Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head" - Jezebel Comments

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

BlueParadox — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:31:12 EDT

I know all about that Perez clown, and the other people described say equally stupid things. Insulting Liv Tyler was what really upset me. For one thing, I like her. And she's the birth daughter of Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith. He had problems with drug addiction before, but they currently are on good terms. So if you mess with Liv, you mess with Aerosmith (or at least the memory of the band). And you don't mess with Aerosmith. Perez Wideload shouldn't even be talking.

Several punishments suggested in various of these blog reports are disturbing, but good job on it overall.

FreshTyn at 05:06 PM on 03/14/08
"In Perez's defence, Liv Tyler does have a really small head."

1. You shouldn't be defending him at all.

2. She does not have a small head. He's wrong, and so are you. Her head is a normal size, end of discussion.

And another thing, the swimsuit IS flattering on her.

aegyptus at 08:57 PM on 03/14/08
"Not all women have to shave their thighs? That's not fair."

Of course they don't, because it would be amazingly silly to make it a law. And it is fair. Unfair would be if it weren't a choice. Unless you're talking about women who don't grow hair on their legs for some reason, which they can't be blamed for.

Seriously, you people complaining about women not shaving their legs should knock it off. I can't say that I'm a fan of it either, but I'm not going to be mean about it. They may just be having a hard week.

And like someone else said shaving DOESN'T galvanize the hair follicles, that's just a myth. It would only come back more if it were ingrown. And yes, you CAN switch over to waxing if you've been shaving.

PhillyLass at 05:45 PM on 03/14/08
"Because you're not putting the smack down on his bullshit. You're feeding his twisted, sinister, deluded ego and, thereby, unwittingly escalating his misogyny. Why not focus on those bloggers who might actually experience their virtual wrist-slap as a revelation and change their ways?"

Not talking about it would be even worse. And it's not escalating anything, it's exposing him for what he is.

ceejeemcbeegee at 07:04 PM on 03/14/08
"On second thought, DS DID give us such gems as 'fucking d*kes' and 'femnazi boner killers'..."
That's not a good thing. The first one is akin to racial slurs and the second is just stupid.

BlueParadox

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

coldestcaress — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:15:37 EDT

I shave above the knee. It doesn't feel right otherwise.

Also, I think Liv Tyler's skin is beautiful. FFS, not every fair-skinned woman WANTS to be tanned. Some of us like our pale complexions.

coldestcaress

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Trixie from Toronto — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 21:35:07 EDT

@JRae: I know scientifically it is supposed to be untrue, but when I shaved the flaxen blond above the knee, in six months it was dark, long and coarse. That's why I had to start waxing.

Pediatricians also tell you that teething does not cause diaper rash. I had two babies. Each had scorching diaper rashes every time a tooth was coming in. When the tooth emerged -- poof, no more diaper rash!

Sometimes old wives' tales are true, no matter what the experts say!

Trixie from Toronto

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Gangee — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 02:30:42 EDT

Oh I think Michael K would LOVE going bra shopping with aretha, he loves the chi chis!

also, lets just ignore DS....he does this stuff on purpose and we just give him attention.

Gangee

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Rooo sez BISH PLZ — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:14:14 EDT

Can't tell you how much I enjoy how you ladies think.

From elegant behavioral rehab (read: "deserved revenge for doucheheadeness") to mutual support for that (strong noses, wandering leg hair) on which we are endlessly judged --

Warm Fuzzies to All.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

hostupide — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 03:21:30 EDT

My drunken observation on Drunken Stepfather:

He's not meant to be taken literally. I mean he's overtly misogynistic, yet self deprecating. My take on his musings are that he's poking fun of males who validate themselves by being hyper-critical of a given females' sexual appeal. I gather he sees this in himself and sees the humor in it.

Granted, I am ever the intoxicated idealistic.

hostupide

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

minou — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:29:15 EDT

Oh thank christ. Liv Tyler looks like me in a bikini. And when I look at her, all I see is beautiful. Yes! YES!

minou

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

JRae — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:53:21 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: You guys gotta really stop believing this whole "shaving=darker hair" thing. That has been misproven so many times, it almost makes me want to cry that women still believe that crap!!

What's REALLY going on, is that when hair grows out for the first time, the tip is finer than the base. So if you wax, you keep getting new fair with fine tips. If you shave, you cut it off at the base where it's thicker, so when it grows out some more it appears thicker/darker because you don't have that beginning fine taper at the top. So if you wax, the hair will APPEAR to be finer and thinner, but it's the same thickness and darkness at the base as shaved hair is at the top.

But it does not affect the thickness or darkness of your hair overall, nor does it change it over time. Cutting a hair, which is dead, can not possibly affect the hair follicle or quality of new hair produced in ANY way. It is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!! Study some human anatomy! :P

JRae

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

JRae — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:42:42 EDT

@TropicalParadise: Don't be ridiculous, shaving doesn't affect your hair follicles at all (unless you get an ingrown hair, but that won't change the quality of your hairs). That is such an old wive's tale. Your hair probably just got that way as you aged. Yes, regular aging affects shit like that...

JRae

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

insomniacm — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:39:39 EDT

just because I like Dlisted: Michael K actually is the only male blogger who doesn't criticize women for getting shapely when they're pregnant or after. See today when he talked about how good Nicole Richie looks now that she has shape.
I can't help that I find him funny! He has an obsession with large breasts. Comparatively speaking, he's sweeter than a lot of the other ones out there. :)

insomniacm

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

JRae — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:30:41 EDT

For the Drunken Stepfather, he should have to follow all of the above methods he listed for weight loss, all while a bunch of beautiful women yell "fatty fatty fat fat" at him and talk about how disgusting he is and how they'll never do him. Then once he gets skinny enough, they still won't do him just because he's an asshole. :)

JRae

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Jaecikae — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:10:06 EDT

I just went to DrunkenStepfather and I think I found a passage that explains just why he hates women so much.

"I guess in an ideal world any girl who sleeps in the same bed as me will be nude or in something that leaves her vagina exposed because that way I have easy access to finger bang or squeeze my dick in them while they sleep, it's pretty much the only sex I could ever get without drugs or money….unfortunately, it's not an ideal world and my wife is a fucking beast who fortunately smells too bad to sleep with naked, so I try to wrap her clothed body up in one of those plastic sheets you have to prevent pissing through the mattress because she's the last bitch I'd want to midnight molest."

Haha. Poor kid, what he sees on his screen is as close as he probably gets to vadge. He has to take it out on someone, right? It's almost (almost) amusing to watch, in the same way it is to watch a two year old have a temper tantrum if you're not his mom.

Jaecikae

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Stabby Hussein McStabberson — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 12:16:49 EDT

I'm dark and hairy, so my knees always have bangs.

Stabby Hussein McStabberson

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

snaffle — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 10:52:27 EDT

@mepo: I think if you've got fine (thin!) hair on your head the chances are that things will be on the wispy side on the rest of you too. I don't think you'd get away with it if you had ambitions to be a swimsuit model but for those of us in chilly old blighty it'll do just fine. Dark hair would obviously be more of a problem. I get a sort of cuff of darker hair around my ankles, it I let it grow I lokk a little like a cart ('working'? 'great'? not sure what US english would be) horse.

snaffle

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

greenglass — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 05:00:50 EDT

...I shave above the knees...

greenglass

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

drewheyman — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 00:17:34 EDT

Wait a minute... you say it's wrong and want to punish people for making fun of fat women, and in your picture that guy is 5'5" and weighs 500 lbs.

eye for an eye huh?

drewheyman

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

denises_24 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 23:02:29 EDT

@anniehall: Mr. 24 has a huge head. In pictures it looks like his is going to eat mine. For the record, I like big heads, I assume you are smarter.

denises_24

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

trikitixa — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 22:58:49 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto:
Agreed. I have never shaved my thighs and you can't even see the hair; my calves are another story. I have an aunt who has only waxed her legs for the last 30 years and no longer has leg hair, the bitch. So jealous.

trikitixa

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

rubalicious — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 22:46:43 EDT

My Liv! Nooo!
I still don't quite understand the widespread weight obsession. There can't really be that many people, with that much free time AND that much hatred in their souls, right? Me and Thuggy Bear are gonna cuddle and forget about it.

rubalicious

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

TeeEmGeeEff — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 22:40:16 EDT

I say we exchange Perez's face with DS's face. Of course, I'd also be all for ignoring DS altogether. The above posters are right--he feeds off any attention he gets here, and is never going to change his ways. Please stop feeding his ego.

On another note, I thought the "fucking dyke" thing was from that pretty but dumb news anchor in Philly? Color me confused...

TeeEmGeeEff

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:44:29 EDT

@sarita: I didn't have any hair but fine blonde hair on my upper thighs til I turned 40. And then, holy shit! I had to start waxing and indeed it's true, if you wax often enough, eventually the hair throws up the white flag and says: "OK, you win. We're not coming back."

But once you start shaving? You cannot really switch over to waxing.

So I have words of advice to you young ladies in here:

1. Never, ever shave above the knee.
2. If you feel you must, get waxed instead. And in fact, wax the entire leg before ever shaving. Eventually, the hair gives up the battle. Shaving -- it galvanizes them! Makes them stronger, darker, more sinister and invasive!!

Trixie from Toronto

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

fembot — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:43:35 EDT

@FreshTyn:
and that is a hideously unflattering swimwear choice for her

fembot

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:40:47 EDT

@lisas: He is my favourite gay, and the funniest thing in Harold and Kumar.

Trixie from Toronto

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Bathsheba — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:37:10 EDT

@FreshTyn: I've got that going on too. But I think it might just look extra small because she's got kinda broad shoulders. Which in my opinion, is elegant.

I don't see what the big deal with body hair is. So what. We aren't dolphins.

Bathsheba

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Mrs. Ron Albertson — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:20:42 EDT

I have to defend Michael K, I love him and honestly he is just pointing out the obvious. Aretha's boobs are ENORMOUS. She really looks unhealthy like its hard for her to breath!

Mrs. Ron Albertson

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:18:07 EDT

@sarita: My fiance waxed me once. I cried.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

sarita — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:16:13 EDT

My mom is one of those blondes who doesn't shave her thighs. I, on the other hand, didn't get lucky with those genes. I've found that if you wax instead of shave, the hair grows back lighter! At least for me.

sarita

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lisas — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:15:59 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Ahahahaha, I never cared much for the Doog until I saw him on celebrity Jeopardy and he was smart and adorable. I understand the love.

lisas

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:02:58 EDT

@aegyptus: Can you please post at least one photo of your wolverine? Ah go on.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:01:51 EDT

@aegyptus: ohh dammit I agree, hairless freaks.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:00:42 EDT

@lisas: I will never forgive him for outing Doogie Howser. Never!!!!

Trixie from Toronto

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

aegyptus — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:57:34 EDT

@MaeHemm: Not all women have to shave their thighs? That's not fair.

aegyptus

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

aegyptus — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:56:39 EDT

@mepo: I dated a guy who dressed up as Wolverine as Halloween one year. Massive sideburns and wicked chest hair and everything. Best Halloween ever.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who appreciates the hirsuite.

aegyptus

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lisas — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:53:16 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: I dunno, the doodles he does on pictures is no more annoying than watermarks other places put on there. It's his version of poo jokes and I can get behind that.

I also believe Perez is improving, but the price of the notoriety he courts is that he has to be the poster boy. I say leave him up as an example to all the little misogynists that covet his success.

lisas

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lisas — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:47:48 EDT

@mepo: Ohhh... that is hot.

I don't even get hair all over my calves, just the front outer parts. If humans were furry I'd look mangy.

lisas

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

MaeHemm — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:46:56 EDT

I have to shave above the knee, as do my sisters...my cousins, however, do not. In fact, my aunt was confused as to why I bothered shaving above the knee...I was like "Uhhh, cause otherwise I look like a beast." I remember how annoyed I was when I realized that not all women have to shave their thighs.

MaeHemm

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:57:31 EDT

@snaffle: No way, I just thought all ladies shaved above the knee. Am I mental or does hair actually grow all the way up? It's not like my knee is the US boarder protected by anti-shaving Minutemen.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

snaffle — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:53:35 EDT

I have blonde hair which has got mousier with age. I have shaved above the knee a handfull of times. I think she looks fiiiiine! I once had a faintly abusive relationship with a 20-something boyfriend at 15 and he told me only sluts shaved above the knee! Weird one there, I'd forgotten that until just now.

Liv Tyler is super hot and even turns my head despite my depressingly straight leanings.

snaffle

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

vegemitekid — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:48:43 EDT

@jane D'oh!: Same here! Let those things grow and I'd be trying to tuck them into my socks so they don't show out the bottom of my trousers.

Also, I have always loved Liv Tyler, she's always been normal sized and gorgeous. She's the woman I'd love to be.

vegemitekid

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:26:39 EDT

@filleunique: Oh please. He is the most vile of the bunch. If he's suddenly pretending to be charitable, it's for PR purposes. The guy is an amoral thief, and when he stops drawing cum marks dribbling out of people's mouths and outing stars who don't want to be outed, then complain about his inclusion here. Sheesh.

Trixie from Toronto

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mllej — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:11:04 EDT

@I, SBJ, A Fucking Dyke: Hmmm, will you travel??

mllej

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

ceejeemcbeegee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:04:03 EDT

On second thought, DS DID give us such gems as "fucking d*kes" and "femnazi boner killers"...

ceejeemcbeegee

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

AnnieGetYourFun — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:01:43 EDT

I'd just be happy if DF was outted. It'd be really cool to see his entire life fall apart. No, seriously. I would take total, non-guilty pleasure in watching his family (he has one, right?) leave him, painfully and publicly.

AnnieGetYourFun

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

katekate is squared — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:01:33 EDT

@Svenskasweetie: Hah, neither could I!

katekate is squared

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

katekate is squared — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:01:14 EDT

Fuck, I'd kill for Liv Tyler's bod, so whatever. But I have to say, in that picture, her head does seem oddly small. I don't normally think that about her, so maybe it's just the angle.

katekate is squared

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Svenskasweetie — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:58:14 EDT

@dancingteacups: See, I would say that he ought to be tethered to a treadmill going at 9 mph for 20 hours a day so that he can get a taste of "extreme cardio". Dude probably couldn't even keep up for 2 minutes.

Svenskasweetie

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:56:39 EDT

Drunken Stepfather clearly enjoys pulling our pigtails. Because he obviously isn't getting any lady lovin'. Let's send over a celeb love doll, and maybe he'll cheer up and be nicer.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Ms Pointy — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:36:28 EDT

@frecklefacefreak: I have a very large head. It's hard to find hats that fit. Also, that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine gets self-conscious of her head-girth and then a bird flies into it? Totes has happened to me.

Ms Pointy

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:33:41 EDT

@lisas: Ignoring your bikini line, that's true emancipation. I'm sure hairy men have a higher testosterone level and rock in bed. Hugh Jackman does a very, very good Wolverine. It's mad that he looks so scrawny then when not in character. I went to a fancy dress party and there was a guy dressed as Wolverine, I nearly came in my pants - had the sideburns and all. Wait maybe that was just a dream, no no it was real.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

filleunique — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:30:51 EDT

That first comment has just reinforced what I've been meaning to say for a while - isn't it time Perez got his picture taken down from this section? He hardly features in it any more and sometimes his face is right up next to vile quotes which aren't his.

I know he's the most recognisable of bloggers, but I think he should be cut some slack this week since he's started plugging charities on his site. Credit where credit's due, and bitching where it's itching!

filleunique

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Dauphine — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:26:41 EDT

I think Drunken Stepfather should be given the medical side-effects of an eating disorder: heart arrhythmias, hair falling out, the supreme anxiety, oh the possible lack of being able to control your bowels as a side-effect of muscle loss and many other things.

I only WISH I were as gorgeous as Liv Tyler. I have the pale skin, but look much more like a ghost with blonde-y hair.

Dauphine

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

hotpotatoes — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:25:36 EDT

@gwai lo:
I second the motion.

My suggestion for Drunken Stepfather and the rest of his ilk? Post their pictures on this site and let the public bashing begin. Fight fire with fire.

hotpotatoes

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lisas — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:23:40 EDT

@mepo: omg me too! My hirsute man preference definitely came from obsessively reading X-men. Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Beast, YUM.

My current crush is superhairy, and I totally get the loving how he makes me feel hairless, even though I've ignored my bikini line since 2004.

lisas

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

SBJ — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:22:01 EDT

@MsDirector: Exacting revenge is one of my favorite hobbies. No, really. It is. Friends turn to me when they need that special break-up or confrontation email, when they want to put an end to their stalkery exes, when enough is, at long last, enough. Plus, I'm free. I'm like Billy from the musical Chicago...all I need is love. The only difference is I'm not a greedy, slimy bastard. I'm a vindictive, smart hottie with a mean streak! I'd be happy to help.

SBJ

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:19:43 EDT

@mercymercyme: I love Jezebel and how we all give each other a boost, it's so nice and flies in the face of the the percieved female bitchiness.

I too have a big nose but hell it gives me 'character'. As it's a family feature and we all fight over who actually has the biggest nose - we put it to the test after a few drinks and each measured them (working out the area of our noses). Fuck it was hilarious.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mercymercyme — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:14:57 EDT

@special_boots: Are you serious? That nose of yours (you may think it's big, but I don't see it, frankly) is perfect for your face, and you're very pretty!

mercymercyme

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:09:36 EDT

@Algren: Oh I could tame him. When he has the curlers in and he's getting all metrosexual - it cracks me up every time. Mainly I just love it when he roars and growls. I had total prebubescent girl wood. Still gives me the wood mind you. I have the DVD, you can sing along to it too. It's just a gift that keeps giving.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

gobblegirl — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:08:00 EDT

I would bathe in the blood of unicorns every day if I could have skin like Liv Tyler's.

gobblegirl

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

andromache is freakin' out, man. — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:03:25 EDT

Drunken Stepfather should be:
a) chained to the toilet and force-fed donuts and french fries for 2 years.
b) chained to a couch and force-fed until his skin fuses to the couch.
c) maimed and his dick cut off.
d) forced to tailor clothing for fit models at Lane Bryant.
e) thrown in the hospital, put on an IV to keep him from dying, and not allowed to eat until he wastes away to a painful 90lbs. or, it could be done like in that movie Se7en when the guy kept the victim barely alive but he was like a living corpse when Brad Pitt found him. yeah, I prefer that one. except Brad Pitt never finds him because he gets lost and ends up in my bedroom.

andromache is freakin' out, man.

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:01:44 EDT

@mepo: So was I! Didn't you think he was so much hotter as the Beast. I'm not really into hairy guys, but the prince was so girly and the Beast -- oooh, if only someone could tame him . . .

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:00:21 EDT

@mepo: Hehe! Is it a toenail clipper or a hedge trimmer?

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:58:44 EDT

@jane D'oh!: That's why I love Wolverine so much. He's basically my ideal man. Oh and Beast from 'Beauty and the Beast' - I'm always disappointed when he returns to crappy hairless human form.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:56:04 EDT

@Algren: Ha! Is it a tampon or a toilet roll. Oh we are onto a winner here.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

TropicalParadise — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:54:24 EDT

I have very thin, fair blonde hair. I started shaving my legs when I was 13. The hair on my legs is now thick, black and coarse. If I shaved above the knee, in a year, I'd have pubes down to my toe knuckles.

TropicalParadise

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:52:59 EDT

@TacoToes: Speaking of which, FEMILADY would be a great name for a lady razor. Ooooh, this is getting so meta!

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:51:25 EDT

@mepo: Oh now that IS clever! Is it a 1 liter diet coke or a 2 liter? Is it a mushroom or a penis?

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

twelve12 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:50:51 EDT

@mepo: Ooo! I finally got me one of those beast-men too! Don't know why I never thought of it before :)

twelve12

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

CrazyLegsMeg — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:50:27 EDT

i have to say that i don't think it's fair to use perez's face when he's not even on the condemned list. that being said, he is a bully and an opportunist who will get his...

CrazyLegsMeg

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:48:49 EDT

@Algren: Oh yay we should so start some freaky website. Each day we'd hold a new item, which would look massive in our little hands. Is it a thimble or a cup? Oh we'd make a fortune.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

TacoToes — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:47:13 EDT

@FromTheFuture: Can I just say that femilady is my new favorite word?

TacoToes

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:46:23 EDT

@jane D'oh!: Oh I thought knee-reaching pubes was just natural. I'm like Homer I shave and the stubble just pops right up. Thankfully my fiance is a hairy beast so I'll always look like a lady by comparison.

When I win me the lotto I'm totes going to laser every hair off.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

PhillyLass — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:45:23 EDT

"Why should we let him get away with being sexist and misogynistic without calling him out on it?"

Because you're not putting the smack down on his bullshit. You're feeding his twisted, sinister, deluded ego and, thereby, unwittingly escalating his misogyny. Why not focus on those bloggers who might actually experience their virtual wrist-slap as a revelation and change their ways?

PhillyLass

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:43:55 EDT

@mepo: PROSTITUTE HANDS! OMG, I have PROSTITUTE HANDS! I think I heart you as well.

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

SoCalGilligan — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:43:06 EDT

This is all so enraging. I blame the Fark.com forums.

SoCalGilligan

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mepo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:42:17 EDT

We slag my little brother's slightly small head by calling him 'Beetle Juice Head' - oh how we laugh. I have tiny tiny hands which my sister calls 'prostitute's hands' cause they'd make a penis look massive.

Ah siblings, without them who would I be. Sane and witout issues no doubt but how boring would that be.

mepo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

solidbrassfasteners — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:41:24 EDT

@SharonTaint: Yes. Although, it can't all be tapeworms and treadmills. Let's let him enjoy himself a little.

How about, while on the treadmill for eternity, there is a constant loop of Inside Edition's coverage of the "Anorexic Twins" playing on the TV? I'm sure he'll love that.

solidbrassfasteners

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:39:10 EDT

@plitter: Can it be read online?

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

AthertonMerriweather — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:38:09 EDT

The only time I shave my legs is if I'm going to be seeing my boyfriend. The rest of the week I'm a fucking ape. Go on Celine, I ain't mad at ya!

AthertonMerriweather

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:37:56 EDT

@I, SBJ, A Fucking Dyke: You're assuming he has sex now. I have this image of him as a pimply boy with BO who never could get a date in high school.

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Algren — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:36:22 EDT

@FreshTyn: I heart Liv Tyler. She is a goddess. And she never ended up in tabloids. I heart her.

Algren

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Rooo sez BISH PLZ — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:35:45 EDT

We might just realize it, but here's the thing --

1) Do you really think he'd be trying to be your friend on Facebook (ECHH!) if he weren't getting off on the attention?

Remember those nasty little boys in grade school who pulled your pigtails and threw rocks at you?

2) I think we don't really see how paying attention to him here in any way abrogates all the other harassment and trash talk. Please feel free to enlighten, though.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

ceejeemcbeegee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:34:33 EDT

Drunken Stepfather's Sentence: How about manning up and talking some of that yang to Mo'niqui'e face?

ceejeemcbeegee

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

twelve12 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:33:13 EDT

Wait, what? No shaving above the knee? But my pubes run halfway down my inner thighs....
DAMN YOU sephardic genes!

twelve12

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

FromTheFuture — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:33:09 EDT

Okay, I am perplexed by drunken stepfather. I was once on this fashion social networking site and he was insistent on being my friend and sending me messages and links, and 1. I am not skinny 2. I look like the kind of Tina Fey-esque lady who would hate his shenanigans and am not very discreet about my femilady opinions. What do you think is going on there? Glutton for punishment perhaps? Secret nerd crush? B/c he clearly hearts Jezebelles in a big way despite whatever he writes.

FromTheFuture

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Archetype — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:32:20 EDT

@suburbanstoner-corporateslave: Yes but it keeps her warm!

Archetype

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

MsDirector — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:30:48 EDT

@I, SBJ, A Fucking Dyke: I just want to say that, based on this and other posts, if I ever need to exact revenge on someone, SBJ, you better believe i'm'a call you.

MsDirector

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lolacat(ΩΜ) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:30:18 EDT

That Celine Dion picture- that is why I hate blondes- not having to shave above the knee.

lolacat(ΩΜ)

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

suburbanstoner-corporateslave — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:29:00 EDT

I have to agree on Celine's body hair. Anorexic fuzz gives me the creeps.

suburbanstoner-corporateslave

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

gwai lo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:28:27 EDT

The only way to punish Drunken Stepfather would be to out him. I know Tracie said she wouldn't, but I have a feeling being anonymous is what allows him to be so flippantly obscene.

gwai lo

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

SharonTaint — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:26:42 EDT

@solidbrassfasteners: Drunken Stepfather not only gets tapeworm for life but is chained to a treadmill set at 8.9 and an incline of 10.

FOR LIFE.

SharonTaint

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

anniehall — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:26:06 EDT

@frecklefacefreak: i feel your pain, but on the flip side-- i, on the other hand, have a really huge head. and i'm pretty average-bodied, no skinny minnie here... so it's not a matter of proportions like when women get too thin, i just have an enormous head. ever see the seinfeld episode when elaine is convinced she has a "large, freak head"? yup, that's me.

in other news, liv tyler is frickin gorgeous

anniehall

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

plitter — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:25:20 EDT

You may not even realize how much women get bashed, criticized and judged on the Web. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. A reminder -- of how unfair, tired, shallow and systemically denigrating people can be is important. Why should we let him get away with being sexist and misogynistic without calling him out on it?

There's a really interesting article in the latest issue of Bitch about this exact topic. Highly recommend it - there's a lot of discussion on how women especially can deal with assholes on the Intarwebs.

plitter

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

hugnkiss — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:25:16 EDT

@Boredinacubicle: And they have to constantly ask him if the outfit they're wearing makes them look fat ... while he's wearing a ball-gag. Might as well make it interactive.

hugnkiss

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

SBJ — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:24:12 EDT

I think that Drunken Fuckwad should be chained to a wall in a rat-infested cage or cement block and force-fed box after box after box of Krispy Kreme donuts, watching one terribly sobering childbirth video after another (assuming, of course, that he doesn't jerk off to them already, but considering what a disgusting fucking rotten shit he is, he might) so as to systematically induce an involuntary vomit response at the sigh of a vagina.

Thus, being unable to have sex ever, ever, ever again.

SBJ

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

frecklefacefreak — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:22:51 EDT

@special_boots: you're purdy...but your wine glass is too small. That's my criticism of you missy. Get thee a bigger wine glass!

frecklefacefreak

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Boredinacubicle — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:22:20 EDT

I say a good punnishment for drunken stepfather is to be locked in a room full of women who talk about nothing except their latest diets, what calorie laden foods they want to induldge in and play the "what I ate today" game.

Boredinacubicle

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

solidbrassfasteners — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:22:02 EDT

@rednrowdy: Then what about a penis fish?

Sorry, I'm stuck on parasites today, apparently.

solidbrassfasteners

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

KnitSandwich — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:21:43 EDT

I hate people. Puppies, please.

KnitSandwich

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

lisas — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:21:41 EDT

Lots of you guys suggest we ignore him, but here's the thing: You may not even realize how much women get bashed, criticized and judged on the Web.

If it's that common, why keep going back to this particular well? It's not like his vitriol is that much worse than everyone else's.

Also: I do know it's that common, but the rhetorical question just fit my comment better.

lisas

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

mllej — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:21:22 EDT

I think Drunken Stepfather's obviously shitty lot in life is enough of a punishment.

Nahh, let's clamp his balls in a vise.

mllej

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

frecklefacefreak — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:20:46 EDT

@FreshTyn: perez didn't say that....and I have small head too...not that small...but small :( it sucks!

frecklefacefreak

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

geisha1010 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:19:53 EDT

@oryx: shyeah

geisha1010

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Archetype — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:19:02 EDT

@FreshTyn: That wasn't Perez. And no, it's really not all that small.

Archetype

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

hugnkiss — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:18:58 EDT

@caffeinequeen: "...and Veronica Moser (DO NOT GOOGLE, YOU WILL SCAR YOUR SOUL) vids on repeat?"

See, ya say stuff like that and then I get curious. This is exactly why I've had to start keeping a Visine bottle full of bleach next to my laptop.

hugnkiss

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

geisha1010 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:18:55 EDT

drunken stepfather is such a pathetic site. i don't even look at it. i know what it's going to tell me...

*boobs are nice when their big, most chicks are completely unfuckable either because they're sluts, bitches, psychos, fatties, or boney, and being fuckable is the only thing women should strive to be, and even though i've never actually seen a naked women besides the porn stars i shellac all over my page, my opinion counts WAY more than anyone elses. i love tits. pubic hair is scary. bitches and hos.*

geisha1010

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

dancingteacups — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:17:52 EDT

@special_boots: You're totally right. Despicable.

dancingteacups

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

rednrowdy — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:17:44 EDT

@solidbrassfasteners: but see, he'd probably like that. something would have to be given to him that he would despise.

@caffeinequeen: that's it. you're getting warmer.

rednrowdy

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

special_boots — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:16:26 EDT

Can we talk about the anti-Semitism displayed by Drunken Stepfather here, too?

I mean, maybe I'm just supersensitive because I too have a big Jewish nose (yes, that's me, look at it there, it's huge), but... wtf? Seriously?

special_boots

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

Kali Mama — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:15:24 EDT

Man I could open any page in the DSM IV and have the contents apply to Drunken Stepfather.

Kali Mama

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

haguenite — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:14:34 EDT

My recommendation? Let us know his frickin' identity! We know you know who he is, if I remember correctly SM even has his picture.
He's a bastard, and what's your right to privacy on the internet anyway? (You can start hating on me now).

haguenite

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

anniehall — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:12:19 EDT

i wish no harm on ANYONE else as a result of his disgusting arrogance and stupidity, but god forbid a woman in drunkenstepfather's life, someone he loves (if he's capable of that) be diagnosed with a terminal illness... see if he still says he counts that as a good means by which a woman can become thin. HORRIBLE.

anniehall

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

geisha1010 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:12:03 EDT

i saw both posts on the skinny and was guessing which one you'd pick out. glad you got both. also, i'm totally adding you as my friend on facebook.

geisha1010

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

solidbrassfasteners — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:12:01 EDT

Drunken Stepfather gets a tapeworm. For life.

solidbrassfasteners

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

caffeinequeen — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:10:08 EDT

Awww, Dlisted's comment ain't that bad. Aretha DOES have colossal bajongas. But if Michael K does complete his sentence, I'll totes go shopping with him.

As for Drunken Stepfather, hmmm...how about sitting in a chair with his eyes propped open, a la Clockwork Orange, being forced to watch "2 girls, 1 cup" and Veronica Moser (DO NOT GOOGLE, YOU WILL SCAR YOUR SOUL) vids on repeat?

caffeinequeen

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

BitchIsTheNewBlack — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:09:14 EDT

Ok about the Celine Dion body hair... I love my naturally dark hair but when I saw that picture I was like DAMNIT! I think I might just be a tad jealous people with light hair can get away with that!

As for the eating disorder and skinny by any means quote, I really really really hope the worst things upon him, and him alone.

And Liv Tyler is gaaaaaaaawwwwgous!

BitchIsTheNewBlack

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

oryx — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:09:09 EDT

Re: the drunken stepfather: Has anyone seen that Hatchet vs. Genitals video (aka BME Pain Olympics)? If not, DON'T, but that's my suggestion!

oryx

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

abagofsand — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:09:09 EDT

i suspected Celine just had "Lanugo"

abagofsand

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

dancingteacups — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:08:04 EDT

Perhaps force that last asshat to follow some of his own recommendations? Drug addiction sure is fun!

dancingteacups

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

brassinpocket — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:06:24 EDT

Sure, no problem. Who does this fat talentless fuck think he is?

brassinpocket

Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"

FreshTyn — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:06:15 EDT

In Perez's defence, Liv Tyler does have a really small head.

FreshTyn