On Friday afternoon, five men entered a Duane Reade in the TriBeCa neighborhood of Manhattan, made a beeline to the frozen aisle (probably), and shoved 226 pints of Häagen-Dazs and 24 tubs of Delish ice cream into their knapsacks. What a dream!

The gang of lawbreakers, who ended up with $1,310 of free scream, have not been caught. Meanwhile, the Duane Reade has been unable to confirm which flavors were stolen.

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Are you one of the men who participated in this crime spree? Email me at my address listed below for a potential business/love arrangement. Thank you for your consideration.


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.

Image via Shutterstock.