<![CDATA[Why New York Sucks - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @missything: You're an ass.

katekate is squared

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lederhosen: i've got the spanish number: ocho siete siete, ocho cinco cinco, cuatro. cuatro. zero. ¡CINCO!

fulana.de.tal

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> god forbid the fat guy might actually be worth talking to. seriously.

I'd say if there was a blog somewhere with a "mistermeanor" feature, this post and most of the comments here would make it on there!

Gangee

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Ha ha he's a Fattypants MacGee! He's just turning to hide the triple chin!

missything

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Shoot - Fabrice likes a big ham-hock trampoline, on the real! If he was gay he'd have a line of saucepots waiting to cook his meatballs.

Fabrice Sensation

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> haha "below the belt area" how vulnerable!

hugslut

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @katekate: Sorry, where in the post is he being made fun of? I took the "seriously" part to be "because that's hiding his identity SO WELL", but perhaps I'm naive.

@miele: They sit around looking smug and unsurprised by anything.

lisas

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I would LOVE to see a lesbian version of this.

SBJ

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> It looks more like SHE is walking away from him.

missbliss

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I "dated" a rugby player briefly in my early college career and he looked about like that. Not a small guy. Soooooo charismatic though, he was a total player. So I can see it. He actually ended up cheating on me with a friend. Although he said it wasn't cheating because we weren't really dating. Oh!

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> So am I to learn from this that in order to signal to a man in a bar that I am ready to be picked up, I should roll over on my back and point my crotch at him?

Hey, thanks, Cosmo! THAT's what's missing from my game!

BadHairLife

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @rednrowdy: You should try Seattle bars. See the "hard to get pose". Seattle men strike that pose the instant they wake up in the morning, and maintain it throughout the entire day, including any time spent in public venues where people are consuming alcohol. Then, they post desperate missives on craigslist, begging for free handjobs.

AnnieGetYourFun

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Kind of looks like they were standing side by side at the bar, buying drinks, then she turns and starts squeezing behind him to walk away... Cosmo is a profound waste of paper.

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I wasn't thinking weight, I was thinking maybe he was a Gawker employee.

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @gold_gato: They've eaten bars.
They've eaten cars.

But now they only eat guitars. Get up!

@BeSarcastic: 'Cause it's not warm enough in here for 777-9311.

You think I came to fool around?
You better wake up, Stella. This is my town.

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Boys in bars boys in bars boys in bars boys in bars will hardly ever make any sense.

gold_gato

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @BAngieB: Ok, everyone that made a comment about his size, including the author of the fucking post, then. Really, genuinely sorry to everyone else.

katekate is squared

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @katekate: Do not yell at us. It's not like everyone of us said something about his weight. I didn't look closely enough to notice.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> You're all fucking hilarious. OMG HE'S A FAT GUY SO CLEARLY NO ONE FINDS HIM ATTRACTIVE OR WOULD WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM. Seriously, just fucking hilarious, y'all.

katekate is squared

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> There is nothing I detest more than body language and handwriting analysis. Who are these analysts and what do they do with themselves between magazine jobs?

miele

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Um no joking, I believe I know this dude and hopefully the "seriously" comment doesn't refer to his weight because I would hate for Jezebel to be all HYPOCRITICAL.

ArtfulSlingerBARACKED THE VOTE

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @rednrowdy: I think "New York" and "bars in New York" are already pretty much synonymous, at least for the 20-55 demographic -- which means plenty of bars where nobody particularly sucks. Unless you're picky about bad sartorial choices, I guess.

briardahl

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @tellmeagain: Thank you! Like I said earlier, this "No judging based on appearance" counts for fuck all if we only apply it to celebrities.

And for fuck's sake I HATE Cosmo...

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: I love him so much.

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: LOL!
@Sev: didn't that song make enough money for the guy to pay his bail out of prison or something?

but yes, jezebellers - new york sucks. men at new york bars suck harder.

rednrowdy

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @BAngieB: Now you're talking to me! RICK!

@hamburgerhotdog: Okay, that's the best comment of the day. Period.

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> This must have been a bridge and tunnel barspot. Because I don't know many "players" in nyc that drink Budweiser in public. And expect to get laid.

BrwnGrlWithFreckles

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> He didn't mean to be full of himself or rude, but she ain't lookin' and no other dudes, 'cause you know she loved him...

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Shoot, maybe someone on that side of him dropped their drink and the sound of shattering glass made him look over.

kellyhelene

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Sev: Please tell me you listened to 'BCO?

sybann

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Wait, are we judging this guy based on his weight? Isn't that a Jezebel no-no?

tell Dolly Parton again

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @BeSarcastic: Ni-yeee-yine! Jenny Jenny...

sybann

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: don't hate the player, hate the lame.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lisas: Yeah cuz she looks like she's looking at someone over his shoulder.

Gah, Cosmo is retarded.

zivah

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I told her "don't talk to strangers, baby don't you talk, don't talk to strangers, you know they'll only use you up".

BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> my favorite: "He's emphasizing how manly - i.e., attractive - he is."

well, naturally. because ALL women are attracted to tall, brawny, uber-masculine men. all women want the exact same thing in a man. this is why shorter, thin men never get dates, girlfriends, or marry.

noxiousbeast

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I'm so glad they explained this to me, because if I saw that last picture, I'd think she was LEAVING. Silly me.

lolly71

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: This song reminds me of the radio station I used to intern at my senior year of college. Not because I was there when it was released, no. I interned at Jamin' 92.5 in Denver and they played exactly 13 songs - none of them new - over and over and over again.

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> ...opened up her three vulnerable zones: neck, belly button and below the belt area...

omg...

so, flashing a guy my breasts doesn't indicate to him that I am interested - since they are not in a vulnerable zone?? Dammit.

Sukie in the Graveyard

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @militia: Can you imagine the casting call for that commercial:

Wanted: one Latino male for low-budget cable commercial to rap terms and conditions of internet calling plan while wearing a paper mache dragon costume. Must have mad flow, be able to hold breath underwater.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: OMG 90's dancefloor flashback! And now I will have that song stuck in my head when I am trying to sleep tonight.

Cuteasabutton...does not suffer fools gladly.

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @hamburgerhotdog: Ooh, nice one.

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Wait, so turning and facing someone now means that I am into them and have exposed my vunerable neck to them?

clevernamehere

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lederhosen: Ha ha. This has spawned another ditty for me: "8-6-7-5-3-0-9."

BeSarcastic

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I feel like every guy that hits on me when I go to bars looks like that, WITH the blurred face. Total turn off man.

kgibbs

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Maybe ...

PIC 1 = HIM: Hi! Whatcha drinking there?
PIC 2 = HER: Well I read this thing on Jezebel about collagen from turtle blood ...
PIC 3 = HIM: Hey, I think I see an old friend over there!

briardahl

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Maybe he's just a chubby guy with ADD?

funnyface

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Playing at what, exactly? Inconclusive evidence.

Sally Tomato

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> thank god cosmo is here to make sense of all of life's mysteries.

Charlotte Corday

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: "You lied to me, all those times I said that I love you"

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> today's forecast is partly cosmopolitan with a slight chance of overanalysis

PhoneticLorin

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Looks to me like she's saying "good luck getting the bartender's attention waving that Washington around, bro."

TakeBackWhatYouSaidAboutThor

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @hamburgerhotdog: HA!

You guys are killing me with this cyber mixtape of catchy-ass songs I hated the first time around.

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Doesn't Cosmo know pity when they see it?

BiscuitDoughJones

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lederhosen: dude, mine too!

ineffable.me

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Remind me not to go to any bar where my arm positions and/or "vulnerable zones" might wind up being dissected in Cosmo

briardahl

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lederhosen: yes! haha me too! i love that dragon guy that pops out of the water.

militia

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> I'm pretty sure he just farted and she's walking away while he turns away in shame. Screw these body language readers.

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Looks a little rotund to be a player

shelovesyou

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> It IS Cosmo.

crunkjuice

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: He's not a player he just crushes A LOT.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @lederhosen: HAHAHAHAH

fuck you rapping dragon!

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: LOL! Oh my god, flashback.

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> @Macloserboy: Ahaha! I used to drunkenly request that at every bar when I was an undergrad.

NoInheritance

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Are you sure they didn't mean that in an "of the players, he is by far the biggest" sort of way?

angelheadedhipster...finds your comment offenseful

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Or maybe he was turning around to get his friend's attention so he could introduce the two of them.

evier

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Either he's a player or blown away that a girl that attractive would talk to him.
He could also be looking at his friends to check out the girl he's talking to.

I'm not taking a dig at him, I'm just saying there's more to it than that.

I like to people watch and people ignore when needed.

CreoleSugar

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Uhhh does the word "jerk" ring a bell??

angryblackgurl

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Guess what's still playing over and over in my head:

"877-393-4-4-4-8!!"

lederhosen

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Looks like dude has been watching "The Pick-up Artist"

Cuteasabutton...does not suffer fools gladly.

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> "Return of the mack/return of the mack..."

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Well, he is pretty big. Maybe that's what they meant by "biggest player?"

BicSharpie

]]> <![CDATA[Why New York Sucks]]> Or, she was in the middle of turning around and none of this means anything...

lisas

]]>