PhotoShop Of Horrors - Jezebel Comments

PhotoShop Of Horrors

lili8 — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:42:59 EDT

i'm just scared now.

lili8

PhotoShop Of Horrors

laurasaurus — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:02:19 EDT

Also, the bag is blinding and tacky and almost as big as her torso. Gah!

laurasaurus

PhotoShop Of Horrors

laurasaurus — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:01:11 EDT

Everything is bad. Do not want.

The more I look at it, the more I wonder how the photoshop editing guys thought that her waist (so narrow!)/hips (why so jutty?)/hint of bum (very bottom, where the jeans start...?)/anything about this picture was a job well done and definitely worth printing over and over again.

She looks like she's floating in space all twisted up and tense. Do not waaaant.

laurasaurus

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Lindie — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:44:55 EDT

I would love to see the "before" picture. Gut hanging out and all :P

Lindie

PhotoShop Of Horrors

redvwbug — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:36:32 EDT

Ok I just had to go to dooney.com and see how much that bag is, tah dah $500!!!!! geez.

redvwbug

PhotoShop Of Horrors

keekeed — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:15:05 EDT

I'm not sure which is more disturbing...her misshapen midsection, or the idea that someone who is already beautiful and in great shape and 19 needs aesthetic 'help' via photoshopping. Twisted world we live in, kids.

keekeed

PhotoShop Of Horrors

erinlynne — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:14:16 EDT

i'm high right now & the more i look at it the more scared i get. i officially hate hayden. she si scaring the SHIT out of me.

erinlynne

PhotoShop Of Horrors

lisas — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:05:46 EDT

@treecut: Now that you say that, I think it is her hip that is actually the normal size. It's the way they shrunk her waist down that makes the whole thing look all fucked-up-like.

lisas

PhotoShop Of Horrors

bruitdautrui — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:52:37 EDT

absolutely terrifying. i can almost see what her head looked like before they took their little cursor and dragged it, as it were, down her neck. shudder.

bruitdautrui

PhotoShop Of Horrors

ilovejohnnythunders — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:46:43 EDT

well at least her eyebrows still look like shit

ilovejohnnythunders

PhotoShop Of Horrors

treecut...will cut a beech — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:45:23 EDT

@cautionarywhale: I didn't recognize her on the Cosmo cover either. Maybe it's not Photoshop, but all the regrowing of limbs in Heroes that has permanently altered her face and body.

treecut...will cut a beech

PhotoShop Of Horrors

cautionarywhale — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:28:45 EDT

@petuniacat: True, but I don't think it even looked like her in the Candies ad. The old Jenny McCarthy one sitting on the toilet was at least recognizably Jenny McCarthy. The Hayden ad...if it hadn't said "Hayden for Candies" I wouldn't have known it was her. She's wearing so much makeup, it looks like a mask.

cautionarywhale

PhotoShop Of Horrors

blackbirdfly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:27:16 EDT

@fulanita: Does that mean "son of a bitch"? If so, my Spanish is not as rusty as I thought.

blackbirdfly

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hellodarling! — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:21:42 EDT

@tscheese: It's official, you just killed me. I have this awesome mental picture of HP walking in circles like, halp?

hellodarling!

PhotoShop Of Horrors

wilmawonker — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:21:38 EDT

if her belly button is behind the bag, that screws up her body proportions even more - since her left (our right) side is clearly much larger. Either way, post photoshop she belongs on freaks and geeks, not a magazine rack.

wilmawonker

PhotoShop Of Horrors

wilmawonker — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:20:06 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: you guys are rockin the poems. maybe this should also be a monthly suppliment like LOLVogue :)

wilmawonker

PhotoShop Of Horrors

MadameX — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:17:33 EDT

What in the world... ?

Her face is so oddly elongated and... egg shaped. She's way too cute for real to need this kind of treatment. YUCK!

MadameX

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hellodarling! — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:15:30 EDT

@meaghan2k: YOUR POEMS, THEY ARE KILLING ME WITH LAUGHTER. Seriously, I had to pull out my inhaler, damn asthma.

Also, all I can say is that I've stared at this ad every time I come across it in a magazine, and it just hurts my head now.

hellodarling!

PhotoShop Of Horrors

treecut...will cut a beech — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:15:10 EDT

@lisas: Also because of the fake extra left hip they've added, which makes it seem like the belly button should be further up.

treecut...will cut a beech

PhotoShop Of Horrors

lisas — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:05:29 EDT

I have no interest in this woman's POV on anything, including tacky cheap-looking bags that I could get at Winners for $15.

That being said, the reason you can't see her navel is because it's right behind the top of the bag. I think it's hard to tell because the wrinkles and bulges you'd expect to see on someone lying like that have been airbrushed out.

lisas

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Sassette — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:04:55 EDT

Man, the RealDoll guy is gonna charge a lot of money to repair all that mangling - the twisted pelvis, the broken neck... what? That's supposed to be a real person?

Sassette

PhotoShop Of Horrors

fulanita — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:03:39 EDT

@blackbirdfly: @cautionarywhale: and in spanish HP is short for "hijo de puta", which they probably weren't going for either.

fulanita

PhotoShop Of Horrors

briardahl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:00:41 EDT

The more I look at this, the more it looks like she's about to get it on with that bag.

briardahl

PhotoShop Of Horrors

briardahl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:00:08 EDT

@tscheese: Oh come now, pretty girls don't have clavicles and don't poop. Stop joking around. What woman would want a bag that makes it look like she has collarbones?

briardahl

PhotoShop Of Horrors

apple_giraffe — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:52:06 EDT

You could put a dildo in that bag.

apple_giraffe

PhotoShop Of Horrors

NicoleItchy — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:52:05 EDT

I saw this last night and didn't even recognize her. She's floating!!! And it's like they combined pics and made some sort of Hayden/Paris hybrid.

Also, bag is not cute.

NicoleItchy

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:42:24 EDT

@meaghan2k: It's alright. We're all just relaxed here - it's a really, you know, casualty atmosphere.

petuniacat

PhotoShop Of Horrors

meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:38:48 EDT

@hortense:
I always thought
it was weird
walking into Milo's trailer
and seeing photo stills
of me in
Joe Somebody
but it
just turns out
he's a big fan
of anything
Tim Allen does

meaghan2k

PhotoShop Of Horrors

astrozig — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:35:09 EDT

MY tits don't emanate blinding white light. Should I be concerned?

astrozig

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Political Party Girl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:34:30 EDT

@meaghan2k: @hortense: Wow, y'all topped me, big time! I shouldn't have even bothered! :)

Political Party Girl

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Dauphine — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:33:38 EDT

Her face has been moved entirely too much to the left. And it looks like she has some sort of cancerous extra hip-bit going off to mate with her arm.

Someone needs to take the "heal" brush all over this.

Dauphine

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Political Party Girl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:33:31 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: My waist is small I know...

Political Party Girl

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hortense — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:33:00 EDT

@meaghan2k:
When I wake up
I think
I am so bored
So I should
wash my face
with Neutrogena
So I will look
Flawless
on the cover of
my favorite magazine
and I'll talk
about Milo
and hope he buys the issue
Even though
It just looks creepy
when my 30 year old boyfriend
Buys Teen Vogue

hortense

PhotoShop Of Horrors

tscheese — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:30:32 EDT

Also, look at how the line of her right jaw is whittled to a straight diagonal, but it doesn't match the other side at all, even adjusting for the angle of her head.

And there are no visible clavicles here. If you were supporting yourself by an Invisible Elbow, there'd be a little "cup" formed between the top of your shoulder and where your collarbone flexes.

Also, the HP logo affixed with a twisty tie?

tscheese

PhotoShop Of Horrors

tscheese — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:24:44 EDT

@briardahl:
she would have a GIANT awesome left hip and ridiculously curvy left buttock, like she is trying to attract guys who like skinny women with her slim right leg

OMG. DUDE. I'm laughing so hard that I'm wiping away silent tears at my desk.

She is PANETIERRE-CHIMERA. One leg is thick and curvy! One leg is scrawny and gawky! She can only walk in circles!

tscheese

PhotoShop Of Horrors

meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:24:32 EDT

@meaghan2k: *pats. not pants. fuck. my poetry is all off now.

meaghan2k

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:23:55 EDT

@vivresavie17: And here I thought there was just no way VS Pink products could get anymore vomitous.

petuniacat

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:22:47 EDT

@cautionarywhale: But we expect bad taste and eyeball searing photos in Candies ads.

Also, on a very politically incorrect note, if they made that bag in silver, it would resemble dolphin skin, huh? Heh heh.

petuniacat

PhotoShop Of Horrors

vivresavie17 — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:22:01 EDT

@petuniacat: It is a trend. I've already seen some of my high school students doing it with their VS Pink bags. For the love. of. God.

vivresavie17

PhotoShop Of Horrors

GTCosita — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:21:19 EDT

And y'all are killing me with the poetry. It's da bomb, yo!

GTCosita

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Jerseylicious — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:20:34 EDT

@Jerseylicious: Clarification: In above-described Jewel video, Jewel is being hosed down by firemen while SHE is wearing a white tank top over an American flag bikini top. The way I wrote it before made it sound like the firemen were wearing white tank tops and American flag bikini tops while they hosed down Jewel. And that's an entirely different video.

Jerseylicious

PhotoShop Of Horrors

cautionarywhale — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:20:18 EDT

@blackbirdfly: When I saw the HP tag, all I could think of was HP Sauce, which is kind of the equivalent of A1 steak sauce in England. Hee. Between that, Hewlett-Packard, and Harry Potter, I'd avoid having my initials on anything if mine were HP.

Also, this ad is disconcerting, but her Candies ad was even worse. It sears the eyeballs.

cautionarywhale

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Trashtastic — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:19:58 EDT

@ThaKadinskyPapers: Whew, sista, you've been facebooking too long. And please stop slammuing me into shit! I bruise easy, yo...

Trashtastic

PhotoShop Of Horrors

GTCosita — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:19:47 EDT

@briardahl: That's what I thought too, but then you see underneath where the belly button "should" be, a belt loop, where you would expect the button and zipper to be. WTF???

GTCosita

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:19:44 EDT

@treecut: Exactly - the lower pot belly is all that shows on me when I wear a tankini, too. It bugs me to no end. One piece suits are, simply put, torturous. I go with bikinis.

petuniacat

PhotoShop Of Horrors

FATAL_BIPOLAR_HOTNESS — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:19:11 EDT

When this po thang turns 30, she'll look like 50 years...

FATAL_BIPOLAR_HOTNESS

PhotoShop Of Horrors

meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:18:50 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: I was waiting
for a love note
from Milo
telling me how pretty i am
and how no one has ever
made
him
feel this way
and how he thinks
my dolphin saving
is really cool
and then he pants me on the
head
and pushes it down
and tells me to get to work

meaghan2k

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Jerseylicious — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:17:23 EDT

From the small picture, I was getting Pam Anderson-- it was the orange skin and blonde hair thing. But looking at the larger version, it's totally Jewel-- like in that one video where Jewel got all sexed up and firemen were hosing her down while wearing a white tank top over an American flag bikini top, and then tried to play it off like the video was meant to be ironic. Either way, this picture does not look like an 18 year old girl (which miraculously, Hayden Pantierre often does).

Jerseylicious

PhotoShop Of Horrors

angryblackgurl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:15:52 EDT

Why is the tag on that bag so big?? As an offical "bagonista" that bag is UGLY!!!

angryblackgurl

PhotoShop Of Horrors

violettefay — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:15:07 EDT

it looks like one of those pictures illustrating what features women would like to have most, like Angelina's lips, Katherine Heigl's nose, whatever whatever.

I am going to be having nightmares tonight about this hot mess slinking out from under my bed and smothering me with glitter and ugly handbags. Thanks Jezebel!

PS, although I am glad I didn't get the job working for the photo retouching place, I am confident I would do a far better job than whoever did this.

violettefay

PhotoShop Of Horrors

treecut...will cut a beech — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:14:41 EDT

@meaghan2k: Those are some mad poetry skillz.

treecut...will cut a beech

PhotoShop Of Horrors

treecut...will cut a beech — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:13:46 EDT

I had never heard of Dooney and Bourke before last week, when I bought a purse at an outlet in Freeport. I have very mixed feelings about it. It is a couple toes over the line separating interesting/cool from hideous/tacky.

treecut...will cut a beech

PhotoShop Of Horrors

DuncanDesign — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:13:33 EDT

@misssgolightly: I had a choice between GlamourShots and a perm, and I ended up choosing a perm. And I remember having a hard time deciding. Feel free to mock me.

DuncanDesign

PhotoShop Of Horrors

blackbirdfly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:13:11 EDT

@tellmeagain: I don't wants a Harry Potter or Hewlett Packard bag. Or a Hayden Panettiere one, for that matter.

blackbirdfly

PhotoShop Of Horrors

BAngieB — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:13:10 EDT

Good Lord, is Dina in charge of photoshop now?

BAngieB

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Calraigh — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:12:52 EDT

@petuniacat:

Horr-ible bag.Horrific even.But whats even more horrifying is the thought that suddenly dawned on me looking at it again.Maybe this is viral futuristic advertising for what your bag can look like if it's made out of you.Look at HP and look at the bag.It's quite clear to me that they are fashioned out of the same material.

Dooney and Bourke is people!

Calraigh

PhotoShop Of Horrors

treecut...will cut a beech — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:12:10 EDT

@petuniacat: See, as someone with a longish torso (as long as a torso can be on a 5'3'' little person) I find the tankini better than a one-piece 'cause I don't get wedgies. Although I don't really get the attraction of solely exposing the lower pot belly.

treecut...will cut a beech

PhotoShop Of Horrors

tetracycloide — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:11:42 EDT

is her spine connected to her hip bones because it certainly doesn't looke like it and it's freaking me right the fuck out.

tetracycloide

PhotoShop Of Horrors

BiscuitDoughJones — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:11:26 EDT

@hortense:
This bag
has HP on it
I got confused at first
cuz I couldn't check my email
on it
computer?
it's not

BiscuitDoughJones

PhotoShop Of Horrors

meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:11:07 EDT

@hortense:
Remember when Tobias
bought diamond creme
and slathered it all over his
body
i found gold creme
and put it all over mine
running my hands over
empty space
where there should be a hole
for my belly button
that i do not have
and I yodel my shame
but I shine like a star
a pretty star
I'm a pretty pretty star
and pretty pretty stars have
ugly ugly bags
yodel.

meaghan2k

PhotoShop Of Horrors

tell Dolly Parton again — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:10:28 EDT

@blackbirdfly: See, I see "HP" and think "Harry Potter."

tell Dolly Parton again

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DuncanDesign — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:09:23 EDT

@Lindsiford!: AHAHA! Andy Rooney should have his own regular post here where he gabs about fashion, that would be hysterical.

DuncanDesign

PhotoShop Of Horrors

jakesprincess — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:08:38 EDT

What cracked me up about this ad was that in my latest Lucky mag, not more than four pages before the D&B ad she was in a Kohl's ad for Candies. The two pictures side by side are quite entertaining.

Way to hit the high and the low market, hayden!

jakesprincess

PhotoShop Of Horrors

briardahl — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:07:59 EDT

There is actually a slight shadow of implied navel, with the navel presumably hidden just behind the corner of the bag. That spot would be a legitimate site for a navel, except for the giant flare of her left hip, which (and this is why I am liking this photo) implies that she would have a GIANT awesome left hip and ridiculously curvy left buttock, like she is trying to attract guys who like skinny women with her slim right leg, and guys who like thick women with her awesome left side.

briardahl

PhotoShop Of Horrors

edgyspice — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:07:37 EDT

Well, come on, of course they have to Photoshop her. She's so OLD and WEATHERBEATEN. Fuckin' 18-year-olds, thinking they can go out in public looking like...like...themselves!

edgyspice

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:06:23 EDT

@bess marvin, girl detective: The only people I know who have them are those who are obsessed with having a bag with some recognizable brand name - even if the bag itself is completely fug.

I'd far rather pick up a decent looking bag sans fug monograms at TJ Maxx or Target.

And yeah - do people actually think that others are going to mistake their bag with interlocking DB monograms for an LV bag? Do they not realize that these particular sets of letters look nothing alike? The whole concept is stupid - as is the whole "it" bag phenomenon in general. Is there any bag that's worth $5k? Yeah, didn't think so.

petuniacat

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hello.kitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:04:40 EDT

Y'all are saying Jewel, but I'm picking up a Lisa-Kudrow-from-"Friends"-days vibe.

hello.kitty

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Lindsiford! — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:03:19 EDT

Yes but what would Andy Rooney say about this?
"All the women who work at CBS have bellybuttons! I know because I've made sure of it."

Lindsiford!

PhotoShop Of Horrors

bess marvin, girl detective — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:02:02 EDT

who buys dooney and burke? it seems so tacky to me. one of their bags blatantly ripped off the louis vuitton design.

bess marvin, girl detective

PhotoShop Of Horrors

misssgolightly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:00:54 EDT

@petuniacat: AHAHHA It's like when my mom took me to GlamourShotz with my best friends in eighth grade. I can't believe she PAID for those pictures we looked like baby prostitutes.

misssgolightly

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sybann — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:00:50 EDT

Patricia Heaton. HEEEEEE!

sybann

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brookidy — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:00:47 EDT

When a perfectly lovely 18 year old girl has to be "enhanced" to be acceptable for crap handbag ads, then I officially give up.

brookidy

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hortense — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:59:26 EDT

@meaghan2k:
This bag
has HP on it
some people will wonder
why I stole
Harry Potter's shit
and made it look
so cheap

hortense

PhotoShop Of Horrors

petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:59:12 EDT

@fulanita: This looks like it was photoshopped by a family friend. This woman took some photography class, and decided to gift my sister with "professional" photos of her children. The result is truly horrific - my six-year-old niece's lips and cheeks are bright pink, and her head was clearly pasted on from another photo at an odd angle. My one-year-old nephew's head is also pasted on, complete with thin black line around it - even worse, the head she used is too big for his body. He looks like a spitting image of Mini-Me from Austin Powers - it's downright scary.

petuniacat

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blackbirdfly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:59:11 EDT

@Seriously, its not!: I'm not familiar with the steak sauce, no.

blackbirdfly

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BiscuitDoughJones — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:58:51 EDT

@hortense: It's not a great book, but the fucking cover kills me. That simpering look on his face is the perfect answer to Jewel's poetry.

BiscuitDoughJones

PhotoShop Of Horrors

misssgolightly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:58:50 EDT

@dashenbka: Oh yes, belly chains. They were in when I was in junior high. I remember one fashionista had a sparkly pink "Baby Phat" one. She wore it with her faded stretch jeans and sparkly tank top. And hoop earrings that were so big you could fit words like "Angel" inside. Oh, and the knockoff manolo blahnik/timberland heels from steve madden.

2001, how I miss thee.

misssgolightly

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Boredinacubicle — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:57:16 EDT

Tyra would not approve!

Boredinacubicle

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lonewolfer — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:57:05 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: Hee!
@westvillagegirl: "a photoshop clusterfuck" just about sums it up.
It's.Just.So.Weird. Why would they do that? The missing navel freaks me out the most. And the reattached head.

lonewolfer

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meg9 — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:56:06 EDT

She DOES look like Glam Jewel. Who would approve a photo without a frigging bellybutton?

meg9

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frecklefacefreak — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:56:04 EDT

@Calraigh: I actually like that bag...minus the HP tag. And perhaaaaps not gold, but I still think it's cute. The rest of the ad? Not cute. Hayden seems to be pretty proud of her athletic build and this is really just a smack in her face.

frecklefacefreak

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Wicked — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:55 EDT

all the missing body parts are shoved into the hideous bag the size of Texas

Wicked

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hello.kitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:52 EDT

I had a Gumby doll once that was rubbery and bendy. I liked stretching and pulling the body, but I did this one too many times. Gumby's body never returned to his original straight shape, so his head was sliglhtly askew and one leg was longer.

hello.kitty

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hortense — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:47 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: Oh my god, why haven't I read this yet?

hortense

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BrooklynBeats — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:41 EDT

Why do they even bother using real humans anymore? They might as well just make composite drawings of generic looking, attractive human-like models and use that instead. Cheaper, faster....at least then the unattainable industry "standards" of beauty would be just that - unattainable because it wouldn't even pretend to be real.

BrooklynBeats

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somaholiday — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:27 EDT

When pretty girls go ugly- thanks photoshop.

somaholiday

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petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:14 EDT

@Sophie: Thank you for hating on the tankini. I hate them with a passion. As someone with a long torso, I have found that tankinis are the most hideous swimwear ever invented.

petuniacat

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meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:14 EDT

@hortense:
I don't have a bellybutton
A bellybutton I do not have
but I can yodel
yodel in a van
yodels in my freezer
because they're better that way

meaghan2k

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hammerimissu — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:07 EDT

Daisy from Rock of love?

hammerimissu

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westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:50 EDT

I think her bellybutton is being covered by the corner of the bag. You can JUST make out the shadow. Not that this isn't a photoshop clusterfuck.

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

PhotoShop Of Horrors

DrTurkelton — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:48 EDT

Oops didnt mean to post that twice!

DrTurkelton

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dashenbka — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:36 EDT

AAAAAAAAAH (runs away from the monitor)

but seriously -- are belly buttons out of fashion or something? I mean, a few years back you did all you could to attract attention to it: hip-slung jeans, navel piercings (still have mine) but now it's like "hide your belly buttons"

why? is it cause people are afraid of the lint?

dashenbka

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fulanita — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:23 EDT

The size/direction of the head doesn't even match with the body. Not that anything could. One of the worst photoshop massacres I've seen...

fulanita

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DrTurkelton — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:08 EDT

Is it just me or does her skin tone match the bag?
ick

DrTurkelton

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dirtyfez — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:53:55 EDT

I don't even really get the pose. She's leaning, supporting herself with her elbow even though her arm doesn't look long enough to connect to a surface, and also lifting the bag up to... what? Throw it? Use it as a tinfoil hat against the rest of the alien Photoshop invaders?

dirtyfez

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petuniacat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:53:38 EDT

I think I see a hint of the bottom part of her belly button right below the bag's strap. Now I feel sort of dirty for having spent so much time staring at her navel.

@Calraigh: Yes, fug bag - but even scarier still is the thought that tacky luggage tags like that on handbags could become a trend. In this pic it's kinda funny though because I don't give a shit about Hayden Pantyterror and immediately wondered why her bag was endorsing HP printers.

petuniacat

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TurangaLeela — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:53:35 EDT

Maybe the jutting is actually her ass? Like she's turned awkwardly at the torso?

TurangaLeela

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BiscuitDoughJones — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:53:06 EDT

@hortense: Oh god, this is reminding me of Beau Sia's 'Night Without Armor II', and it's cracking my shit up hard.
[www.amazon.com]

BiscuitDoughJones

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DrTurkelton — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:32 EDT

Is it just me or does her skin tone match the color of the bag? ick

DrTurkelton

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Rhody — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:30 EDT

This girl, she is fucked. SHE JUST TURNED 18!

Rhody

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Seriously, its not! — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:23 EDT

@blackbirdfly: not the steak sauce?

Seriously, its not!

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Seriously, its not! — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:02 EDT

Her neck is um, lacking.

Seriously, its not!

PhotoShop Of Horrors

misssgolightly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:26 EDT

Fuck you, Jezebel. I've been trying to study for my test for like two hours, but you just WONT STOP posting funny/thought provoking things. Think about others for once, will ya? Jeeze.

misssgolightly

PhotoShop Of Horrors

JustZoot — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:22 EDT

Tyra and the rest of the panel would have a field day with this one!

JustZoot

PhotoShop Of Horrors

ineffable.me — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:20 EDT

@hortense: her poetry truly truly changed my life.

ineffable.me

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hugnkiss — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:17 EDT

@littlebluebug: The only thing "Kristen Bell" about it is the hair. Otherwise, you're right -- she is looking a little "Kyle XY" in the face. Creepy. She's a pretty girl normally so I don't understand what's going on here.

hugnkiss

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Sophie — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:15 EDT

@ineffable.me: tankini...! Still laughing!

Sophie

PhotoShop Of Horrors

BiscuitDoughJones — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:10 EDT

@nadarine: Unless she cracks a smile. Jewel's crooked teeth are her Achilles Heel.

BiscuitDoughJones

PhotoShop Of Horrors

blackbirdfly — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:50:23 EDT

She looks kind of greased up too. Nasty.

Oh, and I sort of don't have a belly button.

And when I see "HP", I can only think Hewlett Packard.

blackbirdfly

PhotoShop Of Horrors

wilmawonker — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:50:23 EDT

i like how her hips jut out at a 45 degree angle from her mini-waist.

wilmawonker

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hortense — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:49:41 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: Seriously!

This is the gold bag
I bought
when I lived
in a van
a van
I lived in a van

hortense

PhotoShop Of Horrors

meaghan2k — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:49:36 EDT

The pants just don't add up to her waist...I'm so confused. It makes it seem like she's got a vagina that goes to the left to the left.

meaghan2k

PhotoShop Of Horrors

searched.and.seized — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:49:17 EDT

The insanity of her physical form is designed to distract us from the horror of that hideous bag.

searched.and.seized

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Gingerlime — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:49:07 EDT

That's not her body. It's a head strip.

Gingerlime

PhotoShop Of Horrors

LBB — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:48:48 EDT

She looks like the love child of Kristen Bell and "Kyle XY". Do not want.

LBB

PhotoShop Of Horrors

nadarine — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:57 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: that's now Jewel's second career: HP stand-in. No one will notice.

nadarine

PhotoShop Of Horrors

AthertonMerriweather — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:56 EDT

They made her eyes look in the same direction, but still cross-eyed. That takes talent.

AthertonMerriweather

PhotoShop Of Horrors

ThaKadinskyPapers — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:27 EDT

must be her new Heroes ability, to blind you with tacky bling.

ThaKadinskyPapers

PhotoShop Of Horrors

hugnkiss — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:20 EDT

She needs to start working out better contracts so she can actually approve this shit before it gets published. Her Candies ad was no better, just slightly more awkward and porn-y.

hugnkiss

PhotoShop Of Horrors

ineffable.me — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:07 EDT

@BiscuitDoughJones: who will save her soul when it comes to the flowers nah?

ineffable.me

PhotoShop Of Horrors

Calraigh — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:03 EDT

That is one horrible bag.

Calraigh

PhotoShop Of Horrors

ineffable.me — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:46:43 EDT

I saw this ad in a magazine the other day and stared at it for like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
Plus why is she wearing a Tankini top with her jeans? Did she just come from the beach?
What's going on with those hips?

ineffable.me

PhotoShop Of Horrors

BiscuitDoughJones — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:46:11 EDT

God, y'all, Jewel is SO 1995.

BiscuitDoughJones