Worth It: Black Milk Fandom Collections

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn’t get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that’s how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation of random things that we’ve actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we’d actually tell our friends about. And now we’re telling you.

The Black Milk Hogwarts collection is out today. Your first question may be, “Callie, are you seriously encouraging me to spend an obscene amount of money buying a polyester/lycra blend garment that celebrates my love of a children’s book and movie franchise?” The answer to that is: duh. Of course I am. And if you’re not into Harry Potter, they have Star Wars, Middle Earth, and Mass Effect clothing as well. You know the old saying — if you love something, have a pattern made of it put onto high-wasted tights and/or a swimsuit that is probably not meant to be worn in the water.

I have the Lord of the Rings map of Middle Earth dress. Here is why it’s a possession I am glad to own: 1) it’s less terrifying than the life-size cardboard cutout of Legolas I had in my youth, 2) IT’S A MAP OF MIDDLE EARTH, 3) I one time looked up the first edition Middle Earth dress on eBay (a rare item no longer in stock on Black Milk) and it was selling for $900, which makes an aged Middle Earth dress a greater luxury in all the riches in the Mines of Moria, and 4) it’s a good way to end a conversation with someone who is bad at life. For instance, one time a man approached me at a concert and said “Your outfit looks really nice. How did you choose it?”, which is the worst pick-up line crafted by man or beast since time immemorial. I replied, “Thank you, sir, I am glad you asked; it’s a map of Middle Earth from the much-beloved book and movie series Lord of the Rings and also The Hobbit.” He stared at me for a few seconds and then receded into the ether. It was a perfect interaction.

Also, the designs are really beautiful and striking, if you’re into looking like a stylish teen denizen of Tumblr (I am). My only complaint is that I wish the models didn’t look so angry/hungry/confused.

Black Milk clothing, $60.00 AUD – $100.00 AUD, blackmilkclothing.com

Worth It only features things we paid for ourselves and actually like. Don’t send us stuff. To see all previous Worth It columns, click here.