEGATIVE

BLACK WHITE

YIN YANG

QI

EXPAND YOUR MIND

uplifturself

@inchworm: For ftm people, the ovaries have to be removed eventually. The testosterone shots will inevitably cause ovarian cancer, otherwise. My brother is currently recovering from preliminary surgery (to delcare his ovaries, um, diseased) so he can get them out with insurance.

Her Grace: Awesomesauce.

LilahCello

LilahCello

cate3710

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

meeroom

StrangeNurse

cate3710

MiseAmiee

MiseAmiee

meeroom

BTW, I support Thomas and think it's lovely that he and his wife can experience pregnancy.

Lastly, RE: pregnancy and power. It *is* our unique power as women to create life, and one that is too often downplayed and minimized. However, it's not our *only* power. The two forms don't have to oppose each other.

eastofwest

onefishtwofish

onefishtwofish

sunflowerseeds

also, re: the nytimes article, although i think that people who transition in college should most def be supported and accommodated, Rey knew he was a man, and was already transitioning before he applied to Barnard, and honestly i don't think he should have applied to a women's college. I really believe that there's a value of separate spaces for women, (and i use that term as inclusive as anyone who identifies as/is living as a woman.) but i think part of respecting trans folks is saying, ok, you are a transman now, and one of the things you've given up is getting to be a woman.

luchita

Mmmmm, hot butchies. WANT.

MiseAmiee

BrooklynBeats

Ectopic pregnancies happen when fertilization goes well, but the fertilized egg implants in the wrong place... It's more of a physical problem than a chemical one.

If your reproductive-parts are scarred from something like an STD, it can increase the odds of having an ectopic pregnancy. There are chemical differences between ectopic and normal pregnancies, but those are caused BY the fact that things aren't quite right, so I doubt that T levels had anything to do with it. If he was able to ovulate/menstruate within 4 mos of stopping hormone therapy, his bits were probably in pretty good shape... It's comparable to going off hormonal birth control birth control (which in lots of cases, can take way longer).

Miss. Money-Sterling

PantyWaist

eleanorstrousers

All children need people--parents ideally, but also aunts, uncles, grandparents, mentors, etc.--who love them unconditionally, who listen to them, who will give of their time and hearts to ensure they are nurtured and protected. I don't think it really matters whether those people are straight, gay, trans or whatever. If Thomas and his partner are ready to make that commitment, then more power to them.

TheJerseyDevil

hellodarling!

littlemisschatterbox

RocktheDebit

I guess, however much I respect the gender identities of transmen, I still think they are fundamentally different from bio-men because they suffer the effects of the patriarchy and male privilege as much as biological women do and can benefit just as much from a safe space.

fetishizedarmadlilo

I feel like there is a difference between people fighting against the gender roles imposed upon them by society, and people changing the actual biology of the body they were born with. Up until pretty recently in history, you were pretty much stuck with the genetic hand that you were dealt, and I'd be lying if I said that it seemed completely normal and natural for people to pick and choose what biological gender they wanted to be - furthermore to choose what aspects of that biological gender they wanted to be able to use. "I want to be a man, but I want to have a baby!"

I do agree that it's wonderful and miraculous that the couple is able to conceive (modern science is really amazing), and I hope that they will be wonderful parents, but again I'd be lying if I pretended that this all seemed very normal and great to me. It's a little weird.

sinnicism

I can only assume that this man's desire was not to have a baby and be pregnant, but to have a child with their biological material, which is an impulse that both men and women certainly have. His equipment to make this happen just so happened to be female--why should the anatomical specifics of that automatically overshadow the from the basic human impulse to have a baby with pieces and parts like mine?

dearcoquette

eleanorstrousers

FatBottomedGirl

interocitor

While you get points for using the right pronoun, at least, you state unequivocally that pregnancy is a "gift and burden" of being a woman. Yet this human being exists whether or not you accept it. There's a somewhat possessive tone in your phrasing, from the gift/burden statement to the "have cake and eat it, too" statement.

Plus, whether or not you realize it, you're sort of doing that classic bait-and-switch thing, where you make some outrageous claim meant to distract me from the real issue at hand by defending myself against them (your claims) instead.

Skinny Bone Jones

clevernamehere

The painful thing about Rey's situation is that he was still wrestling with his gender and sexual identities when he was applying to colleges, and he chose Barnard specifically because he thought an all-female school would be a safer and more accepting place to work through these issues. I think there are probably a lot of women who choose women's schools who are in similar situations. I think I understand where you're coming from, but how it all worked out for Rey is still sort of unfortunate.

I second SarahMC, too. Holly @ Feministe has taught me a ton about transgender / transsex issues, and has kept me from stepping on my dick (har har) on numerous occasions. Feministe in general is like Jezebel's radical activist older sister. I love it.

nerdsausage is a busysausage

It's kind of like some kids who grow up in abusive households. They don't know any different.... that not everyone's family is the same way. That there's another way families can treat each other.

Diane_Court

not home

eastofwest

merci

It's the adults who get anxious, dare I say, projecting their own ish..........

GoodMorningAngels (makes me Charlie)

blurg

My main concern here is a little different, though. This is such new territory medically that I think a lot of doctors would be hesitant to be involved, regardless of their open-mindedness. Hormones can have a lot of effects on a developing fetus, and we don't really understand a lot of them. With OB/GYN practice as litigious as it is, I can imagine a doctor being personally supportive of the decision while remaining very reluctant to provide medical counsel and treatment because of a serious lack of knowledge about the possible outcomes.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that every decision comes with trade-offs, and in some cases where the exact risk is unknown, I would find it very difficult to justify making the clearly riskier choice. Then again, I'm a big worrier in general.

I will say that I think anyone willing to go through all of this to have a child is likely going to be a pretty concientious and caring parent, which is the best thing we can ask for any child.

upinadownworld

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

lovecake

katastic

lovecake

sugartitties

lafleur

snappletree

judithvansteppes

SarahMC

BrooklynBeats

SarahMC

scarletvirtue - plays well with scissors

hellodarling!

Xavoc

It's wonderful when people with fertility issues choose to adopt, but I don't see how this is any more egregious than "traditional" couples spending tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments. From the article, it sounds like all they did here was go off the hormones and then get some donor sperm.

Legalese

Xavoc

That created the most wonderful mental image for me. The uterus just twiddling its fallopian tubes, hanging out. Then the estrogen/FSH moseys on in - "Well hey, look who's back! Let's celebrate!"

This whole things is vaguely mind-boggling but also incredibly awesome. I've met a handful of trans people, and known one FTM fairly well. He's been through a hell of a lot just to feel at home in his own body, and it'll always be, as inchworm said earlier, a matter of settling for 'almost'.

I wish this guy the best, and hope the baby is healthy and the family is happy.

cate3710

Skinny Bone Jones

redheadedstepchild

Legalese

Step_Right_Up

vegemitekid

I guess that's one way of looking at it, but then aren't you then doing exactly that to me? And maybe our "projecting" disagreement is just semantics, but it seems like you are basically saying that nobody is allowed to express disagreement with other people's choices, which seems...confusing.

Banana Grabber

Xavoc

i was under the impression that the egg was his. so it was his egg and they used donor sperm.

but i guess they could have used in vitro (his wife's egg?)

but if he comes off the T he should start ovulating again, so...

anyway, the baby should be fine. the tests they were running were to make sure his T level was suitable for pregnancy. it won't go up again unless he injects it, since that's his only source. and if the testosterone caused any atrophy of his ovaries, etc, he wouldn't have been able to get pregnant in the first place. they probably just hung out, waiting to be recruited by the estrogen/FSH they never thought they'd see again.

inchworm

Xavoc

In fact, we were there because the gf loves mimosas. LOL

Xavoc

How can I compartmentalize organize categorize and diminish the meaning of someone while feeling good about myself.

Xavoc

... a future where people can change sex at will, and he manages to make the essential points that 1. changing your sex doesn't really change who you are and 2. having that option might be fun!...

i'd love to be able to do that~~ especially once a month when it's time to get my period! LOL seriously sometimes i see gay men, or women who used to be men, and they act more "classically" feminine than i do. i guess i'm talking mannerisms, body language, that kind of thing.

msAnthrope

Skinny Bone Jones

eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESUS!1!@#!)

Skinny Bone Jones

It's kind of a strange question, and I want to say love conquers all, but if they had to have a biological child instead of adopt to feel "whole" about it...

Weird, wonder how this will turn out.

Xavoc

eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESUS!1!@#!)

Xavoc

daphne02

Xavoc

SVreader

I know I used to be pretty uptight about the whole thing, but after having a gay boss, gay co-workers, and hanging out in several gay/lesbian bars just having fun I mostly got over it.

Dating a truly bi woman has probably been the best education for me in such regards, as she actively addresses concerns and misconceptions I may have had patiently.

First conversation I ever had with a transexual went as follows.

Him: "Do you...know about me?"
Me: "I've been appraised of the situation."
Him: "Cool."

Life went on, had a great time hanging out w/ people. No drama, no issues, yay I still have a penis.

Xavoc

It's a personal choice. Just because transcouples are more rare than your average couple facing issues having their own children does not mean that they need or deserved to be guilted/frowned upon for not looking at adoption first. They have just as much right as any other struggling couple to have bio-babies.

I still say it's not your place, yo.

Skinny Bone Jones

thatsspinach

well said.

inchworm

briardahl

yes, there are many reasons people transition. or don't. or adopt a different gender but don't have surgery. or transition to someplace between male and female.

@Xavoc:

yes, totally, i didn't mean to imply that they weren't. although, typically, straight male cross dressers don't cross dress ALL the time (i'm sure some do). whereas bio man who identifies as female but does not take E or have any kind of surgery would be "cross-dressing" all the time.

inchworm

SVreader

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

ineffable.me

Xavoc

Banana Grabber

This is purely a guess over here. I assume it's all a lot more complex. I don't think it's totally about embracing the ideas of gender that have marginalized them, though.

rocknrollunicorn

Xavoc

I don't know. You watch them and they're all, "Oh! He likes boys? Like they want to get married! Yay, cake!" and they really don't bat a single freaking eyelash, it's all very "Oh, okay, that's new, but it makes sense. Why shouldn't they get married? They totes should! Great, now that's settled, let's draw tigers!" and it gets progressively less so, as they move from one grade level to another, and see them go from confused to torn to conflicted to downright hostile...God. I can't even talk about it. Also, the specific movie thing I'm talking about is SO expensive to get copies of. When I was TA years ago for my (don't EVEN laugh) women's studies professor, we couldn't keep our hands on copies b/c schools were borrowing them left and right. We never had enough. Ever.

Skinny Bone Jones

blurg

briardahl

many people don't opt for surgical reassignment.

but duder, part of the point is that the world ISN'T open to the gender spectrum. we don't live in that world yet!

and some people argue that transpersons should stop surgically altering their bodies so that they can USHER IN that kind of exposure, but that's a lot to ask, don't you think? shouldn't it be an individual choice?

also, there is a safety issue for some people. walking around as a woman who identifies as male but is still recognizably female is risky in some cases. it's even worse for men who cross dress. transitioning has been a way for many people to stay safe.

@MrsButterworth:

i don't wanna be an asshole here, but i doubt you'd recommend that straight couples forgo their baby-making abilities to adopt. he came off of his T, yes. but other than waiting for him to start ovulating again, all that this required was a few blood tests (to check hormone levels) and ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION. it's hardly drastic fertility measures!

as a gay lady who thinks adoption is awesome, i fully intend to try for artificial insemination first.

inchworm

People are afraid of being categorized into labels they feel have a negative connotation to them.

Walking out of the bathroom in "The Cafe" (I think?) on Castro last Dec a rather male gangster looking lesbian looked at me and said, "I hate you." I just smiled and said, "You're just mad because I didn't have to wait for the stall." We both laughed, and life went on.

Xavoc

UpUpAndAway

LAS

I cannot imagine struggling with my gender. It must be incredibly confusing and hard to understand as a kid, and then so hard to explain to your family (well, a family like mine). I think people should be able to live however the hell they want, wear whatever the hell they want, and as long as they are loved and cared for, raise there children however the hell they want. Someone tell me who I need to vote for to make that the norm.

BlondeGrlz

However, I think he's probably dealt with a ton of shit for his choices thus far, so I agree that he doesn't really have his cake. Plus he never messed with his vadge and uterus, obviously, so it's not really backtracking. Though I guess it is, concerning the hormones...

I guess I'm just kinda, live and let live about this.

rocknrollunicorn

I don't know. If sex-reassignment surgery were truly effective (like, everything got swapped and everything worked) and an outpatient procedure that took like an afternoon, I'd probably have switched sexes two or three times by now just out of curiosity. There's this science fiction author, John Varley, who set a bunch of his novels in a future where people can change sex at will, and he manages to make the essential points that 1. changing your sex doesn't really change who you are and 2. having that option might be fun! And it would make the patriarchy and male privilege a lot more untenable. And getting decent childcare would suddenly be a much higher priority.

nerdsausage is a busysausage

Skinny Bone Jones

doggotmyshoes

it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole.

surgically constructing a penis is very, very difficult and VERY expensive (also generally not covered by insurance). most people don't do it. some people do have a hysterectomy, but it's another expense and when you're taking testosterone, that essentially... blocks the affects of the ute/ovaries.

inchworm

briardahl

edgyspice

[www.amazon.com]

I got my copy at a Good Vibes!

Skinny Bone Jones

well, i don't know about that. as a real-life lesbian, most of the other (granted, lesbians) i've known with trans issues have been more afraid of being stereotyped. like, i'm a lesbian but i am soooo femmy and "normal!" i'm not like those trans dudes! which is just playing into ever more definitions. like, there are all shapes and sizes of gay. and straight!

and some people (gays) take the line that transitioning has nothing to do with sexuality. and that's true. many trans persons, after they have transitioned, are gay. many are straight. many are bi. people tend to conflate gender and sexuality.

that said, in social events at LGB(T) organizations, even the straights are allowed. at more "support" group type events, there is a lot of intersection between the issues faced by transpersons and teh gays. especially since many gay women and men do push the boundaries of gender roles a bit (femmy men, butch women, cross dressing, etc).

inchworm

I don't think the kid will have a hard time understanding this, though. "Mommy couldn't have you in her tummy, so we put you in Daddy's tummy instead." That doesn't seem hard. Yeah, they can have more nuanced discussions later on, but for a kid, that seems fine.

SVreader

doggotmyshoes

Xavoc

Banana Grabber

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

doggotmyshoes

What's_Your_Poison

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just saying it's not what most folks are used to.

Also - is he planning to get a penis, or stick with the vagina? I can understand being transgender and having sex reassignment surgery, but honestly I'm a little confused about why he kept the vagina, unless it was primarily for birthin' babies. Can someone explain?

kansasgirl

Kids pretty much don't judge people by race, sexual preference, religion, economic status, until they are taught those concepts by adults, and receive influence as to what is good/bad from those adults.

Xavoc

I can see what you're saying about him wanting to be a man, and yet wanting to retain the baby-making ability of a female. The concept seems really foreign to me, I'll admit, and my mind is whirring, trying to understand the mechanics of it. I haven't gotten past that point yet.

petuniacat

(That said, transgendered and transexual folks are under no obligation to go disconnecting "sex" from "gender," so obviously I don't have any blanket complaints with whatever they decide they'd like to do.)

briardahl

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

This is going to sound crass, and likely a bit dismissive, but a lot of it, from what I've been told, seems to come down to penis/vagina envy.

Xavoc

I understand that you can't force people to adopt, and I am NOT advocating that. It's just... always an option, I guess.

Anyway, this story warms my heart!

dancingteacups

Anyone who likes thinking about these things should dig up the reprint of Shulamith Firestone's The Dialectic of Sex. It's a lost radical feminist classic, and I promise it will totally monkey with your notions of gender and parenting and how they intersect.

nerdsausage is a busysausage

edgyspice

What's_Your_Poison

thevagrantweed

2. There are elementary school-level videos dealing with K-6 kids learning about and talking about and dealing with homosexuality and they all resoundingly demonstrate that the older kids get, the less tolerant. THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT FOR KIDS TO GRASP. The younger they are, the more loving, accepting and tolerant they are. As they get older and are raised by ignorant, bigoted, shelter-y parents, plus all the stealthy homophobic shit in kids tele/movies, THAT is how you get kids who have a hard time with it, yo.

3. Also? Hi. Gay ass fucking dyke mother of one here. The petite is already stronger, more logical, thoughtful, determined, compassionate and honest than most adults I've met, or meet. Suck on that. She sure as hell won't grow up to be the kind of person who recoils from people who are different from her.

Skinny Bone Jones

Even though medical intervention also happened in this case, it seems different.

I do see what you mean, though.

Archetype

how about more like never getting what you want at all and settling for some kind of in between that, for many people, is difficult to deal with forever?

inchworm