I know, rude. But I only ask because of this Indiegogo campaign, which popped up on the internet on March 24 and promises to, well see for yourself:
Beer made from the lactic acid bacteria found in your very own vagina. Huh. Don’t ask me, man. And besides, I’m the one asking the questions here. And that question is: Would U?
At this point, you’re probably thinking that this campaign is just some bad April Fool’s joke with a week’s head start, or that this beer will never see the light of day even if it is real, as the campaign has only raised €564 in eight days. You are probably right about both of those things, but understand this: The seed has been planted, and there is nothing more dangerous than an idea.
You really don’t think there will be vag-infused beers on the shelves at some point in the next 10 years? Do I need to remind you that we fuck flashlights in this country? The point is, we are always getting weirder, and maybe one day your partner will ask for this particular favor. What are you gonna do then?
“But!” you protest. “My boyfriend would never want to drink something so gross!” Perhaps you are right, but let me ask the following questions about your mate:
- When he walks into a room, does he point out every individual woman in sight and say, “Ladies, ladies, ladies....” in a Matthew McConaughey voice?
- Does he use Reddit?
- Is he one of Milo Yiannopoulos’s 44 racist interns?
- Has he ever attended the CrossFit Games?
- Does he eat bananas without peeling them?
- Does he care a lot about Ethics In Games Journalism?
- Does he get really mad when he can’t find his Perfect Pushup?
If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, well I’m sorry, but it’s time to start thinking about what kind of beer you’re going to brew. Maybe a pilsner?