I don't get it!

Ngrymthrbear

donnad

If you feel the need to fuck around on your spouse, then you probably should not be married to him or her. It's as simple as that.

whynotshesaid

Dr. Laura had an affair complete with naked internet pictures in her younger years. She is now defending Spitzer who had an affair complete with public scandal.

So 2 peas in a pod.

coffeeandbooks

Oh yes, let's convene a panel of experts for that. Let me help you: because he wants to get his nut off! Stop with all the analysis! It never ends, I hear all these people talking about how powerful people think they can get away with anything, so it's a thrill, or that it's for this psychological reason or this one -- please, he wanted to CUM WITH SOMEONE!

Stop overthinking this: people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it. Studies show (OK, I'm making that up, but it's true nonetheless) that people married 20 years only have sex on Valentine's Day, their anniversary, and their birthdays. You can hate me as the messenger, but it's true -- how can anyone be expected to still want to score with someone you've been having sex with for a score?

Mr. Spitzer simply wanted what humans desire, to feel that sensational sensation when you're hot for someone, to touch and hug and bump and grind -- this is really not that complicated! If you're ascribing more to it than that, it's probably really more about your own fear that your spouse wants to do the same thing.

Or is doing it. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do. So if you find yourself at such a place in life -- and this is most certainly wives as well -- where you're dieing like this, you can do one of three things: get divorced, cheat, or continue to live a life with little or no passion, sex, etc.
It's easy to point fingers, but how about some recognition that society's rules are so at odds with human nature that there are actually no good options for an Eliot Spitzer, and the ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE HIM, many of who are tut-tut-ing today. I guess a guy is a hero who sticks it out and leads a life of quiet desperation. I'm not so sure it's heroic to make him.

ApresSki

neitherherenorthere

itsallgoodnow

If I can't find what I need or what at Target, I'll shop at another store until I find what I need or want. And this is just a euphemism for sex, but it's true.

Some men don't like highly educated women for just that reason. They think too much and don't 'do' enough in the bedroom. And it the man is as highly sexed & charged up like Spitzer, you'd better be ready to go all the time when he needs it. He doesn't want to hear you have to put him off because Little Suzy needs help with her homework.

Look at the guys who 'always' date pink collared women because they focus on the man. Women who own businesses have to be more cautious about dating, but there too, they're dating men who are either owners in their right or younger men.

Don't be mad at Dr. Laura. Look in your own group or around you and see. Men want their wives to be their whores as well. When that dies out in favor of the children, the relationship suffers and the man starts telling the wife, 'honey, I'm working late tonight' because he knows when he gets home, he will not be number #1 and there will be no sex without negotiations.

Think about this ladies, if you're not having sex when he wants, check if verbal responses to you and you see Dr. Laura is right.

ApresSki

ElasticSyntax

GarthNimrit/Maya

stephaniebluejean

Cheating is something that selfish, weak people do. If you have an open relationship, then that's not cheating, but if you have an understanding that you are to both be monogamous, then it is NEVER okay. You know what grown-ups do when they feel lonely or needy? They keep their pants zipped long enough to go home and talk to their significant other. If you're problems are so great that you can't work through them, then divorce, but don't be a fucking coward and screw around on someone to whom you promised fidelity.

a_brown-eyed_grrl

a_brown-eyed_grrl

Lecarlso

Owlygirl

GatorGirl

ceejeemcbeegee

::handshake:: Nice to meet you. Now you know one person.

ceejeemcbeegee

ceejeemcbeegee

ceejeemcbeegee

Jesus H. Christ, what happened to self control?

No one needs strange booty, they just want it. Men are not going to die if they can't bone a strange woman's pooper. That ain't a "need", it's a desire, and nothing any dipshit tv shrink says is going to change that.

Fuck Dr. Laura.

littlebunnyfoofoo

I haven't read all the comments for all the posts yet, sorry if I am repeating what has been said, but I think his wife had to know about it. No one spends $30,000+ without the wife saying something.

millelilly

Her doctorate is in, I believe, physiology.

So she has a credential, but it has no bearing whatsoever on the sociopathological advice she dispenses in public on camera.

Plus, she is just a Queen Douchehead. Hate her SO MUCH.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

But about the B*tch Doctor I giveth not a sh*t.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

You better run before the EP of Sesam Street finds your snarky little tushie.

I've been laughing at what you've been writing since early yesterday.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

cinemaddict

To sum up: the woman is pathological. A classic example of a Queen Bee. Her fans are, too. They devoutly support her pronouncements, _except_ when she rails against something they themselves do. They, like she, always, always have a rationalization for why it was okay for them to have done it, but not okay for anyone else to do it.

TigerTail

Embea

cinemaddict

cinemaddict

Cheating is deceitful, low, disrespectful, immature, selfish, dishonest, egotistical, dangerous and affects more people then those cheating can even consider.

If you want a polyamorous relationship then find someone (or ones) who wants that also. Monogamy involved two people and ONLY TWO PEOPLE.

You want a new lover? Divorce. Will it "hurt" the children? Not as much as finding out you've been screwing around with someone else behind everyone's back.

If my friend no longer loved her husband, then a divorce would have been okay - we'd still be friends. But she decided to have a relationship with someone else while still with her husband. She destroyed their lives, the life of her lover and her friendship with me. THANK GOD, she did not have kids to destroy also. All she had to do was be honest from the start.

I hold no regard to those who have cheated. (that includes Brad Pitt and Angie - I have no nice words for them - only their kids.)

Sukie in the Graveyard

FreshTyn

erinlynne

o4ate

FUCK YOU Laura Schlessinger, FUCKYOU!

BitchIsTheNewBlack

but at the same time, i'm sure his wife must have known about it. shoot, if i was her, i'd have a few men on the side myself.

geisha1010

Both of my parents cheated on each other and though I understand how it happens, I just never wanted to put anyone else through that kind of pain. Well, that's all I've got to say.

alexsim

And on a side note, where did this Dr. Laura come from? Is she a real doctor or is she a fake doctor like that pain in the ass Dr. Phil?

mepc

If that's true, then I have a feeling that a lot of us are screwed (in a bad way)!

scarletvirtue

Evo-bio-psycho-babble
Rah-rah-rah.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

1. I remember Dr. Laura had a thing about personal responsibility and the abdication of such. It may have even been a book theme or title. Maybe it wasn't as lucrative as blaming the wimmens.

2. Hobostripper, whose blog I read regularly, talks about exactly what Dr. Laura does at the beginning of this interview, but she sees it about a billion times more clearly. She calls it the Cosmic Titty.

"I was at the laundromat with my father when he started telling me that his new girlfriend was going to leave him if he didn't give me and my sister back to our mother. He couldn't figure out what to do. What if she was his soul mate? What if she wasn't? He wanted my advice. Not as his daughter, not as the girl about to be given away. No, he wanted my advice as a woman, as a cosmic titty, as the one always in the background murmuring aw, it'll be okay, do whats right for you and it'll be perfect, whatever you do will be right because you have a penis."

lisas

stephaniebluejean

hollywoodenflames

Mystie

This is worth repeating. I wish people would actually examine why they're getting married more often (if they are taking this commitment seriously). "OMG-I'm-turning-30" or whatever is not a good reason. Have you ever witnessed a friend or acquaintance's engagement and you just KNOW they won't last for long?

Also, to repeat what others have said, kids are not stupid. If they know what's going on, and how shitty the victim feels, staying together will only make them miserable.

richcreamerybutter

MsMerlin

Arcoone

What I don't understand, though, is why these women think that spouting these things will make the men prone to women-hatred -- because men who like women aren't listening to them anyway -- hate them any less.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

angryblackgurl

then, somewhere along the line, she started on the batshit train. suddenly marriage became all about taking care of one's man (not that he has to worry about the little woman), homosexuality became an "aberration" (her words, not mine)... she became strident, cutting off her callers when they tried to explain their issues.

have you read her so-called "books"? I made the mistake of picking one up... what a load of crap. basically she transcribed calls from her show. one after another. that's her sole "insight" - regurgitating her radio show.

I slept thru Laura on Today this morning. I'm really glad I did - she would have ruined my day. I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners.

bitchyolympian

You forget. She is also her kid's Mom.

NewsBunny

When you DO make a commitment to another human being and want to get some on the side, you'd better make sure this is ok with the other one beforehand.

If you want to bring biology into the argument, how do you explain the concept of "sperm competition?" This is when the female has sex with one or more partners in a short period of time, and the supposedly healthiest sperm fights with the others to impregnate the egg first. In theory, you will have healthier offspring. In real life, most of us tend not to do this, because we are humans foremost and animals second.

richcreamerybutter

Which is perfectly acceptable if you have an emotional age of about twelve.

bun

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

I think it's unfair to tell people not to get married out of fear that the spouse will cheat. Don't drive because you might get in an accident! It's no way to live. Life is a risk and it's about choices.

BeSarcastic

cautionarywhale

mepc

PhillyLass

piphigirl

Oh, Laura. I'm so glad I've never actually come across you on the radio or teevee. You're such a sad creature.

AnnieGetYourFun

She makes me stabby.

SheLaughs

And to bring Top Gear and Doctor Who together, on the season of Top Gear we're currently getting here in the U.S., David Tennant appears as a guest. I can't wait!

Jerseylicious

Jonny Lieberman

It is therefore bothersome to hear Dr. Laura spew on about the fault of the lady, perpetuating unnecessary and bullshit ideas as to the woman's role in man-pleasing. I'm sure there are some marriages that are genuinely miserable for either party and they thereby seek gratification outside of the marriage, just as there exist perfectly fine marriages that allow for gratification outside of the marriage (or within it... swingin' hey-ooo!)

Which begs the question, why even marry, or stay married, in the miserable instances? It's true... the kids totally know what's up... and it fucks them up more in the long-term. (Well, at least me, speaking from personal experience)

But in so many situations, which was the case with my parents, the cheating and resulting destruction is not the fault of human nature, the other partner, or some huge failing in the marriage. It is simply a personal choice made for perhaps legitimate but ultimately very, very selfish reasons.

I've cheated on boyfriends, for all the WRONG reasons (meaning selfish, which I still can't quite understand, but probably ties into my father becoming a lying fuck cheater after over 25 years of marriage right around the time I started having serious boyfriends) and I'm just a regular gal (or do I have more testosterone than most women? bleh! such extrapolatative bullshit (made-up word alert!)

My father has justified his cheating in numerous ways, but most have simply blamed my mother. I'm not going to go into details, but perhaps Dr. Laura has had to justify her own moral mishaps through villification of her hubby's ex-wife. My father villified my mother (over not picking her career back up after I hit middle school)... and that's pretty much it) in order to justify his own cheating. I'm sure he's told "woe is me" stories to his long-term wenches as well as whoever the hell else he was diddling about my mom's failure at wifedom and satisfying him because she didn't go back to a career (through no fault of her own, by the way). Dr. Laura has had to villify the bad wife to deal with her own life choices.

Ultimately, when a spouse cheats, is represents an abandonment of their family. No matter how much I love my father and cherish my childhood with him, and everything he's done for me over the years, he has abandoned and detached himself from me by simply doing what he does. As much as I understand that shit happens, nothing will take away that feeling of abandonment.

I feel for his daughters.

In other news, my post just got delayed by a bunch because I finally found a shrink to help me sort through all these issues! O, the timing!

toothsome

pureblarney

As for the "cheating in a loveless marriage staying for the kids" scenario, that I agree with you on too for the most part. Obviously everyone's marriage is their own and they should be able to do what they want, but if one partner is cheating it can hurt the kids. My mother cheated on my father because he was a jerk, but stayed with him because of the money he brought into the house. My sister and I begged her to just leave him, and she wouldn't. I've always looked down on her a little bit for that, to be honest. Of course, both of my parents were also very bad at involving my sister and me in their adult relationship matters, which was just a ridiculously unfair thing to do to a twelve year old.

Ack

Dr Who is fantastique! Also, try to check out Torchwood (sister series). they are for rent at some video stores, if you don't want to invest.

SleeplessNights

(And I LOVED Helen Mirren taking a lap in the reasonably priced sedan!)

Jerseylicious

angryblackgurl

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

Xavoc

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

Cachorrox

effeteaesthete

SarahMC

Cuteasabutton

No doubt! i am going to get Dr Laura's books so that I can learn to let my man use me as a mindless receptacle for his ejaculate. Then he won't have to use a condom, because I will BECOME the condom.

SleeplessNights

angryblackgurl

People just don't talk anymore. They do not communicate. They are terrible at enforcing their personal emotional boundaries. They have been taught to view conflict as bad, and to feel shame if what they want isn't what their partner wants.

Xavoc

katekate is squared

TruculentandUnreliable

I don't pretend to know what is best for everyone, or to understand what leads them to do what they do. Sometimes one can't help having opinions, but do people need me to judge them? No. There are usually reasons, right or wrong, that bring people to act as they do. I cheated once. I wouldn't ever do it again. But I honestly was doing the best I could at the time.

ItchykooParker

Lady Skittlehattington

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

angryblackgurl

What is it about that age that made us think BS from folks like Schlessinger and Limbaugh made sense? I attribute my lack of judgement to the fact that my brain wasn't fully formed yet.

WifeMotherCrip

Xavoc

little stripes

katekate is squared

Cuteasabutton

If both partners have agreed to those terms beforehand, fine. Have at it. But usually when we say "cheating" we are talking about one person going behind another's back. Which is never cool, no matter how much one felt validated in getting some "strange," as RSR26 so eloquently called it yesterday.

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

katastic

angryblackgurl

Cuteasabutton

Xavoc

little stripes

katekate is squared

Not that there are not such people in the world, just that I choose not to associate with people that callous about their commitments.

I'm not sure an open relationship is really what is needed.I'm not sure an open relationship is really what is needed. I think what people really need to learn is how to communicate their needs effectively, and how to listen to their partner's needs effectively.

This does not mean that fighting is bad. Some people communicate better during an argument. Other people are better at rationally discussing an issue. The trick is figuring out that dynamic. Too many people are unleashed upon the world having been browbeaten into them that fighting is bad. Fighting solves nothing. Everyone needs to be happy. Me me me me me!

Fighting is great. The trick is to fight without escalating or being mean. My ex wife would lash out with something, anything, hurtful that she could come up with the moment she felt she was losing an argument. That isn't an effective argument.

The other part people have issues with is simply and humbly saying, "Yeah, I screwed up. Sorry." without excuses or justification.

Xavoc

Leiakat

galaxina

I'm a sucker for British TV too. If you get BBCA, I highly recommend watching as much of it as possible-- It's turning me into a total Anglophile, I must admit. I'm currently trying to decide which season of (the newest incarnation of) Doctor Who to get my boyfriend for our anniversary. Also on my regular TV schedule: Top Gear, Coupling, Torchwood, and Robin Hood. Ok, I'll stop now.

Jerseylicious

There are different strokes for different folks, but I reject the belief that the majority of people will cheat. It is not inevitable in all relationship.

Leiakat

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

brassinpocket

Charlotte Corday

effeteaesthete

katekate is squared

angryblackgurl

Cuteasabutton

I have no experience with paying for sex, so I don't know.

ItchykooParker

AGreenEyeDevil

I also think people get far too jealous far too quickly over stupid shit, and that doesn't help.

little stripes

BeSarcastic

katastic

?

dontbogartthewine

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

mepc

Honestly? I think most people would benefit from some form of open relationships, if they could get over the jealousy shit, though I doubt THAT will ever happen.

little stripes

Also: THINKING IS CHEATING!

buggeroff

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

Lady Skittlehattington

katekate is squared

katekate is squared

triggerhappy

BeSarcastic

mepc

I think both men and women do this, although I would agree that men seem to feel more justified in doing this, no doubt because of crap like this doctor laura person is spewing. Oh and also because of, you know, the entirety of human history which has programmed men to believe that women were second-class citizens designed to be the help-mates of men.

Anyone read A History of the Wife? I'm in the middle of it now and I swear to god, women should be paid reparations.

sassymoniker

And can anyone here honestly say that using all alternative energy sources is as good as using less? If he used less power, more of that energy could be used to heat/cool homes of families having trouble paying their heating bill. Or perhaps less energy would be required of the coal plants as the power could be used to power homes with lower energy footprints.

Xavoc

mepc

pinkyBella

mwynn13

What's hilarious is how politicians are held (or hold themselves) to such rigid moral standards, trot out their spouses and children at every opportunity to show how upright, monogamous, and heterosexual they are - and still hire hookers or screw their interns! Don't really feel sorry for them when they get busted, the hypocrites.

effeteaesthete

Xavoc

BiscuitDoughJones

mepc

This is just rampant speculation, but perhaps my mind just works a little differently. People here keep thinking difficult and strange requests means no condom. I keep thinking it meant he wanted to be dressed in a diaper, flogged until his skin was the color of Elmo, and then peed on.

Xavoc

cipsi

Also I finally saw"The Pick-up Artist" on TV last night and OMG. Why do girls fall for his crap? Even my male flatmate was like "He is gross!"

Cuteasabutton

frecklefacefreak

TruculentandUnreliable

katekate is squared

linkura