Hot Air - Jezebel Comments

Hot Air

Rooo sez BISH PLZ — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:28:55 EDT

@Macloserboy: I'm still inclined to agree with you on that (it may be wishful thinking, but ...).

An implied likeness theory, or something.

Bette Midler sued an ad agency (I think it was) who were tyring to use a soundalike, instead of her, and I think she won.

Plus, Eva and J-Lo could try defamation. I think I'd certainly try it if someone called me "JHo".

Why, yes, I think this "inventor" should be broke and crying in the street, why do you ask? :D

*retches*

@mepo: There you GO again ... *collapses in laughter*

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

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tasia — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:53:43 EDT

A cone-titted inflatable doll standing on its tip-toes: fucking wonderful. Some people will have sex with anything, Jesus.

tasia

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Madeline — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:51:39 EDT

Haha! My mom calls Desperate Housewives "Desperate Whores".

Madeline

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ManhattanManHatin' — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:01:24 EDT

There are also love dolls shaped as sheep, pigs, and cattle. It is a favorite graduation present in Indiana.

ManhattanManHatin'

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hellodarling! — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:22:18 EDT

@cuteasabutton: I'm 99.9% certain I watched that exact same documentary - with the guy who had like, eight Real Dolls, right? Boyfriend and I watched the entire thing open-mouthed in a mixture of horror and pity.

hellodarling!

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Atsumi — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:13:54 EDT

I love how the people on the front don't even remotely resemble who it's supposed to be.

Atsumi

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TheVaginaWig — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:04:49 EDT

@hammerimissu: We mostly sold them as gag gifts. It was very rare that people actually bought them with the intention of using them. If they were looking for something to actually use, they usually bought pocket pussies.

Though we did have a guy come in and buy a blow-up doll and then call in the next day asking if he could have his money back because "it hurt." I always imagined that trying to fuck one of those things would feel something like fucking one of those floaties that kids wear on their arms to go swimming.

And we bought one as a joke for our friend's 16-year-old brother only to discover that he had used it when we picked it up and cum dripped out of one of the "love holes." That was disturbing.

TheVaginaWig

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TheVaginaWig — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:59:10 EDT

I used to work at an adult toy store and we sold the Paris Love Doll and the Dirty Christina Love Doll. They were two of our best sellers.

And I always wanted to tell the Christina doll and the real Christina got "DIRRTY" and not just "dirty".

TheVaginaWig

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britainm3 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:39:16 EDT

Ha ha ha!!! That JLo blown up is the funniest thing. The lucky purchaser also has the Madonna-inspired cone-shaped breasts to boot!

britainm3

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shananigans — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:22:01 EDT

The covers are creative. The actual dolls not so much. LOL.

shananigans

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mepo — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:28:18 EDT

Can I gets me a Wolverine - though I think I it may burst itself.

mepo

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Private Hangnail — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:03:23 EDT

The Ms. Lopez doll looks as if its ass is being sucked into a vortex of some sort which the photographer has accidently neglected to include in the frame. Hot!

Private Hangnail

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KaliMama (Ganesha is my Om boy) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:01:40 EDT

@hammerimissu: I think those 50-ish unwashed men that want to show you their member in the park.

KaliMama (Ganesha is my Om boy)

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Meg — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:54:30 EDT

Talk about false advertising! It would be more realistic, cheaper, and easier on the lungs, to cut and paste the ladies' pictures onto an empty toilet paper roll. Though, the toilet paper roll only offers two love holes.

@BAngieB: It doesn't even look like your girl. I think the one in the backround looks more like Elizabeth Hurley. Though I'm guessing once inflated (the fuck?), they pretty much all look the same.

Meg

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BlondeGrlz — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:53:18 EDT

@stolichnora: I am now buying a "love doll" for my friend will a pool and pretending I thought it WAS a pool float, completely innocently.

BlondeGrlz

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EdnasEdibles — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:26:47 EDT

@nodoubt9203 (Reefer Madness '36):
For the comma eyebrows . . . I have a theory that they're on all meth. I watch a lot of Intervention and I have yet to see a meth addict that hasn't completely done away with her brows and redrawn messy commas in their place.

EdnasEdibles

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stolichnora — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:25:14 EDT

With all this talk of pool floats, how fucking gross/funny would it be if someone brought one of these to the beach and used it as such?

stolichnora

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BAngieB — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:08:21 EDT

As you all know, I am VERY uncomfortable with the sexualization of my pretty, pretty girl. But this goes so far beyond that...I'm just, gah.
And, Dodai? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

BAngieB

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lalaland13 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:01:34 EDT

This is like the song in the Apple commercial, except way more creepy. "I"m a dead soul looking for three love holes..."

lalaland13

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goldenmonkey — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:51:47 EDT

@aubonpam: I actually thought the butt in the picture on the box looked way smaller than J-Lo's actual butt.

goldenmonkey

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AbbyNormal — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:49:53 EDT

The, er, "Lindsay" doll has "3 cylinders of love!" Real Dolls these are not-- those almost resemble human women. But I think Resusca Annie would be a sexier love doll than these.

AbbyNormal

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sybann — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:49:14 EDT

@Leiakat: guys who "use" this type of aid rarely can perform with a real woman. These are just so sad. I cannot imagine this is better than masturbating.

sybann

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bookfan — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:42:32 EDT

I sincerely hope that the only reason people would buy these things would be for gag gifts.

bookfan

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filthygorgeous — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:39:24 EDT

I can see the Lindsay one being dressed up and used in an art student's project on the media. Recreating her downward spiral and healing process. Or commenting on the objectification and cult of the female star.

filthygorgeous

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krazykarot — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:34:28 EDT

Those have to be the most hilarious least life looking things I have ever seen. If that actually gets men off I feel sorry for them. haha!

krazykarot

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PhoneticLorin — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:32:16 EDT

Can you copyright yourself?

PhoneticLorin

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Cry4Hemp — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:32:06 EDT

@blondegrlz: @leMaldeTete:

I'm going to slap a People mag on the top of mine and call him Clooney.

Cry4Hemp

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aubonpam — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:31:55 EDT

I love the way those things look out of the box compared to the photos on the box. The Jennifer Lopez butt is ridiculous.

aubonpam

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NoFrillsLabelWhore — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:26:18 EDT

@cuteasabutton:
Oh God you saw that!?!? I have only heard bits and pieces of it! The creep factor is at Defcon 1. GROSS!

NoFrillsLabelWhore

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galaxina — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:25:59 EDT

@Cry4Hemp: *snarfed coffee*

galaxina

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little stripes — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:25:40 EDT

Bahahaha. This reminds me of when I used to work at the county jail in my home town when I was 18. It was the captain's birthday, and the guys totally got a blow-up doll and put a big bow on it and put it in the captain's chair. We were all in the tower watching the cameras when he walked into his office and his reaction was priceless.

little stripes

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hatepaperdoll — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:15:10 EDT

@AndSheWas: I love how SJP has three "fabulous" love holes, whoever wrote this copy has really got the lingo down.

@poogirl:I would tune in for that episode : )

hatepaperdoll

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AndSheWas — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:14:36 EDT

@hammerimissu: I have a feeling these poor dolls help facilitate the "fun" at bachelor parties, or do well to embarass the college kid whose frat buddies are playing a prank.

AndSheWas

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Cuteasabutton — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:14:29 EDT

@stacyinbean: hahaha. JHo!

Cuteasabutton

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Hamsterpants — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:13:16 EDT

@Macloserboy: You know why I think they can get away with it? Look real close at the packages (I know, I know). They never mention any last names, and those are not the real Eva, JLo and Linds - they just kind of resemble them. The actual doll, on the other hand, looks like nothing on this earth.

Hamsterpants

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hammerimissu — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:11:00 EDT

I don't understand who buys these? Is it nerdy guys, sick guys or just the majority?

hammerimissu

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howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:10:59 EDT

To think if Spitz had just stuck to the love dolls ---

howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches)

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jewess — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:10:01 EDT

"Sarah Jessica Porkher Loves Sex In Her Shitty" Made me literally cackle for like 10 seconds.

jewess

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stacyinbean — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:09:07 EDT

@DorothyZbornak: What I don't understand is the triangle breasts... Why wouldn't you just fuck a pool float? The eyeballs on my sister's alligator float would feel WAY more like breasts than those things.

stacyinbean

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nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל] — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:09:01 EDT

oy why do women in porn have comma eyebrows? is there any intelligent explanation for this ?

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

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TruculentandUnreliable — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:08:10 EDT

@hortense: I have a feeling it's very, very vulgar.

Though we could dress her up like in Mean Girls--maybe that wouldn't be so bad?

TruculentandUnreliable

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poogirl — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:07:50 EDT

@hatepaperdoll: That should be on Ashton Kutcher's new show.

poogirl

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I.Can. Haz.Black.Editors? — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:07:47 EDT

@DorothyZbornak: I love that they come with three tender love holes.

Where are the seams on this thing? Someone's going to cut his tongue trying to lick boobs.

I.Can. Haz.Black.Editors?

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DorothyZbornak — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:06:46 EDT

@Lady Skittlehattington's Publicist: HAAA!

DorothyZbornak

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DorothyZbornak — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:06:14 EDT

@stacyinbean: I think it's hilarious that they feel the need to use the word "love." As if using the word "love" makes it less icky that you're essentially fucking a pool float.

DorothyZbornak

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stacyinbean — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:05:15 EDT

Do they have male love dolls? I'm afraid to click over...

stacyinbean

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Lady Skittlehattington — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:04:27 EDT

@hatepaperdoll: HA! You beat me to it.

Lady Skittlehattington

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Lady Skittlehattington — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:04:00 EDT

That's a JLo love doll? My GOD! I thought it was really her. The resemblance is uncanny. From the frightfully pointy boobs to the surprised expression. All I can say is well done, Pipedream. Well done.

Lady Skittlehattington

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stacyinbean — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:03:54 EDT

@DorothyZbornak: barf! what a gross phrase! I actually just have a really hard time with 'hole' unless it's preceded by ass and is in relation to someone I strongly dilike.

stacyinbean

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AndSheWas — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:02:43 EDT

I want to start writing copy for sex toy packaging. "She loves BIG." HA! Also seems incredibly easy.

AndSheWas

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BiscuitDoughJones — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:02:34 EDT

This is amazing. I want the Jessica Tandy model... WHAT?!

BiscuitDoughJones

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Scoregasm — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:02:30 EDT

@nodoubt9203 (Reefer Madness '36): Heh. Or I suppose they could be channeling the spirit of Madonna circa the Blonde Ambition tour...but I don't know too many straight guys that were into that.

Scoregasm

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stacyinbean — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:02:22 EDT

@Macloserboy: Actually, these things have been around for awhile. I remember seeing the Christina Aguilera one and the 'JHo' at least a year ago. I can't imagine how they get away with it!

stacyinbean

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cupcakesofdeath — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:02:10 EDT

@zivah: but, um, did you see the booty? spot on, if you ask me.

p.s. "sex in her shitty"...really? hahah.

cupcakesofdeath

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hatepaperdoll — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:00:27 EDT

Oh my god, is that J-Lo naked!?!
Oh, wait, it's just a blow up doll. Wow, its just so realistic.

Dress that shit up in Versace and you could totes get into the vip room at the Beatrice Inn.

hatepaperdoll

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We Don't Live in the 60s — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:59:11 EDT

Ewww.

We Don't Live in the 60s

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zivah — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:58:20 EDT

Ha! The discrepancy between the pictures on the boxes and the real thing is HILARIOUS. I wonder if some dude got totally suckered by the false advertising. "Wait, this doesn't look like JLo..."

zivah

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DorothyZbornak — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:57:46 EDT

@stacyinbean: It's a "love hole!"

DorothyZbornak

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nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל] — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:57:41 EDT

@Scoregasm: it's retro!

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

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EdnasEdibles — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:57:04 EDT

That J-Lo doll looks more like my 8th grade math teacher. She was a lovely woman, dedicated to teaching pre-algebra to a group of confused teens--that being said, I don't think that many men were clamoring to have sex with her enough to merit a mass produced inflatable doll.

EdnasEdibles

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Leiakat — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:56:44 EDT

Who looks at the blow-up doll and thinks, "Hey BABY!"

Real women aren't squeaky toys. Erm...

Leiakat

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Final — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:56:43 EDT

LOL I think I just found my nephew a prom date.

Final

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DorothyZbornak — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:56:39 EDT

"Love Holes" always makes me laugh.

DorothyZbornak

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hfree — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:56:37 EDT

I read that as "make you dude's cream come true" and it still made perfect, if kinda gross, sense.

hfree

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stacyinbean — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:55:46 EDT

They could have given the poor things a bit of modesty and added some pubic hair, wtf is with that gaping red opening on the 'JHo' doll?

stacyinbean

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BlondeGrlz — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:55:31 EDT

@Cry4Hemp: Fucking a pool float would also be cheaper, and easier to explain. Those things are damn hard to climb up on! You could just fall off over and over and over...

BlondeGrlz

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leMaldeTete — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:54:51 EDT

@Cry4Hemp: That is an excellent idea. You think NYSC will mind?

leMaldeTete

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Scoregasm — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:54:47 EDT

What's with the excessively pointy boobs? You could put an eye out with those things!

Scoregasm

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Jezebabe — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:54:12 EDT

OMG, those pictures and dolls look nothing like Christina or Eva or J. Lo...how pathetic...

Jezebabe

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nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל] — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:53:49 EDT

@Rhody: i will never understand straight guys. i'm a pervy gay guy but dolls? wtf?

nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]

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Cry4Hemp — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:53:12 EDT

Can you imagine the squeaking? It'd be like fucking a pool float.

Cry4Hemp

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Kittenish — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:53:12 EDT

YUCK! I will never understand...

Kittenish

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ineffable.me — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:52:01 EDT

Yeah, I already saw this in an episode of Futurama.

ineffable.me

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hortense — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:51:27 EDT

I know what a certain lady is getting for Christmas this year! Unless it's vulgar. Then I'll just round up all the ones I can find and burn them in protest.

hortense