Today in evergreen ledes: a trio of women who benefitted immensely from gains made by feminists yet don't appear to understand what feminism is appeared on a Fox News program to talk about how feminism is bad.

Per Talking Points Memo, the PolitiChicks are promoting their new book about this new flavor of "pro-woman" feminism, which is a term conservatives have been flinging around for the last few years in pursuit of the elusive female vote that implies that the other kind of feminism is for anti-feminine (or possibly lesbo-sexual) crew cut-havers who want to abolish long hair and nail polish and girly laughter and the general concept of love. But also, I guess, we genderless, humorless angry women somehow (witchcraft???) are still able to harness our feminine wiles to fuck men fairly constantly with barely long enough pauses to attend our weekly man-hating rallies, which puts us at risk for such awfulness like abortion and caring about birth control. Modern feminism is obsessed with sex! says the trio of white women who doesn't understand that issues of sexuality and reproduction affect most women and the men who give a shit about them (especially women who aren't rich white women), and will continue to affect most women and the men who give a shit about them since we haven't yet developed the technology to grow babies in sun tea jars and we all came from somewhere and as long as that process, biologically, affects women a helluva lot more dramatically than men, fucking duh sex is always going to be a feminist issue, you nitwits. Christ.

But don't take my word for it. Here's an excerpt of what was actually said:

"What the feminist movement has successfully done, is really, as Ann-Marie puts it, sexualized women instead of feminizing women," Loudon said. "So, we are here with a new brand of feminism, saying drop the shackles of the old feminism. It's time for women who really want to be women, who want to be feminine, who want to be what God designed them to be."

Murrell defended the view, saying feminists have it all wrong.

"They claim that we put women back into the '50s where women stayed home and took care of their children and their families," Murrell said. "I say that what they're doing, they are like cave women waiting for caveman to bonk them on the head and drag them into the caves by the hair. That's who they are. They're the ones putting us back into the stone ages."

The PolitiChicks message was that they knew what women wanted.

"They want less government in their lives," PolitiChicks host Morgan Brittany said. "They want to make their own decisions. They want freedom to choose for their children, their families. That's what women really want. And they also want real men. We love real men."

RE: less government — I completely agree. Which is why I want to stop being asked to pay for wars to which I am morally opposed. But what the hell do they mean by women really want a "real man"? Like a conservative dude? Like Ted Cruz or Mitch McConnell or Lindsay Graham? Because those "real men" seem quite happy with their wives and good for them and their families but not for me, chicks. Not for me.

Anyway, Talking Points Memo's big takeaway here is that the PolitiChicks believe that feminism is turning women into something other than what God designed them to be. This is where I point out that while a lot of women look great in blonde highlights and makeup, God didn't really design women to have those things, either, so their argument is kind of silly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to resume my endless feminist pattern of alternately having sex with men and talking about how much I hate them. TO THE STONEAGE, COVEN SISTERS!