"If you have bad kids, please let them play with him." "He gets naughty when he watches Cats From Hell." "Stop it! I'm saying nice things about you!" Is this the most quotable video of our time? You bet your tank top and wonder bra it is!

We have no idea whether this video is real (It was uploaded and deleted from Uproxx so fast it made my head spin and I had to search for cat videos on Reddit), but even if the cat doing the hitting and biting and being an all-around monster in this video is just a trained actor committed to the Stanismeowsky method of acting, it's a glorious thing to watch this woman try to give him away. He's a good cat, really! He just claws and bites and is awful with children! And he could be yours! Just take him! She'll put him in a box for you today! Just don't let him watch TV. OWWWWWWW!

Thank you, Internet.