<![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I think we should all be careful about marginalizing heavier people with these comments. For one, I think it's a bit hypocritical to try to refrain from criticizing the bodies of our fellow women, but sit here and regulate "fat" guys to the dustbin of "settling." I for one have had the best dates, best sex, and best relationships with guys who were on the heavier side. I understand that guys can be extremely critical of women's bodies, but I think we owe it to ourselves to be open minded about men's bodies. Actually, both sexes just need to be more open, period. Too many times I've found that my friends (female and male alike) have let opportunities for great relationships slip by because they are too scared to get outside of their comfort zone. So instead of "settling" can we call it "expanding our horizons?" Plus, I just love heavy dudes. End of story.

KobayashiMaru_

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @scribbles: YES! That's important too. Throw out the checklists and start just trying to connect with a person. And stop expecting your partner to be perfect and successful already- we're all continually trying to figure it out, and sometimes the best partner is one you can grow with. :)

JRae

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> No one likes "settling", but I don't think that's the real issue with those checklist women (who I HATE!!). I think the real issue is people being unrealistic about their partners and perceived "perfection". And trying to date perfect people when they themselves aren't perfect.

It all comes down to this- imagine your ideal, perfect partnet. Now imagine- would they want YOU? Hmmm? Really?

Everyone has issues, and you can't expect your partner to be perfect. I think a good match is someone who is approximately as fucked up as yourself. ;)

Of course I'd love a boyfriend who's a world class chef and million dollar entrepreneur. But why in the hell would someone like that want to be with me?! I'm a nerdy slob still trying to figure out how to harness her creative energy. And I get annoyed at my slobby boyfriend sometimes, but I can't expect him to do what I myself have trouble with. :P

JRae

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> And honestly, if you're finding little nitpicky reasons to break up with/not date guy after guy, that probably means you're just not in a good place for a relationship, and should probably not try to be in one for a while. Learn to be happy with yourself and you'll probably be happier with others.

scribbles

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> It's not about standards or checklists. It's about just being willing to like who you like and fuck everything else. People like Lori seem to evaluate who they date not based on how much they like that person, but on how that person looks to their friends, acquaintences, random strangers on the street. Honestly, I had some friends who used to be like that a few years back. They had checklists and only wanted to go out with guys that matched their idea of a perfect future mate. But you know what, all of them grew up and met guys who just made them happy (who gives a fuck what they look like or how much money they make) and are now just enjoying life.

scribbles

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> This is exactly what I said when reading that article.

She says something like "I started thinking I should find a man who would help me through life's ups AND downs."

Um, duh? *shakes head*

Some things you shouldn't settle about. If you don't love somebody? Don't stay. If they treat you like crap? Yes, you do deserve better.

If they hate to go out to eat but you thrive on happy hour? You can make it work. If they think your favorite movie sucks? You can deal with it.

Again, duh.

Meiran

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Well, I am totally happy with my solitude, so feel no pressure. It would take someone TOTALLY AMAZING like Colin Firth/Mr.Darcy to break me out of my singlehood, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If I'm happy now, why on earth would I want to "settle" with someone who cramps my style? That's a prescription for unhappiness. I'd be a fool to go that route. (In my 20's I thought that was the way of the world, and was never so unhappy than when I was with perfectly decent guys with whom I didn't gel.) Never again. Long live the happy single girl! Who says coupledom is in the cards for everyone? If it happens, fine, if not, that's fine too. I'm happy doing my own thing.

mynameisrio

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> There is a LOT of truth in this article. I love her definition-- "Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business." This is a very healthy way to look at marriage. More important than your feelings are his. If a man really loves you, everything else is a little easier.

bigapplemama

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: I hear you on the only child thing. I've come to a point where I realize that ,even though I love my current relationship, being alone wouldn't be too bad because I've been on my own since birth and I rather enjoyed it.

ChampagneofBeers

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I've noticed that a lot of women I know have a list of various "deal breakers" (divorced, has a child, bald, republican, short, likes golf, etc) that they use to manage expectations and weed out potential "losers" without stopping to consider why those things are actually "deal breakers." It's great to know what you want, but if you've never actually dated anyone who embodies those so-called "deal breakers" how can you be sure they're so terrible? In many cases, I think that people should be more open to experiencing life outside of their finely drawn boundaries. Moreover, dating doesn't have to be an end game. I get so annoyed with my 20-something friends who prattle on about "scary ages" and having to be married by the time they're 30.

curlysue

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Scoregasm: I know some guys like this. They think if they are nice to a woman, that woman is going to fall in love with them. I sometimes enjoy grabbing them by the nuts and proving them wrong.

I also know men who can sense a "He can breathe, he can be a father" type of woman. They tell me that they resent it. It makes them feel like an object.

Oh, and men don't like bitches anymore than women like douchebags. They will move on just like women will (if they are emotionally healthy that is)

thelushie

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: That's why I diversify my portfolio.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Masokist: Dang! I had NO idea this discussion was even taking place! I leave y'all heffas alone for a minute... thanks for the backup, doll!

@missything: Thanks for expanding my original point. The stereotype persists, yet I press on. The brothas complain, I kill them with kindness. But to be fair, I've heard the white boys complain about white women being "too independent". I think a lot of men are just whiny scared punk-ass bitches, race be damned.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Moe, no kidding, this follow up made me feel a lot better. Cuz at first I was scared that I could be Lori, but now I'm totally positive that I'm not. Thank you for clearing this up.

judgingnora

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I'm not really a musicals person, so it was only this weekend that I watched Stephen Sondheim's Company for the first time (PBS presented the recent version with Raul Esparza).

It was very good, but man, it was one sad, deeply ambivalent, and exquisitely nuanced song about marriage after another. It was first performed in 1970.

The protagonist asks some of his married friends whether they have ever regretted marrying. They reply:

You're always sorry
You're always grateful
You're always wondering what might have been
Then she walks in

And still you're sorry
And still you're grateful
And still you wonder
And still you doubt
And she goes out

Everything's different
Nothing's changed
Only maybe slightly rearranged

You're sorry-grateful
Regretful-happy
Why look for answers
Where none occur?

This was the response of characters who thought they were making good marriages at the time, not settling.

[www.lyricsdownload.com]

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @That_little_attention_whore:
Nope, not too young, old enough to have been working killer hours at the time, making large amounts of TV viewing impossible. I never watched the first two shows and SNL hasn't been good in years. I couldn't stand Chris Farley, with the notable exception of the Chippendales Dance-off.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: whoa...you had to look up Shanaynay? Are you telling me you missed out on the seminal early 90s TV viewing experience that was "Martin?" Or are you just too young to have watched it?

OMG, I was old enough to have watched Martin! And In Living Color! And Saturday Night Live when Christ Farley was still on it! Oh, my whithering ova!

That_little_attention_whore

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Kazyin:
Case in point: Recently, I started taking an evening course that is very demanding. After the class, I happen to be sitting across from a 20-something African American woman and man. Like everybody in the class who stayed late, we're all working on the homework, trying to figure it out. It involved using machines in the room. Suddenly, the woman inclines her head towards the end of the room and says that "they" were hard-working, unlike "us."

Even though I knew perfectly well what she meant, I made her come out and say that "they" were "Asians." When I said she was reinforcing stereotypes, she kept repeating that she "knew what she was saying." I replied that I understood what she was referring to, but it seemed especially inappropriate when she was in the presence of black people, including herself, who were in fact working quite hard.

It was incredibly sad. Once internalized racism gets up and running it's self-executing.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> This post nailed my feelings on Lori's "Marry Him". It's not a matter of settling for less; it's realizing that we're all human beings, imperfect and different. She may have wanted a guy whose farts smell like roses, but whose do?

Also, seems like the focus is on being married, rather than on wanting to spend your life with a particular individual. If it's about the marriage, ni man will ever live up to the fantasy.

Blucheez

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @missything: Thank you for saying "supposedly." I'm white, I'm pissed, and a lot of people know it. But hey, didn't my girl Tina Fey declare bitch the new black?

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @patrmigan: I also plan for my cats to eat my dead body. That's why I eat organic now, so Ill be ultra nourishing for them later. Its just my way of giving back.

missything

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> As for anger and black women, as a white woman I have to say the little secret - a LOT of women are angry no matter what our ethnicity ... I'll even go out on a limb and say MOST women are angry...it's just white women supposedly don't show it . Why are we angry? Well, heck, we live in this kooky little place called patriarchy. How does that anger manifest itself? By slamming other women ( Rock of Love anyone?) and calling them names like 'hos and bitches, ( which I have seen here under the guise of " affection") , taking joy in other women's downfall ( Britney..?ahem?) not to mention eating disorders, depression, addictions, verbally or physically hitting our kids etc etc etc. I could go on and on. but its not just black women, they've just been stereotyped that way. I hope this would be OBVIOUS!

missything

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Skinny Bone Jones: I don't think she means "settle." I think she means that maybe it's ok to date a guy that doesn't pass your 1000 point inspection. She's refering to the "He's great, caring, likes the same music, is kind to animals, BUT is ONLY 5'9",only makes 50k a year, and has brown eyes instead of blue! Can't date him!" women out there. We (meaning me) spend so much time decrying how unrealistic men are when it comes to dating (see- fat old bald guys who only want to date 18-year-old athletic blondes) isn't it time we start realizing women can be just as ridculous?

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> 1. Lori should marry Eric Schaeffer.
2. I ate Cheetos tonight! ( and PEEPS this past weekend eegads!)
3. Chicago has an INSANE dating pool, its the only place in the world where you meet some boring schlubby guy at a party, have a little chat as you plot to get away, then suddenly have some irate woman grab him by the arm and shoot evil dagger- eyes at you as though you'd tried to snatch her last ovum. Very disorienting.
4. I am very damn sensitive - and as a result whenever I settle for a boring job or guy, I always hate every minute of it. It feels like there's a fun party happening somewhere else and Im missing it - and guess what, it's miserable for him too. Not cool all the way around! Upside - now I have a job I love and I am superb at it. I'm excited to to meet a great guy and have a superb time with him as well. I used to feel like a loser for not having a lot of long term relationships, but then I heard a lot of "I was happy for 2 years then unhappy for 7 but scared to leave " No thanks! If more people had more courage to face the world as happy single people , maybe we could find our mates more easily and have more to offer when we got there, no matter what our age.

missything

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Kazyin: But here's the thing - once I do the "let's just be friends" thing, I actually feel better afterwards, and I feel a lot more relaxed and find myself enjoying life even more post breakup.

That_little_attention_whore

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Bellzaboo: The dating pool in Chicago definately sucks.

Jenloveshercurves

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: And some even seem proud to live up to the stereotypes (the negative ones even), both males and females. It kind of makes me sad actually.

@That_little_attention_whore: Too high standards? That I can't say for certain, but it makes me think of the TV show Seinfeld. The characters would often ruin what appeared to be a good thing for themselves, because they couldn't stand one little thing about someone.

Kazyin

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @it's the rooooo: stay away from the good fairy, or else it's hare today, and goon tomorrow. Hardy har har!

Also - I think people are having problems replying to you because of the apostrophe in your name. I went through this with my original handle.

That_little_attention_whore

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> See, it's not that I have a checklist that every dude I meet ABSOLUTELY MUST FULFILL - rather, I get put off by seemingly minuscule things, much like Mike Myers' character in "So I married an ax murderer" (she smelled like soup! she stole my cat! etc.) example: I went to a party with a guy, an otherwise normal, likeable, decent, intelligent dude, and so everyone is dancing, and he turns to me and says "I want to see you dance!" and I found that sufficiently creepy and weird that it put me off his otherwise good traits. Should I take it as a sign that my standards are too high, or that maybe I just prefer to be single?

That_little_attention_whore

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Masokist:
I'm aware of cee,etc.'s ethnicity. I don't know what you're talking about and don't appreciate your tone.

@Kazyin:
I'm not going to cut your head off. I understand the source of some of those comments. But it's amazing to me that even though I've lived among black people who all their lives have tried to deflate every ugly stereotype there seems to be a great number of black people who have internalized every aspect of racism and are proud of it.

I actually had to look up "Shanayay." That was one I hadn't heard.



Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Is this the same Lori Gottlieb who wrote Stick Figure: Diary of My Former Self? If it's the same woman, I feel a bit bad about taking her to task for this. Her self-esteem issues clearly run deep. This article is pretty telling evidence that Gottlieb still struggles to accept and value herself as she is.

KatelyAlderwood

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: Wow, that guy is taking things to a serious extreme. I hope I won't get my head cutoff here if I say that I understand and perhaps even sympathize with certain elements of his argument, but you would think that he would know better than to judge a group of people based on "race" and "sex" of all things.

Pre-judging people for any purpose could only lead down a dark road (no pun intended).

Kazyin

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> was it ani difranco who said: compromise...? you mean lowering my standards so you can meet them?

intheq

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: ceejeemcbeegee is Black. I don't really think she needs to be skooled on Blackness by you.

I ain't your... Masokist

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @kikiGee:
Enjoy the milkshake. :-)

Writing about these topics depresses the hell out of me because I have zip solutions. It seems to me that in pursuing education and professional opportunities and making themselves attractive black women are doing their part. At least all ones I know are.

Maybe it's the culture that needs the makeover.


Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: It's disheartening to think anyone has had such consistent experiences with a certain race that he feels he can sum someone up as what amounts to a cartoon character.

This has all made me very tired. I want a milkshake now.

kikiGee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @lunanoire:
Exactly, so that's why I think it's absurd to accuse single black women who are only interested in black guys "too demanding" and if they reasonably decide that there's a level below which they don't want to settle.

I'm not saying that all non-black women have great choices, but the range of choice is much broader than that for a lot of black women.

It'stheRooo (Couldn't do a reply to your comment):

I know, absolutely horrendous. Frankly, I'm always stunned when I read it and I have to remind myself that I didn't imagine the a-holery of that comment. Each time, I'm mesmerized anew by the venom.

Still, very unfortunately, I had a bolt of recogniton upon reading it. I think that comment did capture the attitude of a lot of black guys towards black women.


Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Who wants a list for love how boring. People shouldn't be encouraged to settle either. People can be perfectly happy in a relationship or by themselves. This skinny whats-her-face is clearly a philistine.

pinkerton241

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: OK, was there a reason to post this nauseating tripe up yet again? Hasn't this over-entitled, deluded, head-up-a** received sufficient national attention?

Or is this just the Idiots' Year to try their version of "Take Back The Night" and I should just hide my head in the sand until it's over?

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ilikenoise: Yes, that's true. They also won't match you with anyone of a different race, or an "younger" man if you're an "older" woman (and/or vice versa) -- even if the age difference is, like, a year.

The other thing I don't understand is, with this vaunted "psychological profile", you could, just, like, LIE, so it seems like they might have forgotten to screen for sociopaths who believe themselves above the rules.

As for Mademoiselle NotHotGottlieb, IMO she has to learn that
1) she doesn't speak for every woman in America
2) having realistic partner expectations is NOT settling
3) settling for someone who beats/ignores/repulses you to have a kid with that person is so NOT OK. Note to LG: The kid will have half that person's genes. How can some writer who can barely think critically get so much national attention???

This is one of those times when I really want to bop about 75% of my gender in the head, like Rabbit Fufu.




Rooo sez BISH PLZ

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny:
Yes, and also b/c in the US, marriage is increasingly related to economic/social status, many less educated black women are single for reasons like inequality in homicide and imprisonment rates.


lunanoire

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny:

Yes it's approx 70%= 40% never married + 30% divorced.

lunanoire

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny:
Sorry, meant to type "314."


Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @kikiGee:

There may be more out there than you might like to admit. Here's a particularly egregious example. To read the post in its entirety, click on the link and do a search for "319."

This is not about black women's self-esteem (which can be another flavor of "Go work on yourself.").

"After taking make a close observation around me five years ago, I arrived at the conclusion that I was no longer interested in black women of any type. It wasn't your typical mantra of hate and stereotypes that led me to this conclusion, but a simple desire for self-improvement and advancement within myself as an innovative and upwardly mobile Black Man. Now, Like everyone else, I barely acknowledge them, limiting communication to brief yet abrupt responses. For example, if I have to stand in line for anything, and the cashier happens to be a black woman, rest assured-I will move into the next line until I can find a white or a latina. If I can't, I place the item back and return when I can receive the services that I require.

You'll never catch me in the Bronx Grand Concourse, 125th St, Kings Plaza or Fulton St Mall…where the "Shanaynay's" run by the dozens with out of wedlock babies in tow. No longer will I tolerate the sight of seven shades of weave hair blowing in the wind, or wittness "sistas" (and I use that loosely) the size of elephants squeezed into the latest attire of "Baby Phat" who claim to just be "not fat but thick" and in the same sentence claim that universal health and fitness charts do them no justice (Ha!).

My love life since then has been a breath of fresh air, dating women who were non-black (of course) from several persuasions and enjoying life and all the pleasures it has to offer. I can now truely appreciate the beauty of a woman such as my non-black fiance (who is technically indo-european)...."

[tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com]

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Kudos, Moe. What ever happened to being humble? I guess you have to dissolve insecurities before you get to the humble center.

somaholiday

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Jose Reyes:

Unpleasant yes; generalizations, yes; true, yes.

@kikiGee:
Single men are told it's OK to be life-long adolescents; single women are told to be perfect.


Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: I know plenty of black women who aren't angry, and are quite satisfied with their lives, married or not. I'm fortunate to come from a family that has many college-educated black women. So I have a good level of self-respect and I'm not willing to compromise that. Any man who sees a black woman and thinks "she's black, she must be angry, I should stay away from her" is a sad little man. Absolutely ridiculous.

kikiGee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @alaskanbrownbear: He also gets around that by acting how she wants him to at in the end. :/

cde

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> OK, re-reading the article, I have realised something- I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE- but thats not the worst thing right? If I work hard and enjoy my life? I am good person, I think, just really shit at relationships.

ilikenoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> i'm not one to settle. i call it "holding out," and i'm glad i did, because my boyfriend is the love of my life and the most considerate, sweet, attractive, funny guy i could hope for. oh yeah, and he's my best friend, too.

bananaballs

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: Thanks for the clarification. I'm college educated and it makes me sad that a man (black or not) would either not take me seriously or be intimidated by that. I just see it as them doing me a favor by eliminating themselves before I have to.

The approach to the whole topic of why women are alone is off putting. It's always assumed that the woman needs to do the changing, and that men are as-is.

kikiGee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: wow.. talk about generalizations

Jose Reyes

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> It seems to me, having been both married and single, that long-lasting love is just a crap-shoot. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Here in NYC, I've dated a whole range of guys, and you know what? In every ethnicity, educational class, or background you can find either a nice guy or an asshole. On good days, I shrug it off as a quirk of fate to being single now. On bad days, yeah, sure, I question myself, but I've also paid my dues by being with guys who had serious problems (like addictions and free hands) and in comparison to THAT, I usually find myself back to feeling blessed that I have peace in my life.

People will always feel the need to speculate on other people's lives, can't stop that, it's human nature.

brassinpocket

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ceejeemcbeegee:
To the extent the stereotype is true, there are extremely valid reasons why black women are angry. They get all of the burdens of being a woman in this culture with few of the benefits.

It's like the "criticism" that black women are "independent".
Well, they'd damned well better be. Nearly half of them are single and most of them are not financially well off.



Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Isn't it the usual case that by time a woman with impossible expectations comes close to finding her perfect man he ends up dating 'n' shagging ladies half her age?

Cam/ron

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TheGintheCity: Los Angeles is like that too... complicated by the narcissistic personalities of all the Hollywood wannabees we have out here.

Where are all you ladies finding the flea market shoppers? Because I LOVE that shit, and most guys I've met are all "It involves shopping? DO NOT WANT!"

LBB

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @bowlingfordollars: Oh, God, I'm not alone. I recommend the warehouse stores. I have found the 42 oz bags at BJ's, a northeastern warehouse chain. Also being given as a free bonus there: the reason I can't lose the rest of my baby weight.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Damn. Late again. Well, I agree with this, to the extent that there is a threshold beneath which you are allowed by any standards not to stoop. But I definitely think that the women who are identifying themselves by this bitch's standards and refusing to settle are not nearly as awesome as they think they are, and put far too much stock in their own arbitrary ideals, and even if they find the perfect dude, will find a way to be unhappy. Did not one pay attention when Charlotte landed Kyle MacLachlan? Or when Anne of Green Gables couldn't (SPOILER ALERT!) bring herself to marry Royal the Overgrown Man-Boy of Redmond College? Not a new personality type, people.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @lalaland13: Aha, a fellow Quirkyalone! This is my philosophy for friendships as well as dating -- what I lack in quantity I make up for in quality. :)

LBB

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Scoregasm: My guy friends are always bitching about "angry black women". So I try to fight that stereotype with a smile.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @cipsi: Yeah, my alcoholic father was a WI boy. No thanks!

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @kikiGee:
No. I wondered if I should clarify that. I was talking about well educated, professional black women who were open to dating all kinds of men. The complaint usually was that they didn't feel they were taken seriously by any group of men, including black men. I don't think it's pickiness or snobbery for a woman to want to marry someone with an equivalent education and similar values; especially a black woman, who knows her kids are going to have a much tougher climb in life.

As for black women who would date only black men; it's ridiculous to blame them for refusing to "settle" when you consider that black women tend to be much better educated than black men. The reasons are complex, but that's the current reality. Once you skim off the "cream" of black men, many of whom do not marry black women, there isn't much out there.

I haven't read the article; I assume the author doesn't address the different situation of black women. I get tired of reading articles where the blame is put on the woman instead of the man and society.


Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @rubalicious: Get yourself a Wisconsin boy - worked for me.

cipsi

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Re: lists of desirable traits in men. Love that scene in Groundhog day where she is telling Bill Murray about her perfect man. His response to kind, generous, thoughtful, sincere, etc. - - "We are talking about a man, right?"

alaskanbrownbear

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Brigit: HOTTT

J.D.Regent

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @J.D.Regent: Holy fuck we're twins!! But my hubby is no cook :( However, he does roll killer joints and speaks scientific jargon *drools*)

Brigit

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: Do we have the same friend? I have two friends who are like that about the ring. Of course they are both completely spoiled and spent time in all girls' schools.
Lori's (many) problems seem to revolve around actually reading advice books and taking them as a road map for life. 90% of advice books are bunk and are only out there to make you feel better.
Also, even though she advocates that us single and childless gals settle for the first man that would good father material and provide as with precious semen and money she still refuses to settle citing the need to find a good father figure for her son as an excuse. What a loon.

Erie

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> UM, I haven't finished scanning all the comments yet, but I feel as though I must say this PSA ASAP:

Ladies, a yeast infection should NOT, I repeat, NOT stink. If you have a stinky odor, it is most likely not (just) a yeast infection. Stink=bacterial infection (aka vaginosis).

Go to the GYN and get Antibiotics if you have an odor. Monistat will not cure it, and could actually make it worse! (No yeast to offset rampant bacteria population).

/lecture

westvillagegirl (exhiled in chicago)

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: This is of black women who date black men only?

kikiGee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @DEARBLONDDIARY: oh no not at all. i don't mean that kind of worship. i just mean don't criticize me, support me, think i'm the best, etc. bc in past stupid relationships i'd be like oh it's so challenging and interesting how you subtly undermine me. but then i got over that and am much happier being genuinely accepted, you know. everybody loves the chase, girl, no need for therapy there.

J.D.Regent

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @DEARBLONDDIARY: No, it's probably healthy. Because most of those dudes are into the idea of a girlfriend but not the actual feed, care and having of one. Plus, it takes away a bit of the mystery and fun of getting to know someone.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @titania1285: Yeah, really! I don't worry a lot about whether my boy "isn't good enough for me" - I'm often told he isn't - if I love him and I'm happy with him, why move on in hopes of someone taller who reads more and talks about deep philosophical things and all of those things that existed on my theoretical list? All those too-picky standards went right out the fucking window when I met someone I could love.

jammiriffic

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Delilah Squid: YES! same here. Even though I got the"if you date that guy no one will ever want to date you again" comment from one of my (former) bffs. Then she bitched when I didn't invite her to the wedding- sorry, no cake for bitches.
@DontFearTheReefer: Dude, my sis is a gorgeous, social, intelligent, 20yo. chick and she hasn't had a serious boyfriend. ever. That said, she has a very good bullshit detector, and everytime she stopped dating some guy he proved himself a douchebag afterwards. Maybe you guys are lucky enough to have a better "spider-sense" than some chicks.

Brigit

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @J.D.Regent: Re: "why doesn't she just make a lot of money herself and date hot guys instead?" See? I think this is where I have the advantage growing up poor. To me, almost everybody is rich! But she grew up going to private schools, driving European import cars, etc. So she's become accustomed to spending other people's money.

I was just looking for a college graduate who was socially liberal, had a good sense of humor, and was able to hold down a job. And my fiance had all that, plus family money (that I didn't know about until later). Realism FTW!

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @J.D.Regent: I can't get into the guys who worship me thing. Huge turn-off. I've had a few guys be SO into me right off the bat, and I'm like, "you don't even know me, why do you think I'm so awesome? You seem weird." and then i run away. Is this wrong. uh oh, please don't say i need therapy.

Dear Blond Diary...

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I saw Lori on the Today show with this BS-- I have 3 things to say to her:
1) Hey bitter-- maybe you shouldn't have relied so much on that book , "The Rules."

2) WTF is wrong with you? It's OK for guys not to settle because according to you they can get that kind of companionship from their friends. In other words, women aren't really happy by themselves until they have been validated by their partner???

3)You may want to consider that you didn't actually have a choice in regards to never getting married, he or actually they, just weren't that into you.

Sounds like Lori's last ditch effort to find a man-- maybe that knight will ride up after reading her crap and prove to her she's all wrong after all.

Goodluck!

HoldenCaulfieldsSister

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I'm in that group whose requirements are basic (job, car, does not live with mommy, cleans self regularly, etc), but cannot for the life of me find a man in his 30s who doesn't seem to be totally emotionally damaged and/or bitter about his failed life. After 10 months of singledom, I'm ready to date again but look around and find nothing but sad man-children! Is it just this generation of men or what?

kikiGee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: Yeah, dating and I are not friends. Sure I like free dinners and drinks but it's not worth the bad conversation and awkwardness. If I want that I'll watch some reality programming on teh VH1 and at least be able to change the damn channel when I get bored. He may appear someday but if not at least I'll have my sanity!

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I don't think this applies to black women, who, last I heard, had one of the, if not the highest singleton rate in the U.S.(40-plus %, compared to something like 16% for white women).

Most of the unmarried black women I know aren't too picky. There just isn't a whole lot to pick from.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @HoneyLush: I bank Cadbury Mini Eggs for year-round consumption. I have already started hoarding bags like Delta Burke.

BowlingForDollars

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Sometimes I see duder out in New Orleans and every time I see him he's introducing a different chick as his latest "fiance". I'm almost positive that the only reason he talks to me is out of the presumption that I'm immediately going call you and make you wail about how you gave up on him. His rotating door of "fiances" is just hilarious to me, though.

TeenageGangDeb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: YES! my man is a huge flea market shopper.

J.D.Regent

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @lalaland13: My negative thoughts usually include references to lots of cats and Chinese babies, although my fears of becoming like that woman on Nip/Tuck who melded with her sofa might mean a BMI too high to be granted Chinese babies.

Count me for the "not settling" side. I've watched my still together and miserable but too old to leave parents for too long to want that. I don't have a list for what makes the right guy, I'll know it when I see it. I guess that makes Mr Right like porn.

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @City_Dater: smacked the nail on the head.

nyobserver

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: Lol, i was joking...too bad it turned out right. Yeah, sounds like your friend is setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointments...sorry bout that.

bluebuilder

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Um, lower my expectation of how HOT a guy I can get, or of how GREAT a guy I can get? If he's fat, I'll consider it, but if he's a selfish immature douchebag, I'll just keep hanging out by myself, kay?

Dear Blond Diary...

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @bowlingfordollars: My list is similar to that, but add "clever" near the top. And yes, I am going to have to settle for a lot less. State of me I guess I should be grateful for "human".

@BiscuitDoughJones: @pepelicious: That makes me so angry. I hope no Jezebels are using them and supporting their evil ways. I thought it was an ordinary dating service like match.com, but obvs not. Seriously how can they get away with that?

ilikenoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Purely on the basis of the LA Times piece, I would rather date Megan Daum than settle for any of the sad sacks I've met in the past year. Yea for us ladies who aren't defining ourselves by our relationships!

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Someone needs to write a dating article "Treat sexual partners as friends rather than commodities."
It wouldn't so much be an article as that headline. People annoy me.

birdywaa

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @hamburgerhotdog: Hee! I AM the catch of a lifetime! (that's just what I start to tell myself after a 6-month dry spell).
If Heidi don't want 'em, neither do I!

TheGintheCity

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Scoregasm: "Primed that pump" is easily the greatest thing I've heard all day today, Thank you.

bourgeoisie

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ilikenoise: In the lovely USA, "sexual orientation" is not protected like race, religion and gender.
Even if it was, EHarmony is private and would not have to offer those services.
Sucks.



BAngieB

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @esmemurphy: chemistry is def the start of any decent relationship.

I didn't lower my standards, but had lots of chemistry with people I couldn't be in relationships with (married, not gay, etc.). Held out. Finally hit the jackpot. Who knew. She's not perfect. Neither am I. But she's pretty damn close. And hawt to top it off.

Me? I'd much rather be single then settle.

nyobserver

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @blondegrlz: lol enjoy! I'm not going to lie, I live for Easter time and Cadbury Creme Eggs. They are my life force.

HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: Hey, that's me! Except I have yet to find the right guy for me. I do know that the guys who have liked me were not good for me and I don't regret not saying "yes!" My standards aren't high but I am of the opinion that I can do better than my previous suitors.

All I want is a humorous guy who is stable and who I find attractive. I'm not looking for Patrick Dempsey or George Clooney. I'd take Seth Rogen in a heartbeat.

Varina

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @rubalicious:

I think my standards lately have been, "Do I want to fuck him on a regular basis without the help of alcohol or drugs?"

This is why I'm headed back to the small-town farmland. Er, one of the reasons why, I mean...

Bellzaboo

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Did anybody see the skit on SNL this week with the Plainview character whipping out a giant straw and drinking somebody's milkshake? I was in hysterics.

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> "At best she would have had a kid with one of those perfectly agreeable guys who is beloved by everyone except his wife, spent three years alternating between barely disguising her contempt for him and cooing unconvincingly over how great he is to all her friends, only to cheat on him the moment she'd lost the baby weight. But no sooner!"

Damn. I DO know this woman. A couple of versions of her.

flackette is frustrated

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @hamburgerhotdog: Not Gin of course. I mean the vast majority of crappy toxic NY bachelors.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: no. really? she is gonna be hella unhappy once that wedding is over. why doesn't she just make a lot of money herself and date hot guys instead? that's what i'd do if i cared about money and hotness. instead i care about having someone worship me and have the right politics and be a good dad someday so poor and short and horrible teeth is what i gots. and i am not settling in the slightest, i feel like the luckiest person ever because he cooks me gourmet meals every night and rolls the tightest joints and takes good care of our kitties. for uptight chicks i recommend dating cooks; then you associate him with pleasure and fulfillment and you'll never go back.

J.D.Regent

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: OMG! Dumping Craig's shit on his folks' lawn was a laugh riot. And I had to pretend to be upset the whole time, when inside I was cracking the fuck up. Too bad you weren't around for the REALLY douchey shit Mike did. I mean, asshole that he could be around my friends, he was worse in private. But also hysterical.
@ilikenoise: eHarmony doesn't do interracial mating, either. It's matching system is based on Christan marriage counselling, so no 'Ebony and Ivory' going on there.

BiscuitDoughJones

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TheGintheCity: Yes, of course! And why wouldn't she -- you crazy, somewhat attractive balding and paunchy mid-thirties cube monkey. You are a catch of a lifetime!

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Ptarmigan: this is my worst fear and sadly i'm well on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady already. the sick thing is i'm only 20.

DontFearTheReefer

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> "Your milkshake might bring all the boys to the yard, but your yeast infection still stinks."

Most hilarious sentence in the Universe, by far.

And I'm with my big furry bear man-friend definitely not because I've settled, but because he's the most sexy, funny, considerate, supportive, reliable and genuine guy I've ever met.

Delilah Squid

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I refuse to lower my standards, which for the most part are:

Kind
Hilarious
Heart of gold
Ambitious, but not scarily so
Somewhat Social (just needs to be able to get along with others, no serial killer withdrawn types please)
Can pay their own bills
Cute wouldn't hurt

So yeah, um, I'll probably have to settle.







BowlingForDollars

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: That's the kinda shit that annoys me. People told me my standards were too high because I wanted a guy who was into flea markets and the same movies/music/books I'm into (I heard a lot of "dude, only GAY GUYS like the stuff you like," but HA! Proved dem wrong!). But srsly -- is that really so much to expect?! When you find these women who are like "He must make 6 figures and be able to give me a credit card just for shoes and be a member of such-and-such club and own property in this neighborhood AND be good-looking AND dreamy/studly AND respect who I am AND all the other good-guy qualities I want" it's like, "WHOA." Just go for a dude you have stuff in common with! Even THEN it gets hard but man, that's SO much more fulfilling and easier to find!

TeenageGangDeb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> And also, I cried while reading this article. But a week later, I felt a lot better. And damned if I didn't go out and meet someone (who might be a jerk, but at least its something to get me motivated to date again)

TheGintheCity

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: Hey, that's me! Except I have yet to find the right guy for me. I do know that the guys who have liked me were not good for me and I don't regret not saying "yes!" My standards aren't high but I am of the opinion that I can do better than my previous suitors.

Varina

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @bluebuilder: Um. Wow. You know this friend? She has a badge proclaiming herself a member of "Feminist Majority." She dated a guy from a super liberal family, and he dropped her like a hot potato. Is it my place to say, "You really need to stop talking like a spoiled brat?" Maybe I'm wrong, but the only guys who get turned on by expensive demands are probably dicks.

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @gra: omg. how do you not weigh 300 pounds?? i am addicted to vanilla milkshakes and have one at least once a week. the only reason i don't have one every day is that mcdonalds is not in my house.

DontFearTheReefer

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @esmemurphy: I must also add when I say "must not be gay" that I am straight. Ahem. Otherwise it might say "must not be not gay." Or something.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @rubalicious: Yes, New York exactly like that, too. These guys see so many beautiful, interesting women every day... god forbid they should choose to settle down with one. Because you know, tomorrow Heidi Klum might want to date them.

TheGintheCity

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Ptarmigan: At least you can be sure you'll die surrounded by furry fuzzies that love you, and you'll have a super eco-friendly send-off. Still better than settling :)

Brigit

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Jose Reyes: How hot does she think she is? Or how hot does the rest of the world perceive her?

I've always thought she was pretty, but my boyfriend and his friends disagree.

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Amen MEGHAN DAUM! Right fucking on.

missmade

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @stacyinbean: Yeah, don't listen to the "lower your standards" advice, however well-meaning it may be. Dating works differently for everyone. I don't like spending potench Me Time with dudes I'm not that into. And I hate the whole "it's the end of the date and now I have to SHOOT YOU DOWN" feeling!

I met my boyf through friends. It just so happened that some of our friends realized we'd be awesome for each other so they set us up. Those friends were right. But you know, we probs would have gotten together eventually, anyway.

TeenageGangDeb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @hamburgerhotdog: Understood, because I was just thinking about this again and realized I *did* have a list of sorts. It's just that mine included things like the aforementioned "must not be practicing addict" and "must not be gay" etc. You get the idea. The things you are describing are sort of things that make a man attractive, not the type of things I would think of as checklist. When I think checklist, I think "must make more than $250k a year" and superficial stuff like that. But maybe I'm wrong about that.

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> The longer you read this article, the less interesting it gets. Was it necessary to devote 2+ paragraphs to the tv show FRIENDS?

I can't critique the rest, bc I decided I'd rather water my boss's plant than continue to read it.

jessicamcb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ilikenoise: That's the story. From what I hear they just don't seem to find you any matches if you're gay or non-christian and hope you shrug your shoulders and go somewhere else to spread your demon seed. I listened to an interview on NPR with their founder. He made it pretty clear that they will continue that policy. I can imagine the pool is pretty homogenized by now anyways such that you probably woudn't find many gays or pagans anyhow.

pepelicious

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: LOL, I bet she considers herself a feminist too.

bluebuilder

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: THAT'S A CHICAGO COUPLE!

rubalicious

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: Everyone Loves Raymond Syndrome.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Gumbina80: how hot is she?

Jose Reyes

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @HeatherNumber1: off topic but I get so incensed with every TV commercial I see where the husband is some balding, overweight guy and his wife is slim and trim with a young face - um, WHAT?!

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> i think it's interesting that nobody has brought up how lesbians factor into this theory.

lauralk3

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Didn't you write a little while back about a story in a British paper about a reporter who met guys who fulfilled her "checklist", then it turned out she didn't like them?

Ladies, which shall it be?

BOO_BOO_HOFF

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> My friend insists that she will only marry a guy who can buy her a $25,000 engagement ring, and fund a $100k wedding.

Shocker: Not too many men are willing to start dating her.

Maybe she thinks her expectations are reasonable, but I'm pretty sure it's a flashing red light to men that says "AVOID!"

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Bellzaboo: The dating pool in Chicago is exceptionally stupid and the sense of entitlement is off the charts. I don't know what the hell is wrong with men here, but they are a disgrace. They have no sense of reality. They need to hold a mirror up to themselves before they pass judgment on the women.
I have to hold the women here at fault though, because many do go out of their way to meet the (fat, stupid, drunk) men's expectations. They are actually all starting to look the same: TACKY.
I miss small town America, with it's sweet, sexy farm boys.

rubalicious

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @HeatherNumber1: Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich -- nuff said.

Lol.

bluebuilder

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @lalaland13: I joke with my friends that I am going to die alone with 40 cats, and when I die no one will find me for weeks and my 40 cats will probably eat my dead body. Even though I joke about it, I really don't think it's far from the truth.

Ptarmigan

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Ptarmigan: oy! Both me the hubs plan on becoming old cat ppl.

Brigit

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Ptarmigan:
yep. thats the way to think


Jose Reyes

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I have the simplest of checklists: Single Straight Mammal With Day Job (Who Doesn't Beat On Me). And I am willing to compromise on the mammal part (amphibians and invertebrates may apply). However I still have no luck, though that may be because I am lazy.

dutifuldaughter

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> "Your milkshake might bring all the boys to the yard, but your yeast infection still stinks."

Ha ha ha! Gyno humor!

Yeah, women like this suck. But as for dating fat men... How about we all take a walk and count the couples we see where the man is significantly heavier and/or less attractive than the woman, and vice versa. Right.

HeatherNumber1

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @esmemurphy: I will admit that I do, but it's more like "traits I want in a future mate" because I was giving some real losers a foot in the door and needed to raise my standards a few notches. None of them are set in stone, but it's mostly stuff like wanting someone who is thoughful, kind to his family, ambitious, etc...

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> This reminds me very much of an (ex) friend.

"Well I want him, confident but not like, too cocky. And really hot and muscular and stylish but not vain. And he has to dress well but not TOO well. And he has to be nice, but not too nice cause I like when they're a little dickish."

Yeah, everyone has those "dream guy" things when they're in high school, but once you get in the real world you learn to compromise.

misssgolightly

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @TeenageGangDeb: Yay! You are giving me hope. My roommates go on all these awful dates with these men that are kind of obviously a waste of time and I just sit home and laugh. They say I'll never find anyone, but I like my way better and now I have internets validation!

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @HoneyLush: Stooooooooop it! I'm starving and the whole wheat pita I just ate is < Cadbury. I have a candy for every holiday and I already finished all my Valentine hearts. Creme eggs here I come!

BlondeGrlz

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I think that Lori should try to get on that TV show "The Millionaire Matchmaker" where random women try to snag millionaire men. i mean, if Lori doesn't care about love, and just wants someone to finance her baby habit and do other mundane baby-related things with her, why not? It would solve all her problems. Someone should write to her before it's too late.

Yaneh

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Why should I commence dating fat guys when most fat guys won't consider dating fat girls?

Anyway, I'm Quirkyalone. And I'm not going to settle. I may not have relationships but at least I don't have shitty relationships. Which I believe is the basis for much of the Quirkyalone manifesto.

That is me feeling positive. My negative feelingness goes something like "Shit I'm gonna die alone because all men are douches."

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Jose Reyes: Yes, like date the plumber instead of the electrician. I see what you mean.

Ptarmigan

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I feel sorry for people who get settled for. nothing like being fooled and having your time wasted, time when they might've found someone who thought they were the tops.

satori

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @Scoithniamh: I'm going to Wendy's for a Frosty Right. Now.

AlmostZooey

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Who actually uses a "dating checklist?" I've never known anyone who does. I guess girls like that aren't usually the type I get along with. Isn't kind of about having chemistry with someone? Either you have it or don't? My rule of thumb was always that there had to be chemistry for there to be any sort of dating situation. Simple enough, and worked for me. Also, no practicing alcoholics (learned that one the hard way) or drug addicts (yup, learned that one the hard way, too).

esmemurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: An American friends of mine told me that eHarmony won't allow gay people to use their services. Is that true? I am pretty sure that that would be illegal over here.

ilikenoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I prefer a good milkshake to a mediocre man.

Gingerlime

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Hahaha. Seriously though, where would we be without jokes about how much some of those guys sucked? Remember when we dumped Craig's shit off at his dad's carport? Good times, good times. And it's not like I never got played by idiots I had a crush on (for reasons that completely escape me now, of course). There is defs. something to be said for the learning value of Experiences With Shitty Dudes.

TeenageGangDeb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> women shouldnt have to settle. just be more realistic with your expectations.

Jose Reyes

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I know a woman who rates herself on the grade scale and then dates accordingly--will only go out with same or higher. She thinks she's an A-/B+, but don't we all evalutate our self worth and attractiveness higher than what others would grade us?

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ceejeemcbeegee: No kidding. I know a couple girls who think that it is leading a guy on to show basic human civility to them. If I thank a guy for opening a door for me, I doubt he thinks "Well, I've primed that pump; I bet she's ready to have my babies now!"

Scoregasm

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers:

Serially!

thefemininemistake

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> It reminds me of that Mad Tv sketch, Lowered Expectations.

Oh, and btw Lori, I would rather die a shriveled old cat lady than settle.

Ptarmigan

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @blondegrlz:
speaking of cravings, I'm having an affair with a Cadbury Creme egg right now. delicious. now all I need are some Doritos and to alcohol to help me lower my standards


HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Women with those faces that freeze or scowl or go blank when they sense the approach of a Dude Who Is Beneath Them.

I know a chick who does this and it annoys the shit out of me. She tells me that I'm single because I am kind to any guy who approaches me, that men like bitches and that's why she always has a boyfriend. I agree, "You are a bitch, and that's why they keep leaving your ass!"

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> You know what, dating checklists are usually bad things. It is fine to have one that says "I won't date anyone who isn't gainfully employed, doesn't treat people with respect, or doesn't shower. But anyone who has one that goes into things like whether or not they play WoW, watch Sex in the City, or a receeding hairline is getting too caught up in the fantasy of a perfect soul mate.

Lori was one of those women, but now she feels worthless without a man in her life so she's willing to take anyone. Wifebeaters, alcoholics, the unwashed, come on over! That's her choice, but she needs to stop pretending that she knows what every other woman in the planet wants, particularly when she though a baby would make her happy, now its a husband and once she gets that husband it will be a house in the Hamptons that stops her from being happy.

clevernamehere

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! I DRINK IT UP!!!

Sorry, been dying to say that...

Personally, I know Mr Right is not going to be perfect, just perfect for me. I can quite happily settle for that.

CatsOnAcid

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> @hamburgerhotdog:
Agree. It sounds like the difference between "high expectations" and "unrealistic expectations". Everyone should have high expectations when it comes to friends or boyfriends but unrealistic expectations are a recipe for misery.


EdnasEdibles

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Maybe women should be encouraged not to lower, but to change their standards. Chicks who feel they have to snag a rich guy should probably be encouraged to snag a guy who, you know, can make them laugh or something instead.

All I know is: I'd rather be single than stuck in an unfulfilling commitment to a guy I don't really dig.

TeenageGangDeb

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> I stay as far away from that type of women as possible. Bad vibes are not welcome.

Brigit

]]> <![CDATA[Lower Your Standards, Bitch]]> Some of my standards I can bend on, but others....hell no. I have before and found that if I bend those standards then it stinks and will never work out. I mean standards like - be gainfully employed and showers on a regular basis.

Captain_Morgan

]]>