<![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I feel ill. I remember seeing birth videos in middle school. We were all traumatized.
And then urinary incontinence, it's a big problem.

Rbkah

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @lacomtesse, I agree with you it IS natural but we still haven't finished evolving to have children as easily as other animals. And women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and dying for thousands more. It used to be quite normal to have had like 10 pregnancies and four children. Sure, modern science has come along and we don't have fever, infections and all that (frankly I don't want my parts sliced), but boy I wish I could pop the kid out as easily as my cat. Hours and hours of birth is not normal in the animal kingdom. I'm inclined towards c-sections and the irony is I'm a biologist's daughter, and refuse to do it naturally.

Rbkah

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @mepo: Do you not realize how offensive that statement was? Or how uninformed? God forbid you do some research before making birth choices. I am absolutely for your right to have a C if you want to, but doing it to avoid a "floppy vag" is moronic and not based on fact.

boingo82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @lola82: I totally agree.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @silverbat: Everyone has fears of giving birth - you do know you deliver a baby out of your vagina, right. I think a woman still has the right to give birth whatever way she chooses depite whatever fears or worries she may have, because fear in natural.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I am most likey going to have an elective C-section. I am pro-choice and it pisses me off when the whole 'too-posh' thing is brought up. At the end of the day it's a woman's choice and no one especially a fellow woman has the right to criticise anyone for their reproductive decisions. And I'd rather have a scar than a floppy vag.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I have about a hundred reasons for not wanting children. This is right up at number one. I am genuinely tokophobic, I cannot imagine anything scarier than vaginal birth. If I actually got pregnant by accident and was too far along to terminate before I realised, I would literally rather commit suicide than continue with the pregnancy. I still can't get my head around the fact that there are people who do this on purpose.

Anointynointy

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> If you are too afraid to give birth, then you shouldn't be pregnant. Period. The world is too full anyway.

Try adopting. there are plenty of people that weren't afraid to pop a kid out and abandon it.

silverbat

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: How...did you even find that out? Forgive me if this sounds flip, but that sounds like either the most painful or weirdest conversation with your doctor EVER. Do you have double periods? My one batch of uterine lining is enough, I can't imagine double...
Okay, sorry, I will stop being the rude, gawky girl now.

syneblue

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> 'Natural' or not, the idea of something huge and alive coming out of my VV freaks me the eff out! Maybe I'm acculturated by all the presure to look good / be tight, whatever... but it's my truth. Nor do I have any desire to deal with what comes after it's out!

sparklytoesfairydustbutt

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @RainbowBrite: not. true. at. all.
The United States has one of the highest maternal AND infant mortality rates of all developed nations- and I'm talking about RIGHT NOW- not hundreds of years ago.
This is because medical intervention is now a matter of course, even though the process taking place is as old as nature itself.
RIGHT ON to all you ladies who are for the natural way! Your body can handle it- that's what its for.
The medical industry- docs, hospitals and drug companies make a SHIT LOAD of money by convincing women they
a)need to be in a hospital,
b)need drugs for a variety of jackassed made-up (mostly) reasons, and
c)need some man with a speculum to tell them how to do something women have been doing since the dawn of humankind.
Educate yourselves, girls and boys. Medicine is an art- not a science. Just because someone has a MD behind their name doesn't mean they always know what's best for a body. Sometimes there's other motivations behind these decisions, like the almighty dollar...

Spaghetti Cat

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TaraIncognita: Thank you. Enjoy your little boy. It's hard to imagine now but they get even cuter as they age. ;) I should know, I have two of them.
And no judging here about your birth experience. I am all for people making their own informed choices. Just so long as they are not based on old wives tales. Why are people on a usually-pretty-feminist blog spreading these things? Misinformation helps nobody.

boingo82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I was scared too. But I looked around at the women who had gone before me. We they stronger than me? No. Braver? No. They survived it and I would too. And I did. (At home, with a midwife.)

My stepfather worked in Hollywood and told me that all the big-name actresses would get induced early so they wouldn't get "too big." I guess that's not happening so much any more.

PantyWaist

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @BettyFinn: Good for you for saying what you did. I had planned a vag birth, but life intervened. I'm not taking smack from anyone who thinks it's a less-than birth. Stupid fuckers.

*going to snuggle sweet baby boy now*

Tara Incognita

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @boingo82: Agree with everything you just wrote. I just had a baby, and all of what you said is true.

Tara Incognita

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: Mine was same way. Had my son 4 mos ago and I swear, he was taking his sweet baby time. I had regular contractions and NO FREAKING dilation (is that how it's spelled?) after cervidil and two rounds of Pitocin. So, when I started to convulse and run a fever after 36 hours of that nonsense, doctor ordered a c-section, and hot damn! was I ready.

I completely agree about people fetishizing either. I have a nice, wide pelvic opening (it's not how wide your hips are, folks...no one knows how wide their pelvic opening is until your ob tells you) and my mom had a 4-hr, no-drugs labor with me. So what happened to your mom may not happen to you.

I'm sick of people who haven't had babies, or people who have but had an easy time, making judgments about those of us for whom c-sections weren't a question.

Tara Incognita

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> newsweek magazine a few weeks ago had an article about the increase in c-sections and said part of the reason more and more are being done in th USA is b/c it costs more and the hospitals make more money that way. but they are marketing it as a convenience, because obviously you'd have to market something to get people to buy it. its kind of awful.

graceful_gamine

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @boingo82: You are the queen of this thread. Thank you!

jetztinberlin

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @haguenite: I completely agree. No woman should be forced to have a child, but once she decides to have that child, then she should do everything in her power to take care of it. Before, during, and after birth. Period. If that makes me anti-feminist...well...I don't want to be that kind of feminist. Selfishness is a good thing...up to a point. But parenthood requires putting the child first, in my opinion. And that includes the best delivery choices (within reason), and not smoking/drinking/etc. (Of course, I don't think c-sections or formula = selfish. As long as it's an informed decision made with everyone's mental, physical, and emotional health in mind.) YMMV, obvs.

Forceps scare the hell out of me. I was a forceps delivery. Born with a black eye because of it. Two years ago, my friend's daughter was born after a botched forceps delivery and subsequent emergency c-section. We all wish my friend had gone for the C first, b/c the baby's skull was broken by the forceps, and it took $80K in emergency surgery when she was less than 24 hours old to save her life. (Not to mention the fact that she had to be resuscitated, so in essence she died very briefly.)

snarkhunting

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I haven't given birth and I think whatever is safe and comfortable for the mother and baby is the best possible plan. However, I just saw the documentary "The Business of Being Born" a few weeks ago and it presented home birth and midwifery in a way I had never really seen before. It is an interesting look at the hospital vs. home and elective c-section vs. vaginal.

I believe it comes out on Netflix soon.

amymac

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I'm a little late to this convo, but maybe someone can tell me what happens when you have a LONGER than average birth canal? All this talk of the short ones causing problems, what happens when it's longer? My doctor once told me that my uterus is set higher than normal (apparently, so is my sister's). I now have to warn the person doing my paps that it may be a little difficult to reach my cervix on the first try.

As far as childbirth, I'm not terrified of the pain or any of that, what I'm afraid of is a man with a mother syndrome. Elvis had it, I guess it means once a man knows a woman is a mother he cannot find her sexually attractive any longer and won't sleep with her anymore. All I have to say is I have been waiting for a long time to have a steady sex partner and if this happened to me, I'd stab the bastard. I'm not kidding.

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Oh and: Vag birth does NOT always squeeze baby heads into cone shapes. Christ. My 9.5 lb son came out with a big ol round head despite my sz 4 hips.

boingo82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> It's so depressing to see so many tired old wives tales trotted out here as though they're factual.

In no particular order -

NO, your doctor cannot predict whether or not a baby can fit through your hips, unless you have a severe congenital deformity. Fitting into small jeans doesn't mean you can't birth a baby through your hips. Exterior size of the hip bones has pretty much nothing to do with the interior size.

NO, they do NOT have to cut you. Episiotomies are very, very rarely necessary. Usually they are a bad idea - they'll make you tear worse. Think of trying to tear a piece of fabric. Now put a small cut in it, how much easier does it tear? And tearing is preferable to episiotomy anyway, as a tear will always heal more easily than a clean cut.

NO, not all women tear. By avoiding pushing on your back with your legs up, you can avoid tearing. Think about it for a second - which sexual position puts the most pressure on your perineum? AVOID that position during birth!

NO, c-secs are NOT on the whole safer than vag birth. They are slightly riskier, but in a different way. You trade one set of complications for another, riskier set. Now obviously this equation changes if you've had prior c-sections which puts you at a higher risk of uterine rupture if you go vaginal.

Eesh, that's just for starters. Please, before you end up making these decisions for real, do some reading. There are real risks to most interventions, including epidurals, that you need to weigh for yourself.

boingo82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I have this. But I have no hips. And I remember trying to get a tampon out the first time (after I finally managed to get it in) and it hurting like a mother fucker. Yes. That much. I don't think I could get a baby out of me... Without dying.

ADOPTION! YAY! HERE I COME!

angelicola

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I completely understand the terror. After working around kids and having the mothers one up eachother in horror stories i have so much/too much knowledge about specific cases when things went wrong/on too long/doctors misunderstanding the complications. I understand the need while pregnant to know what to expect but people love to share a good horror story.

In a similar vein, when i was going in to get my wisdom teeth removed (first time ever for a major medical proceedure) people couldnt wait to share horror stories about screw ups in surgery. It made me far more apprehensive and as i went under my last words to the doctor were "please dont break my ribs..."

pink_orchid_martini

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Chicks everywhere need to can the judgement already. I think all we can take from this is that women need more pre- and post-natal support. That's definitely true.

I think I'll go get down on my knees and offer thanks again for c-sections. In an earlier era, probably my enormous son and I both would have died. Instead, we're both perfectly healthy.

Glaven

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I'm chiming in very late, but as an expectant mother, I can say that my birthing decision (probably a scheduled c-section) is not based upon vanity or fear, but rather an informed assessment of risks and benefits, and taking my family history into account.

I'm horrified to read some of these comments. You don't know me. I don't judge you and your personal decisions, so why would you tell me what to do?

BettyFinn

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @spamanda: Well that was supposed to be funny, I wouldn't really choose a c-section for head shape.
I was born naturally, without drugs and with crystals and new age music playing in the room and I still had a ton of mucous and meconium (blech) in my lungs. I was in the hospital for five days anyway, even though my birthmother did all the "right" politically correct self-sacrificing things, including breastfeeding me while I was in the hospital, even though I wasn't going home with her. Which is fine, I'm really glad she could do it the way she wanted.
I wouldn't breastfeed though, so that complication with C's doesn't bother me (oh no, another can of worms-- Forget I said that!)

NatalyaPetrovna

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @lola82: And apparently, I can't spell when I get all emotional...

lola82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @NatalyaPetrovna: except being pushed out vaginally helps get all the liquid and gunk out of a baby's lungs. babies born via c-section don't get that benefit. and my son was huge (9 lbs. 5 oz.) and he didn't have a cone shaped head -- that's usually from needing a vacuum or forceps. and i was able to nurse him right away, thereby increasing my chances for successful breastfeeding. many women who have c-sections are not able to do this immediately after birth (for obvious reasons, lol).

spamanda

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> The level of harsh, negative, judgmnet in this thread is so bad I've got to check out.

Before I go - in defense of women who opt for C-section:

There are many reasons a woman may make this choice. Personally, I don't think many women choose this option because they're afraid to "push" or afraid of "pain."

Please. That's so incredibly fucking offensive.

You don't know me. Make your own choice and don't push it on others. Until you've lived their life, had thier expereinces, how the hell do you get off judging them?

The negativity reminds me of pro-lifers condemning women who have an abortion. Jeez Louises.

lola82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @braak: Ha! That always cracks me up. "Oh they did? So mental illness is demonic posession? Awesome."

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: Right. Back at school, there were a lot of people who were into that whole, "Primtive societies knew so much more about medicine than we do" thing, and I had to keep pointing out to them that in herbs and witch days, people died from damn near everything.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @haguenite: That's sad about your mom. I know that one of the risks of c-sections is that it's not not safe to have them more than a few times. But that's why it would perfect for me, since I only want one kid and definitely not three or more!
Personally, if I were a baby I would rather be lifted out of the womb then fight my way for hours through a small dark canal that squeezes my head into a cone shape, but that's just me.

NatalyaPetrovna

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> So many comments, so few I'd like to go drinking with today.
A big hug to those few who clearly write that a woman is intitled to make her own decisions without judgment or interference from nosy bastards.
And then we have the really nasty, judgemental bitches: An emergency c-cection POX on you!

BTW, and it's pretty hard to book a c-cection in Sweden. You need to convince doctors that you have good reasons; being pathologically afraid of natural childbirth is one of the acceptable reasons. And cosmetics are not. (heard trough the grape-vine, so take it for what it is.) It might be one reason for the result.

Elin

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I've always been told that my hips could "birth a village." So I figure, if I ever find myself impregnated, it would probably just fall out on its own. Isn't that how the Germans have been doing it for centuries? Why else would my sturdy Germanic body be shaped like a baby-factory?

andromache is freakin' out, man.

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @AlannaBanana: That ring of hell where we eat our young, kill the aged and infirm, use drugs legally and let homosexuals have rights called The Netherlands, of course.

@LaComtesse: Agreed. It would be nice if docs could agree on this though.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Hahaha, I'm sorry but some of these comments are unintentionally hilarious. Tongs? LOL. Orally delivered?? LMAO. Pliers??!! Ahahahahahahaha. Love you guys.

Elevendy has a sequin for an eye

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @MissSmithDrankyourVodka: Definitely not denying that. The book discusses how forceps are difficult to use and that a lot of doctors make mistakes with them, which is why they are used less frequently these days. But maybe if there was better training for obstetricians on how to use them, they wouldn't accidentally harm babies.

@haguenite: What crazy country do you live in where they actually bother to take the time to train doctors properly?!? Here in the States, time is MONEY, baby.

AlannaBanana

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @NatalyaPetrovna: Well, let's then just disagree on that point. I do believe that if a woman makes a decision to carry a baby to term, that she should take the best possible care of it. Which is why I don't like pregnant women smoking or drinking either, unless they have no idea they're pregnant, obviously.

I won't yell at women who go for elective C-sections, but I do... I dunno... It's just... I guess I can be a bit condescending. And no, I don't have kids myself, and yes, I am a C-section kid myself. My big sis wouldn't come out, so back in the early 80s every kid that came after that was automatically a scheduled c-section. Perhaps I'm not too fond of them because my mother was told, after 3 pregnancies, that she should never get pregnant again because the cutting had severely weakened her uterus and another pregnancy could rupture it, even though she wanted more kids.

@AlannaBanana: You're right, using forceps and/or a vacuum pump is most definitely a craft. My sister has annual weekend-long seminars to practice it. I thankfully live in a country where these seminars are widely available to doctors and often paid for by the hospital they work for.
It's also crazy hard work using the forceps. My sister threw out her back using them one time.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @AlannaBanana: My little brother was breech. They started with forceps and when that wasn't working they switched to an Emergency C-Section. The pressure on the lobes from the forceps, however, caused some small mental difficulties for him. In hindsight, my mother wishes they would've went straight to the surgery instead of the forceps.
It's different for everyone.

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @jetztinberlin: back births are friggin' idiotic as fuck. They position a woman against gravity and instinct. SIT! CROUCH! BEND OVER! Much easier, totally.

@haguenite: There's risk with an epidural, but there's so much back and forth as to better/worse. (I've heard the arguments your sister has given, as well as the counterpoint, that the stress of pain is bad for the baby, etc.) Women should make an informed decision based on their research and their doctors recommendations.

@braak: Indeed. My mom had her "witch cabinet" while I was growing up. We didn't use antibacterial oinments on cuts, we used a tea-tree & comfrey beeswax balm. I had a mixture of herbs and oils instead of face-washes with chemicals. But when it came to, say, my brother's bronchitus or my sister's appendectomy, it was good ol' fashioned chemicals, doctors, and hospitals for us!

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> OMG - I have never been so terrified as before I had my first child, and it was a horrible experience until I realized what could REALLY have gone wrong. One friend with a baby who died 2 days after child birth because of a heart defect, one whose baby had a stroke because it stuck in the birth canal. If you have a healthy mom and baby at the end, you are lucky.

chicklit

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @vlvtjones: word

thanksluckystars

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> You ladies should check out Atul Gawande's book, "Better." He's a surgeon and it's a collection of his essays. One is about increased C-sections. Interestingly, they are used increasingly on breech or "stuck" babies in lieu of forceps, not because they are necessarily safer than forceps but because training doctors how to use forceps is difficult and takes a lot of time. It's seen as more of a craft, and in the crazy medical industry we have, learning a craft is considered a waste.

I was born in 83, got stuck because of my big ass head, and was removed by forceps to no ill effect. I wonder if I was born today if I'd be a C-section baby, and how that might have changed things for my mother and I.

AlannaBanana

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Disclaimer: I haven't read the comments.

Alas:

What a bunch of fucking wussies! Ahahahahaahahaahahaahahahahahahaha...! If my then 105 lb. frame could carry 30 lbs. of baby and shoot out an even 8 lbs. of precious, perfect baby girl WITHOUT FUCKING MEDS then so can everyone else.

Well, surely there are exceptions, esp. medically, but still.

Fucking own it, yo. Damn.

SBJ

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @haguenite: I do see the difference, but if a woman doesn't want a baby or can't afford it she can "just" give it up for adoption instead of being selfish and killing it, right? Well no, actually women have a right to be selfish and think of their own needs first when it comes to growing a human inside them, as well as how that human comes out.
C's have some risks vaginal births don't have and vice versa. Personally, I would never have a homebirth because I find it very unsafe to be away from a doctor and medical equipment in case of emergency, but I don't judge people for their choice or say they're going to be bad moms because they don't give birth "my way"!

Being informed about risks is very important, I just can't believe I'm hearing on this site that women who make choices "for their own benefit" are probably not going to be good mothers! That is insane.

p.s. no need to duck!

NatalyaPetrovna

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Education! Make an informed decision, either way. Don't expect your labor will go exactly as planned. And neither one is easy, there's recovery involved in all. That said I'm pro-all natural, had a gigantic baby, an easy recovery, and I'm glad I did it that way.
And kegels. Keep up with the kegels. I actually think my vadge is BETTER now that I've had a kid. The orgasms are easier, that's for sure. I've heard that from a couple friends actually.

spamanda

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TWSS: That's US stats, obv.

TWSS

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> i'm in the "it's your birthing experience, do it however you want" camp, to a point. i still have judgey issues with people who have medical help conceiving then keep all 7 embryos because "god wants them to" only to have 7 severely damaged babies 5 months later, tho.

it's like deciding not to breastfeed. breast milk may be best, as the saying goes, but formula isn't poison, so if it works better for you and your family, go for it.

however, it is really very sad when someone is THAT terrified of something that, while potentially dangerous, is kind of what we're built for. i second reading ina may gaskin's book to help with that.

but if you are more concerned with your figure than the health of you or your kid, you might want to rethink your decision to become a parent.

yamish

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I was going to comment about w this is a genuine fear of mine and why despite these fears I think I'd make a good mother anyway, but the air is superiority here from you smug-mothers is intolerable. See y'all bitches tomorrow.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @s1ipstream: Yeah, not so much. Before the knowledge of asepsis, maternal mortality was about 1 in 100. Today, it's about 1 in 10,000.

TWSS

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: Well, as much as I'm all for the idea that folk remedies may have some kind of secret beneficial power that's been overlooked by science, I tend to agree that people should wait to get gung-ho about them until after science has taken a look.

I am, generally, okay with doctors.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @NatalyaPetrovna: Er... Yeah. Have you ever noticed, in the abortion discussions, that one of the arguments being used against prolifers is that no woman should be made responsible for a child they have no interest in, or no ability to take care of?
It works the other way too, you know. If you're having a baby, you need to do your fucking best to make sure it comes to this world in the best possible shape (as far as you can influence that, and with shape I mean health, obv) so that it can have the best possible life. THAT's what you have a child for. Not for your own selfish motivations.

I'm actually not necessarily saying that elective C's or epidurals are selfish, but I think you have to be careful with them if research shows that they harm the baby (or yourself)...

*ducks*

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> This conversation is infuriating. I can't believe I am hearing feminists talking about how it's wrong for women to "put themselves first" or "be selfish" or worry about the "inconvenience" of having a baby. Does that SHIT sound FAMILIAR to anyone? Oh yeah that's what prolifers say about women who have abortions. Who cares if a woman wants to put herself first when SHE'S the one giving birth. Her body, her choice.

Also disturbing is the rhetoric that a woman who is not interested in martyring her body, sacrificing, and going through through pain is less likely to be a good mother. Lesson: A good woman accepts pain, especially when it's for the benefit of someone else. Bad women (bad mothers) try to ameliorate or lessen their own pain (selfish).

I want to adopt but if for any reason I do decide to get pregnant I am having an elective C all the way. I have two words for anyone who thinks that would make me a worse mother.

NatalyaPetrovna

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: Now, I'm not a doc, but my sister, who is one, is not too keen on the old epidural. If I remember correctly, she says that epidurals mess with the birthing process in a number of ways. One of them is tearing and damage to the birth canal, because the mother can't feel the contractions and therefore often pushes just off the mark. She's also said something about distress with the baby being harder to spot, so it's not noticed until later, and that there's a higher chance of baby distress when the mom has an epidural. Not sure how that works though.

@jetztinberlin: I don't know what it's like in the States, but my sister allows her patients to do whatever the heck they want while they're giving birth. They can stand on their head for all she cares. Or use a birthing stool, much more convenient. Just as long as the mother settles down every once in a while so that my sister can take a look at her progress, anything goes.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: Well, that theory might be a little much, but there is some evidence out there that there's a link btwn increase in difficult / malpositioned births and how much less physically active we are now. Ie that we sit a lot, have poor posture, are not very active etc contributes to the body and the baby's position being in less ideal condition for optimal labor / delivery. Some teachers even say the fact that we don't BREATHE as much / as deeply makes childbirth scarier bc deep breathing is a trigger for repressed traumas. Plus - someone else said this already but it bears repeating - the whole Western method of giving birth on your back is WAY BAD for you and the baby, ergonomically speaking... good for doctors, bad for mom and baby.

jetztinberlin

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @petunia942: exactly!
Isn't the point that if you are having a c-section because you fear childbirth, you aren't making an "informed decision"?
There are tons of benefits to mother and child with vaginal birth, and pre-natal care helps determine those who have hi-risk pregnancies and so those people who are more likely to need medical intervention can go with other options. Women who have c-sections should not feel bad or guilty, but electing to have one based on fear of birth and pain and because "women used to die in childbirth" is NOT making a choice based on knowledge and empowerment.

Dear Blond Diary

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @myrtlebeachbum: Uh, how is that patronizing? The vast majority of PLANNED C-sections are medically not needed. I am not talking about the ones that actually have to happen during the actual birthing process. I am talking about the same women who don't think of plastic surgery as being surgery. These are major medical surgeries and too many people either don't read about the risks or don't listen when doctors tell them about the risks.

Captain_Morgan

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @MakeMeSmile: ... that sounds a bit optimistic to me. Your baby's skull is grinding against your pubic bone, you have a good shot of tearing and your muscles are contracting. I'm THINKING it's always been painful, even without 20th century stress. The anticipation probably makes it worse, but not enough to actually change the basic pysiognomy of it.

@bigapplemama: I have heard such great things about the epidural. I'm a preemptive fan.

@Captain_Morgan: ... you're joking, right?

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> You know, I was terrified of giving birth. Like the thought made me sick and it was the ONE thing I freaked out about from the time I found out I was pregnant. I was trying to convince my doctor to give me a C-section, but she said to at least try a vaginal birth and we would take it from there. And I am glad I did. When the pain got too bad I had an epidural. And some scary things happened like my BP dropping dangerously low. But 12 hours of labor, twenty minutes of pushing later I gave birth to my son. And the pain was forgotten. Because it was like damn, this is the miracle of life.

@rebs: Don't just book a C-section because they say the kiddo is "large." My Dr. was worried a little because she was predicting a 7-8 lb baby and I am pretty tiny. He weighed 5lbs and 11 ozs. Tiny. They have no exact way of knowing size just guesstemiations.

Captain_Morgan

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @Captain_Morgan: That's silly. I heard no dead babies and jumped. The second time around I heard no uterine rupture and jumped. Pushing is hard. Recovering from major abdominal surgery while taking care of a baby (or two) is hard. Pick your poison.

myrtlebeachbum

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I was terrified of giving birth and almost had a panic attack and the pre-baby class where they show those sadistic videos of women giving birth. That said, child-birth was a piece of cake. I have NO tolerance for pain but I really only had 1.5 painful contractions before the sweet, sweet epidural. After that I took a nap, woke up a few hours later pushed a total of 3 times and my precious baby popped out. From water breaking to baby was about 6 hours. I know that my birth was freakishly easy but the anticipation was a million times worse than actually giving birth. Giving birth can be almost entirely painless!! God bless the epidural.

bigapplemama

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Just wanted to add that I read this wonderful book about how labor is really hard for women in this day and age because they go into it primed, anxious, and tense so their vaginal/uterine muscles are tense and that's why labor hurts so much. If women were to relax a bit more--the muscles wouldn't contract as much. So in essence, a lot of it is psychological.

Of course, I've never gone through labor, but reading it was very interesting.

MakeMeSmile

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @Captain_Morgan: Um, excuse me, but that's a tremendously patronising and offensive thing to say.

bowleserised

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> After watching my sister go through a 14-hour labour and subsequent emergency C-section, I offer this advice: if the obstetrician tells you your baby is reading as "large", book the surgery that day. She tried so hard, but my 12-pound niece just was not gonna get out the natural way.

rebs

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @kermio: Because too many women are not informed that C-sections carry risks that are far and above normal birthing worries. They just hear, no pushing and jump.

Captain_Morgan

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> i am so sick of people getting all judgmental and angsty about other women getting c-sections. i personally had one for the same reason that i need to be completely unconscious to have a dental cavity filled - i loathe doctors/health care/anything mildly invasive. maybe i'm ceding more control of my body/life to the medical patriarchy but at least i am less stressed out.

yikesalways

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Bug a Martini: Thing is, the fact that they haven't experienced childbirth is the EXACT REASON they fear it. If you experienced it before, you know what you are up against. It's fear of the unknown. I know, myself, extremely fear childbirth. Just the entire process scares the hell out of me, and it's not the pain. I have never been in the hospital, just visited people. Adding in a fear of doctors, and a fear of surgery (yes I'm scared of natural and C-section) AND a huge huge fear of death, and you got one scared little bitch (I know death isn't common, but if only one woman died from childbirth I'd still be scared). BUT, I would like to have a kid, and would like to experience this.

Don't down people who are afraid of giving birth, especially if they have never done it. It seems natural for some people to be afraid, especially when told horror stories. And one thing I notice people commenting about that is really grinding my nerves, if someone is afraid of childbirth does NOT mean they are unable to take care of a child. These are completely two different things. I am afraid of the process of giving birth, I am not afraid of the child caring part. I'm hoping my fear would go away with the love of the child inside of me, but I don't know. That reminds me of the people who would tell me that if I couldn't handle school, I wouldn't be able to handle a job. Guess what, I can handle jobs much better than school. Of course kids aren't the same thing, but when I have a child it will be planned, and I will be ready to face whatever I need to to take care of it, but I still believe I will fear the childbirth process.

Pugcake

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @hooplehead: Oh crimeny. Those women freak me the fuck out.

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I'm pregnant with my 2nd, had my first naturally and plan to with this one too, at a birth center. Don't want to get too crazy here, but there are so many misconceptions about childbirth. I recommend 2 books: "Birthing From Within" - Pam England and "Pushed" - Jennifer Block. If you are pregnant, get both, if you aren't but are interested in how western medicine has made childbirth a "medical procedure" get "Pushed." Was I terrified? Yes. Am I terrified the second time? Yes. But you know what, my body can do this. People should be asking themselves why they think they can't do it? I'm 5'4 and 100 pounds with hips like a boy. My daughter was nearly 8 pounds. Don't just give up control over your own body to someone because they feed you a bunch of crap about "big babies" etc. And check out Jennifer Block's blog, she is awesome.

thevagrantweed

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @damagegood: It's not a pseudophallus, it's a giant, swinging clit. Gotta be some perks to it.

*cough* look to earlier comments *cough* ;)

bowleserised

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @HeliosHyperion: Exactly. You know what would be really awesome? If everyone bitching here about how women who are scared of birth are vain and wimpy would share a positive story about her labor and birth experience.

charlottebackson

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: Oops, I see that you already answered my question. Sorry! Still, *fascinating.*

snarkhunting

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> If you think we've got it bad, think of the poor spotted hyena, which has to give birth through a "pseudo phallus," which is actually the clitoris, which RUPTURES during the first birth! Many cubs die and 10% of first-time mothers die.
If I were a Hyena, I'd totes go for the c.

damagegood

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: I'm sorry if this is totally nosy, but can you get pregnant in *both* uteri? If you, say, ovulated 2 eggs, could one implant in each? Would that work?

I'm utterly fascinated.

snarkhunting

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @blondegrlz and LaComptesse: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

bowleserised

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Maybe all the women who want C-sections just have raging herpes.

HeatherNumber1

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @bowleserised: OH. MY. GOD. My vulva is cringing.

What I don't see anyone mentioning, tho, is that natural birth also has actual benefits you don't get from C-sec. Improved lactation, postpartum hormonal production, less PPD, etc, some of which affects the baby too. I am not saying no C's; it's just another point to bear in mind.

From what my midwifey friends tell me most of the increase in scheduled C's is encouraged by docs bc the liability / malpractice for them is a better deal than the liability / malpractice for natural / vaginal. And FYI I am pretty sure that the US ranks at or near the top of fetal / maternal death rates for developed countries... which is really depressing.

French healthcare includes postpartum abdominal and vaginal muscular "reeducation" (ie snap-training!). So a) it exists and b) I vote we all move there to have our kids.

jetztinberlin

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @PinkSoxHat: My first was unplanned, my second (and third--they were twins) was a planned. If it has to happen, planned is so much better, recovery wise. However, if wouldn't have been my first choice.

And the scar is ugly. Really ugly.

petunia942

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @cuteasabutton: Beacuse you want the baby, not the birth (although some people love the birth). No one gets pregnant for the birth. Next!

myrtlebeachbum

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @hooplehead: Agreed. Absolutely no one should barge in on a woman while she's in the stirrups and tell her how to go about having her baby. I don't feel like I'm doing that here. I'm just stating my personal opinion on this subject as a whole.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I had an elective C with no regrets! Mine was not about fear and more about convenience and mental health. 1.) I am the president and CEO of my own company and knowing when, how and who with was helpful for me to plan my life and prepare my clients. 2.) I know myself and was more fearful of postpartum depression if my birthing experience was unplanned.

When I first asked my physician about elective C, she said "OK, your body your choice. Just like someone could walk in and request a mastectomy for fear of inherted breast cancer, women should be able to decide on their birthing experience."

I had a wonderful experience, and without labor, the recovery was quick. I was out of bed and walking the next day and off pain killers by day 2. Don't knock it until you try it!

walkinmyshoes

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> What's with all the judgement against us who are scared of childbirth? What about saying, "Yeah, it -is- scary, but you can handle it," instead of, "Oh, you're just delicate little ignorant pansies"? Stop being pissy about it. This is exactly what it means when the study says women need pre- and post-natal support. We certainly aren't getting it, and telling us to get over it doesn't do much other than to make us feel more alienated, alone, and scared. Go clown cannon another kid out of your vaginas and leave the rest of us alone.

HeliosHyperion

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I'm totes confused. Why have a baby if you're afraid of giving birth to it???

Cuteasabutton...does not suffer fools gladly.

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @hooplehead: I just had the most vivid image of a phalanx of women looking like something out of the Handmaid's Tale storming ominously though the halls.

Ditto to all who have said live and let live. Have a baby however the fuck you want; just be good to it when it comes out and raise it to be a decent human.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: Word. Or like those crazy La Leche League wenches who roam the maternity wards berating anyone who isn't planning on breastfeeding.

Hooplehead

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> It is just *one day*. Raising your child with love is *so* much more important than the way you give birth. We all make the best decision we can, for our own situation.

Personally, I had a "clinically significant" fear of epidurals when I had my daughter, due to some *bad* memories about being physically held down by someone in my past. So I had her unmedicated, with nurse-midwives. It was a great experience. For a while, I was really into patting myself on the back for doing it "natural".

However, I have since had the experience of working in the hospital with postpartum women, both vaginal and c-section births. I will never again judge someone for the way they give birth: C-section moms certainly go through a lot of serious pain afterward. Especially the ones who go all the way through labor and then have an emergency c/s. And if a woman feels safer planning a c/s, I think that's her own business.

Mothers have enough "mommy guilt" as it is without getting all judge-y on each other...

shelley27

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @prairieprincess: I worked with a preggo princess who, TWO YEARS after having her son via emergency C-section, still whines that she feels shortchanged about the birth experience.
My gyno told me she despises birth plans, and that a lot of doctors do. I didn't bother. I figured the best plan was to relax as much as possible, and let my body do the talking.
Regardless of whether you give birth vaginally or c-section, you're still having a baby. I still question women who CHOOSE c-sections because of misguided notions of convenience or painlessness.
(btw, I was a breech and born via emergency c-section, my mom had to have a blood transfusion. this was 1971, when it was major surgery and no woman in her right mind would as her doctor for a c-section...)

Bug a Martini

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Honestly, I think some people here need to back off a little bit. I'm terrified--absolutely FUCKING TERRIFIED of giving birth. Why? It's not about "my precious vagina". It's not about not understanding that our bodies have evolved to give birth. It's not about vanity, or not being willing to sacrifice for my child, or being a wimp, or anything like that. It's about the disgusting joy that so many people seem to take in telling stories about how much it hurts, how awful it is when you tear, how frightening it is, how you're in pain for hours...and then reminding you that if you REALLY care about your child, of course you won't be taking any painkillers!

Look, I'm as crunchy as they come. I'm probably going to have my children without drugs (unless something really goes wrong). I'm bothered by elective c-sections, because they pathologize birth and they're dangerous for the baby. But honestly, if you've NEVER heard anyone talk about a birth experience that was remotely positive--if EVERYONE you know has described it as a painful, frightening, out-of-control experience (and if you know someone who hemorrhaged on the table and flatlined during birth, as I do), then HELL YES, you're terrified.

charlottebackson

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I actually just got the shocker that I have the gestational diabeeedus (shocker b/c I am not that big and for all my other flaws, I eat really very well) and am worried about the "big baby" possibility. Son #1 was 6.5 lbs.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LadySkittlehattington: But that's her choice to put herself first in a small way during what is an otherwise selfless act. And who is anyone to question what an adult woman does with her own body? Given that it's her gynecological/obstetric medical care that we're discussing, I don't think it's anyone's place to pass judgements on the new mother's motives. It makes me really uncomfortable the extent to which people feel entitled to insert themselves into other people's privacy nowadays. What a woman does when she is in the stirrups is no one's business but her own, IMO.

Hooplehead

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @KLondike5: That was my point - that you cannot eyeball a non-prego lady and say 'you'll never get a baby out of those wee hips,' thus making them think they could never deliver vaginally.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: After 24 hours of induction I had only dilated to 2! So I'm with you, I would have done anything for the safety of my baby. By the time I went home 3 days later I didn't take one pain pill. I think I deal well with pain though, my recovery from breast reduction surgery 4 years later was a breeze. Also the scar, for me, is minimal and so low I often forget it is there.
The most important thing for people to remember is no two births are the same. I just hate when people look at me as though they feel sorry for me that I did not have a vaginal birth. My experience was not a nightmare.

NinaShane

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @braak: I know at least one other man who shares this opinion and that is my husband. He does "insist" however on a doctor. The doctor may also be a midwife, but none of this "witch with a magic wand for childbirth" crap.

@hooplehead: I agree. It cracks me up when a woman gets huffy over another chick getting an epidural, for example, when she herself got pregnant after courses of fertility treatments

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @hooplehead: Every woman is allowed to make her own decisions about how she wants to give birth, as long as she's doing the right thing for herself and her child. But in the case of a very small percentage of women who choose to get a C-section for aesthetic purposes or a non-legitimate fear of natural childbirth, yes, I do believe that she is putting her own needs first.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: I had an emergency C with my first and thought I would have to have an elective C with my second because no docs around here would take on the liability of a VBAC. I was OK with that, but ended up doing it natural, with no meds, because my labor advanced too quickly for any pain relief, forget a C-section.

Word to the wise, from someone who's done both: C-sections fucking hurt in recovery, natural childbirth fucking hurts in the pushing stage. But people can and do manage it just fine.

If you're desperate to avoid pain, I suggest doing it the old-fashioned way with a nice strong epidural. There are OBs who believe that childbirth should be painless and administer the meds with a liberal hand. Find yourself one of those if you're scared of the pain. And get to the hospital in plenty of time, unlike your friend KLondike.

@currerbell: Of course a baby can be too big for his/her mother's pelvis. That's how lots of women died in childbirth before c-sections were common. Growth has more to do with nutrition and genetics than how big the hips are.

KLondike5

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @southerncomfort: Spouse had our first (breech baby that would not turn back around) via C-section. The second came out vaginally. Her recovery went much better vaginally. A minor epsiotomy (sp?) healed faster than her c-section wound, which got infected. She was also worried that her vag would be ruined by birth, but I'm happy to report that it is just fine. Doing Kegel exercises regularly helps.

I and all of my numerous siblings were all born via c-section. (Mom is a little nuts about babies.) She has the old-time scar where they sliced you up to your belly button.

For all those suggesting adoption, that is too expensive for many people. It is cheaper to grow your own, though obviously there is work and risk involved in the growing.

raoul j raoul

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Oy.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LaComtesse: And of course, in a supreme act of anthropological irony, we invented farming thousands of years before it occurred to anyone to invent the plow.

Speaking on the topic in a general sense--and, I think I can confidently say that this opinion is shared pretty widely among men--ladies: give birth however you want. You're the ones that have to do it, do it in whichever way you're confident.

Science will always be here to eject the baby with scalpels and crobars, if need be.

braak

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @NinaShane: I know, I was so depressed going to the doctor week after week after week, and nothing! Not effaced, not dilated, not even shortened. And we could not have been wrong about the gestation because I was away for weeks immediately after. I was dying to go into labor. I'd have welcomed it. After 24 hours of induction, I got to four centimeters. We threw in the towel when it became clear that it was stressing the baby too much. I was so tired and worried that I'd have done anything just to put an end to it all and see that he was all right.

One thing: are some of you under the impression that when you have pain relief during labor, or even a C, you're not awake? Because I was awake for the whole thing, including the C. I couldn't walk afterwards because the anaesthetic hadn't worn off, but I was awake for the rest of the evening and up in the morning. Someone had told me to get up as soon as possible after, and they were right. No one's going to just let you hang out in bed. It's bad for your respiratory system even if it weren't best for your healing. I had excellent pain management and was about 90% by the time I went home. It took another week or so before I could laugh without a twinge, but that's it.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LadySkittlehattington: I'm not angry, I'm calling BS where I see it.

Hooplehead

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @BringBackTheBustle: Actually, it's not. Homo sapien hips that rotated to allow us to walk upright are not angled or wide enough to safely pass a baby through as it was for earlier human ancestors.

Also, yes, women have been having babies for hundreds of years the natural way. And they died. And their babies died. And they continue to die all over the world where women don't have access to prenatal care or decent obstetrics.

nardo218

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @hooplehead: You don't need to get all angry and debate-y. I was simply explaining why people seem to be judgmental about this issue.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @LadySkittlehattington: I think that is a huge and not necessarily fair leap in judgement to make. The woman is going to go through pain regardless of which method of giving birth she chooses. And considering the wide array of reasons why one might choose a C-section, I think it's unfair and rather crappy to say that women who elect to get C-sections are automatically selfish, vain women who are going to be bad mothers. As long as the kid and mother are OK after the procedure, whose business are the semantics of how it happened?

I'm kind of boggled by people's attitudes about this. If men were trying to enforce their ideas of how women should give birth, there would be an uproar. But women feel free to demean other women's choices and make negative character assumptions and broad generalizations without knowing anything of the specifics. Talk about girl-on-girl crime. I thought feminists were all about giving women choices, not demeaning them for electing a choice we disagree with.

Hooplehead

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: My son was the same way. He was a week late, and showed no signs of ever coming out. LOL. My C was unplanned, but necessary, and I recovered quickly. Not quite sure if I would have planned one though. But not sad that I had my son by C section.

NinaShane

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I can't believe how this issue still not only brings up ugly judgement from & to other women, but also apparently makes people want to make snide comments about shit they know nothing about. Unless you've had that anxiety, you don't know what it does to your mind. Who knows where it comes from, but it's real and it can be just as harmful to a developing baby as anything else. It has nothing to do with thinking a c-section is easy, or "too posh to push."

I get so pissed with these preggo princesses who have their birth plans down to the minute, and mourn for years if they didn't have the birth experience of their dreams. And why are they encouraged to create a birth plan? So they feel they have some control over the situation. That's what women who want a scheduled c-sec are also interested in; not deliverance from pain, or effort, or whatever. It's what makes them feel there is some control. And if that calms them down and they have a healthy delivery, who the fuck cares and why the hell is it anyone else's business?

For the record, I had breast reduction surgery five years before I gave birth, so I know pain and stitches in uncomfortable areas. I had my son at 28 weeks. By the time I arrived at the hospital I was fully dilated and having contractions less than two minutes apart, so advanced labor. Since he was so early & breech, I had the emergency c-sec. I was out of bed six hours later to see him in the NICU and back at work three weeks later. So anyone who thinks a c-section is easier can kiss my ass. But on the other hand, the recovery was way easier than the breast reduction.

So my point is, have your baby whichever way you want, and then shut your freakin' pie hole about anyone else's choices.

prairieprincess

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @Bug a Martini: yeah, i've got my husband by my side on this one, and every time i start thinking about how hard it is to be a mom, I send up a blessing to all the single moms out there. You have my utmost respect!

dreamweave

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> And to those who have said they think they will have to get c-sections because they have small hips? Well, I ain't no fancy big city doctor (and hopefully one of you are and can correct/validate me), but I don't think that matters. Generally speaking, doesn't your body tend to make a baby it can deliver? And most medically necessary c-sections are do to stuff other than baby size? Unless of course you have the diabeeedus or something else that could make the baby extra big.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> C-section hands down. I think vaginal delivery would be extremely traumatic for me because of my history. So I don't judge the ladies afraid of the vaginal delivery.

However, I plan on adopting. My C-section plan is only if birth control fails.

Vaginal delivery probably is best. But geez, I've heard some horror stories from some of my friends. One of them is STILL in physical therapy from the pysical trauma related to her delivery (it f'd up her hips, pelvis and tons of other muscles), and her baby is 4 mos old! She definitely wasn't "up and walking around" the day after!

If it wasn't dangerous for the baby I would deliver vaginally if I could have the drugs they give you for a colonoscopy - where you're conscious and compliant during the procedure but you remember NOTHING after.

lola82

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @kermio: I don't know. I think that some women may feel (myself included) that a lot of women think childbirth is the scariest thing you could ever go through. That it's going unbearingly painful and stuff. And I think these fears lead some women into wanting a C-section. I know sometimes C-sections are necessary, and that there has been a lot of progress made in the surgery since I was delivered by C-section in 1984 (my mom tried naturally, but I wasn't budging at all. I'm fairly stubborn) but I still think, that when my time comes, I'm going to push (so to speak) for 100% natural birth. I'm wary of science's role in the birthing experience, especially when it comes to the use of drugs. I feel that it takes power away from the woman and puts it in the hands of the hospital. Giving birth is something only women can do, I feel like it's become very sterile in cold in the past few decades, and I think women should be proud of the fact that their bodies can handle such an event, rather than fear it and rue it. I mean, I'm not rushing out to have a kid because I think it's great that I can have one or anything, but I'm definitely more in favor of natural birth.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Everyone is different. We get pregnant by different methods and for different reasons. We give birth differently (even among our own children). We deal with pain differently. We raise our children differently. No one way is the right for everyone.

Educate yourself and make an informed decision about what works for you. Personally, I had three vaginal births. Two with meds, one without. One preemie, two full-term. I don't feel like more or less of a mother to one, than the others.

Parenting is hard enough without the judgments. Be confident in your choices and let others be confident in theirs.

Meg

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @Macloserboy: @myrtlebeachbum: I also have a friend that didn't bounce back. She had her baby in April and she's still in physical therapy. She had a home birth with a doula. I hate to say it, but I think its more common than people let on. (Just like miscarriages--women only come out of the woodwork w/ their miscarriage stories after they've found out you've had one.)

thirdrail

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @Her_royal_Highness: Now you're making me think of Elizabeth McGovern in She's Having A Baby and when her mother mentions how the slim hips in their family cause troubles in delivery, now I hear Kate Bush singing Woman's Work ....and I think I'm gonna cry.

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @blondegrlz: Oh, I DID see that one. I think it is only possible if you conceive both in a very small window of time. My family is all fraternal twins, which means that we release more eggs than normal people. So, if there is an unfertilized egg there, it is fair game.

I am hoping for one that looks like my bf, and one that looks like Jason Varitek. Because I am a crazy person.

Rhody

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @TheFormerJuneBronson: "Their goal is a good outcome for you and for the baby. Period. It's one day in your life and one day in your kid's life. Fetishizing this is as bad as fetishizing the bridal experience."

Word. I think I *heart* you. And Bender.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @bowleserised: ... ... when I come back in my next life... and I will make it my BUSINESS to do so, please work some kind of magic so i don't come back as a spotted hyaenea!

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Oh dear. We were given hips for a reason.

Her_royal_Highness

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: That's even cooler than I had imagined. My singular, backward-facing uterus is envious of your heart-shaped ones!

wildflowerpower

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @veraikon: I don't think that "don't long for the child" = "don't really want the kid" is a fair leap to make, either. Some women who are pregnant with their first just can't imagine those kinds of feelings about a squalling, troublesome human being who interrupts their sleep and causes them pain. It's outside of the realm of their experience; anyone else who treated them that way, they wouldn't tolerate. I've known a lot of women who said it took quite a while after the birth for them to develop a real attachment to their babies, which is not at all to say that they aren't good mothers or that they don't love their children more than life itself now. People are different from each other, and a lot of women make themselves positively sick about not having the "right" feelings about the baby when they're pregnant. Let's not make it worse for them.

TheFormerJuneBronson

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> I'm sorry, but if you're petrified of natural birth (one word: "episiotomy"), aren't you entitled to a safe alternative? Without feeling like an inadequate mother?

carolinerex

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: It was a one-time character. This girl came in with contractions and she had a baby in each uterus. So one baby was like 6 weeks further along than the other, because the second baby wasn't her boyfriend's. Apparently when she told him she was pregnant they got in a fight and she went out and had a one night stand, so she was pregnant uterus with different men's babies at the same time. I think that might be impossible though, because once you're already pregnant, don't your ovaries stop sending the eggs? Which is why you miss your period?

BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz!

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> Thank you for clarifying. That made my afternoon.

wildflowerpower

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @kermio: I think it's because having a child is such a huge sacrifice anyway, and if a woman isn't willing to go through the pain of having it the natural way, then in what other parts of her motherhood will she put her needs first? Perhaps I'm wrong, but this seems to treat childbirth like a big inconvenience, rather than the natural thing it is.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @wildflowerpower: When I got the ultrasound results (I had to have an internal ultrasound and an MRI) the picture of my uterus forms a perfect little heart shape. My friends all think it is fucking adorable that my two uteri form a heart.

Rhody

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @rhody: That sounds sweet. Small, but perfectly formed uteri.

wildflowerpower

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @blondegrlz: I definitely missed that one. Which is odd, I thought I had seen all of them. Who has the double uterus?

Rhody

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @bowleserised: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz!

]]> <![CDATA[Too Posh To Push? Some Pregnant Women Are Just Wigged Out]]> @