<![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I LOVE YOUR DRESS!
And that hula hooper sounded TALENTED. Jealous on both accounts, but that hot dress is more practical. Want.

Tiny-Moves

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @hortense: Can we please get a regular feature on Porn Star or Jersey Ho?

I concur.

Cunning_Linguist

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I love love love the Valerie Cherish reference.
I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!


ampg

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Naked hula hooping and bondage clowns. I've GOT to get to Vegas.

P.S. SM, you are adorable. Come to Austin and teach me how to put on eyeliner.

lolly71

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Hands down the juiciest AVN round up I've read, and I've read em all! You give me reason to live after not attending myself and renewed drive to try again and make it next year! Sounds like it was well worth the pain.

Tony

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @cheri: omg thank you! i thought i was going a little blind.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Are your eyes really that green? And thanks for the bathroom stories! NICE.

Charity Froggenhall

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: yea that's totally sunset thomas. I'm addicted to that show. she gained a lot of weight!

Bianca_Cheri

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Are you guys hiring?

Supermodel Hungry

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @pink_orchid: worried*

pink_orchid_martini

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @meaverly: good point! i was more owrried about the lightning bolt and plagues that would descend from garbaging a bible. im no angel but i couldnt do that.

pink_orchid_martini

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Is it strange that while reading this all I could think off was those segments on Fraggle Rock where Uncle Traveling Matt would write back to Gobo about life in "outer space"?

SouthernSatine

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine looks so good all the time. Whatever effort is put into the physical ensemble is worth it.

My major gripe: She fucking narced on a sex party for not letting her in. How has no one called her out on that yet?

lesbiansayswhat

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @pink_orchid: I cringed because she didn't recycle it!

But really, the thing I took away most from the whole convention is that there will never be a time when we are all turned on by one type of girl, one type of guy, one type of movie, one type of fetish, etc. Oddly, porno is incredibly inclusive.

Thanks for making this point. It's something Dan Savage talks about all the time, but I always wanted to get a lady's opinion on it.

meaverly

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> It's been said already, but I have a major girl crush on you, Ms. SM. Btw, how do you make your hair so shiny and free of flyaways? Jealous minds want to know.

LeDee

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> the only thing that made me cringe was that you threw out the bible. growing up in a faithful house i cringed. your braver than i SM. otherwise awesome post.

pink_orchid_martini

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> - I think the Jesus porn people disturb me the most

- Doesn't that girl to the right of Flynt look like Sunset Whatshername? From Cathouse? Dennis Hof's last gf? (or is that just me?)

- whatevs, my tits are bigger than hers

- I LOVE Tamra's hair! I really love that there's an arrow pointing right where the dude shot his wad!

- Aww, yay Stormy! I like her, she's hot even with the teef.

- Oy, I feel you on the tailbone and hip bruising. I was assaulted by the railing in an elevator over the course of a week once. Never seems like a bad idea at the time though.

Yeah, the Jesus porn people def disturb me the most.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> This post had everything I love about leaving my house; martinis and coke, random quasi-celebrity sightings, overt yet translucent sexual themes, and genuine admiration for people just bein' who they wanna be.
Slut Machine, you are so righteous.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> That black dress you donned for the awards belies your slut-machine-ness. Love, rugburns from the PCP [www.pornclownposse.com]

Rugburns

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> "I'm not gonna let some little 5'2 loser in PVC hot pants and goggles tell me I'm not cool enough to go to your FUCKING PARTY"

Inkymonkey

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Zak Smith's GF is Mandy Morbid and she makes some way hot free porn on her website. Also, you rock terribly hard Slut Machine. I love that your writing is sexy and matter of fact. Lurved you in Bust and luvre you here, girl.

Ladyboots

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine, you're Jezebel's official Ambassador of All Things Sexual and Cool. Rock on, girrrlll!!!

CapricornOne

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

ManhattanManHatin'

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Not exactly surprised Drunken Stepfather is a fat shut-in type.

Nicolars

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @crescentia07: Tell me about it. I once got charged an extra $10 door fee for wearing blue jeans to a goth club.

Cam/ron

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> The part about the party you tried to get into cracked me up because it sounded just like what the goth scene is all about these days. They don't want to be judged by people and yet they are doing the same thing. Also, good for you for having some dirty sex. I'm going to be flying to Australia within the year to bang a hot guy that I've known online for a while. I wish I could cum like you can. Lucky wench.

crescentia07

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> You can buy the 400 thread count sheets for $20 at almost any street fair in NY.

Lymed

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I need to get laid too. I've been crazy boy hungry for the past 2 weeks. Grr...

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> This was the highlight of my day. I loved that you not only noticed the old gay man's balls hanging out of his shorts, but you called him out on it. I f-in love it.

mooseballs

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I justs lol-ed in my african-american history class reading this. Slut machine u totally rock!

brooklynchi

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I am so pregnant, and I couldn't drink or get any other kind of recreational fun at New Year's, and my feet are like sausages, and it takes me five minutes to get up off the damn couch. THANK YOU, Slut Machine, for the best vicarious trip EVER. Rock on.

TaraLee

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I just got back from Vegas and it sounds a lot like my trip complete with the bathroom bang and being late for my plane....we should go together next time!

Boogie Down in London Town

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine, you are stunning. The straight boys of the world are so lucky.

whynotshesaid

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Somehow I think that if you actually did a porn star it wouldn't be all that exciting. Here's hoping we find out, anyhoo.

Trillian

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Sexual clowns are just WRONG - the psycho-sexual meanings kill me. It's akin to a performance artist, (dawned in an American flag bikini and KKK hood), who pointed dildos at me like six-shooters at an artist party in SF.

Anyhow, SM your Irish wit just makes you sexier.

Cam/ron

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> SM - great recap! next time maybe fold up a towel so you don't bang your hip bones so bad. those take forever to heal.

phantom lady

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine, as everyone else has said, you're totally hot and that dress is totally awesome on you.

TinyK

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> i'm really digging the next to last picture, the one where you're holding the tickets, because it looks like that light fixture is growing out of your head. i wish i could wear the kind of bangs you have, but i have a big stupid cowlick.

kittenfoo

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> About shaving ass hair- a friend of mine called it an "ass mullet" when a lady shaves her vadge and doesn't groom the nether regions.

I really want to know where April got that dress because it's fucking amazing.

biancajames

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine, you're hot.

katastic

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @flackette: It sort of looks like Nars' Orgasm, since it's got a nice slightly shimmery thing happening, but more pink. Maybe that's a good way to mimic it, since the actual blush is not really get-able. Anybody else have suggestions? BDJ?

I love that I read this thing about porn and banging and all I can think is "Yeah, penises, squirting, whatever. SM is purty. Must totes bite her style."

dorsia

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Tailbone bruises are the WORST. I got mine from falling on a bunch of folded-up pizza boxes like 3 months ago, and it still hurts. Good luck with that! At least you have a better story to go with it than I do.

tell Dolly Parton again

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @slut machine: please please tell us (me) how you got your boobs to look that great in the marciano dress. are you wearing a bra? (because it kind of looks like you're not) and if not then what and if yes which bra? sorry to be kind of nosy, I have a serious issue with sexy dresses since it's so hard for me to wrangle my boobs in them without a bra and sexy dresses are normally bra prohibitive.

hushnowcharlotte

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> OMG, I've been waiting for this on the edge of my seat, which now seems a boring way to bruise my tailbone!! It is insane you met Drunken Stepfather, I wouldn't know whether to hug him or hit him. Thanks, SM, for the vicarious adventures!

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Awesome post! And extra, extra points for the Valerie Cherish quote. I've got Aunt Sassy in my head now.

threedollarbill

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @slut machine:
I would kill for your dimples. They are the hotness.
I am green with dimple envy.

dandelionbrowne

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> oh i got that blush for free in like 2003 from the place i used to work. i think i'm not even supposed to be using it anymore. doesn't makeup have an expiration date? i can't remember the name of the company, and all the info is rubbed off on it. (hehe. rubbed off.)

it was some company that made their make up with this like bondage theme as cutesy joke, so the lipstick had this little flogging whip on the cap, and the blush is supposed to look like a handcuff, with a lock on it. sorry, that's all i got. i just use it cause it's pink.

Slut Machine

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @thanksluckystars: but I guess that's what your blog is for...

thanksluckystars

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I honestly just want a "Sexual Adventures of SM" post every day.

thanksluckystars

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> My lord, Tracie, you're gorgeous. I hate you. Bitch.
Wait... does this count as judging someone based on looks ? Is this going to be deleted ? Damn it !

piank

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> SM, I too want to know what blush you are wearing. You look adorable.

manic pixie flackette

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @dandelionbrowne: Oh dear. Oh ...god no.

hatepaperdoll

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I once worked as a convention girl for a Boat show, and one of my fellow car girls (there were cars at the boat show) talked about her time working as a convention girl for the Adult convention show. She was all, "there were NAKED people! I quit after an hour!" but my curiosity was piqued, and I felt cheated all I had to ogle were boats. Anyways, SLUT MACHINE YOU RULE! For filling in the gaps. So to speak. heh heh.

oryx

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> It truly was epic. Way to go SM!

The HZA

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Dan Dearmond it is.

Anyhow, take care of that UTI and you look really cute.

Nigromancer

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Ahh, I love a good travelogue.

CitizenMom

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @hatepaperdoll:
The sex clowns: It seems to be an underground movement. i remember seeing some at the Mermaid Parade a couple of years ago. It's three shades of just plain wrong.

dandelionbrowne

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Random thoughts:
*Holy unnatural boobs!
*Best Ethnic-Themed Release, Black: should be an Oscar category
*"Porn Star or Jersey Ho"--should be a new feature, if only for pics of girls in clear heels!
*While I applaud her talents, hula hoop girl needs to slow down...remember girls we don't have to multi-task!

The only pics that disturbed me were the clowns.

I.Can. Haz.Black.Editors?

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> How do you do your make-up? It's gorgeous.

ifoughtpiranhas

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I'll go next year just for the playparty! Fisting on the table? That sounded hot :)

nex0s

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Hey, we have the same dress (the grey one) I fucking love that dress, it always looks good, I think it's the pleating around the sleeves.

The sex clowns: How does that happen to your life? How?

Lastly, I want whatever April Flores is drinking.

hatepaperdoll

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> "I'm not gonna let some little 5'2 loser in PVC hot pants and goggles tell me I'm not cool enough to go to your FUCKING PARTY"

I want to use this line in the future. Not sure when or how, but I'm using it.

Nice recap!

Sally Tomato

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> It's Dana alright. I just checked in with some of my peeps. Good for her.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Oh, and by the way-- Slut Machine, you are such a hottie! I've quite the girl crush on you. Don't worry, I live too far away to stalk you in any serious fashion. Yet.

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> yes. if i looked that good on five hours of sleep...

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @hortense: and killer makeup! I have makeup application skillz of a 3 year old.

summerwheatley

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine, I love you. And yeah, you do look super cute in all the pictures!

SniperAndAPastryChef

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @tailfeather: hahaha. not me.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Girl, you look hot in that dress! Not many people can pull that off!

TruculentandUnreliable

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I almost went to the Beauty Bar party too. I guess I missed my chance to hang with the stars.... fucking Halo 3.

Tenno

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> The woman in the white outfit with the winnebagos-- ouchie ouchie ouch. And, the why-bother pasties look awful low on the horizon, don't they?

AbbyNormal

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Can I just say...Slut Machine...you are a fucking STUNNER. Seriously.

LessThanZero

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Also, still wondering what that blush is SM. Looks fierce on teh pale skin (which I have lots of!)

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @hortense: I second the "Porn Star or Jersey Ho" feature. It can be like the Do's and Don't's (?!) in whatever magazine does that, with the blurry face square and everything.

stacyinbean

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I have a bruise on my tailbone (tailfeather?) too, SM. But this is due to an IKEA standard issue kitchen table and I wish it was a marble sink in Vegas.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @dandelionbrowne:
Hee hee.


mollsmolls

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> You need to rest, dear. That's a lot to do in a few days.

badmutha

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> I can't let my boyfriend read this one because he's imaginary.

Can I plz has your job?

dandelionbrowne

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Great recap!! What did you think of the abby winters girls?? Were they really a hit at the convention??

DontFearTheReaper

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Slut Machine -You are AWESOME!!!

mightymouth

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @incurable paranoiac: I take it this is a throwback to your moniker? Is it Dana? OR IS IT YOU?

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Ok, so, I can't let my boyfriend read this one because I think he's falling in love with you. Sorry.

mollsmolls

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> They used to have the Electronic Media convention and the AVN Convention overlap, at convention centers next door to each other. My dad would go to both, and bring back presents, from both.

I have to say my favorite was the dirtywhitegirls.com lighter. He must really love me.

CriscoDisco

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> That woman's boobs look so, so painful.

Also: Can we please get a regular feature on Porn Star or Jersey Ho? The hilarity potential is limitless.

And finally: Killer dress, killer nails, killer rundown.

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> that woman's breasts make me want to die. that is all.

FourthWaveBaby

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Dude. I'm pretty sure that's Dana.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> @hamsterpants: Also, you look really cute in those pics, Slut Machine.

Hamsterpants

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Ah - getting laid vicariously. Thanks SM!

sybann

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Goddamn I need to get laid.

Susan B.

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Was the girl in that picture with those british dudes named Dana? Because there used to be this girl named Dana who looked creepily like me in photos (IRL i'm half her height) and she used to always post photos of herself giving head and stuff and it was scary because they looked like photos of me giving head and I was scared my dad would see them.

incurable paranoiac

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> Take care of that ass, girl. Take a bath! Romance your stone.

buggeroff

]]> <![CDATA[The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More]]> DAY-UM. That's all I've got. Wow.

Hamsterpants

]]>