<![CDATA[That's Nuts - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I see these in southern Indiana occasionally. Given the high density of rednecks, I'm surprised there aren't more. My 21 y.o. brother has expressed his love and desire for them, but I doubt he'll ever put them on his Malibu. Ha.

touchmyshoe

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> There was a time in my life, at my first divorce, that I literally wanted my cheating ex's actual testicles to hang like fuzzy dice from my rear view mirror.

I've scanned this whole comment list of complaints of hitch dangle-age; not seeing one word of disgust aimed at the chrome mudflap girl or the resurgence of the trucker's cap as a fashion statement (thanks to Von Dutch and Ashton Kucher.) People, either complain about it all or keep silent.

DivineChiYaYa

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Does that mean they'll also ban truckers' obligatory naked-chick-pix they generally have positioned in plain view for any child to see. Somehow I doubt it.

mepo

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @WhitneyGH: Omg another liberal in Alabama??? Thought my hubby and I were the only ones!

redvwbug

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I'm a fan of these, actually. They state pretty clearly "I think of my truck as an extension of my penis, since I so obviously need one".

dearheart

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I live in Virgina....They also come in blue for those truckers looking for love...I do not kid you.

Supermodel Hungry

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> And nobody is going to mention the Confederate Flag? Because that is the worst offender, in my opinion.

gerbilsinlove

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @SarahMC: I want some of those stickers. That's fancy.

I just write out angry post-it notes now. :)

jessy ratfink

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @blackbirdfly: Number 24 is a racing thing, that's Jeff Gordon's number. All the redneck morons LOVE Dale Earnhardt and his spawn.

FLYIN' HIGH IN THE SKY, BROTHER EARL! WE LOVE YA!

jessy ratfink

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Meh... do we really need a law for this?

I swear, America has lost its sense of humor entirely.

webwench

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @WhitneyGH: "Choose Life" plates are available to vehicle owners, with proceeds going towards anti-choice organizations...

FAN-motherfucking-TASTIC!! How many of those "Choose Life" people cheer every time somebody is executed by the state? Kind of screws up the message, doesn't it?

rose0red

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @lalaland13: AWESOME. Usually, when I pull up besides someone who has a bumper sticker that says "marriage = 1 man stick figure + 1 woman stick figure" all I can come up with is to roll down my passenger window and scream incoherently.

BritneyCanadaWhore

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I love the fact that here in Virginia we spend our taxpayer money on debating whether or not people should have tacky things on their car!

coffeeoverdose

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> My friend has a bunch of bumper stickers that say "I park like an asshole" on them. You stick 'em on cars who are illegally or just badly parked. They are not that adhesive.

After the 2004 election, I was home for Thanksgiving, out drinking with my friends. After getting a little drunk I ripped the Bush/Cheney sticker off my parents' car. They never said anything (if they even noticed).

SarahMC

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @heylady: Wait, you guys really support a law against this? Come on. This is a waste of the legistlative branch.

Yeah, I agree. Sure, they're trashy and sexist, but ultimately they don't hurt anything.

On a related note, have you guys seen the mudflap man? [www.northernsun.com]

rose0red

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @WhitneyGH: I love the bumper sticker slogan! That's one I haven't seen before. :)
I would like to put radical stickers all over my car but I'm afraid some jerk with a baseball bat will take his wingnut anger out on the Civic. I'm also afraid of never hearing the end of it from the rents.

SarahMC

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Fucking vile bastards. You know what else I hate? The knuckle/fingers "stuck in the car door" thingees that people put on their car doors, on the outside.

SBJ

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> What I don't get is from ships to planes to guitars to cars, they're normally named a female name...

Christine would be pissed.

Tenno

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @MissSamAdams: True that. My six year old daughter was asking all about them in great detail. She has a dad and brother so she knows balls, but trying to explain why they were on a truck...or trucks I should say. I live in Nevada and those ball sacks are ubiquitous in this redneck of the woods.

Kristable

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: It's from kxcd: [www.xkcd.com], which is awesome and you should read the entirety of ^_^

kimsama

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Wow, I've never seen those things. Who invented this? Are people still allowed to put bull testicles on their cars?

Dadadarling

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @msmerlin: Ohh I had a professor once who used to live in Missouri and had a Darwin fish on her car. I think once someone stole it, and when she got another one, a cop pulled over for it. Seriously. He asked if it was a witch symbol or something and said something about "We don't do that sort of thing" here. She didn't get a ticket, though, after basically telling him that he couldn't give her one because it was totally illegal. Or something like that. I forgot how she did it, but it was awesome to hear her tell it.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @gin_y_juice: Right on!

I have lots of vigilante vehicle vandalism fantasies. Not only do I want to castrate the balls, but I'd like to have a sticker to leave behind that nobody is interested in their nutsack.

I also want to print up a sheet of stickers that read, "Not a compact car, asshole." I'd keep some with me to stick on the Suburbans parked in compact spaces.

Gumbina80

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> ...Wow. I have never seen these before.

Way to literalize the metaphor, dudes.

laughingacademy

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Okay, I live in rural Virginia and these things are EVERYWHERE. Sadly, though, they aren't the most dangerous accessories on most "redneck mobiles." It is becoming really popular to put full-sized flags in the beds of trucks, usually more than one. Sometimes you'll see a truck with two or three big-ass flags flapping in the breeze as they drive down a curvy mountain pass at 75 mph. They aren't just distracting, they physically impair drivers behind them. WORST IDEA EVER.

So yeah, the balls are just a novelty compared to that. I don't care about the "ew" factor of the nuts, or the ethical questions raised displaying rebel flags on your car. That's part of freedom of expression, especially in an area forever steeped in Southern pride. (Just visit Virginia and you'll see what I mean.) But the flags are really dangerous, more so than the testicles. Can we focus on that too?

Robobot

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @WhitneyGH: I don't remember seeing "Choose Life" plates in Texas, but there are here in Arkansas and they irritate me. I like to shout "Choose death!" when I see them.

The weird part? I have never seen a pair of these on a vehicle, and I have lived in the South all my life. Hmm.

I also shout "Thank you for destroying America!" when I see Bush '04 stickers. And ohh, whenever I see a big- ass truck (there are a ton of em around here), if they try to speed up or whatever and don't let me pass, or even if they don't, I like to shout "Your penis is shrinking! Your penis is shrinking!" as I go by them. Since ohh, a girl in a little car is passing them! No!

Needless to say, I'm single.

lalaland13

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Virginia is for nutters. (sorry, couldn't help it.)

If this gets passed, wouldn't it affect sex shop retailers in the state?

dandelionbrowne

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Sure, trucknuts are tacky and distracting, but there are lots of things that are tacky and distracting that are put on cars. I don't see why these need to be outlawed. Like someone else already said, this is just more Puritanical nonsense. Personally, I'm more offended by seeing people drive uglyass Pontiac Aztecs, and more distracted by spotting a gorgeous Lotus Elise on the road, but I'm not about to try and outlaw those things. Way to distract the legislative branch from doing anything that actually matters.

alcibiades

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> wow. i've never heard of balls on the back of trucks. then again, i live in connecticut, so i guess that makes sense.

HannaNefler

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> As far as I'm concerned, these are like having a big "I AM TERRIBLE IN BED" bumper sticker on your car.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: AND: The larger the truck itself - or the wheels. My sis and I make hand gestures as we drive past these overcompensators involving our pinkies. The last joint thereof.

sybann

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @GordonGartrell: EVERY time I see a W sticker, I flip them off. EVERY time.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> We got stuck driving behind a car in Maryland covered in big Fairy stickers that declared she was protected by fairies. I wanted to kick her stupid ass.

And my friend has a sticker that says DOG is My Co-Pilot.

And I live in Virginia. I am planning a stealth mission to roam the streets at 2 am and de-nut every damned pair of these shitwad things I can find.

gerbilsinlove

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I hate trucknuts, but, sorry, can't support a law to ban them. They are lame and distracting, but so are a lot of things. I get serious roadrage everytime I see a car with a "W" bumper sticker, but I support their right to piss me off.

This post reminds me of the time this summer when I had to ride around in my cousin's car, which had two huge, hatefully-worded anti-choice bumper stickers on it. I felt so embarrassed and was convinced someone would run us off the road, but that was probably just because if I had seen the car, I would have been tempted to.

GordonGartrell

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @LadyNo: SUCH a good scene though.

Jeremy

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I live in Virginia and I've seen those god-awful things.

ForeverBlueGirl

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @jensim: I think in this case, they aren't disgusted because maybe the person hanging the nuts acts as the veiny dildo, since it's just balls/no dick? And how can you hate yourself if you think enough of your truck to testiclize it.

couponwhore

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Dear Delegate Spruhill,

Thank you so much for tackling this very important, moral, and pressing issue. This is certainly more important than working to get my kids health insurance.

-A Constituent

LaComtesse

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> They may be fun to play with but balls certainly ain't pretty. I never understood the need to put them on display. Every guy I know is grossed out by veiny dildos but somehow truck nuts are different?

SuzieCreamcheese

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Saw a white truck here (Texas, natch) covered in red, east Texas dirt and the driver had gone to the trouble to polish his chrome set, because they were all shiny and sparkling compared to the truck.

AshleyStIves

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> If they outlaw these, my sure-proof method of determining someone's complete lack of class will be ruined!

sequined

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @MEAGAN2K: I totally agree with you re: DVD players- much more distracting than balls anyday. How come kids these days get to watch movies and TV EVERYWHERE they go while I endured days-long family driving with nothing to entertain me but my parent's old records? If I heard Carly Simon one more time....

missjwalker

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Does this mean you have to castrate your car accoutremants in VA and strap 'em back on when you reach Maryland?

missjwalker

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @WhitneyGH: I hate those license plates too. The 4th Circuit has held them unconstitutional. I wish everyone else would catch up.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mightymouth: "Vulva on your Volvo"...hahaha....love it!

MsMerlin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> You know what I have a big problem with, more so so than junk hanging from a trunk? DVD players in the backseat of cars. THAT is distracting because if you're behind people you start watching it without realizing it and next think you know you could be in an accident.

Seriously, this nation is out of hand.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @couponwhore: my high school friend and i made a unilateral decision that the transmission of a car decided its gender. a stick = male. automatic = female.

rednrowdy

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @couponwhore: Um, I actually think having balls on your truck makes it WAY gayer.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @msmerlin: I had a ribbon on my car once, I'm not going to lie. It was gray and it said "Support Absolutely Nothing."

Some little turd stole it.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I live in Alabama (yeah, I know, but I do love it here), and I see the trucknuts occasionally. Usually, though, they're the metal ones; I've also seen a couple of bright yellow plastic ones, but I've never seen any flesh-colored ones that looked "anatomically correct."

I don't have a problem with redneck losers hanging big metal (or plastic, etc.) balls off of their trailer hitches, as long as I could put replicas of breasts and vaginas on my vehicle. As long as both sides are treated equally, I'm fine with it. I may not like seeing them, and I will definitely make fun of anyone driving a truck with trucknuts, but I don't think it should be outlawed as long as the issue is dealt with fairly and equally.

This is, of course, completely unlike the whole anti-choice license plate debaucle that exists in my state (and others). "Choose Life" plates are available to vehicle owners, with proceeds going towards anti-choice organizations - but there is no pro-choice license plate optional available. This is highly unconstitutional, as it implies that the state government supports one side over the other. Tennessee's "Choose Life" plates got revoked for that very reason. Unfortunately, Alabama has not yet caught up to Tennessee when it comes to following the U.S. Constitution (also, Tennessee's governor is awesomely awesome, whereas Alabama's...not so much).

As for my personal vehicle, I admit a love of bumper stickers. I have a Darwin fish magnet, a pro-choice sticker, a ribbon magnet advocating animal rescue, a "DEM" sticker, and a sticker that says, "If liberals hated America, we'd vote Republican." I get some funny looks when I pull into the parking lot of my federal government job, let me tell ya.

WhitneyGH

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @JessicaLovejoy: *hangs head in shame* Yes, I TiVO'd that shit.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: And what about the "Jesus fish"? I personally like the ones with feet that say "Darwin", but wouldn't put one on my car.

MsMerlin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> CANNOT. SEE. COMMENTS. GOING. INSANE.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> TALK about overcompensation.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Why does a truck have to be male? Why are some guys so totally concerned that someone might confuse the gender of their truck that they have to tack a set of balls on it?

I mean, would it be a gay truck if it didn't have prosthetic balls?

And, are these the kind of people who get prosthetic testicles for their neutered poodles?

couponwhore

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @redvwbug: I think some men never outgrow the tween/early teen juvenile humor. This just proves that.

MsMerlin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BeAgrestic: Oh girl, my sister and her family live in Kannapolis, Dale's hometown. They had to have police cruise by the grave regularly to make sure none of those rednecks were trying to dig his ass up.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: Yeah, the ribbons are sooooo overdone. I did get a kick out of one I saw awhile back, though. It was green, had little drawings of pot leaves and said "SUPPORT MY HABIT". :-)

MsMerlin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I took a road trip down south and got stuck behind a truck through most of Kentucky with said balls hanging from the hitch. I was so appalled it took me a while to notice the dead deer in the bed of the truck. I got around him the first chance I got and decided he wasn't even worth giving the finger. That kind of guy would probably take it as a come on.

ericablue

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @heylady: yeah, that's the thing. I really can't get behind any legislation that enforces and codifies this ridiculous, pathetic fear of sexuality and the human body, be it male or female. And I don't really like the idea of supporting something because it's hypothetical gender justice. Where are these women who are so desperate to put labia on their bumpers? I mean, if they exist, I think they should be allowed to, but I can't really see the appeal in that. The nutsack thing is stupid, but I think getting upset about it is even stupider.

It's like when people criticize those who are afraid of women's anatomy by pointing out "we all started there!" I mean the nutsack plays a hand in creation as well, let's just relax a bit. No child is screwed for life because they see plastic balls.

hushnowcharlotte

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @athertonmerriweather: Opie & Anthony on WAAF! I still see that written on trucks once in awhile. I guess a guy can hope, huh? ;-)

MsMerlin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: And by "channel surfing" you mean totally waiting to watch Thomas and the Magic Railroad right?

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @LadyNo: Speaking of Alec Baldwin, guess what lucky girl was channel surfing and saw his Oscar-worthy performance in Thomas and the Magic Railroad? This broad right here!

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mightymouth: HA Hahahaha. Ball jokes are fun.

@jessy ratfink: What meaning has the number 24, pray tell?

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Maybe it's the guy's way of saying "I'm nuts!"

PantyWaist

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Yeah, the metal ones are HUGE (both in size and popularity) here in Kentucky. They're right up there with stickers featuring Calvin peeing on the number 24.

:|

jessy ratfink

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @Jeremy: I always cringe at that scene in Glengarry Glen Ross when Alec Baldwin pulls out the brass balls.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @blackbirdfly: Hahahaha!!! "Sir, I am going to have to confiscate your balls now. Sorry about that, but you know how it goes."

P.S. - I wonder if they make a hairy variety. Of course, my curiosity is not pressing enough to actually google it myself.

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: I happened to get a window shade with the Baby on Board logo on it (I swear it wasn't my intention but, alas, the only option available to me in time of urgency) and used it for a good 6 months. I have to say, I actually felt like people backed off a little when they saw it, so I can't hate on them too bad.

NeverEver

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @kataroo_kangaroo: oooh, i went to college in your state and my roommate used to regale us w/ stories of her upstate hometown and high school

TakeBackWhatYouSaidAboutThor

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> legislation that could ruin the lives of rednecks
all over the country?
I love it

Sweat87

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @blackbirdfly: vehicle. Gah.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> The last time I saw some of these stupid fake ball things, they were extremely large and bright green. Looking fucking ridiculous. Instant loathing and disdain for the driver of the truck set in.

But then I nearly ran off the bridge when I got along side the truck and there was this short little fat guy riding shotgun (seriously, like his head barely cleared the window frame of the huge truck)who had that neanderthal/cro-magnon man look going, while this enormous, fat BEAST of a woman was driving the truck. So, I guess those were his hideously ginormous balls and she gets to keep them all the time? Ugh. MORONS.

I really, really hate those things, because then my 5 and 10 yr old are asking, what's that on that trailer hitch? NICE. Bad enough with all the screen prints about dead people, god, that annoying little boy pissing on anything and everything....now I have to talk about big green balls. OR the lovely burnt orange ones the harley davidson crowd favors.

Put those stupid things in your pants if you are so insecure. Hanging them on your hitch isn't fooling me or anyone else.

randomthoughts

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mightymouth: Cop to trucker: "sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of your veihicle and remove your balls."

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @Reluctant Financier: everytime i see one of those oversized pick ups or suburban suv's large enough to be a condo on wheels, all i can think of is that song during the closing credits of 'orgazmo' called "sorry about your penis".

rednrowdy

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Agreed. I heart the first amendment, but if we're going to be squirrely as a culture about anatomy, then we should be squirrely in an egalitarian way.

I find it vaguely amusing that people who put realistic male genitalia on their trucks, visible by all and sundry including THE CHILDREN, are often the ones who vote for candidates who promote "family values." I think truck nuts are less family-friendly than Janet Jackson's nipple.

Dashrashi

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Oh my god, can you imagine? "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to write you up. It seems there's a vulva on your Volvo, and we just can't have that."

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @madktdisease: Ohh, you said it better than I did. Totally agree. Jeez. I forget sometimes that this country was founded by puritans (after we killed off the savages).

HeyLady

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> When I see these, and I do in Colorado, unfortch, they're usually brass. Isn't that clever? Brass balls. Hanging from the hitch on your 4' raised truck.

Idiots.

Jeremy

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @hannah2007: Oh hell yes. I'm in Ky too and you can't go 10 feet (even though I live in the "city") without seeing some numbnut fuckwit display of pickup truck machoism.

Flackette is a Red State Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: I guess that's where we differ. I don't think bodies are lewd, and I think this whole country is prude (rhyme not intentional). I also don't think there should be laws against bad taste. Leave the people alone.

HeyLady

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @stacyinbean: Probably. All I know about them is that they were hosting a WOW party at this bar my friend dragged me to one time (years and years ago). We didn't know about the WOW party, and we were totally confused, not to mention a little freaked out about the fact that there were 10 guys to every woman there. When they started with their schtick, we high-tailed it out of there. It was fucking disgusting - a bunch of fat middle-aged dudes yelling at women to take off their tops. And yes, it boggles the mind that this was in NYC - rednecks abound even in the Big Apple.

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> This is one of those "I don't agree with what you say but I defend to the death your right to say it" issues. They're tacky as hell I hate them so much and really, nothing is better to alert everyone else to the tiny size of your ween. But outlawing them is ridiculous. Then it's not too much of a stretch to say that pro-choice and pro-gay rights bumper stickers "upset" church-goin' folks. We need less rights taken away, even if truck nuts are the tackiest.

And seriously, if you can't explain to a 5 year old what testicles are, why'd you sign up to be a parent? Why are people so uptight over them?

madktdisease

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: Were you in NC when Dale died? I kid you not when I say my school had the flag at half-mast after he died. My dad tried soooo hard to get me into NASCAR, but I just can't get into watching cars go around in a circle.
Oh, and the fan base doesn't help much. I've seen people with actual tattoo's of their favorite driver.

BeAgrestic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Some guys only have real balls when they can purchase them. For the rest of us, God didn't stop short of the whole package.

the dude

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mcemmie: 5 bucks says the same guys who can walk in and buy these things with a straight face are the same ones who get all whiny when their wives ask them to pick up a box of tampons.

lolly71

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @kataroo_kangaroo: I find that amusing as well but have never seen one. On my old car, I had a "Mondale/Ferraro" sticker because I found that amusing too. I found it at an antique store (weird) and for some reason the thought of driving a 1995 car with a bumper sticker from the '84 (was that '84??) presidential election during the 2004 presidential election seemed funny to me.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Truck Nuts just scream "I am an impotent tiny-dick man".

Flackette is a Red State Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: I recently saw a "Bush's Last Day" sticker that nearly moved me to tears.

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> The only pair I ever saw was a big black pair of nuts on a white guy's truck.
@redvwbug:
I refuse to shop at Dick's.

mocksun

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> When I see these on those ridiculous giant-ass trucks in parking lots (I live in the South, there's a lot of them), I am always tempted to "castrate" them with my handy pocketknife. Also tempted to spray paint "Yes, It's Tiny" across the taligate.

Gin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @brendastarlet: Heheh, descending..

leMaldeTete

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @heylady: I fully support this law. The only testes that I EVER want to see are the ones attatched to my betrothed. It offends me to see naked male genetalia in public, and if it's illegal to flash somebody, it should be illegal to have realistic plastic nuts on your car for all to see. I'm pretty sure that plastic boobs or labia on a car would get called "indecent", and would cause a holy moralistic uproar. So if our bodies are considered lewd, then men's nasty balls should be too.

BiscuitDoughJones

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: Minivan? Whooo...On the minivan?

MissSamAdams

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Goodness, the depths to which we as a society are descending.

brendastarlet is on it

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @drunkexpatwriter: I just Wikipedia'd "Huge Trashy Truck Balls" and it seems that Senator Larry Craig at one point introduced a bill REQUIRING these things on all interstate commerce vehicles, so you may be on to something.

tallyhoe

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @Sev: My cousin's redneck husband has those bulletholes on their mini-van. The one his kids ride in. Fucking retard.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mightymouth: Aren't they also the ones who got kicked off the air because they got a couple to have sex in St. Patrick's Cathedral?

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @Sev: I know I have often had to dodge bullets coming out of the Pottery Barn.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Reminds me of something I've seen on LJ - an icon with a little stick figure that says Penises: they're about this big. Now, as a culture, can we please move on?

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @leMaldeTete: HAAA! So true!

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: Jinx.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I'm actually offended by seeing these on a van I have to walk by every day, and I hate them for making me feel like a conservative head case. Cover the statue of justice with a drape, indeed.

j.am

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: As have I. They fill me with sorrow.
@DorothyZbornak: The only place I've ever seen the fake bullet hole decals was in the parking lot of a very affluant mall, no doubt placed there by some 16-year-old white boy who thinks they make him look "thug." Man, those decals SURE made me believe he MUST have been shot at whilst driving daddy's car out of his gated subdivision and right into the parking lot of a mall containing a Williams - Sonoma and Restoration Hardware.

Sev

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I think the bottom line is that people shouldn't be displaying things on their cars that might serve as a dangerous distraction for another driver.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Some state legislator in western Maryland already tried to have them banned in Maryland. It didn't get far and his bill was pretty much laughed out of the statehouse. I think the things are stupid and tacky, but not worth legislation. Now, giant wings and chrome, on the other hand...

Jerseylicious

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: I have an autism awareness ribbon magnet on my car, and a sticker that says "Live Aloha." The only other car accoutrement I find amusing are the bumper stickers that say "In case of the rapture, can I have your car?" Only because 98.353% of the people 'round where I grew up have the "In case of rapture, this car will be driverless" stickers.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @LadySkittlehattington: Yes, please can we outlaw the fake bullets, baseballs, etc. through the window. Also the "my child is an honor student at _______ elementary," and those stupid ones you buy at truck stops that say things like "don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield." Oh, and ALL "W. The President" stickers.

Ok, really I'm a first amendment absolutist, so I would support no such ban. But all of the above irritate me.

blackbirdfly

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: The one thing I hate more than everything mentioned here is that black square sticker with the big white W that says "W The President." I don't know why that one more than the others pisses me off, but I want to literally strangle anyone who has that on their car.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @leMaldeTete: (proofreading is for the nutless)

leMaldeTete

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> If men had anything to do with it, yeah, I do think they'd have no problem with us driving around with labia on our cars. Of course, accident occurrences may rise, but still...

lurkystars

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @athertonmerriweather: In NY too. I think it was the Opie and Anthony show that was all about the WOW. I have no idea if they are even around anymore, however. Regardless, "Ewwwwwwwwww!!!."

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Thankfully truck testes are not in style here. I'm more concerned that drivers in Brooklyn don't utilize their turn signals.

mocksun

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @meaghan2k: *Jesus Loves You

LOOK AT BANNER, MICHAEL

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mcemmie: Good point. They probably keep them behind the counter to deter adolescent shoplifters, don't you think?

"Hey, Hal. Toss me down one of them truck nuts. Naw, not the metal ones, the pink rubber nuts. I want 'em to like like mine."

And then the man proceeds with his plastic nuts to the grocery store next door, where he refuses to buy his wife a box of tampons.

leMaldeTete

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @athertonmerriweather: ugh. I remember that far too well. Seriously though, I would hope our government (at all levels) had more important things to worry about than outlawing something really gross and silly.

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: my school was nicknamed "Rednexington." We had a truck row. The entire state of SC would cease to function if you took away all rednecks' licenses.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @LadyNo: The larger the truck nuts, the smaller the driver's cock.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: I am with you on the Calvin pissing on shit thing. THAT IS NOT WHAT CALVIN STANDS FOR. It's a disgrace to have him doing that. Next thing you know, furries are going to start dressing up like Hobbes.

I'm also anti-the following:

-Any ribbon of any fucking kind on a car.
-Any environmental sticker on a car. Guess what? You driving that thing ain't helping.
-Anti-choice stickers
-Jesus Love You stickers
-Mean People Suck stickers
-BABY ON BOARD OH I HATE THOSE
-Stickers endorsing any political candidate
-W.O.W stickers.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @mcemmie: Chances are, if they're planning to hang them from the trucks, they're not too shy about buying them. They're probably dicks about it making all kinds of nonsensical jokes.

MissSamAdams

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @heylady: oh I agree with you there - like VA has resolved all other problems in the state. please.

summerwheatley

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @athertonmerriweather: *that* makes me want to crawl back into bed.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> OMG, I remember the first time I saw bumper balls, ugggg. My two sons thought they were so funny, but these are the two that laughed so hard the first time they saw a Dicks Sporting Goods store!

redvwbug

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Or any reference to Dale, Dale Jr. or any other NASCAR driver.

In fact, maybe if we just took away rednecks' licenses, we wouldn't have a problem.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> There's a truck that parks in my building's parking ramp that has these. We always wonder whose it is. So crude. So wrong. And it pretty much confirms the whole "car as an extension of the penis" thing.

LadyNo Fondles Sweaters

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> i fucking despise those things.Theyre all over the place in Orlando- I saw one on some loser's truck the other day and it looked like he made it himself. Super stupid, especially when they're blue.

Seriously, its not!

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> In Boston, there were two radio dj's that proclaimed Wednesday to be Whip It Out Wednesday. People would write WOW on the windows of their cars so girls would flash them and they would return the favor. It was outlawed, but I have a feeling they would be all over this sort of thing. It's only a matter of time...

AthertonMerriweather

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I wonder if it's awkward for men to purchase these. How funny would it be to see some tough redneck guy handling a pair of nuts at the AutoZone.

Emmie of Doom

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Wait, you guys really support a law against this? Come on. This is a waste of the legistlative branch.

HeyLady

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @amy1971: We should just let them leave them on their trucks. It is a convenient marker of assholes to be avoided.

Leiakat

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @hushnowcharlotte: Haha that's me, too. I try to get as close to the car as possible so I can read them. I've even switched lanes to give myself a better angle when I've suspected a sticker was anti-choice. I am just too fascinated.

SarahMC

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> The first time I saw trucknuts (how wrong does THAT sound?) was while driving through Brooklyn of all places, and I was all, "Honey, why does that truck have dangling testicles? And who's the moron driving it?"

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> How small does your dick have to be to put plastic balls on your truck?

Or is it simply some weird Red State gay pick up thing?

drunkexpatwriter

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @LadySkittlehattington: or the team/US flags on the windows and the gigantic magnets on the sides of cars. Ugh.

summerwheatley

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @Reluctant Financier: Ooooo you might want to think twice about the cross-post. Last time the results were not so good.

BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz!

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Hmm...out here they don't hang replicas of human balls but actual steer balls, which for some reason seems far more acceptable to me.

sumac

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> The thing I am thinking as I am riding behind some nitwit shithead with these on his hitch is this....

"Exactly what, Sir, are you hoping this says about you?"

Because it sure as hell isn't "I am a great guy with a terrific sense of humor and a huge IQ that you would do well to consider a great catch."

And if you're hoping it says," I am frat boy with a frat boy sense of humor and all I want to do is show you how big my dick is"....WHY????

I guess there are....women out there who might find this amusing and attractive...MAYBE...but I am not one of them...and I don't want them in my face...YOU ASSHATS.

Go Virgina...Please pass the word asap to the legislature here in KY...thanks.

hannah2007

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @emily.jayne: sorry EJ, to repeat your point. I concur.

hushnowcharlotte

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> He's gonna filibust some balls and ain't no one stoppin' him.

tallyhoe

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Whaaaa? Is this seriously such a big deal that it needs to be outlawed? It's just immature and stupid. Why not let stupid, immature people continue to identify themselves as such by putting giveaways on their cars?

Personally I would rather anti-choice bumperstickers be outlawed, I know I'm a serious hazard when I'm craning my neck to read whatever horrible thing is printed on them, and the ensuing rage is no joke.

hushnowcharlotte

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @BiscuitDoughJones: Or those fake "baseball/golfball through the windshield" thingys.

Lady Skittlehattington

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> But if they outlaw these, nobody will be immediately spot the trashiest driver on the road. Which would be a huge problem for society...

emily.jayne

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Those things are indeed idiotic, but: [achewood.com]

phalex

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> They don't have any in their pants, so they hang them on their trucks.

amy1971

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> @DorothyZbornak: Or Calvin peeing on rival automakers logos? Or Calvin praying? Or huge Old English letters that say "Velasquez" across the back windshield? Or car mods of pretty much any kind?
I'm a fascist.

BiscuitDoughJones

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I don't understand men's obsession with their own genitalia anyways. I have no desire to put boob stickers on my headlights.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I'm confused. Men attach prosthetic genitalia to their vehicles? What on earth for? To maybe proclaim that it's a 'male' car? I know the straights have this odd connection with their vehicles, but this is just unnatural.
Perhaps we should cross-post this on Jalopnik and get some feedback?

Intern Kevin

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I was wondering when they would do something about those.

He claims the big balls are a safety issue, because drivers can get distracted.

Can you imagine someone being hypnotized by a set? Hahahaha! :-)

msb2: blue balls machine

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Um, there goes my breakfast.
@meaghan2k: I'm so with you on that!

BeAgrestic

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> YES!!!!! JUSTICE IN OUR TIME!!!!! SUCK ON THIS, YOU REDNECK FUCKWITS! AHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!
Srsly, I've nearly casued accidents from giving Truck Nutters the Bitchface of Death for having these sick things on their trailer hitches.

BiscuitDoughJones

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Can they outlaw those fake bullet holes too? I hate those.

DorothyZbornak

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Yeah, not too child friendly, I find...

MissSamAdams

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> I've seen trucks with METAL balls swinging in the back. It makes me want to ram my Civic right into those assholes.

meaghan2k

]]> <![CDATA[That's Nuts]]> Ugh, I hate these. Trashy.

KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins

]]>