A woman featured on a new episode of TLC's Sex Sent Me to the ER used Pop Rocks on her genitals. Since she was featured in an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER, you can go ahead an imagine how well that worked out.

The unidentified Newport Beach woman went to the emergency room complaining of burning and itching, because OF COURSE POP ROCKS ON YOUR GENITALS WILL CAUSE ALL OF THAT. The woman said she tried it because it would give her a tingling sensation during sex with her husband.

"She said, 'The rocks are supposed to have added to our sexual pleasure and I made my husband use them,'" said emergency room doctor David Meyers during the episode. "She bought these candy rocks which are supposed to explode and tingle and sensation to their sex."

I wrote a very insightful essay about this for my blog, Things You Should Never Put On Your VaJayJay Ever No Matter What. Below is an excerpt. Please enjoy:

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPINGTON NOPESTERS NOPELLA NOPEROTEMY NOPE2001 NOPEING NOPES NOPEYPANTS NOPEY MCNOPESTERSTONS NOPE CITY, NOPESVILLE. DUKE OF NOPEWELLINGTON NOPESHITTYNOPENOPEBANGBANG NOPE.

NOPE.