<![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have - Jezebel Comments]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I got back at my ex who cheated on me with physical revenge, but it happened in the best way possible: In a judo class we were both taking at the time.

He didn't want us taking judo together cuz it was supposed to be "his thing". Plus he didn't think I could handle it b/c I'm like 5'9" but only 125lbs. and too much of a "girly girl". But I was better at him at it, plus I had more stamina, and when I found out he'd been cheating on me for like a month w/some little skank (and he wanted ME to drop judo b/c it would be "too awkward" to see each other each week), I told him no way was i quitting...and then we had an in-class tournament at the end of the year and I asked the sensei to let me fight in the guy's bracket, and he knew what i was getting at and let me fight my ex in the very first round.

He outweighed me by at least 40 lbs. but I knew the moves better than he did and i'm faster, and I tired him out, and in front of the whole class (plus his little skank GF who happened to be watching that day) I eventually caught him with a leg sweep and after a long struggle on the mat, I pinned him.

The whole class knew what a bastard he'd been and were cheering for me and he was so humiliated by losing to a skinny blond girl (that he used to date and thought of only as 'eye candy') that he almost cried. He also never came back to class after that.

I have to admit--it felt pretty great!

jenster4

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> First of all i had too much to drink. Second of all things had just seemed different with my boy lately. Third he wasn't answering his phone. Fourth, his friend told me that he didn't want to be with me and he was at home with another girl.
So i jumped into a cab with no money. Ran out at a red light. Used my set of keys to get into his appartment. Confronted him. Slapped his glasses off his face. Bite him repeated so hard that he imediately bruised. Got out a kitchen knife. He threatened to call the cops on me and i called his bluff knowing he had too much blow in his appartment to want to bring cops in. He threw out all my shit and called my roommate to come get me.


warriorette

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I've been punched in the nuts and kicked in the nuts before in k-12 school by females. I'm a kind-hearted man, but then again, maybe I deserved it for acting like an obnoxious boy. What makes what I said really odd, though, is that I've never been in a relationship with any female.

jovan-b

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Why can't we just say some people deserve physical violence and leave it at that?

Picture the following scenario: a man cheats on a girl with her friend, steals money from her, trashes her apartment, then shows up drunk one night and begins to verbally abuse her. She snaps, grabs the nearest heavy object (an umbrella) and begins to hit him repeatedly. Leaves some bruises, no serious injuries. Verdict? Legally, probably assault. Morally? She gets my vote.

Now reverse the genders. I don't think a guy would be any more morally guilty of resorting to violence than a woman.

In each case, do I think it would be better if the injured party had just walked out the door instead of resorting to violence? Sure. But I also think that violence here is justified.

miss.terious

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> i scanned the studies and did not see anything that suggests that we teach our girls that it's ok and even fun to hit boys. when you consider the numbers in the "differences" study wherein the number of unprovoked incidences females were likely to be the aggressor, well, gotta consider what the males are considering "unprovoked". (i just did her best friend, so what's wrong with that!?) sometimes a well-placed smack upside the head is the only recourse a woman has. doesn't make it right. also i would venture to say that the majority of women who are continually violent and abusive have serious and possibly undiagnosed mental problems. i believe the same is true for men who try to work out their issues by blackening their partners' eyes. that was not included in the study.

lastly, having been in a violent relationship, i can't say that i was totally without fault and that i didn't provoke him even though i didn't retaliate physically. when a man has you up against the wall by the throat, and you look him in the eyeballs and say "go ahead, god knows you need something to make you feel like a man"...well, can't say i was guiltless. i didn't provoke him into the state he was in, but i sure did exacerbate it. and i learned to push for the inevitable blowup to get it over with. he never felt that he was at fault for his failure to control his temper, be it with humans, animals, cars, whatever he took his wrath out on. he could be charming at times, but he was also seriously disturbed and refused to get help.

so let's take the mentally ill out of the studies and what do you have left? it doesn't take a doctorate to know when someone is a psycho. the best thing a person can do for themselves is to get the flyin' flip out of a relationship before they get legally entangled, then reproduce and everything becomes so much more complicated...the "make up sex" ain't worth it.

curisa

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> "What recent study?" Well you might find several right here.

Or maybe it was referring to the 2007 study written by four members of the Centers for Disease Control, and published in the American Journal of Health, entitled, "Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence." Four researchers with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention analyzed data on 11,370 young US adults regarding 18,761 heterosexual relationships and found, "In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Reciprocity was associated with more frequent violence among women, but not men."

johndias

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> [quote]BTW, a recent study found that with teens, boys were now more likely to be sexually assaulted by girlfriends than the reverse. We teach our boys to not hit girls, respect them and no means no but we have taught our girls that hitting boys is OK and even fun, if he says no then mock and harass him and we wonder why society is so screwed up anymore?[/quote]

Say what?? What recent study? Or, Gee, wonder who that study was sponsored by; or "Let's play "find the fallacy". Q0352, I don't doubt that you were in a messed-up relationship with a woman with 0 impulse control. But to say that women in general teach their girls that it's ok to be a PT and that hitting boys is "fun"? Didja get that from your "recent study" too? As the mother of a grown daughter, may I be the first to point out how full of crap that statement is!

curisa

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I had an abusive ex-wife and one thing that seems to be missed by many of the ladies here is a man doesn't DARE hit back. We are in a bind that if we don't hit back then we are wimps, if we do then we are wimps for hitting a woman. If we hit back, then the police will arrest us, courts hammer us and we go to jail. If we report a woman beating the crap out of us and don't hit back, the police are unlikely to believe us over her and unless she admits to it all, then we are still likely to be the ones tossed in jail.

Bragging about hitting a man really doesn't say much and complaining that women are abused more than men and making excuses for it is worse. Study after study shows women are more likely to be the only violent one in a relationship but then look at the arrest rates showing men are the ones arrested. And if we do ask for help, the shelters and everything else just laugh men off.

My children and I really appreciated all the help I was refused even when there were plenty of marks on us. Lord knows they all acted rapidly enough to help the ex when she made numerous false claims though.

If a slap is abuse, it doesn't matter what gender the abuser is supposedly but you can see a lot of bragging about it from ladies here who would scream hard if they received what they brag about giving. I just hope you don't raise your own daughters to be like that but you likely will.

BTW, a recent study found that with teens, boys were now more likely to be sexually assaulted by girlfriends than the reverse. We teach our boys to not hit girls, respect them and no means no but we have taught our girls that hitting boys is OK and even fun, if he says no then mock and harass him and we wonder why society is so screwed up anymore?

Quentin0352

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Would each of you who have hit your boyfriends/husbands be willing to disclose your true name and location? I think it would show, more than ever, how tough you really are. I would admire you for that. Oh, and also times and dates -- that would really show you mean business. You're empowered and not to be fucked with -- you'll even boast about it in the open!

I personally only consider a woman empowered if she can openly admit that she hits her man, including identities, times, and dates. Sooooooo sexy.

Come on, don't wimp out, ladies! Details, please!

johndias

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @robyns: Yes it did, and thanks for asking! I had still been spat upon, but from that point forward in our small town in Kansas it was acknowledged to be unhealthy to view me as a spittoon. Like I said, I'd be more ashamed if I'd just cried. I really wish he didn't hit my best friend though. She'd gone 20 years and never been hit by a man. This brought up memories, so today I asked an old friend from that town what happened to him. He's sitting on the hill, in his mother's house (she passed on) and nobody dares drive down the road because he shoots at them. Psycho.

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @girlfromthenorthcountry: i think we may be the same person.
angry 8-year-old becomes a rather healthy 25-year old, so why do these lash-out impulses still exist?

nadarine

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @dingosmom1: Does hitting someone for spitting in your face make the situation better?

robyns

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Atta girl!

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus:I will throw a plastic laundry hamper at your head, bite your hand and whip you once with your leather belt if you ever rain on our parade like this again.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> i've slapped a man and it felt good. better than the time i threw an ipod box to his face (the corner got his eye).

wring

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I was teased a ridiculous amount as a child and always responded by wanting to hit the kid teasing me. As an adult, I've reacted that way to boyfriends who tease and it scares the crap out of me that I can so easily revert to a freaked out 9-year old. I've never done more than hit a guy on the arm hard enough to mildly hurt, but have realized that I simply can't be around people who can easily reduce me to that state. I don't hit anyone anymore.

LadyPants

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: I don't think Kurticumaximus was applying that argument to sexual assault and self-defense. In that situation, I say slap away!

Catty Is Cumbersome

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: Hahaha, sorry.

In that case, everybody can feel free to throw virtual object at my head. Only one shot each, though. Let's not get carried away.

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> "Yes, please, let's not forget the poor men, who make up a whopping 15% of the domestic violence victims (nonsarcastic saide: this includes situations in which the violence is mutual, or the woman used violence in response to violence), who are far less likely to be hurt by domestic violence given the differences in size and strength between most men and women, and who aren't laboring under lifetimes of oppressive gender hierarchy. I'm glad that you raised awareness of this terrible scourge so that we can convince the public that more of the ample, nay, surplus of resources that we throw at alleviating domestic violence against women can now be re-channeled to help the poor, oppressed men. Thank you. Thank you for thinking of the dudes."

Dear Petronella,

The above is an example of what is called "moral relativism." It sucks. It's also such a sloppy argument it's difficult to know where exactly to even start addressing the issues.

If "A" is larger than "B", "B" does not disappear.

Women do not own victimization. No one group does. Period.

Nowhere did Jezebel suggest re-channeling anything to help male victims of domestic violence. Nowhere did any of the respondents suggest this. Many of them were reminiscing about their experiences in the sort of jovial way frat boys do made-up sex with imaginary girls.

I'm gay. If I punch you in the face, is that okay because theoretically there's more het-on-homo violence than there is the other way around, so statistically, it doesn't matter and furthermore I'm oppressed by heterosexual gender roles?

I once worked with an Israeli who told me that gays killed by the Nazis weren't part of the holocaust, because they were killed for lifestyle choices rather than ethnic reasons. Furthermore, whereas Jewish victims were family-oriented property owners who made positive contributions to the community, homosexuals were renters, lived alone, and spread sexually transmitted diseases.

Perhaps you should date.

RollsRoycehead-on

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: I think most of us might agree with you.

But now you're just spoiling all our fun.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Hitting is hitting. It doesn't matter who is the hittee and who is the hitter. Saying that women can't inflict as much damage on men because of their relative sizes is total bullshit and doesn't excuse the lack of control people exhibit if they hit their significant others. If this was a comment thread with a bunch of men writing about the "funny times" they hit their exes, or threw something at them, we'd be up in arms about it.

cabber

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @collegecallgirl: i've been creeped by a few cabbies, enough so that i've had them drop me off around the corner from my apartment so they wouldn't know where i live, but never molested. that must have been intensely scary. i'm really sorry that happened to you.

even with the self defense training my lady-power gym teachers gave me, i'm not sure i would know how to handle a sitting situation...i guess grab, twist, pull could still apply. i've thankfully never been in a place where i had to use any of that training. if i were you, i'd maybe look into some sort of self-defense class. i know it could all seem hokey, but it's nice to know you have the resources available.

lucyjae

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @melliejellybelly et al: I'm not saying violence as self-defense isn't acceptable. Nor am I saying violence in response to violence isn't at least understandable.

It's just that there seems to be a certain belief that a woman can hit her boyfriend during an argument, but the man must refrain from hitting her. Neither party should escalate the situation into violence (which would include some of the provocations listed by many commenters, I think), but responses to previous violence are another thing.

It's more the double-standard that I take issue with. If the woman starts a physical fight, but accepts that the guy can and will fight back, then it's really no different than a fight between two guys. Granted, physical violence is probably not the healthiest way to sort out an argument, but I just have a problem with the premise that person A should be able to beat person B while person B is not allowed to fight back.

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @shuffler: You're right, there is no excuse for violence, especially if it's just because your b'f/hubby/whatever is irritating you. My first comment was about a slap to the face that I did, and still do feel terrible about. But my comment to KurticusMaximus was my reaction re: "As for the whole "but men are stronger/hit harder/etc" argument - I've never once heard anyone argue that scrawny guys should be able to hit women."

I have had the displeasure of being in a very unhealthy relationship when I was very young with a much older guy. This charming fellow wanted me to 'service him' every morning and when I didn't he would just help himself. Needless to say but I was too young and dumb then to know what my options really were, all I did know was that along with being bigger and stronger than I was (although I did put up one HELL of a fight every time) he also had the advantage of having this built in weapon, which he could use to violate my body anytime he wanted.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @jobsworth: Hee :) I always say that to him and he's all "AHAHHAAHA I CAN'T HELP IT AHAHAHAHAHA!!!" But he totally retaliates by being all "Baaaabe? Can I have a beeeeeer?" And then I feel bad for being a tickling monster and get it for him. It works. :)

hellodarling!

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: That's what I like to see, a man of wisdom that learns from the lessons of those that went before. Good man indeed. May you be spared the fury of young women with medievally named weapons!

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: i do agree with you on this. i know that never, ever is it ok to hit anyone to "get their attention" or "make a point" (ok, with the exception of one's brother when you're both preadolescents, that's just being a bratty kid). and yet, i know too many women who throw a little smack out and don't feel that it's really "hitting". (wow, i've used far too many quotation marks already.)
and if the bf slapped me just as i've- thakfully infrequently and very guiltily- slapped him, i'd freak out. that's why i'm so conflicted about my physical temper. but i DO think that if i hit someone, i'd best get ready to be smacked back. same goes for hitting any friend of mine- i can't hit someone and not expect physical retaliation.

*but i do see the difference between a "i hate you, you stupid bitch" smack and a "god, stop yelling biggie smalls lyrics already when i've told you to stop for five minutes!" smack. call it rationalizing, but i think the former is abuse and the latter is losing one's temper in a normal, albeit very regrettable, way.

nadarine

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @dingosmom1: Um, ok. I wasn't really planning on spitting on anyone, shellelagh or not, but that's good advice.

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> ThaKadinskyPapers: How does slapping your boyfriend correlate with knowing a man would rape you, especially when the boyfriend is not that man?

I am all for self-defense and smacking someone when they spit on you, hit you, etc. But if you are intelligent enough to write about that ex boyfriend who said some demeaning shit to you or cheated on you, then you are intelligent enough to get the f*ck out of a shitty situation.

I do not deny that as women, we are the oppressed class, but it doesn't excuse physical violence against men who annoy us.

Catty Is Cumbersome

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @mccauller: "If he hates it so much, why does he laugh so hard?" - that made me laugh my ass off. My brother used to say that to me when I was a kid. He'd only stop when the hysterical laughing descended into sobs.

jobsworth

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: Violence is violence, but there is a difference between unprovoked violence, and violence as a result of EXTREME provocation. I would never have hit my ex just to exert my power over him (like he did at one point in time). The reason he - and all of the other men in these stories got hit was for pushing me to the absolute edge. For the record, I fully expected that after I hit him, he would hit me back. Those are the rules.

melliejellybelly

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> If anyone is wondering, shillelagh comment above was meant for Kurticus Maximus. I hope robins is opposed to violence because my shillelagh days are over. I'm never hitting anybody again. Ummm, unless they hit me first. Then it's game on.

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> After reading the flood of extreme zero-tolerance comments to yesterday's grey-rape redux, I'm amazed to see the same community laughing about domestic violence directed against men...
The same way it should never be OK to have sex with non-consenting partners, it should never be OK to use violence in relationships, even if guys are "big and strong and your tiny little fists can't hurt them" (see picture accompanying post for counter-argument to that).

JimmyW

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I tried to run one of my ex's over with my car. After the gazillion fight that week, I was so sick of him. He walked out mid scream of mine, so I got in my car and went after him. The neighbor's yard fell victim to my wrath, unfortunately. And the poor woman was there gardening. She never said anything to me though. Wonder why HAHAHAHA

LeDee

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @nadarine: Are we the same person? Because, um, ditto, except substitute "high school" with "college."

Does it count as abuse if you mercilessly torture your boyfriend by tickling him until he can't breathe? If he hates it so much, why does he laugh so hard?! And I refuse to apologize for repeatedly trying to play-grab the ol' twig 'n' berries, because he refuses to quit grabbing the ladies every five seconds.

Wow, reading back over this, he puts up with a lot of shit from me - more seriously when I was drinking (13 days sober!) - but it's all in good fun. And it's hilarious to watch him squirm when ticklish. ALSO, you ladies are my hero(in)es, such as, verily. For the children.

hellodarling!

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @narymary: ugh i had a similar experience, dude did some really messed up things (throwing around furniture and household items, breaking shit, throwing things at me (though always "by accident, was aiming at wall"), JIZZING ON ME IN MY SLEEP, yelling, accusing me of weird stuff) and a couple times during his throwing-shit-around-the-house-drunkenly tirades i would try to restrain him. bad idea, he'd try to shove free which ended with me grabbing him however--by hair, too hard by arm--to get him to stop breaking my shit and his shit and injuring himself.

so of course he'd then accuse me of being violent and abusive to him for trying to restrain him. i basically stopped responding entirely to his rampages and started ignoring him so he didn't have that leg to stand on anymore which actually seemed to piss him off MORE.

so moral of my story to all these jezebel readers is, uh move the hell out the first time a dude jizzes on you while you're sleeping and then acts like it's no big deal when you're upset by this.

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: You're right. Violence is violence. And violence is usually wrong. But I can tell you that I don't feel one ounce of shame for what these women have written for the simple fact that too many of us have experienced the soul shattering fear that comes when you realize a man is evil enough to want to rape you.


ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @robyns: 1. I'm not bragging, I'm telling. 2. That SOB took plenty of shots at me when I was 18. 3. What are you supposed to do when someone spits in your face? 4. Don't spit on the girl with the shillelagh. Words to live by.

I'm not proud. I'm not ashamed either. I honestly think I'd be ashamed if I just let him spit on me and boohooed about it.

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @KurticusMaximus: You are right ... and I'm not proud of smacking up on an ex. I felt very ashamed afterwards. I'm sure a lot of women have ...

Jiboo

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Wow! All these stories are making me feel a little more ... normal ... about my own experiences with the girl-on-boy smackdown. I once had a complete loser boyfriend ... lazy, immature, annoying, you name it. When we lived together, he used to think it was cute to stay out half the night without even mentioning that he was going out. (This was in an era before everyone had cellphones.) But he would get pissy if he suspected I was giving another guy so much as a sidelong glance. Basically, he felt like I was supposed to take care of him not unlike a mother to a toddler, because he was freakin' whiny and useless.

Anyway, one day I had enough of his horses*** (I honestly can't even remember what triggered it, but I'm sure it was good) and I started beating the living s*** out of him. I felt really bad for losing control like that, but later realized it was much worse that I was with someone who could push my buttons that way.

(I have another ex who was sexually/mentally/verbally abusive, and if we ever cross paths again, he'd better pray there are no blunt objects or firearms nearby, 'cause I *will* take him out.)

Anyway, I've never hit another soul since then. I really hope I never do.

Jiboo

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Macloserboy: And a women can't kill? Are we too helpless to kill? Ugh, this is insulting on so many levels.

Catty Is Cumbersome

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Let it be noted that I've never thrown an alarm clock at my girlfriend's head. Just to be clear.

Full disclosure: when I was twelve-ish, I threw a fairly sizable plastic easter egg at my sister's back. I think that was actually the last time we fought or argued at all, it scared me so much.

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> You know what? Violence is violence.

The comments here that basically brag about beating guys with objects, or throwing things at them, are disgusting. If I said that I once threw an alarm clock at my girlfriend's head, I don't think the response would be very kind.

If men are expected to be mature enough not to hit women in anger, then women should be too.

As for the whole "but men are stronger/hit harder/etc" argument- I've never once heard anyone argue that scrawny guys should be able to hit women.

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I once punched a guy... It was my ex-husband and it was right after he told me that he wished I would give his girlfriend a chance because "the three of us could be such good friends." That SOB had it coming. He threatened to call the police and I told his sorry a** I wished he would. He decided against it.

melliejellybelly

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> larala: True, true. But women are pretty resourcefull too. Hurled objects can cause more damage than a fist. We really shouldn't create a double standard here.

Catty Is Cumbersome

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> "It's okay to hit a guy if he's asking for it!" is what I've learned today. Sounds a lot like what the abusers of our clients say. Guess we need to change our policies here.

And for the record, if a girl hits a guy she deserves to get hit back! Any girl that hit my brother, not only would she get hit back, she better watch her back if I'm around her again!

Is_it_that_serious

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @collegecallgirl:

For instance, I was molested by a cab driver who convinced me to get into the front seat (I was drunk and too trusting) and then started putting his hands in my dress. He was driving, so I guess it could have been dangerous to punch him in the face, but I wish I had had the nerve to do something besides say "no."

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @lucyjae:

I feel like I don't even have that instinct to self-protect, though. Maybe it's a repressed anger thing, but I genuinely can't imagine getting my ire up to deliberately hurt someone. I do wish I knew how to defend myself better.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @collegecallgirl: honey, maybe you should, just incase. we started in middle school gym class. i'll give you the "grab, twist, pull" portion of the lesson for free. i think you know what to grab, twist and pull as hard as you can. also, driving the palm of your hand into the bottom of his nose really hard is also effective in dire situations.

lucyjae

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @robyns: I see your point, however...in the relationships that most of these situations happen, the other person clearly does not have any true concern for our emotions or well being. If they did, they wouldn't perpetrate or perpetuate pushing our buttons to the point of feeling backed into a corner or feeling like a violent outburst is the only way to exert control in the situation.
With that said, yes there are men out there who are unfortunately abused as women are typically abused, and they are of the same mindset that they think no one will believe them or that it's done out of love. Most of the statistics aren't even accurrate for the violence done against men, because many of them are in denial and won't even admit on paper what's happened to them. It's not manly to be abused, nah mean?
HOWEVER, many men who have the ability to shit on you verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically won't take you seriously unless you use some type of physical tactic. Some men heed warning at screaming and seeing a shit show, others will merely laugh in your face.
I once freaked out when I caught a guy I had been dating in h.s. at a party with the girl - no, make that troll - he'd been cheating on me with. He had the nerve to bring her there, because she "bought the keg" and was his H hook-up (yeah, a REAL winner that one was). I was fall-down drunk and pushed him twice, the second knocking him over and hitting his head on a windowsill. Luckily for me, it didn't knock him out, but boy was he shocked. He never fucked with me again, after having playing mind games with me for 2 years.
After growing up in a house where I've seen the power of men who purposely push emotional buttons for the sheer enjoyment of it, I will say that 1) I will never stay in a relationship like that but 2) I will never be afraid to do what I need to do to get myself OUT of it.





B-NaNa

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I've never hit anyone, even times that I should have for self-defense. I don't think I even know how.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> i have a friend who goes ballistic about her "history" anytime she's anywhere near a fight. her history, mind you is the one time a boyfriend, with a really bad temper, tried to stop her from beating the shit out of him. no one should hit anyone, bottom line. however, if you feel like you can beat up on someone, you should prepare to get beat right back. and i do realize that girls are smaller, but even the tiniest of girls can inflict serious damage.

i also come from a line of men who don't stand for women being hit after they grew up seing my gramma get hit. an uncle actually spent the night in jail for beating the crud out of a guy who started hitting his wife in my other uncle's bar.

that being said, i kind of love that my mom taught me how to rabbit punch someone in the bridge of the nose for when they do really deserve it.

lucyjae

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> This is why I love you ladies soooo much. Because you go there and talk about this shit.

My last boyfriend crossed the line (showing up drunk, refusing to leave my place) so I beat the piss out of him with, unfortunately, my favorite umbrella. I am very embarrassed by it, it went too far.

Finally, I had to call the police in order to get him to leave. The result? He trashed my place in retaliation. The only way he kept his hands off me this time was the threat of an assualt charge. We had had violent encounters before, for which I blamed my bad temper, combined with his drinking and violent tendencies.

But this last time I recognized it was not simply my drama or inability to handle the situation. Something clicked, and it was over for me. I never want to have that experience within a relationship again.

The best part? Now I take kickboxing, get a great workout (with hot guys:), and I will never repeat those mistakes again.

Secretly, I'm glad I stood up for myself and kicked his ass. He's a punk with poor values heading down the wrong path. He'll get his doubletime.

brassinpocket

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @robyns: Not really, because despite all the bravado in these posts, these men in question most likely could have KILLED these women. They only lacked the will, not the ability.

Macloserboy

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I bounced an alarm clock off my husband's head from across the room once. I haven't been able to find a decent alarm clock since. Karma's a bitch.

kwindsorfish

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> So, if a woman hits a guy, should we start calling it "gray domestic assault?"

KurticusMaximus

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @f-words: So then, are women guilty of, say, GRAY violence? As such, for the children?

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @shiningstar: Aw. You can be my secret hero. And if some woman's beating on you, I'll take her on. Do old fashioned guys mind if a chick defends him, since he can't hit the woman pummeling him due to the chivalry code?

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Seriously? If these comments were from men celebrating their finest acts of physical violence against their partners, people would be going batshit insane with outrage, and rightfully so. Just because women aren't as strong as men doesn't men they can't do some serious harm. Especially if the dudes aren't fighting back, which in the majority of cases it sounds like they're not. Why is it then acceptable to physically assault men when they make women angry? Because they "deserve" it? Way to go, equal rights! (end rant.)

robyns

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I've never beat up a boyfriend, but I once gave an ex a solid black eye. It was the greatest moment of my entire life.

elizamulcahy

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> When I was in high school I slapped my bf hard enough to give him a bloody nose. In front of his friends. He told me my band was "cute," so I obviously had no choice.

maryrules

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> On paper I totally agree that neither person in a relationship should physically or verbally hurt the other partner in any way.

On the other hand, if someone knocked my laptop off a desk--he is asking for a good, old-fashioned screaming-at.

Maulleigh

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I threw a stiletto heel at my restaurant-owning ex husband's head one night. It was the two hundredth time he'd come home drunk and coked up at 6 AM on a school night. He put on some very loud music, woke me up demanding my weed, and then got aggro on me. When that sharp heel hit his head, it felt really good, but leaving his sorry ass felt so much better.

La Madrugada

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @petronella: those assholes deserve it. the guy who forgot to put the seat up, doesn't.

and why hit a dude when trashing his car hurts much, much more?

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Okay, dude.

This is another Conflict Tactics Scale report, which produces correct but irrelevant data. So, yeah. Women perpetrate more nonreciprocal violence -- slapping, stomping on feet, scratching, etc. It says exactly the same thing that every CTS report says: that men and women escalate conflict basically at an equal rate. So that's correct.

And then you hit beating, kicking, punching, etc, etc, etc. And that stuff? The stuff you pull out of the bottom of the CTS data? That's basically all men. There's violence, and then there's violence.

f-words

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: verily.

venusangel

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @venusangel: Then it's called gonzo porn, such as.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @shiningstar: Aw there's gotta be some exceptions... what if the female looks like Chyna Doll and the male looks like .. Justin Timberlake?

venusangel

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ WARMAIDEN: I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone in relationships, but still believe that under no circumstances should a man raise a hand to a woman. Call me old fashioned!

shiningstar

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> 1) I punched him in the face when he showed up to my birthday party with another girl...a week after we broke up.

2) I threw his cellphone at his stupid ugly head for being a cheating asshole texting another woman from my house. Unfortunately for him, my aim is true, not once, but twice.

Fuck them both, I'd do it again many times over.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> i had an ex who moved in with me and tried to sleep with his boss's PREGNANT daughter. I tried to get him to kiss me goodbye when i went to work one day and he wouldnt and it escaladed from there. He threatened to choke me and got in my face. He was 6'4 and I am 5'3. I got in his face and said,"Choke me mothefucker but you better kill me because if I make it off the floor I am going to beat your ass so hard no one will recognize your face!"
he backed off. I walked out the door and told him to pack his shit and get out by the time I came home.
Loser.

SpicyTamale πβɸ

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @whoneedslight: Nope. But I bet she's cool!

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @builderbyday: My loser alky ex is down in Florida now, far enough from me that I can laugh. If anyone is dating an old nurse named Brad, run away faster.
I am also small, and I thank my older brother every day for beating me up as a kid, so I got tough early. And thank my Dad, who told me not to hit my brother in the balls because it would end every fight, and then never punished me for using that knowledge.


weavingissexy

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I used to get very physical with my ex. In fact, we both got physical with each other, like way too fucking often. We'd have these big knock-down drag-out fights over NOTHING, with me kicking him and throwing shit at his head, and him slamming me on the ground on my back. (And he seriously wonders why I won't come back.) The big difference, though? He'd have a couple of scratches, while I'd have a black eye and broken blood vessels around my neck.

All of this is fucked up and embarrassing, and it took me several years to realize that, hey, this shit isn't right. Which is why leaving his ass was the best thing I ever did for myself.

whynotshesaid

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @whoneedslight: Justified. Freakin' internets, you can't have video floating around!

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> An ex-turned-stalker spit in my face when I was 20. I had consumed a really large tablet which may have been (oh hell, it was) a Quaalude. I borrowed a shillelagh, summoned the offender, he called my best friend a bitch and spit in my face again. I thumped him soundly. He called the next day "I hope you're proud, you gave me a concussion. It's my birthday, want to go to dinner?" Talk about hard-headed. I don't really believe in any of that behavior anymore but gawdamighty, don't spit in my face, creep.

Mrs. DeLesseps To You, Dahling

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ThaKadinskyPapers: We do? This comforts me.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @weavingissexy: did we date the same guy! because i swear you just stole a page from my diary.
i too dated a pussy-ass alky, who tried to shove me around one drunken night. i kicked his ass, then promptly broke up with him. not only because he was a drunk but because i'm only 5'4" and 101 lbs., and i don't want a man who ass I can kick.


builderbyday

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @tailfeather: Ooooo, Busted!

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @tailfeather:

Mary?

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @whoneedslight: Whatever, she was lying. She wasn't that drunk.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> During my entire childhood, my cousin spent every family occasion bullying me, until the day I got so mad that I threw his towel in the swimming-pool and hit him with a thermometer.
He's still whining about it, even though it happened more than fifteen years ago. But ever since, family reunions have been much, much more agreeable.

DreamerMarie

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I've (open-palm) smacked my lovely, perfect, wonderful boyfriend about twice since moving in with him. Never with full force (as I have a black belt, and I know that my full force is disabling when used correctly), but GOD do I feel terrible afterward. Even if he's taunting me and all but asking for it* (argh, I feel awful using that phrase), I feel like a heinous bitch.
(*by declaiming Wesley Willis lyrics at top volume, for example.)
Even more so given that my high school job was at a domestic violence shelter.

nadarine

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I have a friend who got blackout drunk and bit her boyfriend's ween. True story.

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> thank you. you guys make me feel normal.

allypanda

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I had this crazy Yankee Boyfriend who unbeknownst to me was a Cracky.. Out of the blue, he starts shouting, calling me a whore. He thought I was like his ex-girlfriends who would take shit.

This tool swung at me and missed. I put on my Cowboy boots to leave. He then tried to stop me and I kicked him in the knees cap and on the thumb.

The next day the bitch was whining that I scratched his face and his hand was swollen, oh and he had a limp. He tried a couple more times to hit me, but each time I went fucking Bruce Lee on his ass..

I never understood a woman that didn't fight back. I was way smaller than he was, but I just couldn't let him beat me down.. Men who beat women look for an initial WEAKNESS.. Then they go for the kill! You have to stop them in their tracks!
I guess that is why I am still single and living alone..


Ship_GWB_To_BAGHDAD

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @FromTheTulleShed: I have a dream where I kidnap and torture one particular ex, but believe you me his ass broke many a law and if anyone deserves it, its him. It's kind of 'Reservoir Dogs' meets 'Hostel' - I'll either write a script or start therapy, for the children.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Oh we have so many things in common!

@Bugis: "..threw him across the room by his penis." Wow, I have to admit that even made me flinch a bit.

@SpaghettiStreetwalker: Yeah, I can't do that silent treatment thing because it ends up being more painful for me than him. For him it's like the perfect time to play Tiger or take a nap, when all I wanna do is fuckin' argue.

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> It may be wrong to hit, it may be lame to just wish you had, but I've had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex.
If I saw him again, I don't think I'd be able to restrain myself.


FromTheTulleShed

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @tailfeather: Who has sex with his wife of eight years, tells her he loves her deeply, then gets up the next morning and says he doesn't, he was lying, and he's moving out? Who?

**heavy sigh**

I am now too afraid to have sex, as well, such as.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I had a shitty verbally and emotionally abusive boyfriend as well. He was my first and we were living together so like a naive idiot I stayed in a lot longer than I should have. He cheated on me with a mutual friend and was constantly telling me why I was not the ideal partner for him and why she was so much better.

One day in front of a mutual male friend he made a comment about my ass being 'public property' and it actually set off my fight or flight response. On some level I must have believed that our mutual friend would take him seriously and feared for my safety.

Despite the fact that my boyfriend outweighed me by fifty pounds, was eight inches taller (giving him a longer reach), and was going to Kung-fu classes three times a week I beat the shit out of him. I punched him repeatedly in the stomach and once I had him cornered I threw him across the room by his penis (I hadn't previously known that was physically possible).

I am not a violent person but it is amazing what can happen when you feel genuinely threatened. I later found out that the reason he stayed with me was because he could not afford to stay in the country without our combined income. When I moved into student housing (for tax reasons) he had to go home. I do not feel guilty about the way I acted because friends of mine who have been in similar situations and did not ever stand up for themselves ended up broken.

Bugis

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ebabydoll: I make a conscious effort to practice pacifism because I'm a brawler at heart.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ebabydoll: This raises classic rhetorical questions, such as: Why do so many of us smart broads go out with such bottom-feeders? And why is the sex usually so good?

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @ae38: oh god that's why i don't drink anymore - i am the nastiest, most evil drunk on the planet. one time i had to climb up on the barstool to get all in this football player's face because he stepped on my toe and didn't apologize.

ebabydoll

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Trixie from Toronto: You didn't cut off his dick and choke him with it. Given the circumstances, I think you were rather ladylike.

tailfeather

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> i was with a guy for 2 years and dumped him when i caught him cheating on me. he proceeded to camp out in front of my apartment whining and crying and begging me to take him back. so i opened the door, made him give me some nice oral, then after i wound up and gave him a full open-palm smack right across the face, then told him to take a hike.

which is pretty paltry compared to the time he choked me, punched me, backhanded me, and tried to throw me out of a moving car.

ebabydoll

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I think every man I have been with has received a slap from me. Every single one deserved it, says alot about my taste in men!

scorpiojamie11

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> When I'm drunk I think I am invincible and get really violent. Most of my ex's are pretty big guys so they usually do the hold me down till I stop acting like a lunatic thing. One guy did pick me up and body slam me, but I can't say it wasn't entirely deserved either.

ae38

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @sparkle: That's how the physical fights with my boyfriend always start. It's all fun and games at first, but then one of us takes things too far and then we just start beating on each other. I swear, despite my comments on this thread, it's actually a really healthy relationship.

Jerseylicious

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I posted this somewhere else once, and it stopped the thread dead in its tracks, and I feared everyone thought I was psycho. But when my husband announced he didn't love me anymore the morning after initiating passionate sex with me and telling me how much he loved me, I hurled a plastic laundry hamper at his head, bit him when he wouldn't let me see who he was furtively texting on his Blackberry, and whipped him once with his leather belt.

I am ashamed to say that I am proud of myself given I then came down with an STD passed along to me from this douchebag via his slutbag girlfriend.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I had a totally shitty, verbally and emotionally abusive boyfriend who, one night, basically had me in tears from telling me repeatedly how "stupid" and "fucking slow" I was. He was relentless in his tirade and I finally was like "SHUT UP" and shoved him so he hit my door. He fucking whined about how I "hit him" and "abused him" for like, 3 hours.

But you know what felt even better than shoving him that one time? How much he cried when I dumped his sorry ass.

narymary

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Yes, please, let's not forget the poor men, who make up a whopping 15% of the domestic violence victims (nonsarcastic saide: this includes situations in which the violence is mutual, or the woman used violence in response to violence), who are far less likely to be hurt by domestic violence given the differences in size and strength between most men and women, and who aren't laboring under lifetimes of oppressive gender hierarchy. I'm glad that you raised awareness of this terrible scourge so that we can convince the public that more of the ample, nay, surplus of resources that we throw at aleviating domestic violence against women can now be re-channeled to help the poor, oppressed men. Thank you. Thank you for thinking of the dudes.

petronella

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> An ex beat on me good because I called her "Labradoodle." What made it worse was that after every punch I just kept laughing harder.

Jonny Lieberman

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Your_sisterinlaws_baby_cousin_Traci:
Congrats on the classy, but with that screen name I don't know if I believe you. You ain't got to lie...

I.Can. Haz.Black.Editors?

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @SpaghettiStreetwalker: I try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. I try it EVERY time there's an argument (which used to be a daily occurrence with some BFs). But I just couldn't keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of "ignoring" him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all.

sparkle

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I got into a lovely wrestling match with a boyfriend once. We were drunk and he was taunting me, but I didn't want to actually hurt him so I let him win. And I used to wrestle with the boyfriend after that all the time. It was fun and playful at first, but things started to get angry. Like that one time when he lifted me up and dropped on his carpeted concrete floor... flat on my back.
Yeah, that wasn't fun. I screamed bloody murder which scared the shit out of him, and then got up and punched whatever shit was left out of him. He became mildly terrified of me after that.

I haven't wrestled the recent boyfriend yet, but I did learn that yelling and arguing really loudly and scarily like I do (thanks, dad!) scares him enough to win any argument. :)

sparkle

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Your_sisterinlaws_baby_cousin_Traci: When I was 17, I got lost in Orange Mound trying to get my aunt's house on Central. The stomping ground of Tripple 6 Mafia is not the place you want to get left on the side of the road.

Southern_Gent

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> In high school I was suspended for a week after "assaulting" my boyfriend after I found out he had cheated. To be honest, I don't really remember what exactly I did, but I know it was one of those scenes where I was dragged away like a wild animal. He totally tried to get me back after that, too. Who's crazier?

kitalyn

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @Go Like Hell Machine: Yeah. I understand that hitting is bad on both sides -- but let's be realistic. We're talking about two completely different weapons. The average woman's fist versus the average guy's fist is like a wiffle bat versus a crowbar.

I'll also admit that I've bitten two different guys on two different occasions, and I'm ashamed and disturbed about it. I don't think anyone should ever feel all "you go girl" about being violent.

larala

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it.

groupie

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Come on ladies, where are the shelters for battered men? Guys turning up in the emergency rooms with black eyes, broken noses?

My Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6'3" about 195 lbs.; she was 5' and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs.

Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?


BitterDryedUpHag

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> The laptop thing HAS to be Slutmachine. Bitch is awesome.

hhpeterson13

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I slapped a friend during the Super Bowl when he made a crack about Tony Dungy, but we were both drunk, and he likes being slapped (and spanked for that matter.)

MsStressa

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Wait, I thought we were supposed to beat up our men, like in the Ringside video for 'Tired of Being Sorry'?

And no, I have never hit anyone. I found sitting silently to be much more infuriating to ex-boyfriends. And I stick with what works, because I like to be the winner.

SpaghettiStreetwalker

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> The only time I punched my husband (in the arm, but hard) it sucked. We were arguing about something I felt strongly about, but the minute I punched him, he won. I'd love to be more noble, and say how bad I felt, but I actually just realized that losing control was an easy way to actually lose.

justifythis

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> The first time I met most of my boyfriend's friends we were at a party and kind of joking around, shoving each other and such. He then escalated things by slapping me. I retaliated by giving him a light backhand to the nuts (which I've found is way more effective than a full-on hit, by the way), which had him doubled over. It got pretty ugly, but oddly enough, right after that fight we said "I love you" for the first time.

Jerseylicious

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]>
As someone who has been both slapped AND punched by more than one ex- girlfriend, there's a big difference between getting slapped (even slapped hard) and getting full-on attacked.

And each time, I definitely deserved it. Actually, I think we usually do.

Go Like Hell Machine

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Actually, the one time I got into a throw-down started because I made dude get out of the car. In Orange Mound (I'm sure BDJ knows where it is). And yes, I left his ass there. When he got home it escalated into a full-on brawl with cops & everything. I'm classier than that now.

Your Sister-in-law's Baby Cousin Traci

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> A boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and there was nudity... he whips out his cell phone to start shooting VIDEO.

He got a hard slap to the face. I feel like that is justified, not abuse, right?

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> When I was 17 I was fighting with my boyfriend in the car and he put the car into neutral (from drive) when I wasn't looking. I punched him dead in the face and have regretted it ever since. More recently a male friend of mine, while in the throes mind you, told me he liked me, "but only with a small l". I bit him so hard he had a mark for a week. And it wasn't because I was so turned on. I regretted it again (I am a well of regret) but I have to say I think he may have had it coming.

azi

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> I once dated an alcoholic (rite of passage for all good little girls) who came over drunk and got in my face. I punched him hard enough to knock him on his ass. After I dumped him, he served me with a restraining order, which I proudly showed off to all his friends. Stupid wimp.

weavingissexy

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Yeah, I've punched the shit out of a guy. But I don't like to brag.

probationer

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Never hit a guy I was dating, but I drunkenly slapped some dude on the street the other night for yelling, "Are those store bought or real?"

Yanee

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Beating up on your man is just as wrong as beating up on your woman. I think sometimes women take advantage of the fact that most men KNOW they'd better not hit a woman, because the consequences are (rightfully) dire.

My father taught me that if I raise my fits to anyone, man or woman, be prepared for a fight. Which is why I keep my hands to myself.

ceejeemcbeegee

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> *snicker* It's okay, ladies. They can just consider it payback for binding our feet, shoving our chunklet asses into corsets, leaving chick babies on mountaintops, droolin over size 0 asses, and generally making us miserable for centuries. My favorite phrase that no one doubts? "I will punch you in the neck."

Then again, as a native NYer, I am also of the opinion that if a woman hits a man, he is allowed to hit her back. (I find the southern gentleman thing so CUTE, if ill-advised as a defense tactic.) Fair's fair, after all...

warmaiden

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> @washionfore: Same here. But I slapped him on his birthday, for telling me something I asked him to tell me in the first place - and then a whole bunch of other shit happened (why didn't I see this informal survey?)

I still feel bad about it....

ThaKadinskyPapers

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> Yes, that made me laugh really hard too. Very very hard.

I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it's abusive.

washionfore

]]> <![CDATA[Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have]]> you b*tches are violent. that's why i heart you so...

descent_into_votd

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