<![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?" - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?" - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @oryx: hahaha true.

thewordunheard

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Mmmm Sausage for breakfast!

Fashion Police

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> After the thousandth dash, I gave up. Crap crap crap. Ergo, well-chosen!

I can has inadequate salve?

groverexploder

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @verbyournouns: RE: Breaking the news to his dick over pop-tarts and OJ...I honest to god actually think that's what he did!

RosettaStoned

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @hharlowe: "This sounds like something Tom Cruise would write."

Yes. Tom Cruise in a powdered wig, scribbling by candlelight with his quill pen.

RosettaStoned

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> You know, I have these old letters from a History Friend that are hand written and include Latin AND illustrations. From two years after I told him it was over on accounta my inevitable dykeadaelia. If this guy is Biblical, I have Opus Dei. I should totally scan those for the ladies' enjoyment.

...

Let's forget the part where I'm sleeping with him again - it's only for an electronic version of the above.

Charmingbutalarminglydisarming

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @allora:

Hate to be an ass, but I think you mean "Creep".
Just sayin'.

number six

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Also, notice that it is now HER fault he sent a psycho text? Also typical of the breed.

Dizzy8

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Heeheehee. I went to law school, and a lot of the guys there were in law school because they thought being a lawyer would get them laid. This guy's tone of entitlement, "Where was the respect?" is so typical. I've heard so many classmates say things like, "I'm a nice guy. So why didn't that bitch let me f*** her tonight?"

Dizzy8

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Is this guy French or something? Because this is what I imagine sentiment lost in translation would sound like. Who talks like this? Let alone puts it on teh interwebs for the forwarding to others?

maryn

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Why was it a risk to date Meredith? Why did douchebag say it was risking its reputation? Is Meredith really such an unthinkable match? Why? Curious minds want to know. Details, please.

clickable

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> His "unit"? Is he talking about his penis?? What the fuck?

deitybox

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> If I wrote like this in one of my classes I'd get a big old red cross through it, and the words "Nonsensical: Rewrite" in the margin. Perhaps his university had a different approach.

haguenite

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> So, is "breakfast with my unit" the new vernacular for "jerk before work"? Because it should be.

That_little_attention_whore

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @hooplehead: I totally also love "history friend" and Mr. History.

hahaha breakfast unit!! this crap email is really great. and re the headline about respecting him risking his reputation? what does that even mean? to even write that sentence means this douchey CA lawyer must be a ridiculously egotistical bastard.

Agrado

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> First rule of thumb with email: I'm amazed people still use emails to convey neurotic negative shit. Amazed. It's bad enough feeling humiliated, but to convey evidence of that just makes it worse.

The idea (that men like to convey) that they are sexual players who enjoy being promiscuous is obviously a myth, if these emails are any indication. Or maybe they just like the game played their way, i.e. "adore me bitch, while I play the field and scratch notches in this here bed post."

barbell

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> >"Where you deceiving me? How easy it was for you to watch me leave- present me with your cheek, after lying with me the night before."

I hope that was an ass cheek.

AnnoyingFemaleLeadVoiceover

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Wait, emotionally retarded lawyer from Jersey now living in the Bay Area? Fuck, how did I miss this one?!?

Piranha426

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> If he is a lawyer, he is the classic frustrated English major--thought he was a great poet, essayist, wordsmith, but discovered there's no money in that, especially when you SUCK at it. So he sold his soul and went to law school and takes out his intellectual frustrations on every poor person who has to read his crap email. I bet his outbox is full of literary gems like this.

divineangst

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> You know what? I think this guy is Rudy Guiliani. At one of the Republican debates (I know, I know), he kept referring to "my city," and "my people." (When he was not making near constant 9/11 and Ronald Reagan references.)

I heard he also has a GF in Texas that all the gossips are holding on to in case his candidacy takes off. (You know, the "Florida Surprise" strategy that seems to be working so well.)

Plus, isn't he a lawyer? :)

Bunsy

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "How come we weren't inevitable, as opposed to inevitable to be apart?"

Mr. Run-on-Sentence needs remedial grammer. Ugh. This hurt my brain.

designmartini

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Wow. He sounds like a real girl. Plus: what the heck is he talking about?

And in what way dating her "risking" his reputation? Is he Prince William? Is she Julia Allison? (sorry everybody.)

Bunsy

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @midwesternmom: Exactly. And by the way he throws it in there, it's obvious "9th Circuit job" is code for "I went to a really prestigious law school and scored a really prestigious clerkship and I am really smart and important so you should consider it an honor to fuck me".

Also, I think the Orgasm Salve is located next to the Rosebud Salve at Sephora.

TheJerseyDevil

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> So, you know how sometimes you'll be reading technical manual like for your DVD player or listening to a friend talk about programming languages, and you're like, "I know all the words in that sentence but it might as well be damn Swahili for all the understanding of it I'm doing?" Yeah.

LookyLoo

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @SweatsuitHaven: hard dick and bubblegum is a well known rap lyric actually, Mike Jones and Ice Cube (among others) have used it before.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> What's with this "unit" business? Does he mean "co-workers", "apartment", or "junk"?

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Maybe "bubblegum dick" is a play on words to the fabulous Tionna Smalls grammatical biscuit: "hard dick and bubblegum".

Too bad Denton gave her the boot. Asshat.

SweatsuitHaven

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I have no idea what this guy was talking about (Mr. History...really??)

It's times like this that I thank God guys don't take much interest in me.

Ok, ok, I have to ask...is this a joke? It's made up, right? No guy would actually send this. Right?

Sev

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> this is my San Francisco, and Ninth Circuit job

Please tell me this guy is only tangentially affiliated with the 9th Circuit - court reporter, maybe? Or bailiff? I shudder to think he might be a lawyer or a judge - I don't think our already shaky judicial system can handle the stress of his incoherence. Let alone the sentence fragments!

alannaofdoom

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> It doesn't matter what situation they were in; I don't care if they'd been together ten years. Hilarious emo crap-ass writing is just objectively funny, whatever the context. No amount of heartbreak excuses this: 'How easy it was for you to watch me leave- present me with your cheek, after lying with me the night before. How come we weren't inevitable, as opposed to inevitable to be apart?'

Come on. You can't make up that kind of comedy gold! Even my cold, former writing tutor heart might feel some pity for a fourteen-year-old goth poet writing this, but a lawyer? Honestly. Just go have a wank and cry because your semen represents the violent expulsion of your pent-up feelings.

rah29

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> He's a fly in the salve of her getting the eff' outta there. Sheesh, what a whiner!

themediatrix

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Fuck, this email was so long I got bored half-way through and started google image searching random words. I am sure the receiver of the email felt the same way.

Porcelina

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Is this a Mad Libs letter?

sleepingwiththeenemy

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I like this orgasm salve of which he speaks. Seriously, nuts. I hope he doesn't read this, stalk her and cut her into pieces like so many men lately. Makes you appreciate the jerks in your life. They would never care to send such a thing.

lovely nigerienne

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @treecut: Yep. This letter needs to be read with a Roger Daltrey "yeeeaoooow" between each "sentence"

thirdrail

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PandoraSpocks: I've actually been in this situation and had no problem with it. I got the sex, the ex got to cart a bunch of heavy boxes around! Win win!

Somehow the comment threads on CFADS always make me laugh like an idiot.

TrixieBelden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I really don't get what's happening here, but I'm kind of concerned about his unit.

tundrababe

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @warmaiden: Believe me, I'm trying to get out. But I want to wait until my review next month so I can go with a higher salary.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @allora: I mean Radiohead's "Creep". gah.
mid nineties=quite a blur

allora

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> The story gets better...after we broke up, he was sitting on the beach one day and got inspired to write me a poem. Which he put on my desk with a seashell that reminded him of me..

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: oh my god, no! Next to him!? Why do you torture yourself so? Does he pass you poetry under the desk?

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Also: just read his poetry. Which made me throw up in m youth a little bit. Tell him rhyme is passe (wish I could make the accent mark over that 'e'), and that he uses commas in unnecessary spots. And that he'd never get into my MFA program, because we have quality douchebags who at least know their grammar.

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @warmaiden: I tell myself that every day. Now I just need to get a new job so I don't have to sit at the desk right next to him anymore...

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Gross. Just...gross. I have no other words, other than to tell you you're lucky you got out!

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @spinlizzy: Are you in trade/educational/library? Adult/children's?

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: I'm starting to think that virtually all of publishing is built on that principle. Pretty dismal times.

zizzlepop

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> ok here's what i think i picked up from that rambling...

it sounds like maybe they live in the same building? so that's why he saw her in the elevator with "Mr. History"? on those same lines, i'm thinking by "unit" he means his roommates, and he is trying to act embarrassed that they know he was sleeping with her?

RemoteCommander

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PaisleyPajamas: Wordy McWord.

And speaking of verbose, the guy has been watching too much Atonement. CEFAD: Victorian Gothic Edition.

And what is it with these guys? Their little prideskis get hurty-wurty and the entire Sexual Revolution for which they ranted, raved, yelled, bled, and died (insert contemptuous eyeroll here) goes out the window?

Rooo sez BISH PLZ

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @currerbell, @eseleth -
Triple amen to that with a cherry on top.

TrixieFirecracker

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @spinlizzy: Our entire company is built on that principle. I'm trying to get out of it...

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @warmaiden: Did I mention that he cheated with his ex-girlfriend when we were together? AND blogged about that too but later deleted it? AND sent me some "seductive" email the other day even though he is back together with her now? He's beyond douche.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: ahh, I kind of suspected as much. I'm also in publishing, and nothing chaps my ass more than somebody hired to ghostwrite something heavily outlined for them that can practically write itself and he/she has the nerve to say "I got a book deal!" Yes, that's allll you, honey.

zizzlepop

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> It sounds like he just showed up to help her move and she wasn't expecting him.

It also sounds like they weren't taking the whole dating thing so seriously until he decided he loved her.

Also: history-friend?

"My San francisco and ninth circuit job" - how very needy of them to be all YOURS. Keep 'em, dude.

Unit? Who refers to their colleagues as a unit? And why was he telling them about his intimacy?

And WHY oh WHY does he keep saying "my intimacy" - what does that even MEAN???

I love CEFADs. Am going to get raging drunk with gay pals and married folk now - ta ta!

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @currerbell: I am so, so with you on that that last sentence.

onefishtwofish

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> how are all of y'all able to follow this one? seriously, i can't understand what he's talking about--at all--and i have to read this kind of crap all that time. i would love to share some of the crap e-mails and letters that i have to read, but if any of my clients read them i would lose my job.

pq

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Oh the Shatner...and what fresh sort of crazy tells his unit about his intimate pre-cheek moments? Especially when your "unit" is a cadre of lawyers?

Any other lady lawyers ever notice how everyone assumes that our dates/spouses/partners/presenthistory friends/fuck buddies are also lawyers? Every female lawyer I know would NEVER date/fuck/marry another lawyer. Crap, I can barely face up to the fact that I am a lawyer, much less wake up with one in my bed.

currerbell

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @jewess: If you think that's painful, you should read his poetry. [www.scribd.com]

@spinlizzy: Wellllllll, his wonderful "book deal" is a work-for-hire assignment that was given to him by one of the editors I work with. In library publishing. He gets paid $1,500 for it. No royalties. Nothing to brag (or blog) about.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @stacyinbean: *Could tie his penis in a knot?* Are you serious? That can't be true!!!!!
Holy crap, I'm going to be thinking about that with a weird bewildered look on my face all freaking night!

ItchykooParker

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Love these.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I just analyzed this email using word readability stats and he writes at a 6th grade level. LOOOOSSSSEEERRR!

LagunaBitch

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> This may be a duplicate by I don't see my prior comment...

His "unit" he meant his work group, one of whom is a friend of mine.

And, I didn't ask either of them to help me move. The ex who is a great friend of mine showed up to help. Juris Douchebag (love it!!!) asked me if he could come say goodbye while me and my friends packed my stuff. Didn't ask him to help, didn't ask him to come over, already told him I really didn't want to keep seeing him and he wanted to leave on good terms. And yes, from the START I was very clear I didn't know if I wanted to date from a distance, and as SOON as he turned out to be a whack-job, I did my best to end it.

AkaMerideth

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Hm. He has poor use of commas. Also, because his blogname includes writer, I assume he's a douche.

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Christ, this guy got a BOOK DEAL?!? His blog reads like a 2nd grader's class journal.

zizzlepop

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I got a letter like this after a break-up, as well. But hand written.. At the end were all the lyrics to Radiohead's "Loser". And that is why *I* have a problem with sensitive dudes also.
You know, 'cause I'm so fuckin' special. ;)

allora

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @blackbirdfly: Yeah! I want my Colin Firth! Any formulation of Firth/Darcy will be just fine, thank you.

ItchykooParker

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tailfeather: In total agreement.

susannapants

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I was sitting here earlier this afternoon thinking that a Crap E-mail would totally save my day, so seeing this was really exciting. But this guy might have cured me of my sense of humor about people. Jeebus, Meredith, I'm raising my glass to you tonight ... poor thing.

exiled

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> This is why I refuse to date other lawyers. Sheesh.

onefishtwofish

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Maybe this post should be tagged "crap email from a lawyer."

TrixieFirecracker

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Wow, that's good (bad) stuff.

I think it's a little odd how I'm somewhat satisfied from a poorly written e-mail from an ex. Like, his grammar sucks, so he is therefore inferior?

ArmCandy

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> The grandiose sense of entitlement is strong in this one.

Can we please have more CEFAD? Goddamn I love these.

webwench

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I was the original recipient of that email... his "unit" is is work group. I know some people he works with (and one of them knew we dated some).

I think Juris Douchebag is my newest favorite word.

And, sure, I would have been pissed in his shoes too (get dumped, show up to say goodbye expecting she didn't really mean it when she broke up with me, and meet a guy she had briefly dated) but telling me to "have a great hillbilly weekend you dirty little slut" seemed well, a little too much. I used the word "dumped" loosely, having never actually called him my boyfriend.

AkaMerideth

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "history-friend" wtf...sounds like this guy fancies himself a poet. i fancy him a douche.

Whitney's Black Best Friend

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @treecut: HAHAHAGA

this is almost as rad as conan o brian's walker texas ranger stuff. thanks!

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> federal law clerks, and the lawyers they become, are self-obsessed work-a-holics. if you hadn't realized it wasn't gonna work now, you would have after threatening to chuck his damn blackberry through the window of an italian restaurant. oh wait. . . that was me.

sylvie calls shotgun!!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @zivah: good point.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Wow. It really is true. Most people are as boring and banal as they fucking seem.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> What did he say?

Incognegro is a Grinch

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Y'all are so spoiled, you know that? Here:

SBJ

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> All my comments have disappeared! :(

La_Panique

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @AlisonAshleigh: Why are you not SHARING these e-mails? I smell a weekly installment on Jezebel!

BowlingForDollars

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Ramble, ramble, ramble, blah blah blah.

I wish I could do the whole, "it's fun for now" thing. This girl is my new hero.

Tulipsaki

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> ok ok .. this and the queef post are much more entertaining notes to end the week on im giddy with giggling

nothanks

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @incurable paranoiac: Never mind, it was this one:

[youtube.com]

treecut just Baracked the Vote!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: ok wow. that was pretty bad writing there. I'll sum up that last post with- some baseball guy was tired of signing baseballs. Impressive that he made that into over 200 words ;)

jewess

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I don't get it. Is his 'unit' his dick?

HeatherNumber1

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @incurable paranoiac: Okay, I don't know if this is the one I originally saw. There are a bunch on youtube:

[youtube.com]

treecut just Baracked the Vote!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tellmeagain: Wait. Something in this whole mishmash did make sense? Where? Please point it out, cause I tried and I got a headache.

SheLaughs

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @incurable paranoiac: Did someone say (Puts on Sunglasses) ..Caruso?

[hexacorde.blogspot.com]

HexaCorde

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I keep thinking of "history friend" as some important historical figure, like, she's standing in an elevator with sad-sack crap email guy and George Washington or Abe Lincoln.

marzipan_baby

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PandoraSpocks: I hear what you're saying, but i've seen this too often to know that she was probably up front with him about it being just a fling-- and he just could not fathom that a woman would be able to turn a man such as himself down. That she would 'come around to reality' and when she didn't he pretended to not understand the arrangement. This is happening to my former roommate and friend right now, and i've been called so many names when it's happened to me.

Unfortuantely no one had the decency to email me so i could send it into CEFAD :(

jewess

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "Risking [his] reputation" by dating her? Is he ascending a throne in the next few weeks? Yep, telling her she is in some way not quite up to standard is sooo going to win her back.

CEFAD is my favorite; it always makes me feel better about whatever romantic mess I'm currently making.

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @midwesternmom: that's the best EVER. As a former law student I feel the pain that is the J.D. all too well.

eleanorstrousers

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @miele: Hmmm, I did once have an ex-boyfriend, a current boyfriend, and a guy who had a crush on me help me move. But the ex-boyfriend was the one I was bitching about above, and deserved it, and the current boyfriend I had only been on a few dates with. What can I say, I have stick arms and can't carry anything on my own.

treecut just Baracked the Vote!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Okay, I lied in the Queef post. These are the funniest comments of the day. Holy hell!

Also, I reminded of the email a co-worked of mine got from an ex that called her an "emotional narcissist." Classic shit.

La_Panique

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Great. Fantastic! Present to him your cheek! (Do you prefer face or ass cheek, my Grace?)

SBJ

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> He lost me at "history friend". WTF?

Beigebaby

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @Your_sisterinlaws_baby_cousin_Traci: One of my very good friends had a "history-friend" who could tie his penis in a knot. I wish I still had the picture, you ladies would love it. I assume this is where that term comes from. His dick was very flexible.

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @Your_sisterinlaws_baby_cousin_Traci: Like it's sort of semi-flaccid?

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Crap Email From A Dude - Shatner Style!

jupiterspaw

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tailfeather: And to be fair to myself, it was only the bitter "Did you envision a scenario where I visit you one weekend, and then another "friend with history" visits you another weekend" question that I posed. Not the entire, rambling histrionic, self-righteous novella. Well, not exactly.

treecut just Baracked the Vote!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> At the risk of a double post...dude is a JAG. "Ninth circuit." "Unit." Court + military = JAG.

And, I call emotional shenanigans on this chick.

GoldHoops

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @incurable paranoiac: Three weeks = I don't feel bad at all. His own fault for being such a sap so early in a relationship. And if he was sad, he needed to keep it to himself, if for no other reason than to preserve a little self-respect.

zivah

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> This is why I will never date a lawyer or a law student, and I strongly discourage my single friends from it. Also, this reminds me of the guy who once called to break up with me in high school. I didn't know we were dating. That was so fun.

PinkSoxHat

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @kpjones: If memory serves, staff attorneys at the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals are divided into sections that they call "units," e.g. the Pro Se Unit handles appeals filed by persons representing themselves.

I'm guessing "Paul" hooked up with "Michelle" because they work together or she's friends with one of the other staff attorneys in his section. Hence the uncomfortable unit breakfast.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Wow. Just Wow. I totally am planning marriage with people I meet and date who are moving in three weeks. Wow.

Captain_Morgan

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> He's a JAG. Lawyer. Unit = military. It all makes sense.

I also have to agree with the posters who pointed out that there were some emotional shenanigans going on with the chick.

GoldHoops

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I took the scenario this way:
1. They dated casually, knowing she was moving away.
2. He showed up at her place the day before she was moving away and encountered "Mr. History."
3. He got mad and texted her a message saying she was an evil dirty slut.
4. Being a sensitive Lord Byron, he was shocked at his own bad behavior (a person who uses "lie with me" is NOT going to accept his own use of something as crass as "evil dirty slut") and responded by emailing the apologia posted here.

If this is actually how things went, the dude's a straight-up tool.

TrixieFirecracker

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @entonces: Oh, my ex thinks he's the most brilliant writer and poet of all time. But if you read his blog....

[nycwriter-matt.blogspot.com]

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @treecut: WHERE can i find this?

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "Where you deceiving me? How easy it was for you to watch me leave- present me with your cheek, after lying with me the night before. How come we weren't inevitable, as opposed to inevitable to be apart?"

This man clearly missed his calling. He should call Harlequin immediately.

MegSpencer

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @JWest282: hahahaha

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> i so hoped that would read: but what was missing was respect for me. Respect for my cock.

jewess

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @oryx: It's dick that is stretchy like chewed bubblegum.

W.T.F.? I'm intrigued - please tell me more.....

Serslah, I have no idea what this phenomenon is. "Stretchy"? For reals?

Your Sister-in-law's Baby Cousin Traci

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Yesss, I am so using "This is MY San Francisco; this is MY ninth circuit" in conversation. Suhweet. Gracias, douche.

mllej

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tokenblackgirl: I did say it out loud. It worked for me. I now feel more prepared for my Monday morning operations meeting. Thanks!

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> am i the only person who feels at all bad for this dude? and i don't mean because he's terrible at letter-writing.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @noseriously: Oooh, throbbing members and ripping of corsets! Oh, my!

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @whatevercraig: "penis wrinkle" = one of my favorite disses. thanks for bringing it to the people.

fulana.de.tal

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> He totally had breakfast with his penis, and was embarassed to tell it that they had been dumped.

I too think we're missing something here.

washionfore

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I think this dude's a lawyer who wishes he were a cop. Hence the "unit." He probably probably refers to his fellow pencil-pushing friends as his "unit," and I'll bet they go on Bill Brasky-like rants while getting wasted at lunchtime.

kelsium

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @sheistolerable: Only if you capture it at midnight on a full moon.

BadenBaden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Respect the douche! Respect him NOW! Or he'll be even MORE douchy!

mynameisrio

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @sequined: Word.

GoldHoops

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @whatevercraig: Penis-wrinkle? Can I steal that? And use it ALL THE TIME from now on?

zivah

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> If someone was texting me I was "evil" and "a dirty little slut." and NOT in a good naughty way, I think I just might text back "Yes I am, go 2 clinic immediately I may have given u something I'm itchy as hell and burning."

Also everyone I know that moves from the bay area to so.cal or vise a versa don't really see this as an end all to dating that person. just saying.

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Moe - Can you ask "Meredith" if she knows what "Paul" was referring to when he said "my unit"? Pretty sure we'd all love to know.

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @badenbaden: LMAO, for a cornucopia of Mr.Historys of mine...

@mysterygirl: at least you had the sense to shorten it, I wrote a 5 page rant of everything he fucked me over on, because in my defense, WHENEVER we had an arguement, he never let me get a fucking word in, and I felt that was my chance. Whatevs, karma's a bitch.

that is all.

kgibbs

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I hear the salve of an orgasm is good for your skin.

sheistolerable

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Omigod that is so true! Or, when they are trying to sound grown up, call themselves "homeowners" and talk about their "vehicles".

Entonces is ironing your dumb ass

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I'm confused...did she ask both of them to help her move? That is a little gutsy asking your ex ex-boyfriend and more recent ex-boyfriend to do the most annoying favor for you.

miele

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @TempleDrake: I know - I was SO BORED reading this. I just skipped straight to the comments. :)

The part that I did read sounds like when I try to write heavy metal lyrics when I am super drunk.

rmontcal

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> What a penis wrinkle. Just say she hurt your feelings and get on with it. Cripes, it's like she stole his peen or something.

WhateverCraig

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @hharlowe: Hee hee. Will it ever stop being funny to make fun of Tom Cruise?

zivah

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @crazylazy: Agreed. "History-friend" so deliciously stupid.

Jenloveshercurves

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> He's from Jersey. That explains it all. [Note: I am from Jersey and hence officially allowed to say this.]

BadenBaden

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @lawyergay: I keep imagining him applying his semen to sore spots on his body. It's not pretty.

KillMeNow has a stalker named Yolanda

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @kgibbs: I agree that it sounds like she was shady-- I guess my problem with it is the scale. They only dated for three weeks, and he even alludes to the fact that she's said they might never see each other again. He should have written one paragraph saying "it sucked that you sprung that on me" and let it go. If the tables were turned, I'd think that the girl was over-the-top if she wrote this response. But yeah, I totally see where you're coming from, and I have (gulp) written a (blessedly MUCH shorter and much less overwrought) reprimand e-mail before.

mysterygirl

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @treecut: One year of previous dating history renders your embarrassment null and void. Three weeks of dating history renders this guy an asshole. So you're clear!

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> i want to friend the history out of you.

rwr

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PandoraSpocks: Eh, I know plenty of women who will understand a three-week fling followed by a move. Did this guy just find out yesterday that she was leaving town? Even if he had himself convinced dispite evidence to the contrary that this was going to be a long-term thing, nothing justifies his rambling oddly-chosen nonsensical verbage and punctuation.

Pinkosaurus

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I had to have breakfast with my unit. My unit which was inappropriately informed about my intimacy- who I chose to share my bed with.
Um....is he talking about his silicone vadge sex toy?

dirtybee says we bee obama jammin

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> What's hilarious is that he just can't get off the phrase "Friend of History". Can't switch it up a little? An "Ex"? Anything?

The Real JR

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @entonces: @petuniacat: @tellmeagain: @zivah: I just read this whole load of crap, but have retained nothing of its meaning, if indeed there was some kind of meaning.

OH, and I hate it when people use a hyphen when they mean to use a dash. Grr

westvillagegirl (exiled in chicago)

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @badmutha: Ha!! Did you see the compilation of all the David Caruso sunglass moments. Genius!

treecut just Baracked the Vote!

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @Macloserboy: Bwahaha putting "bite" and "bubblegum dick" in the same sentence is grossing me out. It's dick that is stretchy like chewed bubblegum.

oryx

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @CHARLIEBUCKET: hahahahah! Exactly!

badmutha

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> I'm so glad for her she got out when she did because Jesus, "lie with me?" What the hell?

Jenloveshercurves

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Where can I buy this orgasm salve? Does it come in adequate or just inadequate?

JWest282

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @ericablue: I just made the mistake of telling my younger Lovuh my approximate number of sexual partners (which I still reduced by about... 20). Even with the caveat that I'd been sexing for eight years longer than he has was cold comfort. I decided to fix things the old-fashioned way and rode him like a fucking bronco until his tiny mind readjusted, but I really wanted to say, if you have a problem with MY whore-ass, get the fuck out of my bed so I can make room for someone with a bigger dick and a less judgmental attitude. This would have been the undiplomatic response.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> OMG. "Lying with me?" Is the only book he's ever read the Red Tent?

"Breakfast with my unit?" What do you usually do, detach it before making your pancakes?

sheistolerable

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @cardboardbelt: Seriously. I'm actually fearing the day one of my unfortunate youthful e-mails will one day surface on this site. Lord knows I wrote enough of them. But I blame it on being young and stupid and in love and not knowing any better.

I'm better now. I promise.

mbprice

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PandoraSpocks: And? We've broken up. If he wants somebody else to help him pack, great. If he'd just dumped me, I probably don't want to see him, much less schlep his shit up stairs.

lolly71

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Holy Kerist. So, he's pissed he got dumped, right? Out with it, then, overly verbose fucker. Clive Owen wouldn't do this to a girl.

brassinpocket

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @badmutha: Maybe I. Haven't.... Or. Have. I. Badmutha?

CharlemagneBucket

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Also, my unit and I have breakfast often. You just need that time, you know?

cardboardbelt

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tellmeagain: ninth-circuit douche may be long-winded, but he's also bendy.

fulana.de.tal

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> A couple of years ago, right after I got divorced, I put a profile up on a couple of embarrassing singles' sites and myspace. Don't judge. Anyway, some guy contacted me, we conversed, he asked me out and I said no (he was asking me out for that night.) About a week later, I got an email from him, apologizing for not contacting me sooner and then he launched into the most detailed, pornographic description of what he'd been thinking of doing to me I have EVER seen. We'd IM'ed once and he's talking about using his large (he liked the word large) penis on me.

lolly71

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @PandoraSpocks: true, but there's something i feel like we're missing here. like he felt like he wasn't being told the entire truth or he thought things were more serious. i don't know, but the way he expresses himself, it's hilarious.

bess marvin, girl detective

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @tailfeather: As far as i know...i'm the only who says it, my best friend hates it but its now stuck in her lingo. say it loud, What the Douche?

tokenblackgirl

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> @athertonmerriweather: Ummmmm....do I even want to ask what "bubblegum dick" is?

Your Sister-in-law's Baby Cousin Traci

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> this is totally incomprehensible, what does it meann???? what the hell is he saying???? I hope she or her "history-friend" gave him a swift kick in the a$$

HoneyLush

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> There's a lot of faulty parallelism in this letter.

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "History friend" and "Mr. History" are my new favorite phrases. I also giggled about the obsession with being "presented with her cheek."

But I fifteenth the call about clarification of the unit breakfast. At first read, I thought he was talking about his package.

Basically he's an overeducated, undersexed dude throwing a fit over not getting in one last night before she hit the road.

Hooplehead

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> "I had to have breakfast with my unit. My unit which was inappropriately informed about my intimacy- who I chose to share my bed with."

You'd think it'd be entirely appropriate for his unit to know who he chose to share his bed with. Maybe if his unit were better-informed, his orgasms wouldn't be such inadequate salves.

I mean, I feel like Beavis and Butthead over here, but I just pictured him having A Talk with his dick, trying to break the news.

verbyournouns

]]> <![CDATA["It Was A Risk -- Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?"]]> Jezebel, can you please start selling a shirt that just says "CEFAD" in huge block letters and nothing else?

Entonces is ironing your dumb ass

]]>